Missing you
by Hope July
Summary: Emma Swan has every reason to be happy : Three beautiful kids, a big family, a husband she loves so damn much. One day, she gets a call from her father : something is happening near the town line. Little does she know that what she's about to find there is going to change everything in the perfect relationship she's sharing with Killian Jones
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, guys!**

 **Finally, I'm here with this new fiction! It's 23 chapters long, and I'll try to update every week (probably on Saturday) ! This story can be considered as the next part of "It's gonna be okay" and "Again?", but you can absolutely understand what's happening in here without reading these two fictions, the stories being very different from one another. The only things you need to know is that Killian and Emma are married and have two kids, Liam and Leia. Also, Robin Hood isn't dead, because I'm stuck in an endless denial hehe. I really, really enjoyed writing this story, that contains a lot of angst and fluff, and I hope you'll like it too! See the end of the chapter for more notes!**

 **Enjoy! :)**

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Emma Swan got partly awakened by a ray of early sunshine making its way through the curtains to come tickling her closed eyelids. She let go of a little sight and refused to open her eyes right away, aware that it was still quite early and wanting to enjoy this peaceful moment, just for a little bit longer anyways. In a few minutes, she would have to get up and start with her day, but she was just not ready yet. She could feel her husband's arms wrapped around her, his hand spread wide on her stomach. She was glued to his body, and his face was buried into the crook of her neck, his steady, warm breath caressing her thin skin and making her shiver. She had a slight smile, still half-asleep. She grabbed his arms and wrapped them tighter around her to feel him just a little bit closer. She was now completely buried in his embrace and, comforted, she let herself slip into sleep again...

 _Beep!_ The screeching noise of her alarm clock made her open her eyes completely, and she let go of a frustrated groan. She would have wanted to stay like that, just for a little while longer, to enjoy this position and this perfect moment, but she also knew she didn't have a choice but to get up and go on with her day. She felt Killian waking up beside her, his breathing getting a bit faster, and she reluctantly pulled away from him to cut the device still ringing into the room, resisting the sudden need to throw it against the wall and be done with this evil thing once and for all. Once it had finally shut up, she rolled on her back and put her hands over her eyes, groaning again, telling herself, as always, that it was definitely way too early to get off bed. She ended up spreading her fingers to peer between them at the slightly enlightened room around her, and met Killian's glaze, who was looking at her with a teasing smile dancing on his lips, his eyes shinning with amusement. He was looking completely awakened, she noticed, and that annoyed her even more, because smiling in the morning, before a cup of coffee anyways, should have been, in her opinion, legally forbidden.

"Jesus Christ, Jones, stop smiling. I will never get used to seeing you that happy in the morning." She moaned in a husky voice.

Not seeming impressed at all by her obvious bad mood, he chuckled and tenderly chased away one of her hair strand that had fallen over her face. Through the years, her and Killian had discovered that they were definitely the opposites concerning some subjects. He liked to get up early, right when the sun was beginning to rise in the sky while, if she'd had the choice, she would have slept every day until noon. He was organized, too much if you'd asked her, since he wanted everything to be neat in the house, while she was a bit messy and tidying wasn't really her strong suit, what could drive him crazy sometimes. He liked to cook, eat healthy, while she would have been happy with grilled cheese and onion rings every day. Yes, Killian and her were definitely very different regarding some daily little things. But she was happy to notice they were understanding each other anyways, and they were a perfect complement for one another.

"I've had the habit of waking up with the sun every morning, love." He gently answered. "I was a captain for centuries, after all."

"Yeah, well being in such a good mood in the morning should be illegal if you ask me." She said with a slight smile she wasn't managing to hide, what made him laugh again.

As always, she was waking up in a very bad mood, and, as always, he was managing to make her smile. He was the only one able to do such a thing, actually. If it'd been any other person, she would probably have gotten annoyed even more. But he was so adorable she couldn't help herself. And god, those eyes staring at her, this smile, this absolutely perfect figure, she couldn't stay unresponsive to that. It was making butterflies appear in her stomach, and she was feeling so, so grateful to share her bed, her home, her life with a man getting her so damn well.

"I'll get coffee on the way." He said, gesturing to get off the bed.

"No, wait!" She replied, grabbing his wrist and tugging him closer to force him to lay back down on his back.

He offered her a questioning look that she decided to ignore, and she moved to straddle him, one leg each side of his body, her hands spread wide on his bare chest. She pressed a quick peck on his lips, what made him giggle when her long blond hair tickled the sensitive skin of his neck.

"I thought you were tired." he said, placing his right hand on the small of her back to silently encourage her to continue what she'd started.

"The kids aren't up yet, I think we've got a little bit of time to ourselves. We might as well enjoy it." She whispered as an answer, leaning forward to press a bunch of little kisses down his neck and on his collar bone, letting her tongue dance on this sensitive spot just underneath his shoulder, what made him shiver.

"Mmm, I see you're in a good mood." He said in a husky voice as her now open-mouthed kisses were getting lower and lower on his tight stomach.

Feeling in a teasing mood, she left a few kisses right above where she knew he needed her, but got back to his face when he let go of a little moan. She wriggled her eyebrows at him and noticed with contentment his eyes darkened with lust and his already growing arousal pressed against her lower stomach. He shook his head, falsely annoyed at her teasing, and she started to gently nibble at his ear, feeling her own heart beating faster at these little games between them.

But he wasn't agreeing with her lingering these activities, and, without notice, he grabbed her arm, what surprised her and made her stop. In an almost gentle gesture, he made her roll on her back, leaning above her as she was giggling at the growing lust she could read in his gaze. In a voice a bit deeper than usual, he said :

"So, I see you want to play, princess?"

"Your call, captain." She replied in the same tone.

Her naked legs wrapped around his waist as his hand was starting to make its way under the camisole she was wearing to sleep. Their kisses continued, more and more demanding as she was feeling the heat burning between her legs, and she bit his bottom lip, what made him moan in pleasure. Her tank top wrapped around his forearm as his hand was getting higher in her back, revealing her naked, flat stomach. She was about to pull away from him, just for a minute, to get rid of the clothes stopping him from achieving his goal, when two little voices rang in the corridor, making them stop.

"Mommy!"

"Daddy!"

She sighted as his hand was sliding out of her top and his forehead was coming to rest against hers, both a bit breathless and definitely very frustrated to get interrupted in such an intimate moment. She said after a few seconds of silence, stroking his back to get him closer to her just for a little bit longer.

"I can't believe it, these two are worst than alarm clocks."

"I mean, they couldn't have chosen a worst moment to wake up." He mumbled, letting go of a little sight.

They took a few more seconds to pull themselves together and go get their kids. Then she lifted her head from her pillow to press a kiss on the corner of his mouth, and she whispered to his ear :

"Pushing this back to tonight?"

"We better." He replied, kissing her forehead before getting up, reaching for her hand to help her do the same.

She smiled seeing him being a gentleman, as always, and accepted his hand, getting out of their bed. They took the time to get dressed, her putting on yoga pants, him taking a gray shirt that wasn't doing anything to hide the muscles of his arms, what earned him a please glance from Emma. Without conferring, they both headed for the opposite sides of the hall, her walking to go into Liam's room, him doing the same for Leia's.

It was an habit they'd taken without really having to talk about it. It was coming from the fact that Killian was really close to Leia, while Emma was getting Liam more easily. It had nothing to do with a preferential treatment of some sort : she was loving Henry, Liam and Leia so much, she didn't have a favorite at all. But Hook was managing to calm and comfort Leia, while Emma was more gifted with Liam on that matter. It was how things were, they couldn't do anything about it, and she wasn't complaining at all. It wasn't as if they were wallowing in those eases either : They were both spending moments alone with each three of their kids – Henry was Killian's son too, now, even if they weren't sharing the same blood. The bound between them was so strong, they loved spending time together, and Killian was a true father figure to Henry, her son was saying it himself, what was always making Emma so happy. They didn't want one of the kids to feel left out, so they were showing the same love to each of them. And it was working so well that way, so she couldn't see any reason why they should change these little moments in the morning between her youngest son and herself, and between Killian and their daughter.

She had to admit that Liam and Leia were very different from one another. They were actually quite the opposites. Her son, who was four and a half now, was calm, easy-going, cheerful. Of course, he could get in troubles sometimes, as every kids of his age, especially when he was with her baby brother Neal, because these two were inseparable. But Killian and her hadn't had to punish him that often, and he was naturally smiling and laughing all the time.

As for Leia, it was more complicated. Emma had to admit the little girl had taken both her and Killian's personalities, and she could be really stubborn sometimes. She was only two years old, and she could be so adorable, but she could also become unbearable when she wasn't getting what she wanted. She was a bit unruly, and sometimes, she could throw some huge and impressive tantrums when she was hearing the word _no._ During those moments, Hook was the only one able to actually settle her down, and she was becoming this adorable, smiling and gorgeous little girl she could be in her good days all over again. Emma had to admit that, sometimes, her daughter could drive her mad like no one else could, but she was loving this little girl so damn much it was erasing everything else. And Hook, her parents and Henry were also completely in love with her.

Henry. He had just turned eighteen, and was now becoming a man. He was still in a relationship with Violet, his first love, for more than four years now, and things between them were talking a pretty serious turn. He was changing so fast, she thought, he was becoming more and more mature and was so caring with everyone. He was always noticing it right away when something was wrong with one member of the family, even if they were trying to hide it from him. He was such a great big brother to Leia and Liam, and she knew that the latter was taking his brother like a true role model now that he was growing up. She couldn't have been prouder of her three kids : she was loving them all so much, and her little family was absolutely perfect.

She opened Liam's door, left ajar, as always in case there would be a problem during the night, and entered her son's room. He was waiting for her, soundly sitting on his bed, eyes still swollen with sleep. Now that he was more than four, he would have been old enough to get up by himself, but they were both loving these morning cuddles that were putting them in such a good mood, strengthening the already deep bound they were sharing day after day. She smiled at him and he imitated her, his eyes enlightening with joy. Her eyes met for a brief second the wall against which the bed was placed : the wheel of a ship was painted next to a _Liam_ written in blue letters. On his nightstand, a replica of the Jolly Roger was laying next to a book talking about ships, oceans and sailing. Liam was dreaming about a sailor life, he wanted to be just like his father, who he was admiring so much. He was actually looking a lot like Killian : he had his dark hair and his features, even if he'd gotten her green eyes and her smile, little dimples sinking his cheek every time he was grinning. That made her smile, seeing how perfect her little boy was, and she sat down on the bed next to him, spreading her arms wide for him to approach her. He immediately climbed on her lap and wrapped his little arms around her neck, giggling :

"Did you sleep well, sweetheart?" She asked, running her hand through his dark hair.

"Yeah, and I'm hungry!" He said, what made her chuckle. "What do we eat for breakfast today?"

She took a purposely mysterious expression that made her little boy's eyes go wide. "Mmm... I seem to recall you asking for toasts for a few days, now, am I right?"

"And?" He encouraged her to continue, a big smile on his face.

"And Daddy is getting them ready right now." She answered with a laugh at his enthusiasm.

"Oh, yeah!" He shouted as if it was the news of the year.

His scream got followed by a huge noise coming from the door of his closet, that had just slammed in a terrible din. They both startled, and Liam's expression changed completely. He stared at his mom, looking deeply afraid, and buried his face into Emma's neck to reassure himself.

"Hey, it's okay, baby, it's not a big deal" She tried to comfort him, her heart aching by seeing Liam so scared, stroking his back to try and make him feel better.

It'd been several months since this kind of things was happening now, when Liam was feeling sudden emotions such as joy, anger or fear. It wasn't that surprising he was born with magic, she thought. After all, he was the grandson of Snow White and Prince Charming, the product of a true love between her and Killian, and she was the Savior. Henry was the Author, it was quite logical Liam had powers himself. They didn't know why his magic had seemed to appear around his fourth birthday, but it'd been the same for Robyn, Zelena's daughter. They'd then decided it was better for them if Regina was teaching them how to use their powers so they wouldn't get scared. Emma wasn't feeling confident enough to teach her own son that kind of things, and her friend had kindly offered her help. Liam and Robyn could still seem a bit young to learn how to use their magic, and they'd talked a long while about that, Killian and her, to decide what was the best reaction to have regarding this subject. They were both scared it would put their son in danger, but they'd finally decided it was important for Liam to learn how to control his powers, because it was scaring him a lot, and seeing their son happy was the most important thing for them. It wasn't unusual for the little boy to call his parents in the middle of the night because he'd had a nightmare and his window or wardrobe were becoming uncontrollable. Luckily, Emma was always able to stop the storm with her own magic, but it couldn't go on like that : she knew that Liam was terrified by this part of himself he couldn't understand, and she didn't want him to be scared. He had to accept himself the way he was, he had to love himself, even if it was complicated, she knew this all too well. She wasn't going to let him lose his self-confidence. She wasn't going to let him make the same mistake she'd made when she'd tried to get rid of her powers, because she was too afraid. The lessons with Regina were therefore supposed to start this month, and she couldn't wait for this date to arrive, because Liam's powers seemed to get stronger and stronger with each passing day.

"You don't have to be scared, sweetheart." She whispered to comfort him. "Regina is going to teach you how to control this, okay?"

He didn't answer anything, still looking a bit scared, and she gently rocked him against her chest for a few more seconds. Then she got up, still holding him in her arms, and said cheerfully, trying to show him he didn't have to worry and things would be okay :

"So, buddy, are we going to eat those toasts or not?"

He ended up pulling away from her, leaving his arms around her neck, and offered her a shy smile, finally looking a bit reassured by his mom's embrace. She kissed the top of his head, happy to see him smiling again, and got down the stairs to go join Killian and Leia, who were already in the kitchen, their daughter babbling about something they couldn't understand.

She put her son on the floor, and he rushed to Killian, who was busy cooking the toasts, to ask for a kiss. Her husband squatted for a minute and hugged their son tight, a big smile on both their faces. She looked at them for a few seconds, tenderized to see them so close, then walked to go greet her daughter, pressing a kiss on the top of her head. The little girl offered her a bright smile, and she let go of a little giggle, happy to see that Leia was obviously in a good mood.

"Did you sleep well, princess?" She asked, sitting next to the toddler to talk to her a little.

"Yeah!" Leia shouted with a big grin.

She was still so young, but her vocabulary was already surprisingly advanced for her age, and she could say things that were so smart it was leaving her and Killian speechless. They still didn't now if she had magic or not : she was still almost a baby, and for now, Emma was hoping that, if she had powers, they weren't going to appear for a few more years. With the tantrums Leia could throw, she would have been able to destroy the entire house with magic in her hands, and she really would have preferred to avoid that kind of chaos. But today, her little girl seemed calm and smiling, patiently waiting for her breakfast in her baby chair, what was highly unusual, but Emma was certainly not going to complain about it.

If Liam was the spitting image of his father, Leia had taken a lot of Emma's features. With her wavy, blond hair falling on her little shoulders, she had Emma's nose and mouth, even if she'd inherited Killian's bright blue eyes. She was literally looking like a little princess, but she had more of the personality of a pirate, as Emma's parents liked to say. They weren't wrong, though, she had to admit it.

She spent a little while talking with her daughter, enjoying the fact she was in a very good mood, and ended up getting up to go help Killian putting the toasts on three plates, the fourth one being used to contain Leia's peanut butter sandwich. When this was done, she placed one of the plate in front of Liam, who looked at her with eyes sparkling with joy, and gave Leia her own breakfast, the little girl immediately starting to chew on her part with a focused expression on her face. Killian handed her a cup of coffee, and she got on her tiptoe to kiss his lips as a quiet thank you, his hand resting on the small of her back to pull her closer.

"Ewww." Liam said with a disgusted grin that made them both smile.

Emma was about to answer something to gently tease her son when her cellphone, that was laying on the kitchen counter, started to ring. Hook smiled to show her to pick it up, knowing that a call at this early hour meant that there was probably an issue somewhere in town. They luckily hadn't had to face any big crisis since Zelena, who'd tried to get her daughter back while Emma was pregnant with Leia. The witch had now schedules planned so she could see Robyn regularly and learn to know her, and was looking calmed down since she wanted to be a good mother for her little girl. Of course, they'd had to face some little issues from time to time : a fight, a theft, Leroy punching one of his brothers. But since Leia's birth, everything seemed calm and peaceful. Without knowing why, however, Emma felt like it was all about to change today.

She let go of a little sight and took one bite out of her toast, keeping the food in her hand while taking her phone to see who was calling her. She noticed her dad's name written on the screen, and winced when she realized her prediction was becoming real. She quickly picked up, saying :

"What's going on?"

"Good morning to you too, sunshine." Her father joked, what made her roll her eyes even if a little laugh escaped her lips.

"Morning, daddy." She said in a little girl's voice that made Killian chuckle beside her. "Can you tell me what's happening, now?"

"Nothing bad, but it seems like there is a bit of fuss near the town line. Maybe we should go take a look at it before it gets too bad."

She saw Killian raising an eyebrow at her to silently ask her what her father wanted, and she mouthed "Something in the forest" before taking another bite of her breakfast, relieved that the crisis didn't seem that bad after all.

"Okay, let's meet at Granny's." She said, her mouth still half full. "See you in fifteen minutes."

She saw Killian wincing as he was aware that she couldn't arrive that fast to the meeting since the kids still needed to get dressed so they could drop them at Ashley's, who was babysitting Liam and Leia when they needed her. She sticked her tongue out as an answer to his mocking expression, what drew her a scandalized stare from Liam, and she hung the phone up, putting it back on the counter.

"Go." Killian gently said, a smile on his face. "I'll take care of the kids. You're the sheriff, after all, I'll join you later."

"Really?" She asked, touched by the fact he wanted to make things easy for her. "You sure?"

"Of course. Go get dressed."

"Thanks, babe." She smiled, kissing him on the cheek. "You're the best."

Five minutes later, she had put on jeans and a white shirt, putting on her red leather jacket before going back into the kitchen to take her phone and kiss her kids goodbye. She took another toast in her hand, kissed Liam et Leia, pressed a quick peck on Killian's lips, and headed for the door with light steps, throwing a "Love you, guys!" behind her shoulder, before going out to face the cold wind of September. She was now sure that she'd been wrong before, and that nothing bad was going to happen in the town. She would come home in a few hours, as if nothing had changed.

Little did she know she was about to discover something that was going to change _everything._

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 **Here you go for today! I know this chapter is very calm, but I needed to put eveything into place. Things are already going to get more complicated for our Swan-Jones family in the next chapter!  
**

 **I hope you guys liked this chapter, and see you soon! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi guys!**

 **First of all, thank you all so much for the support you've already given me about this story! I really hope it will answer all of your expectations! A special thank you to Stefh2345 and oncer4life11 for their reviews, you guys are awesome!**

 **See the end of this chapter for more notes, because I have a few things to say about the new characters introduced in this part of the story :)**

 **Enjoy!**

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For some reason she couldn't understand – a miracle, for all she knew- she actually arrived on time at Granny's. Her dad wasn't there yet, used to the fact she was always late. He was never complaining about it, though, he knew what it was like to have a little kid at home, and she was thankful for his thoughtfulness. Respecting schedules with two kids and a teenager wasn't always an easy thing. Happy to have managed her way to the diner on time, she entered Granny's to order something and continue the breakfast she hadn't had the time to finish. She asked for a chocolate donut with a ton of sugar on it, taking advantage of Killian's absence to actually eat junk food. He hated for her to start the day with sugar like that, he would always say that it wasn't healthy, that she was going to get sick and that he didn't know how she was managing to stay on her feet while eating like she did. His reaction was making her laugh a lot : she'd eaten like that for her entire life, she'd never had someone to tell her not to do it, and his statements meant that he was caring about her and her well-being. But still, sometimes, she was taking the opportunity when he wasn't there to enjoy what she wanted. She was an adult, after all, and she had the right to eat whatever she wanted, even if she knew deep down that he was right.

Right as Granny was giving her her order with a kind smile, she spotted her dad's truck stopping in front of the diner. She thanked her friend, and got out into the cold wind of September. She was definitely in a very good mood, her steps light, humming the chorus of a song she'd listened to the night before while taking her shower. She took a huge bite of her breakfast, enjoying the feeling of the melted chocolate on her tongue. Looking up, she noticed with surprise her son going out of the car, and greeted him with a smile :

"Morning, kid! What are you doing there?"

"Hey, Mom! Well, my other mom told me there was something weird happening near the town line, so I've decided to go take a look at it with you and Grandpa. I hope it doesn't bother you. It's not important anyways." He joked, what made her smile. "I'm an adult now, I can do whatever I want"

"Yeah, yeah, tell that to yourself." She answered with a giggle. "Whatever makes you feel good, kid."

He rolled his eyes, but smiled at the same time, and she approached him to briefly hug him. She knew her son was happy to finally be considered as an adult. He'd wanted to take a year off after finishing high school, not really knowing what subject he wanted to study in college yet, or if he wanted to go to college at all. But he was sure of one thing : he wanted to become a writer. And she knew he was on the good path for succeeding. Being the Author, he had experience in this field, and she knew that he was working on a novel right now, spending hours in his room in front of his computer. He'd made her read the first few chapters, and she had found the story really good, feeling so proud of her son. During his free time, when he wasn't taking Violet on a date, or wanted to get out of his room, he was coming to help her at the sheriff station, and she knew he was liking these moments a lot. Lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice the little smirk Henry had on his lips, and he started to talk again :

"You know, I could ask you the same thing."

"Ask me what?" She said without understanding his sentence.

"Ask you what you are doing here." he explained with a chuckle. "You're never on time. What's gotten into you?"

"Very, very clever." She mumbled without managing to cover her laugh. "And to answer your question, Killian is taking care of the kids to make things easy for me. He'll come to join us later."

"And you're taking this opportunity to eat junk food. I have to say I'm disappointed in you, mom." He scoffed, gesturing to point at her donut.

She gave him a falsely threatening look and took another bite of her breakfast, defiantly lifting her chin up, what made her son laugh out loud. They liked to tease each other a lot, now that Henry was older, and she loved these little games between them, only strengthening the bound they were already sharing. Her dad, who'd watched the entire conversation, holding a bit back, chuckled when he heard their jokes, and gestured for them to walk into the car :

"Okay, kids, stop fighting now and get into the truck, or you won't have any desert tonight."

Emma snorted at that, rolling her eyes, playing along with her dad that was purposely acting like they were both little kids. She was finding this pretty funny, actually, and obeyed as her dad was continuing :

"And Emma, if you put sugar on the seats, I'm warning you, you're the one who's gonna clean the mess."

"What the hell do you all have against my donut, for god's sake?" She replied, pouting behind her pastry.

That made David laugh again, and she smiled, buckling up and finishing her breakfast on her seat. She was feeling so happy that day. She'd been for a while, actually. She had three wonderful kids, Killian and her seemed more in love than ever, her family seemed to have found balance between fighting crime and spending time together, and everything seemed good in Storybrooke. Little did she know that her good mood was going to disappear very soon.

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It didn't take long for them to arrive to the town line, but meanwhile, it'd started raining, one of these little unpleasant downpours that were biting the skin and reaching the bones. Emma noticed through the windshield that a little crowd had formed near the forest, people talking with each other, their arms folded to protect themselves from the wind, their eyes widened in excitement. From where she was, she couldn't see what was putting them all in such a strange state, but it intrigued her a lot to see the citizens so agitated. She got off the car pretty quickly, eager to know what the hell was going on. She dusted the sugar that'd fallen over her jeans and leather jacket as she'd eaten her sweet, and walked toward the mob with confident steps. Whatever was happening, she got it, she always did.

The dwarves were there, along with some of Robin's friends and a lot of other people coming from the town. They all turned to look at them as they were approaching, but didn't move to let them take a look at what was happening. Wanting to avoid things to get even more complicated, Emma said in a loud, bossy voice :

"Okay, guys, the show is over! We're taking control now, everything is gonna be okay. You can go home."

"In your dreams, Swan!" Leroy answered, and she rolled her eyes in annoyance. "It's been a very long time since we've faced that kind of things in this town. It was starting to get boring. We are not going to miss this."

"It wasn't a question, Leroy." She said, exasperated. "I won't hesitate to take you to the station if you refuse to cooperate, you know that I'm capable of it. Now, let us do our job, or I swear you're gonna spend a little time in that cell you seem to like so much"

"Oh, come on, sister!" He protested, knowing all too well that she wasn't threatening him for nothing and that she was actually going to lock him inside the station for a few hours if he was going on like this, because that situation wasn't so unusual in this town.

"No, she's right, Leroy." Her dad shrugged, coming to stand beside his daughter. "You know she'll do it. You have to go home."

Emma wasn't listening to the conversation anymore. Leroy's words had finally made sense in her mind, and she was feeling a bit perplexed. If she was believing her friend, it'd been a while since they'd had to face that kind of situation. Did that mean that a crisis was happening? But what was it, and why was everyone looking so excited?

Without paying attention to the outcries she was receiving, she rushed a few of the citizens to arrive in the center of the circle that had formed in the middle of the road. She had to see what was happening, no matter how, and if they didn't want to let her pass, well she was going to find a way. She then found herself face to face with three people she had never seen before in her life, two men and a woman, who, and she felt very intrigued by this observation, didn't seem lost at all. They were even looking quite confident, and were proudly standing in the middle of the crowd, looking around them as if they were searching for someone.

"Hum... Hello?" She started, a bit surprised, as her dad was forcing the citizens to go back home, and they were finally listening to him, shuffling toward their cars, a bit disappointed to get chased away like that.

Henry came to stand beside his mom, and peered at the strangers, chewing on his bottom lip to try and put a name on their faces. The woman of the group – a gorgeous girl, with a light brown skin, long, dark hair and black eyes that seemed able to read into your soul – turned to face them, and asked with confidence, and a bit of aggression if Emma was relying on her instinct.

"Finally someone that doesn't look at us like we are some strange beasts! Are we in Storybrooke?"

"Indeed you are." Emma answered with a bit of hesitation in her voice, destabilized by the tone the young woman had used to talk to her. "I am the sheriff, my name is Emma Swan. Can I help you with something? Are you lost?"

"Lost? God, no!" The girl said, letting go of a laugh that was sounding more like a barking, and Emma had the sudden and strange feeling she'd said the biggest mistake ever. "We are right where we're supposed to be. We are looking for someone, actually."

"Looking for someone, here, in Storybrooke?" Emma asked, and when her interlocutor gave her a sharp nod, she forced herself to pull herself together and talk in the confident tone she was supposed to use – she was the sheriff, after all, she was in control here, she couldn't feel lost. "Very well, maybe if you gave us a name, we'd be able to help you?"

"I don't see how you could, I'm pretty sure you don't know who we are looking for."

"Try me." Emma said, more and more annoyed by this girl's behavior. Who did she think she was, anyways?

"Well..." One of the two men then started, but he got interrupted almost right away by Henry, who shouted, making her startle :

"Hey, I know who you are!"

She turned to her son, surprised. She was pretty sure she'd never seen these people before in her life, but she was trusting Henry. If he was saying he knew them, it was true. Knowing that she wasn't going to get that much more information from this woman that seemed way more that stubborn, she raised an eyebrow and asked :

"Henry, have you seen them around here before?"

"No, they're not from Storybrooke." he said, consolidating her first thought. "But I've read about them. They are Aladdin and Jasmine from Agrabah, Mom."

She turned to look at the strangers, frowning to try and see if her son was right, but they all nodded at the same time to assure her that all of this was true. She only knew their story through the movie she'd watched when she was younger, in one of the foster home that was actually allowing her to use the TV, but she wasn't surprised by anything anymore. Aladdin and Jasmine were real, so what? She'd seen worse. Henry, all excited by his discovery, continued to talk :

"I have no idea who you are, though." he stated to the man that hadn't said anything yet, standing behind Jasmine as if to protect her, his arms crossed over his chest.

He was a handsome man with dark skin, dark eyes and wavy hair falling over his shoulders. He was standing straight, and was looking strong and assured. You could count on him if you needed to, Emma guessed. She then wasn't surprised when Jasmine said with a shrug :

"It's Salim, our bodyguard and adviser."

"Okay, then." Emma almost immediately said, refusing to let herself get destabilized by this strange situation. "Whoever you're looking for, I'm sure we can help you. We know everyone in this town. But maybe we should go to the station to talk. It'll be more private, and we'll be able to protect ourselves from the rain" She added, running her hand through her wet hair and noticing their clothes, not really appropriate for the weather. "Are you okay with that? I can assure you it'll be quieter there."

Aladdin and Jasmine shared a brief look, and seemed to understand each other. The young woman then nodded to show she agreed with the offer, and started to walk to join Emma. She was definitely looking very confident, Emma thought, and was releasing a sort of strong aura, as if she was used to rule and get what she wanted. Not wanting to show her surprise, she gestured for them to get shelter into the car, wondering deep down who was this person they'd come to search here, in Storybrooke, so far away from their home.

* * *

Leaning against a wall of the station, Emma was carefully listening to her dad talking with the three new people. They were sitting at a table, David settled in front of them, trying to understand what they were doing in Storybrooke. They'd tried to make them feel comfortable, but she could tell at her dad's behavior, his hands on the table, sitting straight on his wooden seat, that he wasn't trusting them just yet. She was standing a bit back, quiet beside Henry, wondering what they'd come to seek in her town, but the subject hadn't been approached yet.

"So, if I understand correctly, you're coming from Agrabah, and you took a magical portal to come here, am I right? Do you have magical beans again? They're long gone in the Enchanted Forest."

"Please, I'm a princess." Jasmine said with a hint of arrogance in her voice, and Emma had to hold herself from answering she was a princess too, and she wasn't making such a fuss about it. "Of course we have magical beans, in case we would need it. And what's happening right now is an emergency."

"An emergency?" David repeated, frowning. "So you're not lost, right? You don't need us to try and send you back home?"

"No." Aladdin said, getting something out of his pocket and showing them, almost proudly, a magical bean glowing in the morning light. "We know how to get home. But we can't do that before finding the one we're searching for."

As Emma was about to intervene and finally ask them who was this mysterious person they were so desperate to find, her cellphone vibrated in the pocket of her jeans, announcing a text. She took the device and saw it was Killian trying to reach her, smiling and opening the text without waiting any longer. It was crazy that, after all these years, she was still so happy to hear from him, see him, touch him. She was so in love, even more after all they'd been through to stay together, and she pressed a hand on her stomach, feeling butterflies flying inside of it.

" _ **Hey, love, the kids are at Ashley's. I'm coming to join you right now. Are you still at the town line?"**_

She typed an answer right away, not wanting him to go to the forest for nothing : **"** _ **No, it was raining, so we went back to the station.**_ **"**

" _ **What's happening?"**_ he asked her not even a minute later.

" _ **New people coming from another world, they're searching for someone. We're trying to help them. You'll see by yourself, but the girl seems to have a temper.**_ _"_

" _ **Well, don't judge her too fast. You can have a temper too, you know."**_

She rolled her eyes, but smiled anyways. She knew he was only teasing her, he liked to annoy her sometimes, and she was always playing along with him. Because Killian Jones wasn't only her husband, he was also her best friend, and sometimes, when they were just the two of them, they could become worst than kids, teasing each other like that. She took only a few seconds to answer :

" _ **Shut up, Jones."**_

" _ **Careful, princess, because I've brought something so you could finish your breakfast, and if you continue like that, you won't have anything."**_

" _ **Well tried, but I've already eaten, thank you very much. Your plan is failing, captain."**_

" ** _You've taken advantage of the fact I wasn't there to eat junk food, admit it_** **."**

She arched an eyebrow in surprise. He was definitely knowing her way too well. An open book, he'd called her the first time they'd met each other. For him anyways, and he wasn't wrong, because he was knowing her better than anyone else. She was pretty proud to say she was feeling the same way about him : she knew him so well, and loved everything about him, his perfect little imperfections, the fact he always wanted to take care of her, to make sure she was okay, his romance, his bit old-fashioned way, his teasing to make her react. She couldn't have wished for a better husband, for a better dad for her kids. She was so happy with him, more than she could ever have imagined.

" _ **No"**_ She simply answered, and his text arrived only a few seconds later, showing that he was getting good with his phone, despite only having one hand.

" _ **I can tell when you're lying to me even by reading one of your text, Swan. For that, we will eat vegetables tonight."**_

" _ **Oh, no, please, I promise I'll be good."**_

She smiled waiting for his answer, knowing that he was going to play along and continue to talk to her like she was a petulant teenager.

" _ **D**_ ** _on't you dare discuss, young lady. I'm doing this for your own good_** **."**

"Emma? Emma, you still with us?"

She looked up to find her dad staring at her with an eyebrow raised, looking a bit annoyed at the fact she hadn't paid any attention to the conversation he was having with the new people whatsoever. He eyed her phone, knowing all too well who she was talking to, and rolled his eyes before turning back to the three people facing him. She winced, realizing she had completely forgotten what she was doing to talk with Killian, and whispered a sheepish "sorry" before sending one last text to her husband :

" _ **Ok, babe, duty call. Gotta go."**_

" _ **Sure, darling. I'll be there in a few minutes."**_

She smiled one last time at her screen, as if he could see her, and put her cellphone back in the pocket of her jeans. She then walked to the people in front of her, decided to finally take part in the conversation. Placing both her hands on the table, still standing up to take the position of control, she asked :

"Okay, all of this is really great and all, but all we wanna know for now is if we can actually help you. Maybe we know the person you are looking for."

"I doubt it. He's not... exactly like you." Aladdin hesitated, searching for the right words to describe his situation.

"What do you mean?" She encouraged him, feeling a bit impatient.

"It means that you are heroes. And he's a villain. You obviously don't work together, you could even be after this person for all we know." Jasmine said, looking very annoyed by all of these questions.

"A villain?" Emma repeated, crossing her arms and trying to stay calm as the young woman's way of talking to her was beginning to seriously bug her. She was the sheriff, for god's sake. She knew what she was doing. "All due respect, villains are getting rare in Storybrooke these days. And we know everyone here, it's a little town. We just want a name."

"It's true that we've heard he isn't as cruel as he used to be." Aladdin said with a focused frown. "Maybe you could know him."

"Why are you searching for a villain, anyways? I don't get it." David said, looking quite lost by these last statements.

"Because we have something to ask him, but it's none of your business." Jasmine added, looking at David, then Emma with anger shinning bright in her eyes.

"Look, we just want to help you!" Emma got mad, rolling her eyes once again and feeling like she was going to get sick of this conversation very quickly.

"Come on, just tell us." Her dad intervened, more calmly and glancing at his daughter to silently ask her to settle down, because getting mad was not going to help.

She suddenly heard the station's door opening, and understood that Killian was coming in their direction. She forced herself to calm down, knowing her dad was right, but didn't turn to greet her husband, focused on Aladdin, Salim and Jasmine who seemed to be intensely thinking. Finally, the young woman started to talk again, her chin up in defiance :

"Very well, we're searching for..."

She suddenly got quiet, and her eyes moved to stare at something happening behind Emma's back. Her lips parted, and she seemed deeply surprised, as if she'd seen a ghost of some sort. Intrigued, Emma followed her gaze and met the one, completely lost, of Killian, standing right behind her.

A surprised silence filled in the room for a while. Emma frowned, not understanding, and quietly interrogated Killian, but he didn't seem to see her. He was looking so confused, and was staring at Jasmine as if he was knowing her, what Emma couldn't understand. But she got her answers when the young woman finally shouted :

"Hook!"

And before Emma could do anything, Jasmine got off her chair and rushed to Killian, throwing herself in his arms and burying her face into the crook of his neck, in an intimate gesture that made her stomach twist.

* * *

 **all right, that's it for today! I have a few things to say concerning Jasmine and Aladdin arriving in Storybrooke : I had the idea of this fiction before seeing season 6, so I had no idea these characters would appear in the show as well. Their personnalities are therefore quite different from the characters we saw in Once Upon a Time, especially for Jasmine. As you could already read here, Jasmine has a bit of a temper, but I can assure you she's not a villain and she has a good reason to act that way. Everything is going to be explained later on! :)**

 **I hope you liked this chapter! Some angst is already going to appear in the next chapter, between Emma and Killian. Don't hesitate to leave a little comment to tell me what you've thought about this part, and see you next Saturday! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello guys! Thanks again a lot for all of your support! A special thanks to oncer4life11 and Stefh2345 for their reviews! I hope you will like this chapter, the tension is starting to grow big time between Emma and Killian!**

 **Enjoy! :)**

* * *

Jasmine was still holding Killian tight against her when Emma finally realized that all of this was real, and that she wasn't having a really, _really_ strange dream. Hook was standing there, a bit tensed, not hugging the young woman back as he was looking more than surprised. Emma couldn't understand anything anymore, and blinked several times to try and pull herself together. How the hell was this girl knowing Killian? Why was she looking so happy to see him? Worse, why had she thrown herself into his arms like they knew each other for ages? What the hell was going on in this room?

Finally, Hook noticed the glance she was throwing at him, and he almost gently pulled away from Jasmine, looking down at his boots as if he was embarrassed about something. Emma didn't fail to notice the hand he left for a second on his 'friend's shoulder, before reaching behind his ear, that had already turned a bright red, as always when he wasn't comfortable with something. A bit lost, Emma opened her mouth to ask something, anything that could explain her what the hell was happening, but Jasmine was faster than her. She started talking, placing a hand on Killian's stomach, and Emma's guts twisted in anger at this way too familiar touch.

"Finally, you're here!" The woman said with a huge smile enlightening her beautiful face.

"Huh?" Was the only thing Emma managed to say back, not knowing what to do.

"We need you, Hook!" Jasmine continued without paying any kind of attention to her, as if she had disappeared the moment Killian had walked into the room. "Please, help us. You've done such a good job last time, and this is an emergency..."

"Wait a minute, he was the one you were looking for?" Emma asked, starting to feel a bit dizzy, and grabbing the edge of the closest desk to try and stay on her feet.

The ground was spinning underneath her as she just couldn't understand. Killian had never once told her he knew Aladdin and Jasmine, and, quite obviously, they knew each other well. Very well, even, if she was trusting Jasmine's hand, that had gotten up to cup her husband's cheek. The twisted feeling of jealousy bit the inside of her stomach, as she was staring at Killian, who seemed completely speechless but wasn't trying to pull himself out of the girl's embrace.

"Wait, what are you doing with heroes?" Jasmine then asked, arching an eyebrow, and Emma suddenly seemed to wake up from her trance. The young woman felt a wave of pure anger taking control over her. This girl was way too confident, and way too familiar with her husband. And who did she think she was, for god's sake?

She almost choked on her words, too mad to care as she was saying. : "Seriously? Killian, how do you know these people?"

"Killian? She calls you Killian?" Jasmine continued, without seeming impressed by the threatening tone Emma had used to talk, and that drove her even angrier.

"If I call him Killian? He's my fucking husband, you..."

"Okay, everybody calm the hell down!" David intervened, getting up and putting his hands in front of him, as if to stop a starting fight.

Emma shut her mouth, that she'd opened to yell some insulting words to the woman facing her, and closed her eyes to try and calm herself down. She put both her forefingers against her temples, trying to stop the migraine she was beginning to feel blooming under her skull. There had to be an explanation, she thought, trying to stop her heart from racing in her chest. Killian wouldn't have hidden someone he knew that well from her. She wanted to trust him, he wouldn't betray her, she knew that. But it wasn't the only thing driving her that mad, she had to admit it to herself. If she was being honest, what was making cold shivers run up her spine was this feeling she had that they'd been intimate. Really intimate. And that made her stomach twist, as she was swallowing hard to try and keep her nausea at bay.

She forced herself to stay calm, and said in a steady tone : "Killian, do you know Jasmine?"

"Aye." He nodded, blushing even harder. "I know Salim too. Hi, mate."

Salim answered by a simple nod, not even bothering to smile. His arms folded on his muscular chest, leaning against his chair, he still hadn't said a damn thing. Emma was still feeling the terrible anger burning inside her guts, and took three steps toward Killian and Jasmine, trying to finally understand, because none of this was making any kind of sense to her. She'd thought Killian was telling her everything. How could he keep such a thing from her? Her husband glanced at her, sorry shinning bright in his blue eyes, and Jasmine stared at them with a focused frown, before letting her hand fall on her side, finally breaking contact with Killian's skin.

"Wait, are you two really married?"

"With three kids." Emma said with pride, her chin defiantly up, ready for a fight as this girl was really beginning to annoy her.

"You got married?" She said to Killian, seeming to find this entire situation almost funny, what made Emma's teeth clash inside her mouth. "You? The famous pirate?"

"Aye." Killian said again, with a little sight as if he was actually feeling very embarrassed by all of this sudden meeting. "But I'm not a pirate anymore. Most people here know me by my real name, Killian Jones."

"Are you telling me you're actually working with heroes now? And you have a family? With _her_?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Emma reacted, almost shouting. She took another step forward, fists clenched at her side, ready to fight this woman that was behaving like she was owning this entire town.

She was more than angry at this entire situation. This girl was pissing her off beyond words. She was coming in Storybrooke, in _her_ town, to ask for _her_ husband's help and behave as if Emma wasn't good enough for him? She was feeling about to explode and punch this woman in the face to show her who was in command here. But, at her greatest surprise, Killian grabbed her elbow and said, gently tugging her back :

"Swan, please don't."

"Excuse me?" Emma said with such a rage the words came out cold as ice, and Killian frowned, knowing all too well he'd made her really, really mad.

She couldn't believe this. He was supposed to be on _her_ side. He was supposed to support her on this. Why would he stop her from getting mad? And why wasn't he trying to defend her regarding Jasmine's behavior, as she was treating her like she was absolutely nothing? Not that Emma needed help, she could take care of herself, but she knew that, if everything had been normal, Killian would have gotten mad at the way Jasmine was talking to her. And she couldn't believe that he was actually trying to excuse her behavior, accepting it even, as if nothing was wrong.

"Emma." He continued in a gentle voice, trying to soothe her. "I know you're not going to like this, love, but could you give us a minute alone?"

"Are you fucking serious right now?" She shouted, so hard her voice almost broke on the last word.

"Swan, please don't get mad. It's important to me."

"It's important to you?" She repeated, freeing herself from his grip almost violently because feeling his touch while he was talking to her like that was driving her nuts. "Are you kidding me, _Hook_?" He startled. She never called him by his moniker anymore, and she couldn't remember doing it since Leia was born. The fact she was using this name was proving she was very, completely mad. "And you're not going to explain me how you know these people, what they want from you, nor why Jasmine is touching you like that?"

"Emma, stop." He said almost coldly, losing his gentle gaze to frown at her. "Don't do this. We'll talk about this later."

"Because you think I'm going to wait for you at home after this? Maybe I'm even going to cook something, and we'll calmly discuss this in front of a dinner and candles? Well, you've clearly married the wrong woman for that! Screw you!"

And, without waiting for an answer, she turned her back to him so he couldn't see the tears shinning deep inside her eyes, and rushed toward the front door, that she slammed behind her in a terrible din. She needed some fresh air. She could feel a vein palpitate on her temple, and her face was burning up with pure rage. How dared he? How dared he treat her that way? Him, the gentle, supportive man she loved, how could he behave like this? He was supposed to get mad at Jasmine for what she'd said, not yell at her! This woman had no right to talk to her like that, and he seemed to be finding this absolutely normal. And then he got mad at her because she was trying to defend herself? She was feeling humiliated, and it was making her heart pound so fast against her ribs she was feeling like it was going to explode. What the _fuck_ was wrong with Killian for him to behave like this?

She soon heard the front door of the station opening, and turned on her heels, expecting to find her dad or Henry, come to calm her down and assure her everything was going to be okay. But when she saw Killian approaching her, displaying an expression she couldn't decrypt, what made her even angrier because he was usually an open book to her, she took three steps back, lifting her hand up to stop him from reaching her.

"No." She said in a voice so cold it made him blink in surprise.

"Swan, look..."

"Leave me the fuck alone!" She screamed, not wanting to listen to what he had to say because, god helped her, when she was that mad, she had no idea what she was capable of doing to him. "You have no right to do this! You have no right to come here and tell me I've reacted too violently, you understand? Not when this woman I've never heard about, and who seems to like you _very_ much, comes here to humiliate me, and you do nothing, _nothing_ , to stop her. And when I try to defend myself, you decide to get mad and make me lose all credibility? Do you think this is normal? Do you think you can actually come here and talk to me after what you've done?"

She turned and headed for her yellow bug, not even bothering to look at him to see what her words had caused. She needed to get away from him, as quick as possible. If she stayed, she knew she would risk doing or saying something she would regret afterwards, and she didn't want to worsen things even more. It'd been a very long time since they'd fought so hard. But he decided otherwise : he grabbed her wrist and forced her to turn and look at him. He said in an assured voice, even if she could see at his shinning eyes that he was actually feeling bad about what had happened.

"You're absolutely right. I should never have talked to you like that, especially not in front of these people. And I'm sorry, I truly am, that's why I'm here, not to yell at you. To apologize. I want things to get better. But I need to talk to them, I need to know what they want from me. And it's between them and me, you have nothing to do in this mess."

"You want me to leave you alone with a woman who touches you like she owns you?" She snapped, still angry but, this time, not trying to get away from his grip because, and she hated to admit it but it was the truth, his familiar touch was actually managing to settle her down.

"Jasmine is nothing for me, Emma. Nothing, you understand? You're the one that I love. You're the one that I've chosen to marry, you're the one with whom I have a family. This is never going to change, love. I'm not going to leave you, ever, I promise. You just need to let me do this alone. You just need to trust me. Can you do this for me?"

It was a real question, she realized. He was actually asking for her opinion, and she felt her anger going away as fast as it'd invaded her veins. It was okay to be angry after what he'd done, but he was also right, she needed to trust him. She had to let him do this by himself. He would talk to her about it later, he was always telling her everything, right? He was not going to betray her, never. She knew it.

So she looked up at him to meet his beautiful, soothing blue eyes, and gave him a sharp nod to show him that, if she wasn't going to forgive him that easily, she was agreeing with him. He smiled at her, a gentle and relieved grin that made her sight, and kissed her forehead, saying against her skin :

"Thank you so much, sweetheart. I love you."

She didn't say anything back, a kind of personal revenge to show him that what he'd done wasn't going to get erased that easily. He accepted her silence, knowing that pushing her was only going to make things worse, and after one last gaze in her direction, he let go of her and walked to go back inside the station.

She stared at the closed door for a few minutes, completely lost, not knowing what to do nor think anymore. She was so mad and she wasn't regretting yelling like that, because he'd deserved it, but she also knew he was right. She had to put her trust in him, he loved her, so much, she couldn't doubt that. So why did she still have that twisted feeling in her bones that something bad was about to happen?

Only a minute later, her dad and Henry appeared beside her, looking at her with worried frowns. She could see that David's cheeks were reddened, probably because he'd gotten mad at Killian. Somehow, this sight made her feel better. He put a hand in her hair and said in a concerned tone :

"You okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry. Sorry I got mad like that." She said in a somewhat muffled voice. "I just... I think I just need to be alone for a while."

"We get it." Henry said, looking quite worried by all of this and she forced herself to smile to reassure her son. "It's okay, go."

She nodded as a quiet thank you and turned to go join her bug, all sorts of strong and conflicting thoughts pressing against her chest and making her sick.

* * *

She drove for hours across the town, all windows open, hoping the wind would help her clear up her mind and make her feel better. Because despite her deep desire to believe and trust Killian – he would not lie to her, she knew it, she was trying to convince herself of it anyways – she was scared that something bigger was happening behind this single event. Something was off, she could feel it. He'd never talked to her about Jasmine before, and it had to mean something. What part of his past was he hiding from her?

When she'd finally calmed down enough, she drove to Ashley's to go get her kids sooner than expected and spend an afternoon with them in the park. In their company, hearing their laughter and seeing their big smiles, she managed to get a bit of her good mood back, and decided that she was going to trust Killian. She didn't have to be scared, he loved her. Everything was going to be just fine. It's then completely reassured that she got back home as the sun had set into the sky, Leia and Liam babbling on the backseat of her car. The light was on in the kitchen, and when she approached Killian, Leia in her arms and Liam skipping at her side, she noticed he'd made dinner for them.

"Hey..." He said with a frown, his voice wavering as she was leaning to put Leia in her baby chair.

She understood he didn't want to make her even angrier by saying something he shouldn't, probably thinking she was still mad. Now, she could see that she'd acted a bit too violently. Not that he hadn't deserved it, she'd had the perfect right to get mad at him. But yelling was not a solution, she could see it now. Especially because Jasmine, Aladdin and Salim were probably wondering what had gotten into her since, as the sheriff, she was supposed to keep calm no matter the situation. She then smiled at him, trying to be as gentle as possible, and approached him to press a quick peck on his lips.

"Hey." She said softly.

He smiled back, and wrapped his left arm around her waist, his hand cupping the back of her head as she was shuffling closer. He kissed her then, for the second time, and she couldn't help but moan against his lips as the kiss was becoming more demanding. This was showing her he wasn't mad either, and when they finally parted, his forehead resting against her own for a few short seconds, she smiled again, running her tongue over her kiss swollen lips. Relieved, she looked up and offered him a glance to silently ask him to talk about all of this later, when the kids would be in bed. He nodded, understanding her without needing words, and kissed her forehead, looking deeply happy to see that everything was back to normal between them. He then walked away to go kiss Leia's head, as Liam was enthusiastically asking :

"What are we eating today?"

"Chicken and vegetables." Killian answered, arching an eyebrow at Emma.

"Eww." Liam said, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "Why vegetables?"

"Because Mommy ate things she shouldn't have this morning, and she has to stay healthy." He answered as a joke, as she was rolling her eyes, falsely annoyed.

"Mommy!" Liam said almost severely.

She couldn't help herself but laugh at her son's reaction, and sat down next to him at the table, so relieved to see that things were okay between her and Killian and he wasn't mad either because of her previous tantrum.

* * *

"So..." She started with a little sight.

"So, maybe we should talk." He answered with half a smile.

"Maybe we should, yeah."

In the dark surrounding them, she could see his eyes shinning as she was looking at him, both laying on their sides to face each other. The kids were sleeping now, and the house was quiet. She'd waited for this moment the entire night. Talking about her feelings had never been her strong suit, sure, but now that they weren't mad anymore, she was eager to learn what he had to say. Because she wanted to know, to understand, she wanted to make this little voice yelling at the back of her head that something bad was about to happen, finally go away. She took a deep breath and started to talk again, searching his gaze in the dark.

"Okay, then. First, I wanted to apologize for, you know, yelling like that. I had the right to be mad, but not to do this kind of thing in public. I'm sorry"

"I'm the one who's sorry, Swan." He said, reaching to place his hand on her side and gently caressing her skin through the camisole she was wearing to sleep. "I should have defended you, because the way Jasmine's talked to you was beyond wrong. But, and I'm not trying to search for excuses here, because I was absolutly wrong, I was just too surprised to react. But I should always have your back, and I didn't this time. I apologize for that."

"It's okay, we're even." She said with a slight smile, happy to hear him apologize for his upsetting behavior. "Now, can you tell me what happened?"

"We talked." He said with a little sight, taking his hand off her and placing it underneath his cheek, and she felt suddenly cold and naked without his touch. "They made me an offer, that I refused. But they decided to stay for a while in town in case I would change my mind, stubborn that they are. I told them that would not happen, ever, but they didn't want to listen to me."

"And what was that offer?" She asked, curious to finally know.

She wanted to know more. She was hoping to finally understand the nature of this bound that her husband and Jasmine were sharing. So she eagerly looked at him, but she felt her heart drop when he looked down at the sheet and shrugged, avoiding her gaze :

"It's a bit of a long story. It's about my past."

"I guessed that." She insisted, not getting why he didn't want to tell her what was going on. "But please tell me. We have time, haven't we? And I'd like to understand."

"Swan, it's nothing important. I don't want to go back to these days."

Her lips parted in surprise. She hadn't expected that, at all. She didn't get it, why wouldn't he want to share his past with her? She'd shown him before that he was a hero now, and that what he'd done in the past didn't have any kind of importance in her eyes, because she loved him. And he knew everything about her. Every wound, every fear, every tear. What was he ashamed of? And why was he saying that it wasn't important while it obviously was to him?

"You don't wanna talk to me?" She asked in a shaky voice, completely lost.

"It's a part of my past I'm not proud of, Emma."

"But... You can tell me anything. You know that. You trust me, right? Tell me you trust me." She almost begged, feeling the panic rushing over her at the thought this man she was loving so much wasn't trusting her at all.

Because to her, it was the only explanation. They were supposed to tell each other everything. They were married, they had kids, they were a family. He knew she wasn't going to run away anymore, no matter what he'd done. They were supposed to lean on each other when they had a problem, that was how things worked. So, the only reason why he didn't want to tell her what was weighting in his mind was because he wasn't trusting her. But what had she done to deserve this, she thought? What had she done for him to be so scared of her reaction? She had always shown him he was safe with her, at least she thought she had. She felt her heart aching as her eyes were filling with tears.

"Come on, Swan." He told her in a low voice. "You know I trust you. More than anyone."

"So why don't you want to tell me?!" She said, almost yelling, sobs in her voice as she felt herself about to start panicking.

"Because you can hide behind your bloody walls when you feel scared, but I can't even have a secret?"

His words snapped into the now quiet room. For one of the first time in their relationship, the silence was heavy between them, the air thick with anger. Emma felt her tears disappear, and her teeth clashed inside her mouth, as a fire was lightening up in her stomach. He was supposed to comfort her. He was supposed to tell her he loved her, take her into his arms and kiss her forehead as an apology for his behavior. But he had yelled. And he had said those completely wrong, unfair words that were now ringing in the back of her head, stabbing her mind like hundreds of painful needles. It wasn't true. She had brought those walls down, those same walls that were supposed to protect her from any harm. And she'd done it for him. Now, she was forcing herself to fight against her instinct, she was facing her fears every time instead of running, because he'd gained her trust and shown her she was going to be okay. She'd changed so much, for the best, and he had no damn right to say this after all she'd been through to get where she was now.

She was feeling sick to her stomach, now. She forced herself not to start yelling at him and tell him all these hurtful words that were about to get out of her mouth and hurt him as he'd hurt her. But she knew him, she knew that the best way to show him how mad she was, was to ignore him. She then said dryly :

"Okay, then."

And she rolled on her side to turn her back to him. She was shaking from the anger, she was feeling so, so cold, as if he'd attacked her heart. Feeling too vulnerable, she curled up under the sheets, arms wrapped around herself and legs bent over her chest, as if she was trying to protect herself from a danger. She realized that she'd never thought she would actually one day try to escape her husband like that.

But she immediately felt two strong arms wrapping around her from behind, pulling her close as she was now glued to Killian's chest. He spread his fingers wide on her stomach, as if trying to keep her close. He buried his nose in her hair, breathing her in, and said to her ear with tears in his voice :

"I'm so sorry, darling. It's not what I meant. It was so unfair, I never wanted to hurt you. Forgive me."

But she had no desire to forgive him whatsoever. He had crossed an invisible line, and she was feeling so mad at him. So she freed herself from his embrace, almost violently because feeling him close to her in such a moment was unbearable. She got off the bed without saying a word, and walked to the door with somewhat shaky steps.

"Emma, please wait!" He begged, getting up as well to try and hold her back, but she lifted her hand up to prevent him from coming any closer, not even bothering to look at him.

"No." She said coldly. "Leave me alone."

She looked at him just long enough to see the hurt in his eyes. Standing a few feet away from her, he looked down at the ground, understanding he better listened to her on that matter. She turned and quickly walked down the stairs, feeling the need to get away from him as fast as possible. She sighted deeply, and her first thought was to go and make herself some hot cocoa with cinnamon. She wanted to keep her emotion at bay, she didn't want to feel anything, not now, it was too much. She couldn't believe she'd actually woken up in a good mood that same morning. It was seeming so far away, everything had changed so fast. In a day, she'd discovered that the man she was sharing her life with had a past with some people she knew nothing about. And they'd made him an offer he wouldn't tell her anything about, because he wasn't trusting her enough, despite what he'd said. It was just words, after all, it didn't mean anything. And he'd said those things, those horrible things that were now burning inside of her, knowing all too well it was going to hurt her. She couldn't recognize him anymore. She couldn't recognize them. They were so in love only a few hours before, what the hell had gone wrong?

She walked to the living room, her mug in her hands. Aware that she wasn't going to be able to fall asleep, both because she was feeling too mad and because she was now so used to Killian's arms around her she was feeling naked when he wasn't beside her to sleep, she turned the TV on to try and think about something else, anything as long as it wasn't her husband, alone in their bed upstairs.

But it didn't work. Deep down, she knew that, somehow, this day had changed everything between them. And she could feel in her bones that this terrible situation was far from being over.

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 **Here we go! I can't wait to know what you've thought about this part! See you next saturday! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello guys! Here's the new chapter! A special thanks, as always, to oncer4life11, Stefh2345, Grace and Guest for the reviews!**

 **I just wanted to say something quite important to me : Guys, I'm really sorry if you find in one way or another that Emma is OOC in this fiction. The thing is, since Emma is a fictional character and I'm not the one who created her, we probably all see her in different ways. The way I write her seems perfectly logical to me, and I'm sorry if it doesn't for some of you. But I have something to say concerning this : I accept criticims, I actually love to receive some, because I would not have been where I am right now in my life if I hadn't listened to what people told me to help me get better in what I do. I just wanna learn. But please, if you have something to say, say it nicely? I put a lot of work in this, and it's always cool to stay nice, even if you don't like what I do. Let's all be kind to each other, shall we? :)**

 **After this, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter! Love you guys, and thanks for all the support! :)**

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Emma hardy woke up from the restless sleep she was in. She'd turned over and over again during the night, awakening every few minutes, and finally falling as the sun was beginning to rise in the sky. She needed a few minutes to realize where she was, wondering why she wasn't in her bed, and finally understood she'd fallen asleep while watching TV. She looked up at the screen while rubbing her sleep swollen eyes, and frowned when she realized it was turned off. Looking back down, she noticed she was now wrapped in a thick blanket, the one she would use when she was sick and wanted to protect herself from the cold. She didn't remember taking it herself, and knew it was Killian who'd probably put it around her. Seeing her asleep like that, maybe he'd been scared she would get cold. Glancing at the clock above the fireplace, she saw that it was already more than ten in the morning. She started to listen carefully to the noises of the house, surprised to realize she wasn't hearing her kids talking as the place was completely, utterly silent. She ran her fingers through her tangled hair, and finally met the note laying on the coffee table, the paper covered with Killian's neat handwriting.

She sat down and crossed her legs, the blanket still around her, letting go of a little sight. Oddly enough, she wasn't mad at all anymore. Her rage seemed to have disappeared during the night to allow this huge sadness to take its place. She hated it when Killian and her were mad at each other. They fought sometimes, but never that violently, and it was usually for stupid little things. They would always make up with a kiss, a hug, and more if the kids weren't at home. But this time, things were way worst. She was feeling like every time she was truly happy, something was coming to ruin everything. And she was wondering why things seemed to always turn wrong for her.

She took the piece of paper in her hand to read what was written on it. She was surprised to notice her fingers were shaking a little, as if she was scared to know what her husband wanted to say to her. Now that she was looking more carefully at Killian's handwriting, she noticed that, instead of being all straight and precise, it was a bit twisted, a bit shaky. She guessed that he'd been a bit shaken by their fight the night prior as well. She also guessed, reading his words, that he was hating himself for what'd happened between them.

 _Hey, baby_

 _Look, I am so, deeply sorry for what occurred last night. I should never have talked to you like that. I barely slept, I feel so bad. I didn't want to hurt you, and what I said was so unfair. We need to talk about this, I want to redeem myself. I'm sorry you felt too betrayed to join me in bed during the night. I want things to get better between us. I love you so much, sweetheart, and seeing you aching is the worst, especially now that this is my fault. I'm supposed to be the one to support you, and I hurt you instead. I am so stupid._

 _I went to go fetch Neal at your parents' place, he was supposed to come and play with Liam here, do you remember? Then, we'll be able to talk. I want things to be just the way they were before. I hope you can forgive me._

 _I made pancakes and coffee, everything is awaiting for you in the kitchen. I hope it will make you feel a bit better._

 _Again, I apologize, Emma. I love you so much. You're my everything_

 _Killian._

This little note touched her soul, and made her want to cry. If he'd bothered writing her this, and if he'd cooked her her favorite breakfast, it was that he was feeling truly guilty. And she wanted to get him back too, she wanted to hug him tight and never let him go, but she also didn't know if she was ready to talk with him about what'd happened. She was still too hurt, and was scared to tell him things she would regret later if they were having this conversation right now. She didn't want to worsen things even more. With an impatient flick of her hand, she wiped off a tear that was rolling down her cheek, and took a deep breath to give herself some strength. Then she got up, putting the blanket back on the couch, and decided to go enjoy this breakfast he'd prepared for her, hoping that eating would manage to maker her feel just a little bit better.

She shuffled to the kitchen. The floor was cold under her bare feet, and sent a shiver up her spine. The house was too silent without Killian and her kids in it, and she suddenly felt oppressed and alone. She wasn't even that hungry, actually, it was usual with her. As soon as she was feeling sad, angry or nervous, her stomach was becoming a bunch of knots, and she was finding herself unable to eat anything without getting sick. She still poured herself a huge mug of coffee, and as she was taking the first sip out of the hot cup, she heard the front door opening. She tensed, feeling her breath getting stuck into her throat, thinking that it was Killian coming back with the kids. She really didn't think she was ready to face him, not yet anyways, and her heart was pounding so hard she was feeling like it could be heard into the entire house. But she sighted in relief when she heard a "Mom, I'm home!", and suddenly remembered that Henry was coming that day to spend the week at her place. After the last disturbing events, she'd forgotten for a while he was supposed to be there. Not wanting to worry him, she forced herself to smile, and said in a bit too cheerful tone :

"In the kitchen, kid!"

Her son arrived only a few seconds later. She still had her hands wrapped around the mug, almost hoping the heat would help her feel better. But if she was sure of one thing, it was that she wanted to look okay for Henry, so she just continued to smile at him. He was carrying a backpack on his shoulders, and briefly pulled her into a tight embrace.

"How are you?" She said to his ear, before he pulled away from her, as if to look at her more carefully.

"Fine. What about you, Mom?" He asked with a worried frown. "Are you feeling better than yesterday?"

"I'm all right." She shrugged with a wink, but he didn't seem convinced at all by her lie.

"You don't look all right. You seem tired. You sure you okay?"

"Thanks a lot, Henry. You always know what to say to make me feel better." She joked to erase his concerned look. "I'm more than fine. You don't have to worry about me."

"Yeah, right." He said, looking a bit skeptic, but not insisting as he was probably getting she didn't want to talk about her feelings right now, and she felt so grateful for her son's thoughtfulness. "I'm just going to put my back upstairs, and then I'm gone. I have a date with Violet, I have to meet her in a few minutes. Killian's not here?" He said, looking all around the kitchen and seeming a bit surprised by this new observation.

"He's at your Grandparents', Neal's supposed to come home today." She said with a little shrug, not wanting to linger on that subject. "So, you have a date?" She continued with a teasing smile.

"Are you planning on making this face every time I see Violet?" He mumbled, rolling his eyes in a falsely annoyed look, as she knew he was playing along and messing with her. "We're supposed to take a walk into the park for a little while."

"That's a good thing." She answered with a tenderized smile at how much her son had grown, before telling him, gesturing to the kitchen counter. "There is pancakes and coffee, if you want some."

"Awesome!" He said, approaching the breakfast and taking one of the pancake. "I have to hurry, though, Mom. I can't be late."

"You're right." She winked at him. "It's bad form to make a girl wait."

She didn't even realize she'd just used one of Killian's famous quote, the one he was using when he wanted to gently tease Henry. Her son smiled back at her, before turning to run up the staircase, leaving her alone with her thoughts for a while. She was still feeling lost, but somehow, the light conversation she'd just had with her son had made her feel just a little bit better. Henry rushed back down the stairs only a few minutes later. He entered the hall right when the front door opened for the second time. Emma immediately heard the overexcited cries of the kids, happy to see their big brother back, and Henry talked to them for a few minutes before saying cheerfully :

"See you later, Mom!"

"Have fun!" She answered, trying to sound good while she was feeling like a storm was raging inside her chest.

She put her now empty coffee cup in the sink and took a deep breath, gluing a fake smile on her face so the kids wouldn't think she was feeling bad. She just didn't want them to be caught in these adult stuffs. She still didn't know how to react with Killian, but she was hoping her acting skills would do the trick. And despite her strong desire to walk into her room, lock herself inside and pretend to be asleep, she'd announced that she was awake by answering to Henry. She couldn't hide or back down anymore.

She then headed for the living room to discover Liam, Leia and Neal, already playing together on the ground. They all turned when they saw her coming in, and the three of them ran to her for a good morning hug.

"Why were you still sleeping this morning?" Liam asked with a suspicious frown, staying a little bit longer than the others in her arms to talk to her. "You sick?"

"I'm not sick, sweetheart, don't worry." She smiled, not looking up to avoid Killian's stare that she was feeling burning on her skin, and focusing on her son's face, who was still looking at her to make sure she was actually okay. "I just had a bit of a headache. But I'm all better now."

She didn't want to look bad in front of her baby boy, and she knew she wouldn't be able to hide her feelings if she looked at Killian. She preferred to stay out of this right now, talking to her son and making sure he was comforted instead. It's Neal who started to talk again, staring at her as well, standing a few steps from her :

"Is that why you're still on your pajamas, Emma?"

"Yes, sweetie." She gently answered. "I overslept to get better."

He smiled back at her, looking reassured. Her brother was a smart little boy. He was now six, and was the spitting image of David. He had the same blond hair, the same smile, and the same blue eyes. He was also a bit unruly, it was the least we could say. He liked to experience now things, without paying attention to the consequences, and was then driving his parents nuts sometimes. He also liked to drag his nephew into his mischiefs, and that was actually the only times Liam was becoming a bit difficult. Neal was curious about everything, he asked thousands of questions all the time, and at the end of the day, he wasn't a difficult child : he just wanted to try everything, to understand the world around him. But she knew her parents were thanking the gods every day for him not having magic, because if it'd been the case, he could have done a lot of damage in town.

Emma ended up standing up, and looked at the kids walking away again to go back to their games. She was happy to see that they weren't worried about anything, while she could actually feel the tension crackling between Killian and her, replacing the usual attraction. She still didn't dare to look at him in the eyes, looking down at the ground instead. He finally started to talk again, in a low and shaky voice, as if he was afraid to scare her away :

"Hey..."

"I'm going to get dressed." She stuttered right away, before turning to almost run into her room.

She found herself wanting to bang her head against the wall. She didn't know why she had this damn need to escape from her own husband. She was living with him for years, hell, she loved him, she was safe with him. And she needed to face this situation sooner or later, she needed to talk with him because it was obvious he was feeling bad. But the truth was that, deep down, she was feeling too betrayed. He hadn't trusted her. And this fear of being left alone again, the one that'd terrified her for so long because she'd lived so many horrible things in her life, it was coming back and it was horrifying. She didn't want to make things worse and she didn't know what to say to him. She didn't feel able to listen to his excuses without getting mad at the same time. And she didn't want to yell again. She just wanted for things to get better, just as it was before.

So she took her time to get dressed, brush her teeth, tie her hair up in a ponytail. She was trying to settle herself down as much as possible to listen to what Killian had to say. She loved him. She wanted to forgive him. She was able to have a conversation with him. She wasn't a little girl anymore, she needed to face her responsibilities. She was refusing to run away again.

It's only half an hour later that she finally walked back down the stairs to join the living room, decided to talk with Killian. He was watching the kids, sitting on the sofa, and was nervously chewing on his bottom lip, looking horribly worried. But he knew going after her when she was like this wasn't going to help : she needed to take the first step, and he was aware of it. He knew her so well. When he heard her, he literally jumped off the couch, and, for the first time since she woke up, Emma met his gaze. His eyes were shinning with concern and unshed tears. He was feeling so bad, it was obvious. She tried to smile at him to show him she was ready to talk and make up, but her grin was more of a grimace than an actual smile. She sighted, giving up on the idea of pretending she wasn't saddened by his words and this entire situation. She then shook her head to try and clear up her mind, and gestured for him to come with her into the kitchen, so the kids wouldn't hear their conversation.

She stopped beside the table, putting her hands on the surface to steady herself. He stood on the other side, understanding approaching her wasn't the good way to reach her while she was feeling like that. He placed a hand behind his ear, the tip of it bright red as he was looking quite embarrassed. An awkward, heavy silence filled in the room for a few seconds, and she felt a shiver of discomfort running down her spine. Finally, he started talking, probably wanting to break this horrible, unusual quiet between them.

"Have you eaten?"

"No." She answered in a cold tone, while she'd just wanted to be warm and welcoming, but it seemed to hard at the moment. "I wasn't hungry."

He winced, aware of what it meant. He knew her love for food, and he knew that if she wasn't hungry, it was that she was feeling really bad about what he'd said. He then started again in a very gentle voice, trying not to scare her off by saying something he shouldn't :

"Listen, Swan, I am so, so sorry. I don't even know what to say. I've been horrible last night, and I just hope you can forgive me."

She opened her mouth to answer. She was about to admit that his words the night prior had hurt her so deeply, because she was making efforts, she really was. She was fighting against herself all the time so she wouldn't put that armor back on when she wasn't okay. She'd learned to go to the people she loved, to stop hiding and running away because they'd shown her she could trust them. And she wanted to tell him how his own lack of trust in her had made her feel like he was letting her down, like everyone had done before him. Because she was trusting him so damn much, but it was obviously not the case for him. But she got interrupted by a "Mommy!" yelled by Liam in a high-pitched voice, and she cursed under her breath, frustrated beyond words :

 _Fuck_

What had gotten into her to leave the kids alone in the living room like that? She knew what they were capable of when they weren't being watched by an adult. She rushed to the room to find a scene that made her sight deeply. Neal and Liam, holding plastic swords in their hands, had tied Leia up with cords they had found god knows where, and were pretending to be about to kill her by making her walk the plank. Seeing her coming into the room, her youngest son yelled :

"Mommy! Say to Neal that _I'm_ the Captain!"

"And why would you be the Captain?" Her baby brother said with anger in his voice. "I'm the oldest one. You have to listen to me!"

"No, I don't!" Liam answered with a furious frown. "My Daddy is a Captain, so I'm the boss of the game!"

"Okay, everybody calm down!" Emma said, sighting for what seemed like the thousandth time in a few minutes and kneeling to face them both, putting her hands on their shoulders to soothe them and avoid an argument. "You can both be Captains. But Liam, how many times do I have to tell you you cannot tie your sister up like that?"

"But we need to have a hostage for the story!" He said as if it was absolutely obvious.

Emma shook her head, and took Leia in her arms to try and free the little girl from her ties. But for a reason she couldn't understand, even if she'd expected that to happen given her daughter's stubbornness, the toddler started to wriggle against her to free herself from her embrace, and said with a threatening frown :

"But I wanna play!"

"Leia, please don't."

The little girl gave her mother her most threatening expression, jaw clenched, brows together, blue eyes darkened by the tantrum she was about to throw their way. Emma didn't feel good enough to face this once again, and looked up at Killian, who was holding a bit back, to say :

"Can you take her? She doesn't want to listen to me."

He answered her request in less than a second, taking Leia from her arms to kiss her forehead, what calmed the little girl down in an instant. Emma let go of a little groan of frustration, wondering why she wasn't managing to reach her own daughter, and asking herself what the hell was wrong with her, because, after all, everything seemed wrong lately, so it had to be her fault. But she quite quickly chased these thoughts away from her mind - she didn't need this to make her feel even worse, really - and turned back to look at her son and brother, saying severely :

"Liam, I'm being serious here. Next time you do something like this to your sister, you'll be punished."

"But Mommy!" He protested with a pout. "We need a princess to capture for our games! It doesn't work if we don't have a hostage!"

"Well, in that case, maybe I could play the princess, what do you think?" Emma kindly offered.

"Mommy, no!" He said with an amused giggle. "You're married to Daddy, so you're both the big Captains! You can't play the hostage at the same time, that doesn't make sense!"

She had a small smile, amused by her son's statement, and opened her mouth to answer him, but she suddenly heard the front door slamming almost violently, making everyone startle in the room. Intrigued, she stood up to see Henry running into the hallway and getting up the stairs with a terrible din. He was looking mad. Really mad, and he needed a lot to get angry, usually. Completely desperate, Emma took her head in her hands, wondering why everything was suddenly turning wrong in her life, while everything was so good barely a day before.

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 **Okay, here we go for today! The big talk between Emma and Killian is going to be in the next chapter! I hope you liked this part, and don't hesitate to tell me what you think about it! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, guys! Thanks a lot to oncer4life11, over 30 guest and Alexa for the reviews!**

 **I just wanted to add some information about this story, that I've forgotten to tell you before. As I've started to write this story before seeing season 6, I had no idea that Killian had actually killed David's father in the show. Here, this storyline has therefore never happened. Killian's past with Jasmine is actually not that surprising, given his years as a pirate. What happens here is that his past just comes back to him all at once while he was happy, and he's ashamed, because he just wants Emma and his kids to be proud of him. So don't worry, he did nothing 'worse' than killing Emma's grandfather, he's just scared to tell about it. :) You'll learn everything about what he's done toward the end of the story!**

 **the discussion between Emma and Killian finally happens in this chapter! The story about the secret and Emma being jealous is gonna linger trough the entire story, because Emma is scared because of her past and everyone leaving her before Killian. But don't worry, she's having a hard time, but she'll come around eventually :)**

 **anyways, I hope you'll like this chapter, guys! :)**

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Emma stayed there for a long time, her face in her hands, wondering why everything seemed to go wrong all at the same time in her life while everything had been perfect a few days ago. Then she finally looked up, aware that she had to go and talk to her son about what'd happened for him to react that way. He wasn't getting mad often, he was always so calm and understanding, and this outburst was hiding something big, she could feel it in her bones. Something important had happened. And she could guess it had something to do with Violet, since he'd come back from their date quite early after all. She glanced at Killian, who was looking at her with a worried frown etched on his face. She could see in his eyes that he knew it was too much to take for her all at once, and he was looking like he had no idea what to do to make things better. He would usually have taken her in his arms, kissed her temple and whispered that it was okay, that it was going to get better, but he was also too scared to make her run away again by doing that. And he was right, she had to admit it. She would probably have pushed him away, still too hurt by his words the day before, even if deep down, she wanted his strong arms more than anything. So she shook her head, got up, and murmured a "I'm going" in such a low voice she doubted he'd heard her, and she walked up the stairs with the feeling all her strengths were gone. She could have laid down in bed and stayed there for weeks if she'd had the opportunity to do so.

She knocked three times against the wood of her son's door, and, not receiving any answer back, she decided to open it and peer inside the room to make sure everything was okay. Henry was sitting on his bed, facing his television, his gamepad in his hands. He was playing at one of his video games, hitting the buttons as if it'd done something to him. Emma opened her mouth to ask something, but he interrupted her to say in a cold tone :

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Okay." She said, refusing to give up on him and closing the door behind her back. "I'm fine with that. Do you mind if I play with you, though?"

It was her own way of reaching him when he was too mad to talk to her. They would both sit on his bed, and they would play for a little while, usually without saying anything. And, after some time, he would always admit what was weighing in his mind, as she was comforting him or giving him the advice he was asking for. And today, she had to admit it, Emma was quite happy to be given the opportunity to play some games with her son. She needed to unwind as well.

He seemed to hesitate for a second, then he shrugged, and she took the vague gesture as an invitation. She completely entered the room before sitting down on Henry's bed and taking the other gamepad he was owning between her hands. She'd gotten pretty good at video games through the years, and they would always have a good time playing together. He was playing a war game, in which they had to kill enemies by shooting them, and they worked in team, what allowed them to beat every records. She'd maybe felt him tensed and closed off when she'd arrived, but he got his smile back during their game, even laughing once or twice. She had to admit she was enjoying this as well, bursting out laughing at some of their mistakes, and giving high-fives to her son each time they would do something good together. When the game was over, Henry put the gamepad next to him on the bed and turned to his mom with a little smile, saying :

"Thank you so much, mom."

"I'm here for that, kid." She answered with a kind wink. "You still don't wanna talk about it?"

He let go of a long, deep sight, and moved to lean against the wall and face her completely. She did the same, sitting cross-legged on the mattress, playing with the edge of the sheets in her hands. There was a few seconds of quiet as he was picking up his thoughts, and she waited patiently, knowing it wasn't an easy thing to talk about feelings. Then he started to speak again :

"It's Violet."

"Did you two fight?" She asked softly, her head titled to its side to show him she was listening carefully.

"Yeah. It was for a stupid thing. We weren't agreeing on something, and it got really bad to the point where we started yelling at each other. It never happened before. We left each other mad. I don't even know why I got angry at her like that." He admitted with another sight. "I love her, you know. It's just..."

"Yeah?" She encouraged him, seeing he was looking for the right words to tell her his feelings.

"It's a bit complicated to be in a relationship in this family, that's all."

She frowned, more than intrigued, and a bit worried by this statement. "I'm not sure I understand. Do you mean we're not giving you enough space to pursue a real relationship with a girl? Are we too oppressive with you? Because if this is the case, I'm sorry, Henry. It's going to change, I promise."

"No, it's not that." He said, shaking his head. "You all trust me enough to let me do what I want, and I'm thankful for that. It's just... Love is so powerful between all of you, Mom. You and Killian, my mom and Robin, Grandma and Grandpa... Your relationships are all absolutely perfect, you could go through any storm together and love each other even more at the end of the day. And it's a lot of pressure, because I feel like you expect me to have the same kind of relationship with Violet..."

Emma's lips parted in surprise, touched by his words. She had never, ever imagined her son was feeling that way. She could see that he was looking very down because of this entire situation, and she wanted to comfort him more than anything. She wanted him to understand that, sometimes, fights were happening. And it was okay. Her relationship with Killian was far from being perfect, they were even in the middle of a fight right now. He needed to realize that, he needed to know that his family wasn't expecting anything from his relationship with Violet, that they were just happy to see he was getting along with the girl pretty well.

"Henry." She started in a gentle, calm voice. "We're not expecting anything from you, we just want you to be happy. You're 18, kid. You're still so young, you have your entire life in front of you. And your relationship with Violet is powerful, it's obvious. And I can't talk for Regina, Robin or my parents, but my relationship with Killian isn't perfect at all. We make mistakes, we face hard stuffs. We just try to get through them together. Loving someone doesn't mean you don't ever fight with them, it means you will always try to work things out, because your feelings are too powerful to be ruined by a simple argument."

"It's not how you look from the outside." He said with a slight smile dancing on his lips. "You and Killian always seem so close. I'm not going to lie to you, I was surprised to see you fight yesterday. It was the first time I was actually seeing you yell at each other like that."

"Well, it's because we usually wait to be alone to do that." She answered, half-teasing, half-serious, because it was true. They were making a point to never fight in front of the kids, and they would always wait to be just the two of them to actually start screaming at each other, even if their fights never lasted for long. "And if I'm being completely honest with you, it's far from being perfect between us right now."

"Seriously?" He asked, surprised and a bit concerned. "Is that why you seemed a bit off this morning? What happened?" he asked after she'd nodded to show him that his assumption was correct.

"He said things that weren't very nice to me yesterday. And it hurt me. I'm mad at him. But I'm going to forgive him anyways, because it's not that bad. We're going to make it, together. We always do."

Oddly enough, her own words managed to make her feel a bit better. It was true, she was realizing it. It wasn't really bad, after all. She was hurt, but things would get better eventually. Soon, everything would be just the way they were before. Killian was the love of her life, he was the one who was making her happy every day, the one she'd chosen to marry and to spend her life with. She wasn't going to let a little disagreement ruin everything they'd built together.

Henry seemed to intensely think about her last words. She looked at him for a few seconds, once again impressed by how much he'd grown. She could still remember his 10-year-old self knocking at her door in Boston to tell her a family she knew nothing about needed her. She smiled at him, feeling a wave of pride inside of her chest, and said, putting her hand over his to stress her words :

"You want things to get better between you and Violet, right?"

"Of course." He said with a somewhat sad smile.

"Then call her. Try to plan another date, today if you can. Talk about your feelings without yelling, try to understand each other. What you both have is too important to get ruined by a little fight."

He nodded, and finally offered her a real smile that reached his eyes. He leaned forward to pull her into a hug, and she affectionately rubbed his back as he was saying :

"Thanks, mom. Promise me you'll try to make things better with Killian as well, okay?"

"I promise." She smiled, pulling away from his embrace. "Meanwhile, do you mind if we continue playing for a little while? I need to unwind a little bit."

He laughed out loud at her comment, and they stayed for an hour in this room, killing enemies, laughing and forgetting their problems for a few moments of innocence. She eventually put the gamepad back on her lap and stretched with a sight, aware that she had to go back to the living room now, go back to Killian and this awful tension between them. But she couldn't leave him alone with the kids for much longer – he had to be exhausted, having to take care of three kids on his own – and she needed to stop running away from her own husband. She wanted things to get better, and she was going to face him. She had no other choice.

"I have to go, now." She said with another deep sight to give herself some courage back.

"Yeah, I'm going to call Violet." He answered as she was getting off the bed to get out of the room and go face reality again. "Hey, mom?" he called her back as she was about to walk past the door, and she turned to look at him, intrigued. "Hang in there. It's gonna be okay."

"Thanks, kid." She said with a little thankful smile.

She walked down the stairs, decided to finally go talk to Killian this time, even if it was hard. She didn't want them to stay like this, to stay mad, because she hated that situation. She wanted him back. And she wanted this horrible sadness, this feeling that he'd betrayed her to go away. But when she arrived in the living room, she realized it definitely wasn't a good time for them to have a serious conversation. The kids were running everywhere, overexcited, and they couldn't leave them alone, even for a second. When they were like this, she knew by experience they could do anything, and she wasn't about to take that risk. Killian was kneeling on the floor beside them, and looked up at her when he heard her steps ringing on the floor. He offered her half a smile, and asked almost shyly :

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine, we talked for a while." She said as calmly as possible, nodding at him.

"Listen, Em', I..." He started, but she cut him off more violently they she would have wanted to.

"Not now. Tonight, when the kids will be asleep. All right?" She added more gently, forcing herself to smile to show him she was ready to talk to him, it was just not the right time.

He nodded with a still concerned frown on his face, and Emma sat down next to him on the floor to start playing with her kids and brother. She forced herself to smile during the entire afternoon, but wasn't feeling like laughing at all. She knew the only thing able to make her feel better would be to talk with Killian, to tell him about her feelings, to hug him tight and never let him go. So she was waiting for the night with impatience, hoping that, finally, everything would be okay between them again.

* * *

The night had taken its place, chasing the sun, the moon the only glow enlightening the surroundings. Emma wrapped her arms around herself, trying to protect herself from the cold. She was shaking, but didn't have the courage to get up and go home to put on a sweater. She was sitting on one of the swing that they'd placed in their backyard for the kids to play in summer, and was gently swinging back and forth, the movement relaxing her. She still hadn't talked with Killian. He was putting Leia to bed right now, what seemed to be quite an adventure, as their daughter was still pretty excited by the day she'd just spent. Liam had fallen asleep pretty quickly, exhausted by his games with Neal, and after walking out of his room, she'd decided to go out despite the freezing wind to join the swings. She would always go there when she was feeling sad or when she needed to think about something. The quiet of the yard was soothing her. The evening had been quite tensed : she had barely shared a few words with Killian, what was making her so sad. She was missing talking to him, laughing at his stupid jokes, taking him in her arms every few minutes. His eyes shinning with joy, his fragrance of leather and sea, his laughter, she was missing all those little things about him. She wanted her husband back. She just wanted things to get better.

She stayed alone for another little while before hearing the back door opening. She saw Killian's figure approaching her, and straightened a bit on her seat. Wrapping her hands around the chains holding the swing in place, she held them so tight the cold burnt her fingers. She still wanted to talk to him, she wanted this for hours now, she wanted to be honest with him, but she was also scared to worsen things even more. She looked at him sitting down on the empty swing next to her, sighting in the dark. He didn't say anything for a few seconds, and she looked down at her knees, feeling a bit awkward as she had no idea of how to begin with. Then, he finally moved, and she glanced at him to see what he wanted to do. He dipped his hand into the pocket of his leather jacket, and got out his flask to hand it over to her.

"Drink. It'll make you feel better."

She accepted his offer with a small smile, knowing it was his own way of reaching her. She took four big sips out of the flask, the alcohol burning her throat, and she winced slightly. She handed him the flask back, and he took a few sips himself before putting it back inside his pocket. She refused to look down again, and was staring at him when their eyes finally met. She read in his gaze that he was feeling really bad, and he seemed to feel so guilty her guts twisted. He'd done something wrong, sure, but it didn't change the fact she hated to see him like that.

"Swan, I don't even know what to say." He finally started. "I am so sorry about what I said to you last night. I can guess by your silence that I hurt you, and I feel so guilty about that."

"I know you do." She answered in a whisper, trying to find the right words to tell him how she was actually feeling.

"What I told you was so unfair." He continued. "Especially because I know how much you fought against yourself to not put that armor of yours back up. I don't know what to say for you to forgive me..."

"You don't need to say anything" She answered sincerely. "I'm not even mad at you anymore, you know. It's just... You hurt me. A lot. Because I'm doing the best I can to avoid going back to where I come from, because I come so far. And it's thanks to you that I'm like this now, you showed me that I could trust you and that not everybody would end up leaving me. And hearing you say that kind of things, it just made me want to put my armor back on again, because I realize that now that I brought my walls down, people can hurt me so much more easily. You can hurt me, Killian, and I don't want that to happen. I don't want to get hurt again."

"Me neither." He said, unshed tears shinning deep inside his blue eyes. "I never wanted to hurt you, love, I promise. But please, don't put your armor back on. I am so, so sorry. I know I can't take back what I said, even if I know that was wrong, but I can tell you this : I love you, Emma Swan. You're the most amazing woman I've had the chance of knowing in my life. You've gotten through so much in your life, and here you are, still a hero, with the purest heart I've ever approached. You're strong and gentle at the exact same time, and I can't stand the idea of hurting you, because you deserve the entire world."

His hand searched hers in the dark, and she let her fingers interlacing with his, his thumb rubbing her skin. His speech had made tears appear in her eyes, because she knew he was being completely, utterly honest with her. These words were coming right from his heart, and they were truly beautiful. Feeling like she could admit what was on her mind now, she answered :

"It's not only what you said, you know. The fact that you don't want to tell me what's happening with Jasmine, it's hurting me too. And I hate myself for that, because you have the perfect right to have your secrets, like everyone. But I have none for you, I tell you everything. And I trust you so much, while I feel like it's not your case..."

"Emma, sweetheart, you're the person I trust most in this world. I hope you know that, right?" He asked, his voice shaking.

"I know. Well, I thought I knew, anyways." She said, a bit comforted by his words because she could feel that he was telling her the truth. "I just felt like everything was falling apart yesterday. I don't know what's going on anymore, Killian. I'm a bit lost." She admitted in a murmur.

"The fact that I don't want to talk with you about my past with Jasmine has nothing to do with my trust in you." He assured, tightening his grip on her hand, as if she was about to run away and he wanted to hold her back. "I just don't want to worry you, and I don't want to stir up the past. It's nothing bad, I promise."

"Okay." She whispered, knowing that he was being sincere.

The fact that he was swearing to her he trusted her was making her feel so much better. After all, if he didn't want to talk to her, it was his own choice. It was his life. And even if she would have liked him to tell her everything, she would have wanted him to share his burden with her, she couldn't force him to do so. He smiled at her with so much softness her heart fluttered, and started to talk again, in a low, tender voice :

"Let me redeem myself, love. Tomorrow, we'll bring the kids to your parents' to have the night just for us. I'll plan something. We need it. What do you think?"

"Are you asking me out on a date?" She asked with a little giggle.

"Indeed I am, Swan." He answered with a wink.

Her smile widened even more. She was so happy to see that everything seemed right between them again. Their talk had gone so well, and she was happy to have him back. She freed herself from the grip he still had on her hand, and got up as he was doing the same. At the exact same time, they took a step forward and walked in the other's arms. She buried her head into the crook of his neck as he was running his fingers through her blond locks. She kissed his neck, twice, what made him chuckle, and she whispered to his ear :

"I love you."

"I love you too, so much, darling." He answered in the same gentle tone. "I've missed you."

He pulled a little bit away from her, and she could notice the big smile he had on his lips, his eyes sparkling with pure happiness. He leaned forward, meeting her mouth, and she immediately opened for him, his tongue dancing on her bottom lips. The kiss became more and more demanding, until she moaned against him, the sound muffled by his mouth. They stayed for quite a while sharing kisses in their backyard, then, without conferring or pulling away from each other, they walked to the back door to enter the house and celebrate their reconciliation in the heat of their bed.

* * *

 **So, what do you think? See you next week for their big date :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks a lot to ellegirlie77, paupaupi, oncer4life11 and Alexa for the reviews! Your support means so much to me!  
**

 **I hope you'll like this fluffy chapter, it's a bit different from what I usually write, but I really enjoyed writing it! :)**

* * *

"Christ, Leia, can't you stay still for a second? Please?" Emma sighed, busy tying – or trying to tie, given the direction this activity was taking – her daughter's hair, while the little girl was wriggling to free herself from her grip. "I promise it's almost over."

"It hurts!" The toddler complained with a pout.

Emma didn't answer anything, knowing all too well her little girl was just whining for nothing, as she was being careful not to hurt her, being all delicate and gentle in her gestures. After struggling for another few minutes, she finally managed to finish the little braid, and placed her hand on her daughter's shoulders to show her the image reflected in the big mirror hanging on a wall of the nursery.

"See? You look like a little princess. It was worth waiting, what do you think?"

Leia shrugged as an answer and jumped off the chair she was sitting on to kneel on the floor and start playing with her Lego blocks. Emma shook her head and sighed once again, telling herself that this little stubborn girl was definitely never listening to her, and she lifted her up from the ground to take her into her arms. She immediately started to whine again, kicking to try and win this fight, but Emma managed to make her stop and said, a bit annoyed :

"Well tried, princess, but you know you're going to stay and Grandma and Granpa's tonight."

"But I don't want to!" She protested, wrinkling her nose and pretending to be about to start crying.

Emma rolled her eyes, thinking to herself that her daughter was definitely a very good actress for her young age. "I know you're just pretending, Leia. I don't believe you. And you always like to go and play with Neal. You'll have fun, you'll see."

She seemed to finally surrender and give up on her try to seduce her mom to get what she wanted, and wrapped her little arms around Emma's neck, looking finally calm. Taking advantage of this mood change, Emma bent over to take the bag she'd prepared her daughter for the night, and walked down the stairs to go to the kitchen. A marvelous smell of food greeted her when she entered the room, and she smiled, seeing Killian focused on something he was cooking – and what was obviously very tasty, she could already tell. Next to him, Henry and Liam were playing together, the big brother gently teasing the little one to make him laugh.

Her date with Killian was happening that same night, and Liam and Leia were scheduled to go sleep at Mary-Margaret and David's, while Henry was going back at Regina's for the night. They wanted to be alone for that special date celebrating their reconciliation. She was pretty eager to find herself alone with her husband and to see what he'd planned for the night. Since their conversation the day before, they hadn't left each other once, taking every excuse to kiss or hug each other. She was feeling like she'd gotten her husband back, and she was so happy about it. Killian turned to look at her when he heard her coming, and Emma put Leia on the floor so she could go play with her brothers. She walked to join her husband, as he was looking at her like she was the eighth wonder of the world, what made her blush a little bit.

"Wow." He whispered, wrapping his arm around her waist and she shuffled to get closer to him, smiling at his reaction.

She was already dressed for their night. She'd spent a little bit of time trying to find something good to wear, but had finally settled on a red and short dress, that she liked a lot – and that he seemed to like too, if she was trusting his blue eyes shinning at her sight. She'd let her hair fall in light waves on her shoulders, and brushed them behind her back before grabbing the front of Killian's shirt, as he wasn't dressed yet for their date. Flattered by his comment, she leaned forward to kiss his lips for a few seconds, before answering, her mouth still brushing against his :

"I'm sorry, it's not fair to see my dress before the real date."

"No need to apologize, Swan. I promise you I'll have the exact same reaction when I'll see you later." He said, what made her giggle.

She stayed for a few more seconds snuggled against him before leaning forward to try and see what he was cooking, her stomach suddenly growling in expectation. "It smells so good, what are we having?"

"It's a surprise." He answered with a purposely mysterious smile that made her chuckle again, pulling her back so she couldn't see what was inside the cooking pots. "But I can tell you you'll like it."

"Good." She answered, playfully wriggling her eyebrows at him. "Okay, I should go, now." She added, glancing at the kitchen clock. "My parents are waiting for me."

"All right, love. See you in one hour, then." He said, as if to remind her not to be late.

"I'll be there right on time." She promised, what made him chuckle.

He pressed a tender kiss on her lips as a goodbye, before hugging the kids, telling them to be good while they were away. She helped Liam and Leia putting on their coats and shoes in the hallway, as Henry was opening the front door. During the car ride, she took the time to ask her son how things had turned out with Violet, and he assured her everything was more than good between them right before she dropped him at Regina's. This statement made her smile, as she realized everything seemed to be right back as it was before, both for Violet and Henry and for her and Killian. It's in a very good mood that she knocked at her parents' door, and they came to greet her with a big smile on their faces, as the kids were babbling in excitement, always happy to see their grandparents.

She spent the hour before her date sharing small talks with her parents and watching the kids play with each other. The time to take her car back came quite quickly, and she went back to her yellow bug, eager to finally get home. She decided not to use her keys to come inside the house, and knocked at her own door instead, aware that it would be more romantic than to come in without announcing herself. Not that she was a master in that kind of romantic gestures, but she knew Killian would like that idea. She smiled, almost bouncing on her feet. She was so excited to get him back after their fight, to spend a little time with him and, quite honestly, the dates he was planning were always absolutely perfect to say the least.

He came to open the door for her only a few seconds later. His eyes enlightened when he met her gaze, as if he hadn't seen her before, but she almost didn't notice the lust shinning in his pupils. She was herself pretty busy staring at him. Her lips parted when she realized he'd changed, and she smiled, her heartbeats racing and butterflies appearing in her stomach. He'd traded his usual leather clothes for black jeans and a blue shirt that did nothing to hide the delightful curves of his muscles. She opened her mouth to tell him what she was thinking about his outfit, but he interrupted her thoughts. In a whisper, he said :

"You look absolutely gorgeous, Swan."

"Come on, you've seen me before." She laughed, blushing a little bit at his comment.

"Well, I've promised you to have the same reaction, haven't I?" He shrug, making her giggle. "And, quite frankly, you're taking my breath away, sweetheart."

She giggled again, looking down and placing a strand of hair behind her ear, feeling like a teenage girl knowing her first love. How could he still make her feel like that after all these years, by a simple word or a glance? She walked to him, lifting her eyes to look at him, and gently ran a hand through his hair before saying in a low voice :

"And you look..."

"I know."

She snorted at that as he was giving her a charming smile. He knew all too well that she wasn't that comfortable with words, sometimes, and that she didn't really know what to say to express her feelings. So he was always making sure that she didn't have to say anything if she didn't want to, by showing her he was getting her without words. To make him understand just how much she loved everything about him, she put herself on her tiptoe and kissed his lips for a long, long time, running her hand up and down his back to encourage him to come even closer to her. As her tongue was asking for entrance, and she was softly moaning through the kiss, he gently broke their embrace to kiss her forehead. He laughed at her questioning, and quite honestly a bit disappointed look, and said in a somewhat husky voice :

"This is planned for later Swan, don't fret. But for now, the dinner is awaiting for us, and it would be a bummer to let it cool down."

"Okay." She laughed, pulling a little bit away from him, but keeping his hand in hers, because she didn't want to completely let go. "It's actually good, because I'm absolutely starving."

He smiled at that, knowing that the fact she'd gotten her appetite back also meant that she was feeling good and happy. He led her to the kitchen, his fingers gently caressing the skin of her hand, and her lips parted once again when she saw everything he'd done to make their night absolutely perfect. The lights of the room were turned off, and at least two dozens of candles were enlightening the place, giving such a romantic and intimate atmosphere to the kitchen. The table was ready, and a single rose was placed in the center of it, laying on the tablecloth. She could recognize his usual romance in this, and looked at him to press a kiss on his cheek, squeezing his hand in hers as a quiet thank you. He stared at her with a slight smile, looking happy by her reaction, and gently freed himself from her embrace to help her sit down on a chair.

"What a gentleman you are, tell me." She said, half-teasing, half-serious.

"You know me." He replied softly, kissing the top of her head.

She placed her chin in her hand and looked at him getting the plates ready, offering her help but getting a refusal in return as he was telling her it was her night and she didn't have to do anything. She stared at him, still surprised to see how skillful he was with only one hand. The way he was walking, slowly in order not to drop anything, his focused expression, the muscles of his arms appearing from underneath his shirt, everything in him was giving her the strong desire to get up and start kissing him in the middle of the kitchen, forgetting about the dinner and everything else, just wanting to feel him against her. The heat in her lower stomach was becoming quite strong, but she forced herself to calm down, taking some deep breath to pull herself together. She was aware that the night was just starting, and she wanted to enjoy a quiet moment with him. She then smiled at him when he placed a plate of spaghetti and meatballs in front of her, her stomach growling again in expectation. He poured her a glass of red wine before doing the same for himself, and came to sit face to her, gesturing for her to begin.

The meal turned out to be absolutely delicious – as always when he was cooking, actually. She couldn't remember him failing something once, he was a real master in the kitchen. They talked for a long time, he got her to laugh so much she almost choked on her wine, and they just enjoyed the other's presence for a little while. When he gestured to get up and go serve their desert, she refused to let go of his hand, interlaced with hers above the table, next to their empty plates. It made him laugh, and he pressed a kiss on her knuckles before saying with a wink, freeing himself from her embrace :

"I promise you it's worth it, love."

He hadn't lied. God knows how, he'd managed to make the most amazing tiramisu she'd ever eaten in her entire life, and she even went for a second round, impressed by his never ending skills. At the end of the meal, she leaned above the table to press a kiss on his lips, more than happy to find herself there with him, just an usual couple loving each other so much and spending a night together. She helped him put the dirty plates in the sink, but he stopped her when she started to wash them, grabbing her waist and pulling her backward until she was pressed against his chest.

"We'll have all the time in the world for that tomorrow, love, but it's our night and we should enjoy it. And, meanwhile, I have plans..."

She turned in his arms to face him, wondering what he had in mind, and looked at him bending to grab the remote control of the stereo they were owning. He pressed a button and a quiet, romantic song she realized to be _Arms_ started to ring against the walls of the room as he was tugging her even closer to him. She giggled, wrapping her hands around his neck as he was beginning to waltz with her in his arms, guiding her with his movements.

"Seriously?" She kindly mocked him. "I knew you were old-fashioned, but this is a bit much, even for you, don't you think?" She gently tickled the back of his neck, what made him tilt his head back to enjoy her touch.

"Don't try to make me believe you don't like this." He answered, taking her hand in his to make her spin, making her giggle.

"You're right, I like it." She admitted, placing her hands back around him, as he was running his fingers up her back, earning himself a shiver.

Sometimes, she was feeling a bit ashamed to not be that good with big romantic speeches. He was always telling her how amazing he thought she was, how beautiful, strong, brave, and she was feeling guilty not to be able to tell him the same thing while she was thinking those words so hard. Because she was finding him absolutely, utterly perfect. He was so loving, courageous, loyal, caring, handsome – _god_ , so handsome – all those things she couldn't have thought possible to find in the same man before meeting him, her true love, the love of her life. She couldn't have been happier to have him by her side. She was so glad that her children could look up to such a wonderful father, and thanks to his patience and love, she was a better person now. He'd made her trust the future, he'd brought her walls down, one by one, without ever giving up on her, and that had made it possible to know this absolute happiness now. She could never have thanked him enough for being by her side, always. Deciding she wanted to try, even if she would be a bit awkward, she started, wavering a bit :

"Killian..."

"You don't need to say anything if it makes you uncomfortable, Swan." He gently cut her off, leaning to press a kiss on her forehead, and she closed her eyes to enjoy the feeling. "I know how you feel."

"I know." She smiled, so thankful that he was never pushing her to do anything. "It's just... You're amazing, Killian Jones. I love you."

"I'm aware." He said, raising his eyebrows and making her laugh out loud.

He was always managing to make her feel good and, thanks to him, she wasn't scared anymore. She pulled him even closer, completely burying herself in his embrace, resting her head on his shoulder. She kissed him there, twice, as he was saying in a low, gentle voice :

"I love you too, my darling."

She felt him smile against her, and he kissed her temple, before gently making her lift her head up so he could reach her lips. She let her forehead fall against his, so happy to feel him close, her heart pounding so fast in her chest as the feeling of his mouth was still printed on hers. The song ended, but they didn't move a bit, staying in their little bubble of pure happiness. He eventually started to move again, kissing her one last time before pulling away to lead her to the living room, his hand still tightly wrapped around hers. He pulled away for a few seconds to put on a movie on their big TV screen, and sat down next to her on the couch as she was snuggling against his chest, curious to see what he'd chosen for this night. She laughed a bit when she recognized the start of _Tangled_ , and kissed his cheek as both his arms were wrapped around her.

"A Disney movie? Really?" She scoffed, resting her head against his shoulder.

"Mock me all you want, Swan, but I know you like this movie a lot." He said, raising a falsely annoyed eyebrow at her.

"Yeah, you're right." She admitted with half a smile, lifting her hand up to run it through his hair again. "Actually, you make me think about Flynn Rider a lot, you know that?"

"See? You're happy." He replied, his blue eyes shinning in the darkness surrounding them.

"Yeah, well, you're still a big kid at heart."

He turned to look at her with a defiant expression she didn't understand right away, as if he wanted to prove her wrong. Without notice, he took her arm and quickly laid her down on the couch, straddling her to start kissing her senseless. He took her bottom lip in between his teeth, what made her gasp in surprise, and he attacked her neck, before finishing his path on her collar bone, what made her sigh in pleasure. He ended up pulling away from her, keeping her underneath him so she couldn't move, and asked just a few inches away from her face :

"Am I still a kid now?"

She laughed at his question, placing both her hands on the muscles of his strong arms, sighing again at the feeling of his warm skin against her. She lifted her head up to meet his lips and press a quick peck on it before answering :

"I take back what I said."

"Good to hear." He said seriously.

She laughed, but he leaned forward again to stifle her giggles against his mouth, their tongues meeting in a warm, familiar embrace that made her body arch to get closer to his. But after a while, he ended up pulling away for good, sitting back down on the couch, and smiling at her when she let go of a groan of protest :

"Very well, I'd like to go on with these quite enjoyable activities as well, love, but we have a movie to watch."

"Yeah, I'm sure we'll be able to wait a bit." She laughed at his comment, sitting back down as well to snuggle against him as he was wrapping his arm around her shoulder so she could rest her head on his strong chest.

But she hadn't expected that refraining herself would be that difficult. His fingers running back and forth on her side in a tender stroke, his smell, the kisses he was regularly placing on her neck and face, everything was making her want to jump on him, right there, without waiting any longer, because, _god_ , she wanted him so bad. She couldn't even focus on the movie anymore, her mind blurred by this desire to take his clothes off and by the heat burning in her lower stomach. His jerky breath and the fast pace of his heartbeats that she could hear through his shirt was telling her that he was feeling the exact same thing. So, after a little while, not able to wait any longer anymore because this situation was driving her nuts, she turned to him to say, a bit breathless :

"Killian, I..."

"Half of the movie is a good time to stop." He cut her off, turning to look at her, and she noticed that his pupils were completely dilated in lust now. "Quite frankly, I didn't think we would hold this long."

Without waiting any longer, taking his words as an invitation, she straddled him and pushed him so he could lean on the back of the couch, starting to kiss him with passion, her hands running up his tight chest. After a while, her mouth still glued to his, she started to try and unfasten the buttons of his shirt, but she couldn't look and kiss him at the same time and her hands were shaking because of her eagerness. Her awkwardness made him laugh against her lips. Falsely annoyed, she stopped their kisses to smack his shoulder as a kind revenge. Far from being impressed, he chuckled again and playfully tickled her side, what made her startle and she gasped in surprise. He laughed, then captured her mouth, starting to kiss her back almost violently, the embrace so demanding she was feeling her heart about to burst inside her chest. She finally managed to detach his shirt, and he pulled back from the back of the couch for a second as she was tossing it on the floor underneath them. She let her hands run on his stomach, on his strong, familiar arms, panting at the desire burning in her veins, then she attacked his face again to kiss every inches of it. He started to make his way under her dress as well, and it wasn't long before it came to join the now useless shirt on the ground. She was aware that they couldn't wait for much longer before going further, and wondered if they would continue these activities on the couch. But he suddenly wrapped his arms underneath her butt and got up all at once, as if she wasn't weighting anything. She wrapped her legs around his waist and grabbed his neck to steady herself, as he was saying underneath his breath :

"A princess deserves to be taken properly in a bed."

She was about to answer him it wasn't usually bothering him to take her everywhere in the house, but he didn't give her the time to say anything. Starting to kiss her again, he began to move, and walked up the staircase without stopping their kisses once. When they got into their room, he gently laid her down on the bed, as if she was the most precious thing alive on this planet. He straddled her again, but didn't continue his kisses, and Emma looked with a bit of curiosity at his gaze running up and down her body, as if it was the first time he was seeing her in that position. The desire seemed to burn like a red flame in his blue eyes.

"What?" She finally asked, not understanding why he was staring at her like that, because god knows they'd found themselves in this position almost every night since they'd started dating.

"You're absolutely perfect, Swan."

Surprised, her lips parted, as she didn't really know what to answer, but he didn't give her the time to do so. Leaning forward again, he continued their heated kisses, and she moaned, wrapping her legs even tighter around him, wondering what she'd done that was so good in her life to find herself lucky enough to wake up every morning next to a man that was looking at her like she was the eighth wonder of the world. She felt his kisses starting to get lower and lower on her naked stomach, and cupped his head, arching her back to encourage him in his task, because, god helped her, he was so good. The last thought to cross her mind was that she loved this guy so damn much before she let herself enjoy this quite enjoyable moment completely.

* * *

 **The song I'm talking about here is _Arms_ from Christina Perri, it always reminded me of Captain Swan in a certain way :) I hope you liked this chapter, and see you next week! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi guys! thanks a lot to oncer4life11 and Alexa for the reviews!**

 **This chapter is still a pretty fluffy one, even if Emma is starting to ask herself some pretty important questions at the end... I hope you'll like it!**

* * *

It was still awfully early. Emma Swan was however awake for a few minutes already, what was not in her habits at all. Her head titled on its side, she was watching her husband sleep with a tender smile dancing on her lips. He had one of his arm wrapped around her, and was looking so peaceful. His tight stomach was raising and falling at a regular pace, his eyelids were fluttering, showing that he was having a dream, and his hair was a bit messy, falling over his forehead and giving him a somewhat childlike look. Staring at him was making her heart swell with happiness, and she was so happy to have gotten him back after their fight. She couldn't help herself but reach for his hair to chase it away from is face, very gently, though, because she didn't want to wake him up. Her smile widened when she realized they'd switched their usual position, as she was the one up first this time.

She snuggled a bit closer to him, her mind surprisingly clear for such an early hour. She started to intensely think about this entire story with Aladdin and Jasmine, her hand coming to rest over Killian's chest. She was sure that her husband wasn't going to tell her anything about his past with these people, now, and even if she would have preferred him to trust her on that matter, she'd decided that it was his choice and she had no right to push him. But she also knew she couldn't pretend everything was all right and ignore the new people in town. She was the sheriff, she had to take care of them, and she'd yelled in front of them during their first meeting, after all, she therefore had to go and explain herself. Apologizing to them was the only way for these people to take her seriously, to respect and listen to her, and it was important for them to do so because they'd obviously decided to stay for a while in Storybrooke. After thinking for a while, she then decided to go and talk to them during the day, telling herself the sooner the better. A bit nervous at this idea, she however managed to make her anxiety go away just by looking back at Killian, still sound asleep by her side.

Without notice, he started to fuss in his sleep. Moving as if to escape an invisible danger. A little groan escaped his lips as he was pulling away from her, rolling on his back. She frowned, realizing he was having a nightmare, and a pretty violent one if she was trusting his reaction. Without really thinking about it, just wanting to soothe him, she leaned forward to press a bunch of little kisses down his jaw, ending her path on his chin. He let go of a little moan, and stopped moving as if her touch was comforting him. She giggled at that, her worry flying away. She pressed another kiss on his cheek, then a quick peck on his lips to wake him up gently, but completely. He finally opened an eye to discover her leaning above him, and he seemed a bit surprised. Chuckling again, she murmured against his mouth, their noses brushing against one another.

"'Morning, you."

He raised an eyebrow at her, what made her smile even more. She moved again, straddling him completely and pressing a kiss on the tip of his nose. He grinned back, putting his hand on the small of her back so she was laying down on him completely. She didn't need to be asked twice, and placed her head just underneath his chin, enjoying their tender embrace.

"Did we fall in another realm during the night, for you to be already awakened and me to be too tired to get up?" He asked in a husky voice.

"You're the one who's put me in a good mood." She said, sighing at the marvelous position they were in.

"And you're the one who exhausted me by waking me up in the middle of the night." He answered with laughter in his voice.

She giggled as she was remembering the surprise etched on his face when she'd woken him up at four in the morning by kissing him everywhere. He'd quite quickly lost his expression, though, to answer to her caress, and they'd spent quite a good time together – again. He hadn't seemed to complain about this idea at night, and she therefore answered in a falsely annoyed tone :

"You didn't seem to mind, at the time."

"I still don't." He replied, kissing the top of her head. "I actually liked that idea a lot, you know that."

She smiled at that, and he held her close for a very long time, kissing her head and playing with her hair as she was almost falling back asleep under his strokes. It was honestly the best way to start the day, she thought, and she was feeling so damn happy. She stayed for a long, long time in the quiet of the room, simply enjoying his presence by her side. Then, finally, she started to talk again, without moving a bit, still laying on him.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

"Huh?" He asked absent-mindlessly, his slurred voice telling her that he too had almost fallen back asleep.

"You whimpered in your sleep, it was looking pretty violent." She said in a low voice.

"Oh, aye." He answered, burying his nose in her hair to breathe her in. "But don't you worry a bit, darling. It was just a bad dream. I can't even tell you what it was about, I've already forgotten about it."

She frowned at that, a bit perplexed. She could tell that he was lying to her and could perfectly remember what his dream was about : her super-power had never betrayed her before, and his heartbeats that had started to race in his chest were telling her that she was absolutely right about her assumption. But after a second of deep thinking, she decided to pretend everything was okay. If he didn't want to talk to her, it was his choice after all. Maybe he was embarrassed, for all she knew. And it was just a dream. It couldn't be bad. Right?

"Are you hungry?" He then offered, interrupting her inner speech. "Maybe we should go get breakfast on the way. We have to go fetch the kids in a bit."

Aware that he was trying to change the subject, she however nodded and smiled, wanting to give him his space even if she was feeling a bit worried. They both got off the bed, hands in hands. He was only wearing pants, staying bare chest, and she was dressed in panties and one of his gray shirt, that, way too wide for her, was stopping mid-thigh. She buried her nose in the piece of clothing for a second, breathing in his smell, and smiled, deciding to forget her concern about his dream to enjoy her time with him. She liked to wear his clothes from time to time, she was feeling like she was taking him with her wherever she was going in the house, and it was making her feel safe. They both walked down the stairs without parting once, but once in the hallway, after one last kiss, they went their separate ways : him to the kitchen to start breakfast, her heading for the living room to go pick up the clothes they'd left on the floor the night before.

It only took her a handful of minutes to finish her task, but when she entered the kitchen, a wonderful smell of bacon greeted her. She immediately started to salivate in expectation, and approached Killian, who was standing back to her since he was making sure their breakfast wasn't burning. Her bare feet weren't making any noise on the cold floor, and he had obviously not heard her coming in. Feeling in a teasing mood, she approached him in silence and wrapped both her arms around him, spreading her hands wide on his naked stomach, what made him startle a bit. She laughed, and grabbed his hook with one hand to pull him even closer, slowly kissing his neck. He leaned back against her, tilting his head to enjoy her strokes more easily. After a few minutes of tender caresses, she ended up pulling away from him to go fetch some ingredients in the fridge and make them omelets. He looked at her with an eyebrow raised during the entire time as she was making the preparation ready, looking amused by the situation. His gaze on her made her smile, but she ended up asking as she was pouring what she'd made into a pan :

"What are you laughing at, Jones?"

"Emma Swan cooking something? That's a first." He gently mocked her.

"Shut up, or you won't have the right to eat it." She replied without managing to hide her smile because of his teasing. "And you're always the one insisting to cook at night, you know. I can actually make a few things, even if I'm not a master like yourself."

"I know you can, Swan, but I'm always insisting to cook myself because I know you like your junk-food. Eating cheeseburgers is good for a bit, but you can't do that all the time. It's not healthy."

"I've done that my entire life." She replied, leaving the cooking of her eggs alone for a minute to smile at him. "And you shouldn't know that kind of things. I seem to recall you not being a fan of the modern world, a few years ago."

"Even in the Enchanted Forest, we know how to eat healthy, love. And you can't be mad at me for trying to take care of my wife."

He'd said those last words with laughter in his voice, but she suddenly lost her grin, turning serious. Of course, she was so damn happy he was taking care of her. She was moaning about it, but deep down, she was feeling so thankful, because he was so caring with her. The only reason why she'd eaten like that most of her life was because she'd never had anyone to tell her it wasn't very good for her health, since no one cared about her. And then he'd arrived in her life, and he'd made everything different, because he was worried she would end up getting sick. She wanted to make him understand how much it meant for her, to have someone caring about her and her well-being, because before him, only a few people had actually paid attention to her, and most of them had ended up leaving her anyways. Killian was making her feel loved, important and enough, and she let go of the pan that she was holding in her hand to interlace her fingers with his.

"I'm not mad at you, babe." She said in a very soft voice, almost shaking from her emotions. "I know I'm bitching about it sometimes, but it means so much to me. I'd never have thought I would one day find someone who cares about me that much, and... I hope you know how happy I am about it, right?"

He gently smiled, seeming to guess that she was feeling quite emotional. Placing his hook on the small of her back, she carefully shuffled to get closer to him, and he pressed a kiss on her forehead, before whispering against her skin :

"Of course I know, Swan. I really do."

She smiled as well, relieved to see that he knew how much he meant to her. He leaned forward to search for her lips, and she titled her head back, meeting his mouth with a little moan of pleasure. He was tasting like coffee – he'd obviously already had a cup while she was in the living room – and the feeling had her deepening the kiss even more. They parted after a couple of minutes and, wanting to change the subject, she said with laughter in her voice :

"But let me tell you, if you burn the bacon, I will never forgive you. You're warned, captain."

"Ah, right, you and your deep love for food." He said with a roll of his eyes that made her laugh out loud.

"What can I say? Maybe food is my real true love after all."

"Oi! He protested, falsely mad, and she put herself on her tiptoe to kiss his lips, not managing to hide her laugh.

Breakfast happened in such a good mood, filled with laughter and jokes, and after cleaning the dirty plates from their date, they both walked up the stairs to go get dressed. As they were arriving in their room and she was peering inside their huge wardrobe to find something to wear, he asked with an eyebrow arched at her, making her turn to look at him.

"Can I have my shirt back?"

"Nope." She simply answered, feeling in a teasing mood, and he parted his lips in surprise.

"What do you mean, no?"

"I like this shirt." She replied with a shrug, trying to hide her laughter and pretend everything was normal.

"Well, perhaps you do, love, but it's mine." He answered, playing along. "Besides, it's a men's shirt."

"So?" She said, finding it more and more difficult to hold herself back from giggling.

"So you can't possibly wear a men's shirt out of the house, while I may be needing it."

"Oh, so I can't wear this?" She said defiantly, smiling at him. "Try me. I'll do this today."

"You want to play?" He said, as she was putting on black jeans, giggling at the tone he'd used to talk to her. "Very well. If you wear this all day, we'll order something from Granny's tonight."

"And if I end up changing? Not that it's going to happen. You know I always win my bets" She asked, amused by the fact they were betting on stupid things like two kids.

"You cook for a week straight. And prepared dishes are forbidden."

"You've got yourself a deal'" She said with a laugh, reaching for his hand for a handshake as if they were doing a very serious, adult thing while they were acting like two teenagers and, she had to admit it, she liked that a lot.

He took her hand and kept it in his for a few seconds before tugging her closer, capturing her lips and asking for entrance. She opened her mouth for him, suddenly feeling dizzy at the heat of their kiss, but forced herself to pull away from him when she found herself sitting on his lap at the edge of the bed.

"Maybe we should stop this. We'll be very late to go get the kids."

He sighed in disappointment, but nodded, knowing that she was right. He pressed a last kiss on the tip of her nose, and they both got up the bed, finally ready to go as he was still mocking her for wearing his shirt outside. This little action, after all, was doing nothing to hide their intimacy.

* * *

During the short trip separating the yellow bug from her parents' loft, Emma received a dozen of intrigued gazes coming from the citizens that were crossing their path, probably wondering what had gotten into her for dressing that way. It was true that the shirt was definitely way too wide for her, and she seemed to be lost in it, what drew her some curious glances, but she was feeling so good in the piece of clothing she didn't mind. She even answered each stares with a little mocking smile, to avoid awkward questions. It made Killian laugh a lot about this entire thing, and she was absent-mindlessly sharing his good mood. She'd indeed had the time during the car trip to think about her previous idea to talk to Jasmine, Aladdin and Salim. The thought that she was near Granny's, where they were staying during their time in Storybrooke, was making her think that maybe she should got talk to them now. The sooner, the better after all. She then stopped as they were arriving to her parents' building, and said to Killian with a little smile :

"Can you go without me? I have something to do at Granny's. I promise it won't be long, I'll be right back."

"What kind of thing?" He asked, frowning and looking a bit intrigued.

"Just stuffs." She shrugged, hoping he would give up on asking more questions.

She didn't want to tell him what she was about to do. She knew he would probably be worried about her getting mad again, but she was decided to stay calm and clear-minded this time. He would probably ask to join her as well, and she really needed to do this alone. His presence in the room wasn't going to help her stay calm since she was still haunted by the sight of Jasmine's hand cupping Killian's cheek. She shivered, a bit scared that she would lose her temper again if Killian came with her. She then smiled at him, and said, squeezing his hand to soothe him.

"I'll tell you after. Promise." She added, seeing he wasn't looking convinced at all.

He seemed to hesitate for a while, aware that something important was happening. This guy was definitely too perceptive for his own good, she thought. But she pressed a kiss on his cheek to quietly encourage him to trust her, and he ended up saying with a little sigh :

"Okay, Swan. I trust you. You know what you're doing."

Her smile widened, happy to see he was trusting her beyond words. She leaned forward again, to kiss his lips this time, before pulling away, saying in a teasing tone :

"I'll come back in ten minutes or so. Try not to fight with David too much." She added, knowing that the two men were actually getting along great now, but liking to joke about it with her husband.

"It's his call!" He answered as she was crossing the road, what made her laugh quietly.

At that moment, utterly focused on her desire to not get mad again, she'd completely forgotten about the fact she was wearing one of Killian's shirt. She therefore didn't realize she was risking to lose even more credibility by showing herself to the new people's door, and she was quite self-confident when she stepped inside the diner, waving at Granny on her way there.

* * *

"Sheriff Swan?"

Aladdin's voice and surprised glance were doing nothing to hide how astonished he was to see her at the door of the room he was sharing with Jasmine at the inn. Emma knew that Salim had a room similar to theirs just across the hall, but if she was trusting the sound of conversation coming from behind Aladdin, the bodyguard had himself come to join his friends. The conversation seemed animated, and she forced herself to try and not to listen to it right away, offering the man facing her a professional smile before saying in a calm voice :

"Can I come in for a minute? I would like to talk to you about something."

"Sure." He said, running his hand through his dark hair. "Come on in."

He stepped away to let her enter the room, and she walked inside with somewhat uncertain steps, trying to seem assured while she was feeling a bit scared to worsen things even more. Her confidence had gone away at the moment she'd knocked at the door. Was coming there even a good idea? She was doubting herself, now, her assurance long gone. Salim and Jasmine, sitting on the bed, turned to look at her as she was approaching them. The man nodded at her as a greeting, but Killian's friend offered her such an aggressive look she felt like she'd just received a bucket of iced water on her head. She couldn't understand why this woman seemed to hate her so much, she hadn't done anything to her. She seemed to see her as a threat for a reason Emma couldn't quite grasp, and she cleared her throat to pull herself together

"Sorry to bother you, guys. I just wanted to talk to you about something important, but it won't be long, I promise."

"Are you wearing a men's shirt?" Jasmine said, as an attack, without paying attention to her previous words.

She stared at Emma with a look that clearly meant _"what are you, five?"_ , and the sheriff looked down at Killian's shirt, doing her best to not look surprised by this statement. The new people were wearing modern clothes, now, and Jasmine's comment made her think that they knew enough about this world's fashion to notice that her outfit was a bit peculiar. But despite the provocation, Emma was decided not to lose her self-control. With a little shrug and a smile, she answered as if it wasn't a big deal :

"Just a bet with my husband. Nothing important."

She'd stressed the word 'husband' without even noticing it, as if to mark her territory. She saw the young woman facing her rolling her eyes, and she frowned, not understanding why this girl was behaving that way. Sure, she'd yelled the first time she'd met her, but she'd had a good reason to do so. It wasn't as if she was insane. And she wasn't knowing her personally, so the fact that she was feeling confident enough to judge her was making Emma a bit mad. A voice at the back of her head started to yell that her reaction had something to do with the past she was sharing with Killian, but she decided to ignore it. She didn't want to linger on that dangerous subject. She then said without paying attention to Jasmine's reaction :

"But I'm not here to talk about my clothes, actually. I came here to apologize."

"Apologize?"

Aladdin had interrupted her, an eyebrow raised in question. He didn't seem to know what she needed to be sorry for, and that surprised her a bit. But she was relieved the young man didn't seem to think she was crazy or anything. It was as if he'd totally forgotten about what'd happened only a few days ago, but she still wanted to apologize, no matter what. She needed to. She then smiled at him and answered :

"Yeah, you heard right. I should never have let my private life come in the way of my job as a sheriff. I'm sorry I've gotten mad in front of you, it wasn't right to yell like that. I can promise you it won't happen again."

"He didn't tell you how he knows us, am I wrong?" Jasmine then said, staring at Emma with a judgmental expression that made an uncomfortable shiver run up her spine.

"No." She however admitted in a calm tone, decided to act like an adult and not give the woman what she wanted, because she was obviously trying to make her mad. "And it's his business. It's not because we're married that he's forced to tell me everything if he doesn't want to."

"You trust him a lot." She said in a mocking tone, a sardonic smile on her face.

"I do. More than I trust anyone." She said, not looking away and decided to keep staring at her.

Jasmine didn't surrender either, and they both stared at each other for an uncomfortable long time, as if taken into a quiet fight. They were looking like two enemies about to start punching each other, but if Emma couldn't understand why Jasmine was reacting that way, she wasn't about to yield and give her what she was looking for, whatever it was. Finally, after a very long time spent in a thick silence, the tension crackling in the air, Aladdin approached his wife and placed a soothing hand on her shoulder, whispering loud enough for Emma to hear :

"Jasmine, that's enough."

She broke the silent battle to turn her head, and gave a frown to her husband, what made Emma smile discreetly. She didn't know why Jasmine was hating her so much : she seemed to have her temper, but she didn't seem like a bad girl at heart. But despite this observation, Emma couldn't help but not like this woman either. Given the way Jasmine was treating her, it was human after all. She had this strange feeling that the young woman was a threat to her happiness, and she promised herself to do everything she could to stop her from ruining what she'd built over the years, whatever she had in mind to do so. After a few more seconds of silence, Emma started to talk again, as if nothing had happened and they'd just had a normal conversation :

"I'm not going to bother you for much longer. I just hope my apologies are accepted."

"Of course, they are." Aladdin smiled, walking her to door as if he was happy to see her go and feel all this horrible tension disappear. "Have a good day, sheriff."

He closed the door as soon as she'd stepped out of the room, and she stayed still for a few seconds, trying to catch her breath. She was feeling weird. She'd thought that talking to these people would make her feel better, but it was quite the opposite, really. Now that she'd seen them again, the feeling that their presence in town was hiding something bigger was back. She could sense that what they were sharing with Killian wasn't a little, trivial thing. But she forced herself to calm her fear down, walking to go outside and join her parents' loft. The cold air made her feel better. She knew she needed to trust Killian. If he was telling her everything was okay, it was probably the case. And she needed to stop listening to that little voice, deep inside of her, yelling that something important and serious was happening right in front of her eyes, and she didn't know anything about it.

* * *

"Are you wearing one of Hook's shirt?"

It was the first thing David told her after opening the door. She smiled almost sheepishly at him, not really knowing what to say to her dad. She saw Killian lifting his head up to peer at her from behind David's shoulder, looking a bit alarmed by this question. It was obvious they were intimate – god, they had two kids together – but having a visual proof of that wasn't looking like it was pleasing her dad a lot.

"No." She then simply answered, and Killian couldn't help but laugh out loud at that.

It earned him a frown from David as he was turning to look at his son-in-law, and Killian lost his smile, shrugging as if he was the most innocent man alive. Emma took advantage of this moment of distraction to sneak past her dad and enter the apartment. She immediately saw a brown head running toward her, and she squatted to hug Liam, who threw himself into her arms.

"What's up, sweetheart?" she asked, hugging him tight and pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

"I missed you!" he answered as she was lifting him up, refusing to break their embrace.

"Aw, I missed you too." she answered, smiling at her son.

She approached Killian to kiss his cheek, as he was holding an obviously bad-tempered Leia against him. She was frowning and looking like she was about to get mad for no reason at all, and Emma sighed, knowing how her daughter could get when she was like that. She hugged her mom and her baby brother, before going back to Leia, trying to greet her despite her bad mood. The little girl groaned and buried her face into Killian's neck as if she was trying to escape her mom's touch. Emma rolled her eyes, telling herself that the day was going to be a long one if the toddler was keeping this mood, and she rubbed her daughter's back, saying :

"Well, you're in a good mood."

She answered with another groan, holding her father's shoulders even tighter. Emma shook her head and turned to Killian, saying with a little wince :

"She loves me."

It made him smile, he knew that she was kidding, but he could also sense the despair hidden beneath his wife's teasing. He then wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her close, silently comforting her. Because despite the desire she had to do as if everything was okay, the distance Leia had put between them was pretty hard to accept. She couldn't understand why the little girl wasn't accepting hugs or kisses or any kind of affection from her mom, because she would always spend so much time with her when her daughter was still a baby and was still searching for her company. She'd treated her the same way she'd treated Liam, and seeing her reactions was hurting her. She seemed to love Killian so much, but was so distant with Emma, and it wasn't very easy to bear. She sighed, and forced herself to smile, refusing to show her family how impacted she was. Her meeting with Jasmine, Aladdin and Salim had already been hard enough like this, she didn't need to torture herself even more.

They quite quickly left the loft to go back to their house. Leia's horrible mood led to a few tantrums that left them exhausted, and it's only when Liam and the little girl were finally asleep upstairs that Emma found the time to talk with Killian about the conversation she'd had with the new people in town. Since she'd won her bet,they were busy putting the leftovers from Granny's in the fridge for them to eat later when she said almost as if it wasn't anything important :

"I went to see Jasmine, Aladdin and Salim today." She started, sitting on the kitchen counter to face Killian.

"What?"

He almost dropped the plates he was holding at this revelation, and she looked at him with a sorry smile, before reaching to put the dirty items in the sink beside her, avoiding them to break on the ground. She then looked up and continued, smiling at him to soothe him as he was looking pretty alarmed by this statement.

"Before you start panicking, I only went to apologize."

"Apologize?" He repeated, looking more and more perplexed. "For what?"

"Well, for yelling the first time I saw them." She answered with patience, knowing it could be a big thing to accept for him. "It wasn't right to scream like that, and I wanted to tell them I was sorry. That's all."

"Why didn't you tell me before?" he asked in a low voice, leaning on the table to face her, looking a bit reassured but still as perplexed.

"Because I wanted to do this alone, and I knew that if I'd told you, you would have tried to come with me. Was I wrong?" She said with a little smile.

"No, you were right." he admitted, grinning back and looking deeply relieved nothing bad had happened. "What did they say?"

"Nothing, really." She shrugged. "But Jasmine doesn't seem to like me a lot."

That made him chuckle lightly. He left his spot on the table to approach her, and wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing his lips on her forehead.

"She's behaving strangely with you, you know." he said, caressing her back. "But she's not a mean girl. I can assure you this."

"I know." She said absent-mindlessly, already half lost in her thoughts.

She wasn't able to chase away this feeling that something important was happening. She didn't know how to react facing Killian's silence either. Because she wanted to give him his space, but she could see that something was bothering him. He was more distant, preoccupied, he was laughing less frequently, wasn't really teasing her anymore, and she knew that the nightmare he'd had that morning was linked to the last events. And even his silence meant something : he was always telling her everything. She couldn't help herself but worry about him, and she hated the fact she couldn't do anything to help him because she didn't know one damn thing about the situation.

"Love, you all right?"

He was still holding her, and seemed to notice something was odd. She looked up at him, wavering a bit. She wanted to ask him to talk to her about what was wrong, to tell her about his worry, but she was scared to provoke another fight. He'd already refused to talk, after all. And they'd made up, she didn't want things to get bad between them once again. She didn't want to be mad or sad anymore. But she was so worried, because she loved him so much. She then gathered her strength, and asked in a low voice.

"Killian, you would tell me if something was wrong, right?"

His expression changed for less than a second, and it didn't give her the time she needed to analyze his reaction. He had almost immediately put on his smile back, and he gently kissed her lips, as if to reassure her. Then, he said in a very soft voice :

"Of course I would tell you, my Swan."

Then he pulled her closer for a hug, as if to conceal a promise she knew was garbled. Because something was going on, even if she didn't know what. Her instinct was telling her this. But she also knew she couldn't force him to talk if he didn't want to, even if it was hurting her a bit. She needed to trust him. And she needed to ignore this fear she had that everything was going to change between them.

* * *

 **Here we go! Next chapter is taking place one week after this one, and Emma's pretty desperate about the entire situation... Hope to see you next week! :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks a lot to oncer4life11, paupaupi and Alexa for the reviews! :)**

 **I'm gonna answer some of your questions here guys! :) So Liam does have magic, but Leia doesn't (or not yet, we don't know hehe). As for the relationship between Leia and Emma, there isn't a particular reason as for why the toddler is acting that way. She's just a really stubborn little girl, but don't worry, this topic will be covered later in this story. I do promise you a happy ending! :)**

* * *

The week that had passed since that conversation had been a true nightmare for Emma, for several reasons, and she was feeling like she was going crazy. First of all, Leia was putting more and more distance between her and her mother, and she couldn't understand why because literally, nothing had happened between them. She would start yelling every time Emma would try to approach her, throwing huge tantrums when she would try to interact, and it was hurting Emma so much to see her little girl pushing her away like that, even if she wasn't admitting it to her family. But also, and she was feeling like this situation was taking every single part of her energy, she was horribly worried about Killian. He was acting strangely lately, and she knew why this was happening. He'd gone to talk with Jasmine, Aladdin and Salim several times, answering his friends' request, and if he didn't seem uncomfortable with them, she could see that he was more and more preoccupied with whatever they were asking him to do. And for some reasons, even if she was almost sure he wasn't noticing his own behavior, he was pushing her away too, avoiding her worried glances, talking less, smiling only when he was forced to do so. What was bothering Emma was not only all these secrets between them, all these things she knew important he was hiding from her, but also this feeling that he was getting closer and closer to Jasmine while he was barely even talking to her anymore.

So she was doing the only thing she could do when she was scared : to avoid getting even more hurt by this entire situation, she was feeling, despite her own desire to stop this old habit, her walls going right back up around her heart. After a few days spent at being rejected by her own husband, she was herself becoming more distant. She was talking less, was only eating when she was forced to, wasn't even sleeping anymore since she was spending her nights looking at the dark figure of Killian laying next to her, wondering what was happening to him, to them. She wanted the situation to get better, but she was stuck in an endless vicious circle. She didn't want to ask Killian what was happening once and for all either. She knew deep down it was only going to start a fight, and she knew she wouldn't stand them yelling at each other in addition to all of that. She didn't even know what to do to make things better anymore, and their date one week ago was seeming so far away, the happiness she'd felt then long gone. She was hating herself. She was feeling like a bad wife, a bad mother, a bad person. And she had literally no one to talk to, because no one would understand how she was feeling. She'd normally have gone to Killian, but he was the problem this time. She was feeling so alone while being so surrounded, and it was horrifying.

Despite his distance, Killian'd noticed that something was off with her, she could tell. Quite often, seeing that she wasn't touching her food and seemed lost in her dark thoughts, he would ask her if everything was all right. She would always answer the same thing : " _yeah, I'm fine", "Yeah, I'm just tired"._ She was hating herself for reacting that way, for pushing everyone away because she was feeling bad, what was only making her feel worse. She could see he was worried – less than usual, though, because he'd have insisted even more for her to talk to him, if everything had been normal. Maybe the fact he was concerned meant he was still caring about her despite the distance he was putting between them. Right? She wanted to believe this. But she wasn't managing to talk to him, she was too afraid to get hurt again because this time, if she didn't protect her heart, she didn't know what would happen to her. And what would she tell him? _I don't want you to see Jasmine anymore, I can see there's something weird between the two of you, and there's something you're not telling me._ It would only make him mad. And she didn't want to seem like a jealous woman by forbidding her husband to see his friends. It would only worsen things. She was already feeling bad enough like that.

"Come on, drink. It'll make you feel better."

She suddenly looked up to meet the worried glance Killian was offering her. He was handing her a cup of hot cocoa with cinnamon, knowing this drink was always making her feel better. She accepted his offer, thanking him but not smiling a bit. She was sitting on their living room couch, her legs bent to her chest, curled up on herself as if she was trying to protect herself from something. Henry and Liam were playing in the backyard, while Leia was taking her nap. Her oldest son had decided to spend the day with his brother and sister, while it was normally the week he was spending at Regina's. He was staying with her quite often, lately, knowing that something was off, but not asking a single question. He knew her so well, he knew that if he'd asked anything to her, she would have pretended that everything was fine. But thanks to his consent presence, she knew that she wasn't alone, even if she was refusing to let her kids know how she was feeling. Their small talks were actually managing to make her feel a bit better, day after day.

Lost in her thoughts, she drank a sip out of the burning hot mug, and saw Killian sitting down beside her from the corner of her eyes. He was staring at her, frowning, as if she was a wild animal he was trying not to scare away. He always knew how to talk to her, usually, and his reaction was proving her that the situation was really bad, what was making her so damn sad.

"What's wrong, Swan?"

He'd finally started to talk after a long while spent in silence, in a low, gentle voice. She sighed, bending to put her mug on the coffee table, wrapping her arms around her legs and turning her head to look at her husband. She had the unpleasant feeling she was sounding like a broken record :

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"Not you're not." He insisted. "Look, Emma, I know you. I can see that you're not your usual self. Please tell me what's happening in that head of yours. You seem sad, and I just want to help you."

She was tired of pretending that everything was okay. She shrugged, looking down to avoid his gaze. He had no idea he was the reason why she was acting that way, did he? As she was hoping he would give up and go on with his day, he suddenly grabbed her forearm, what made her startle a bit. She turned to look at him again, wondering what had gotten into him, her eyes wide in question.

"Talk to me, Emma!" He begged, almost shaking her a little.

"There is nothing to say." She answered without trying to avoid his grip, her voice low with fatigue. "I'm just tired, that's all."

"I don't believe that for a second." He answered, shaking his head. "We're a family, sweetheart. You can tell me anything."

... _while you don't want to tell me what's bothering you in the first place_ , she thought. His comment awakened her anger, because he didn't have the right to ask her this while he was hiding everything from her. If she had to trust him, it was going both ways. She then freed herself from his grip, almost violently, and looked down again, feeling him tensing up beside her.

"I am all right, Killian." She replied with impatience, before hastily and awkwardly changing the subject, because she didn't want to start yelling at him, and it was going to happen if he was going on like this. "You remember we're going to eat at my parents' tonight, right? We have to get the kids ready soon, we can't be late."

He didn't say anything, and she felt his stare burning on her skin for a few seconds, but refused to look back. Then, suddenly, he approached her to tug her closer and hold her tight against his chest. She was surprised at first, he wasn't looking for these kind of gestures lately. But despite her desire to resist, to walk away so he would feel the same pain as her, so she wouldn't get hurt once again, she accepted his hug and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face into the crook of his neck to breath him in. She was in pain, but she wanted to feel him against her. It was giving her the illusion that she wasn't losing him, that he would stay by her side, and it was making her feel better.

He held her for a long time, running his fingers up and down her spine. He kissed her neck, then his lips got up to meet her cheek, and he pressed his forehead against hers, still holding her tight as if she was going to run away.

"I can see that you're not okay. But whatever's happening, I love you. Don't ever forget that, all right?"

Hearing him say those words made her heart flutter and, for a brief second, she held him even closer, as if he'd been a lifesaver in the middle of a storm. Then she convinced herself she had to let him go : it was only going to hurt her even more if he was still so close to Jasmine, and so distant with her, despite what he was saying. It was just words, only actions could speak the truth after all. She then pulled away, and forced herself to smile, just a little bit so he would stop asking questions. But he seemed to notice she was faking it, and he frowned as she was getting up, saying :

"I'll go get the kids."

He looked at her walking away with pure pain in his eyes, as if he was feeling like she was going away forever.

* * *

Sitting at her parents' table, lost in her thoughts, Emma was busy playing with her fork, that she was running over and over again through her mashed potatoes without really eating the food in front of her. She wasn't hungry, she was even feeling a bit sick. Despite her husband's affirmation that same afternoon, she wasn't feeling better at all. The sadness was stronger than ever, and was twisting her stomach, preventing her from eating anything. She was barely listening to the conversation her parents and Killian were sharing, lost too deep inside her dark thoughts. She was wondering for how long this situation would last, for how long she would have to stand this horrible feeling that she was all alone. She didn't know how to act anymore, she didn't know what to do, and she wanted to start crying, because it was all too much to take.

"Emma?"

Hearing her mom's voice, she looked up, surprised to see that Mary-Margaret was looking at her, her brows together in an awfully concerned expression. Emma opened her mouth to say something, anything to erase this worried frown, but when she noticed that she'd gotten her attention, her mom asked before she could start talking :

"You're not eating, honey?"

"I'm not hungry." She answered with a slight smile to comfort her mother, pushing her untouched plate away from her.

"Swan, you're barely eating for days now." Killian intervened, sitting beside her and busy helping Leia with her food. "It's really not healthy. What's going on?"

"I must be sick or something. It's probably just a bug." Emma lied, shrugging for them to shut up and leave her alone with her dark thoughts. "It'll pass eventually."

Her dad looked at her for a few seconds, and seemed to guess she wasn't feeling comfortable with this topic, because he turned to Neal to start talking to the little boy. Emma felt grateful for David's thoughtfulness, but her mom wasn't that easy to convince. She kept staring at her daughter for an uncomfortably long time, then asked :

"Emma, could you give me a hand in the kitchen, please?"

Emma sighed, knowing all too well that it wasn't a question, and that her mom didn't really need help, it was just an excuse to talk to her in private. But she also knew that Mary-Margaret wasn't going to give up and would force her to come with her if she needed to, so she got up without protesting and followed her to the kitchen area.

"Okay Emma, what's wrong?" She asked in a low voice so the other guests wouldn't hear their conversation – it was a small apartment after all.

"Nothing" she replied once again, looking down to avoid her perceptive gaze.

In order not to stay there doing nothing, Emma opened the fridge to fetch god knows what inside of it, hoping to put a stop to this conversation. But her mom didn't seem to agree with her plan. As she was peering at a bottle of wine – god, that was appealing to help her deal with this entire situation – Mary-Margaret grabbed the door and slammed it almost violently, making Emma startle. She looked at her mom, almost offended, and said, shaking her head :

"What the hell was that?!"

"Don't play smart with me, Emma." her mom ordered, her eyes narrowed in a threatening way. "I can see that something is off with you. Are you going to tell me whats going on or not?"

Emma sighed for what seemed like the thousandth time. She really didn't want to tell her mom about what was happening inside her head. If she wasn't confiding in Killian, while she was usually telling him everything, she was certainly not going to talk to Snow. She loved her, she really did, but keeping secrets was definitely not her strong suit, and the entire story would arrive to her dad, then to Killian before she could do anything about it. And her husband wouldn't be happy with learning her thoughts this way. And what the hell could she say, anyways? That she was _jealous_? That she was feeling like Killian was pushing her away, so she was walking away herself to feel like she was in control, to avoid getting hurt? All of this was making sense to her, but she was aware that it was going to sound stupid if she was telling those things out loud. And she didn't want her parents to get involved in this. She was an adult, she was going to make it all by herself, as she'd always done for her entire life. But the look her mom was giving her was also telling her she wouldn't accept another denial. Emma then answered as sincerely as possible, looking straight into Mary-Margaret's eyes :

"I just don't want to talk about it."

Her mom let go of a little sigh, and her lips briefly twisted in a focused expression. After a few seconds of silence, as if she'd deeply thought about what to say, she ended up taking both Emma's hands and saying in a gentle voice :

"Okay, baby. I get it, you know. I just hate to see you sad. But whatever happens, don't forget that you're not alone. You will never be again, understood?"

Then, without waiting for an answer, she pulled her closer for a hug, and Emma rested her head against her mom's shoulder. Mary-Margaret's arms would always manage to make her feel a bit better, to comfort her, and the way she was rubbing her back in a soothing back and forth was telling her that she wasn't lying, that, indeed, she wasn't alone. She was surrounded. The young woman celebrating her birthday alone in her cold apartment in Boston was gone. No one was never going to leave her again.

But it was also the feeling she had with Killian lately, like he was about to let her down. What if he was getting sick of their marriage? What if he'd just noticed her flaws and contradictions? What if he was getting closer to Jasmine because she was less complicated than her? What if he was slowly realizing he wasn't loving her as much as she was loving him?

Hardly holding her tears back, she buried her face into her mom's neck, trying to comfort herself as Mary-Margaret was whispering to her ear that everything was going to be just fine.

* * *

Emma Swan was finding herself unable to sleep. Staring at the ceiling above her head, she was revolving her dark thoughts for hours and hours already. She could hear Killian's steady breath ringing against the walls of the room as he was asleep beside her. Not once, during this horrible week, they'd fallen asleep wrapped into a tight embrace. It was usually never happening, they would always try to get as close as possible to each other. She was the one refusing his embraces, but it was still making her sad. He was respecting her desire to keep her space, though, understanding that she needed this, and she was feeling grateful that he wasn't trying to push her. Dozens of contradictory thoughts were crashing inside her brain, almost giving her a migraine. She wanted to take him in her arms, right now, she wanted to snuggle against his chest and forget about her pain, but she was so scared to get hurt again. She was feeling him pushing her away, so she was herself putting even more distance between them to give herself the illusion it was her decision and stop the pain from reaching her heart. She was herself finding all of this really complicated, and she had troubles understanding her own reactions. Because pushing him away wasn't making her feel better, quite the opposite, actually. She was reading pain in his eyes, and was feeling so, so alone it was giving her the constant desire to cry.

She turned her head to meet the screen of her alarm clock, shinning strangely into the darkness surrounding her. It was three in the morning. She was exhausted, but her sadness was preventing her from finding the sleep she needed. She just wanted to close her eyes, to forget about everything, just for a little while, but it was apparently impossible. Sighing, she convinced herself that staying there wouldn't be anything near useful, since she would probably stay awake all night long, so she got off her bed, careful not to wake Killian up. He was only going to ask her more questions, and she didn't want to answer. She knew she wouldn't be able to keep telling him she was all right for much longer, now. Eventually, she was going to explode, and it wasn't going to be pretty. It was most certainly going to start a new fight. Maybe provoke the end of their relationship, for all she knew, and she didn't want that to happen. She loved him, despite her pain and her feeling of betrayal, she loved him so damn much. She just wanted to find this yesteryear peace that she awfully missed.

She quietly made her way downstairs, her bare feet not making any noise on the cold floor. She didn't even know why she'd come there, except maybe to get away from Killian for a little while, because his presence was hurting her. She didn't know what to do to feel better anymore, she was feeling like the sadness was devouring her from the inside and it was horrifying. So when her eyes met the dark backyard through the window, she told herself a bit of fresh air would probably help. Sighing once again, quietly, though, in order not to wake her family up, she put on her red leather jacket and stepped into her snickers. She hadn't even bothered changing the leggings and wide, gray t-shirt she was wearing to sleep, and the cold of the night hit her like a punch when she opened her front door.

Despite the freezing weather, she stayed under the porch for a few minutes, just staring at the emptiness in front of her. She was still shaking but, somehow, it was making her feel better. So she started to walk to join the fence just in front of her house. Then she kept on going until she'd left the yard and joined the empty street. And after a few strange minutes, she was far away from her home, without really thinking about what she was doing, her legs acting on their own initiative.

Hands sunk deep inside her pockets, a little bent to protect herself from the violent wind, she was walking quickly in the dark streets of Storybrooke, barely enlightened by a few street lights on her way. Far from being afraid of the dark, seeing these usually noisy and crowded places completely empty was soothing her. She was feeling like she was in a ghost town. Just her, the wind and the cold floor underneath her feet. She wasn't the same person anymore. She wasn't the savior. She wasn't the sheriff who needed to help everyone. She was just Emma, a young woman feeling a bit lost, wondering why everything had suddenly fallen apart in her life while she was so happy.

Her steps brought her to the opposite side of the town without her even realizing it. It's only when she arrived there that she realized she was starting to get very, very cold and that she hadn't thought about taking her cellphone with her, thinking she was just going out for a few minutes at the time. She shrugged. Feeling her skin hurt because of the cold, that seemed to reach her bones, was making her feel good. And who would try to call her in the middle of the night anyways? Everyone was asleep.

She still decided to head back for her house, realizing she was already walking for a very long while. And what if one of the kids had gotten sick, what if Liam'd had one of his nightmares again and she wasn't there to comfort him? She needed to go back. And she needed to try and sleep for a while, because she knew she wouldn't be able to keep going like that for much longer. Barley eating, not sleeping, it was taking all her strength away and feeding her dark thoughts. She needed to pull herself together. She needed to start trusting Killian and stop being scared. She couldn't keep on pushing him away like this, because instead of protecting her heart, like she'd hoped it would, it was only hurting her even more. And this entire situation would not last forever, she thought. Jasmine would end up going back to her realm when she would understand that Killian wasn't going to accept her request. She would disappear, then, and everything would go back to normal. She really hoped so, anyways, because not knowing what had brought Jasmine and Killian together in the first place was driving her nuts, and this bound, obviously strong, that they were sharing was seeming so threatening to her.

She took a long time to get back to her place – she'd definitely gone way too far without paying attention to it – time she used to fight against her own doubts. Killian loved her, she knew it, it was obvious. And even if she couldn't understand why he was taking his distance from her, he probably had a good reason to do so, and she could see he was caring about her by the way he was staring at her with fear in his eyes lately. They'd gone through so much together, after all. They'd even defeated death itself. They could overcome anything. She was going to make it, to let him back in her heart, she was going to fight against her walls and break those secrets between them. Oddly enough, though, despite all of these good resolutions, she was still feeling sad, so sad she was feeling like she could start sobbing any minutes now.

She got interrupted in her thoughts by a strange detail drawing her attention. Peering at the dark surrounding her, she realized her dad's car was parked in front of her house, and she frowned, deeply intrigued. It had to be around four or five in the morning now – she couldn't be sure since she hadn't taken a watch with her. What was David doing in her house in the middle of the night? Bending toward the house to see more clearly, she noticed that the lights were on downstairs. Her heart skipped a beat, a bad feeling taking place in her veins. She rushed up the stairs to open the front door, terrified at the idea something bad had happened to one member of her family during her short absence.

It's only when she walked into the warm of the hallway, closing the door behind her to keep the cold at bay, that she realized how hard she'd been freezing the entire time. The thermal shock made her teeth clash inside of her mouth as she was wrapping her arms around herself to try and be a bit warmer. Turning back, she took a step forward, determined to understand what the hell was wrong, but she didn't have the time to do anything else. She'd been there for only a few seconds that someone was already throwing themselves against her and was pulling her into a tight embrace. She startled at first, but she ended up recognizing Killian's familiar smell, and she stayed still for a bit, not knowing what to do nor what was happening for him to react that way. She still ended up wrapping her arms around him for a brief moment, but he pulled away a second later to stare at her, as if he was searching for an answer in her gaze. He cupped her cheek, and looking at him more carefully, she could see at his red eyes that he'd cried.

Her first impulse was to comfort him, and she wrapped her own fingers around his wrist, a lump stuck inside her throat. "Killian? What's wrong?"

What if something had happened to one of the kids, and she hadn't been there to protect them? What if one of them was hurt? What if something really bad had happened, because it was the only explanation to why Killian was looking so appalled? She searched for his eyes to understand something, anything, but he didn't even seem to have heard her. He was too busy staring at her as if she was coming right back from the dead.

"Thank god, you're okay." David then said, standing a bit away from where Emma and Killian were, staring at his daughter with an expression of pure relief painted on his face.

She shook her head, confused. She wasn't getting it. They were both looking so relieved, as if they'd thought something had happened to her. But she was fine, why would they react that way? She opened her mouth to ask for more information on the matter, but she didn't have the time to say anything. Killian started to talk again, in a shaky voice that made her heart ache and gave her the will to hold him tight and never let him go.

"Are you all right? You're not hurt, right?" He added peering at her as if to make sure she was okay. "God, you're freezing."

"Wait, I don't get it..." She started, but she got once again interrupted by her father, who approached her to place a thick blanket around her shoulders.

She accepted the heat the item was providing with a little sigh of pleasure, and released her grip on Killian's wrist to wrap the blanket tighter around herself. She frowned again, more and more confused at the way they weren't leaving her sight for a second. Why were they looking so worried? Why had they thought something was wrong with her? Sure, she hadn't taken her cellphone, and hadn't left a note to warn Killian she was gone, but her car was still parked in front of the house and they should have guessed she hadn't gone that far. She hadn't walked for that long either, maybe for a little bit more than an hour, and she wasn't getting this concern she was reading in their eyes.

As the quiet had filled in the room, David approached her to press a tender kiss on her freezing forehead. He rubbed her back for a bit, as if he'd been scared to never see her again, and stated in a gentle voice :

"I'll leave you to it. I have to go tell Snow that you're back and that everything is okay."

Then, without waiting for an answer, without waiting to hear those questions that were burning her lips, he disappeared into the darkness of the night, closing the door behind his back. The house was so quiet, the kids sleeping soundly, and Killian's jerky breath seemed to ring against the walls. She looked back at her husband. He hadn't let her go, letting his hand fall on her shoulder as if he wanted to make sure she was going to stay there and wasn't going to disappear. He was still staring at her as if she was a kind of angel coming right from heaven. She tilted her head on its side, wondering what the hell was happening, and finally asked :

"Why were you both looking so worried?"

"Why?" Killian repeated as if she'd just asked the stupidest thing possible.

He shook his head and took her hand. She laced her fingers with his, waiting for explanation that would give her some answers. He tugged her closer to him and led her to the living room, making her sit on the couch, her blanket still tightly wrapped around her. She was finally starting to get a bit warmer, and she buried herself into the item even more. He settled next to her, and placed his hand on her thigh, gently rubbing her skin with his thumb.

"You're asking me why I was so worried? Swan, come on, you disappeared without telling me anything!"

"Killian, it's not like it was the first time it happens." she said in a voice she hoped was comforting. "You know I like to take walks when I can't sleep. I don't always tell you where I'm going, and you always seem okay with that..."

"Yeah, but you usually leave a note and take your cellphone with you!" He protested, and she placed her hand over his to calm him down, hoping it would help erase this worry shinning deep inside his eyes. "I thought something had happened to you! God, I was so scared..."

He was looking so sad, his eyes shinning with unshed tears. Deciding she wanted to break this distance between them, and just wanting to reassure him because seeing him like that was unbearable, she kept her hand over his and, with the other one, she cupped his jaw to peer right into his eyes. He sighed and pushed himself into her touch, the contact of her skin seeming to finally soothe him a bit. She was feeling so bad for going away like that, now that she was seeing him in such a state of panic. He'd been terrified, it was obvious. But she hadn't wanted to make him feel bad, she'd genuinely thought he wouldn't wake up and she wouldn't go that far. She said in a low voice, gentle and a bit shaky from seeing him in such distress.

"God, I'm so sorry, babe. You were sleeping, and I didn't think about the fact you could wake up. I just needed some fresh air, and I didn't think I would be gone for so long. It was just an impulse, and I'm so sorry if you got worried, really."

"It's just that... When I woke up and I didn't find you next to me in bed, I just thought you'd gone downstairs. Then you weren't there, and I panicked. I called your father, and you weren't coming back and I thought... I thought I'd lost you for good. I thought I would never see you again and you were gone."

She frowned at that, not understanding his last sentence but deeply touched by the tears appearing more and more clearly in his eyes, as if he was about to start crying. Her yellow bug was still there, he should have guessed that she hadn't left the town, she couldn't have gone far by foot. She lifted her hand up and started running it through his hair, knowing this gesture always had the power of calming him down.

"Killian, my car is still in front of the house." She whispered. "you know I wouldn't go far like that, without warning you. I wouldn't run away, you know that, right? I'm not leaving you, not ever." She was babbling now, saying whatever he needed to hear to feel better, because she couldn't stand seeing him like that.

"It's just that I thought something had happened to you, you know this bloody town, you never know what could happen. And I can't lose you, especially not now. Not while we're barely talking to each other anymore. Not while I feel like I've already lost you..."

She blinked several times, perplexed. They were so close to each other she could actually feel his heart beating so fast in his chest. How could he have thought he'd lost her, she was staying there, by his side, always. Sure, she was distant lately, but it certainly didn't mean she didn't love him anymore. Quite the opposite, really.

"Hey, sweetie." She said in a very soft voice. "What makes you think you're losing me? I'm staying right there, I'm not going anywhere. You are not going to lose me, I promise."

"It's just that you seem so unhappy lately, and I'm unable to reach you. I can't even help you with whatever you're going through, and it's driving me crazy. I feel like you're going to disappear, and I won't be able to do anything to hold you back."

His confession hit her so hard she felt dizzy for a second, and she let her hand fall back on his lap, utterly confused. Of course, she was unhappy, lately. But she also knew it was just a bad time to get through, she knew things would get better eventually. And now, she was feeling so guilty for trying to push him away. He'd actually thought he was losing her, while she just loved him so much, and she didn't want to get hurt. But she'd hurt him instead, she hadn't thought she would have since he was looking so distant. She realized she had been wrong to react that way. It wasn't a solution, and it was only hurting them both even more. She'd never wanted that, she'd never wanted him to be in pain. So, finally, after days spent in the dark, all her emotions came back to the surface and she started to cry.

She wasn't crying that often, only when things were really bad, and she felt him stiffing up beside her. He moved, as if to run his hand through her hair, but stopped, probably scared she would push him away again. But she'd had enough, she wanted him, she wanted his arms and his comfort. So she approached him and he took her against his chest, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as she was sobbing against his shoulder. They stayed silent for a while, then he started to talk, and she heard at his shaky voice and at his panting that he was also crying against her.

"Look, I know you probably don't want to tell me what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours. And I respect that, darling, even if I want you to know that you can tell me anything. I just want to help you. But if you want to keep that to yourself, it's your choice and that's okay. But I want things to get better between us, all right? I just can't stand seeing you pushing me away like that. I can see that you're hurt and unhappy and I can't do anything to help and it's just unbearable. You're the love of my life, Emma, and I just want you to be happy. I'm your husband, and I should be able to provide this happiness, and I'm so sorry if I failed. God, I love you so bloody much, I just want to see you smile again. Whatever happens, don't ever forget that I'm here, I'll always be there, and I love you. All right, sweetheart?"

She wanted to answer something, she wanted to thank him for being there and promise him they would make things okay between them. Maybe they could even have an adult conversation about her fears, her feeling that she was losing him, these secrets that were driving her mad. She wanted to, more than anything. But she was just crying too hard. So she held him so tight, and managed to whisper through her tears.

"I know. You're not losing me. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I love you, too."

She heard him sigh, as if he was so relieved to hear those words, and he kissed her forehead, holding her so close she didn't even know where she was ending and where he was beginning anymore. He rocked her against him for a very long time, both crying together at the fact they were back in the other's arms, at the fact they hadn't lost each other. Then Emma ended up falling asleep, completely exhausted by this night as he was whispering in her ear how much he loved her over and over again.

* * *

 **Okay guys, that was quite an emotional chapter, and I'm only starting! I hope you liked this, see you next week! :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks a lot to ellegirlie77 and Alexa for the reviews! :)**

 **Guys! Publishing this chapter is vaguely terrifying for me haha. Seriously, I'm covering a topic that I've never done before, and I don't really know if it's good or not. I really enjoyed writing this though, so I hope you'll like it! See you at the end of the chapters for more notes because I have a few things to say hehe! :)**

* * *

Emma woke up the next morning snuggled against Killian's chest, her eyes a bit painful because of all the tears that she'd shed the night before. She blinked several times, trying to clear her blurred vision, and she needed a second to realize she wasn't on the couch anymore. She was in her bed, and immediately guessed that Killian had probably carried her to the bedroom while she was sleeping, keeping her against him as if he'd been scared she would disappear again. Not wanting to break their embrace - feeling him close was so comforting - she snuggled a bit closer to him. In his sleep, his arms squeezed her even tighter, and she placed her head just underneath his chin to be able to feel his heartbeats.

Sleeping had made her feel so much better. Her mind was now clear, and the conversation she'd shared with Killian had done her good. He'd promised her he loved her, and she was believing him, because the worry she'd read in his eyes as he'd thought he would never see her again was real. Crying had also released all this pain she was keeping inside for days, and she was now realizing that pushing her husband away like that hadn't been a solution. She'd made them suffer, both of them, and this needed to stop. Even if his secrets were hurting her, she couldn't keep on putting her walls up. She didn't want to anymore.

She stayed still for another long while, thinking about her situation, promising herself that she wouldn't run away from her feelings anymore, before feeling Killian starting to fuss beside her. He ran his fingers up her spine, and she then understood he was awake. She reached to stroke his hair, looking up at him to meet his eyes, still swollen with sleep. They were still glued to each other, and she just wanted to stay like this forever. She was feeling safe and loved, all those things she'd missed during the past week. He smiled at her, then gently pressed his lips against the thin skin of her forehead, as she was closing her eyes to enjoy the touch. She sighed, just happy to find herself in his arms again. She buried her face into the crook of his neck to breathe him in, then looked up again after a couple of minutes. She knew he hadn't left her sight the entire time, and he was looking so happy she wasn't refusing his strokes anymore.

"Good morning, love." He finally said in a low voice. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay." She answered on the same low tone, tickling the back of his neck. "And I'm so sorry for yesterday. For going away, then for crying like that. I really didn't mean to worry you."

"It's all right, lass." he said, peering at her as if to make sure she was really fine, and she wasn't lying to him. "Everything's all right, now. You don't need to apologize."

"I really do." she insisted. "I feel so bad about what happened..."

"Hey, Swan, you don't need to feel guilty, okay?" He gently cut her off. "We're all right, we are together now. I'm just happy you're here."

On that note, he tilted his head to press a slow, tender kiss on her lips. She kissed back, a bit absently though, lost in her thoughts. If she was feeling guilty for scaring him so much, and if she wanted things to get better between them, her sadness was still there. Because what'd happened the night before hadn't changed the fact that he was hiding things from her, nor the fact that he was so close to Jasmine. She wanted to work things out, but the main problem was still there. And, once again, she couldn't tell her husband anything. She didn't want to fight, and she wasn't sure she would be able to recover from another violent argument given the state of despair she was in. He seemed to notice something was wrong, because he started to talk again, very, very softly.

"Are you sure you're okay, love? You seem vexed."

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just..."

She interrupted her sentence as an idea was suddenly crossing her mind. She thought about it for a second, and he patiently waited for her to continue, still rubbing her back, as if to show her he was there and he wasn't going anywhere, he would stay by her side, always. He put his chin on the top of her head, holding her even closer, and she finally said in a soft voice, deciding her thought was definitely a good one.

"Do you think it would be a good idea for us to go out tonight? Just the two of us, you know. We could go eat somewhere in town, then maybe go on the beach or have a drink at Granny's? What do you think?"

She'd thought about that while remembering their date, a week prior, even if it was looking so far back now. She hadn't felt in peace since that wonderful night, and in a somewhat desperate thought, she'd told herself that maybe doing all of that again would make things okay between them. Not that they were mad at each other, but she needed to start trusting him again, and a moment spent just the two of them would help her doing so. She felt him smile, he moved to look at her in the eyes, and she could see his eyes shinning with pure happiness. He obviously seemed to like this idea a lot. He kissed the tip of her nose, what made her smile slightly, and answered :

"I would love to spend a night with you, my Swan."

He didn't add anything, and she curled up in his arms again, feeling a bit more peaceful now that he'd accepted her offer. After a couple of minutes, as she was still feeling his gaze burning on her skin, she asked, intrigued by the intensity of his stare :

"Is something wrong?"

"No, of course not. I'm just happy to hold you again. I've missed you so much."

Her smile finally widened, and she kissed his neck, earning herself a little sigh of encouragement as she was gently running her mouth on his skin. Her heart had stopped aching at his touch, at his look and smile, and she knew what she had to do. She had to keep her fears and doubts at bay, for her own well-being and for her family. Killian loved her. It was obvious, and he'd proved it dozens of times already. His worry the night before and his happiness of holding her now was only strengthening this statement. He loved her, and he wasn't going to let her down. She had to convince herself of that, she had to trust him. She had to stop her walls from going right back up. And if there wasn't anything harder than fighting against yourself, she would make it, with the help of those she loved. She was strong, and brave, and eventually, she would win this fight. She wanted to believe it.

They stayed for a long time just holding each other, in silence, enjoying their simple embrace. She'd felt him pushing her away, and she'd herself put so much distance between them, probably more than she'd ever done since they'd started dating. So, for the two of them, feeling the other's touch was a big, wonderful thing. When she was snuggled in his arms, it was easier to convince herself everything would end up being okay.

"Mommy!"

"Daddy!"

They both sighed at the same time, aware that their quiet moment had just ended. Before leaving her to go fetch Leia, as she was doing the same for Liam, he took the time to press a little peck on her lips, placing his hand on the small of her back to pull her closer. This last kiss finally convinced her that everything was all right again. And she was hoping, more than anything, that she wasn't wrong on that matter, because she didn't know what would happen to her otherwise.

* * *

The peace Emma'd felt when she'd woken up in Killian's arms was already half gone by the time she reached the breakfast table, only fifteen minutes later. She'd tried to give Leia a good morning kiss, but the little girl had completely rejected her once again, and it had only made her dark thought resurface. She saw the sorry glance Killian threw her way as she was sitting on a chair, rubbing her eyes and trying not to start crying. Her husband leaned to admonish Leia because of her behavior, but this method had never seemed to work, so Emma couldn't see why it suddenly would now. Maybe the little girl was feeling her nervousness and was therefore trying to escape the tension, but it was still hurting her so much. She'd took care of Leia the exact same way she'd done with Liam, with the same love, and hugs, and comfort, she'd tried to give her anything a kid could need, but it was never enough. The little girl seemed to have no affection whatsoever for her, and it was horrifying, because Emma loved her daughter so damn much.

With this event, her brain started to race again, the sadness took its place back in her heart, and she felt her despair coming right back with a surprising violence. She wanted to believe that everything was okay between her and Killian but, deep down, she knew it was only an illusion. Because they had secrets for one another, what hadn't happened for so long. They'd promised they would stop hiding things from each other long ago and they were breaking this vow right now. He didn't want to tell her about his story with Jasmine, and she didn't want to admit how much it was hurting her. And it was creating a huge tension between them that she couldn't stand anymore.

She sighed once again, leaning against the back of her chair. She looked up from the table when Killian put a plate containing a waffle covered with fruits and sugar in front of her. She had a small smile, he hated for her to start the day with so much sugar, and this gesture meant he only wanted her to feel better. However, her stomach was twisted because of her sadness, and she said in a somewhat muffled voice :

"That's sweet, Killian, but I'm not hungry anymore."

"Swan, come on, you love waffles." He said in a saddened tone.

She shrugged, not knowing what to add. She was almost feeling sick to her stomach because of this entire situation. He then sat down, facing her, and took her hand, that was nervously playing with the blue tablecloths. Without even having to think about it, her fingers naturally intertwined with his, and he started to stroke her skin with his thumb in a soothing gesture. He waited for her to look at him before saying in a soft voice :

"Emma, love, I know you find it hard to eat when you're sad, and I understand that, but can you at least try? It's been days since you've had a real meal, and I'm worried about you. It's not healthy to stay like that. Can you eat at least a little? Can you do that for me?"

He was actually asking her this, and she slowly nodded, knowing that he was right. He smiled at her, as if she'd just made him really happy, and he leaned above the table to kiss her lips. She felt her body relax at his touch, and deepened the kiss for a few more seconds, trying to calm herself down a bit. When he pulled away, she was determined to keep her promise, because he was now looking so glad she didn't feel like making this beautiful smile disappear. She then grabbed her fork and, despite her painful stomach, she placed a strawberry in her mouth, trying to think about her date that night as a reward to face this day that had already started pretty badly.

* * *

"After you, princess." Killian said, bowing in front of her after opening the door of Granny's to let her in.

That made her giggle like a teenager, and she grabbed his hand as she was walking past him to tug him closer to her. They walked into the crowded diner together, trying to find a place to settle. A few of the dwarves were sitting at the bar, drinking beer, as some citizens were talking loudly, eating at the tables. A few of them waved at them, and she answered with a happy smile.

They ended up finding an empty booth in a corner of the room, not so far from the window. She'd barely had the time to sit that Killian already wrapped his left arm around her shoulder to pull her closer to him, as if he couldn't stand the fact they were separated, even if it was for a second.

If the day hadn't started very well for Emma, it had only gotten better and better, and her date with Killian had been absolutely perfect. She'd found all her good mood and appetite back as they went to eat in a restaurant – she even went for desert, what had seemed to please Killian a lot, because he hadn't stopped smiling once all night. They still had hours to spend together since the kids were sleeping at her parents' tonight, and she was now so happy that she'd had the idea of this date. She was feeling like they'd found each other again, and she wasn't being disturbed by her doubts anymore. She was just laughing at Killian's stupid jokes and was flirting with him as if it was their first night together.

As if to prove her right, he leaned forward to capture her lips, gently at first, then more and more passionately. She enjoyed the feeling of his mouth against hers, his tongue warm and soft. He was tasting like wine, and she opened her mouth to deepen the kiss even more. She giggled when their embrace became so demanding her head hit the wall behind her back. She was breathless, but didn't pull away for a second to catch her breath, not wanting to break this amazing feeling. It's only when her hands moved up his chest to meet his neck that they got interrupted by a familiar voice :

"Oh, get a room!"

They finally parted to turn and look at Leroy, who was staring at them from the stool he was sitting on, keeping their arms wrapped around one another. She winced at him as an answer, mocking him, and he rolled his eyes before turning back to his beer. Killian shook his head and chuckled, then, without paying attention to their friend, he leaned back to kiss her again. He only pulled away much later, leaving his arms around her waist to glue her to his chest

"I'm so glad to see you happy again, love." he said with so much gentleness she felt a shiver running down her spine. He then lifted his right hand up, tracing the dimple on her cheek, what made her giggle as the touch on her skin was tickling her. "I missed that beautiful smile of yours."

"Well, you're the reason why I'm smiling like this, babe." She replied, what made him kiss her once again.

When they parted, she cupped his head with her hand to stop him from pulling away, and rested her forehead against his, their noses brushing against one another in a tender gesture. She looked into his deep blue eyes to see them shine with pure happiness, and she thought to herself that she was so lucky to have found this wonderful guy. Right now, she wasn't scared to lose him anymore. His story with Jasmine didn't have any kind of importance to him, he'd promised her this. And as he'd said it himself, he'd chosen her, he was sharing his life with her, and they were happy. He'd chosen to marry her and have kids with her, he loved her, she knew it. And Jasmine was married to Aladdin, and was obviously loving him very much. Her past had just resurfaced for a bit, her fear of being left alone again had made her feel bad for a while, but she didn't need to be scared. He was there, he wasn't going to leave her. The rings shinning at their fingers were promising her this.

Little did she knew that the fragile balance they'd managed to find together was about to crumble.

"Very well" he ended up saying against her lips. "What about we order some drinks? Then, we'll go on with this at home. What do you think?"

"I think this is a wonderful idea you have there, captain." She said with a charming smile.

He grinned at that and winked at her before pressing a last quick peck on her lips. He turned, gesturing to get off his seat, before stopping right there, and that made her frown in confusion. She didn't understand why he was suddenly reacting like that, but he turned back to show her something at the back of the diner. As she was searching to see what was making him grin like that, he said, making everything clear :

"There is Jasmine, Aladdin and Salim back there. Maybe we should go and say hi?"

She immediately felt her heart tightening in her chest, and did her best not to show him how she was feeling inside. He was looking way too happy to see this woman, and she forced herself to repeat some of her past thoughts in her head. _Trust him. Don't be jealous. He loves you. Hes not going to leave you_.

But she had to admit that she really didn't want to go and greet those people. Not while their night had been so good, not while she was having so much fun. She was too scared it would wake her bad mood up, and she didn't want to ruin everything. She then forced herself to smile and said, a bit of bitterness clearly noticeable in her voice :

"Go. I'll order the drinks already."

"You're not coming with me?" He seemed surprised, raising an eyebrow at her in question.

"I'd rather go to the bar." She replied, as normally as possible, and Killian seemed to noticed something was off with her.

"You sure you okay, Swan?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She lied with a fake smile.

He stared at her for a few more seconds, obviously trying to understand what was wrong with her. She didn't want to seem like a jealous girl, she was trying to fight against herself even if it was hard, so she leaned to press a kiss on the corner of his mouth to convince him. That gesture seemed to comfort him, because he ended up getting up, still holding her hand in his.

"Okay, it won't take long."

"I'm waiting for you to start." She promised and, as he was walking away, she tried to ignore the painful feeling in the pit of her stomach

Trying to pull herself together, she took a few seconds before getting up as well and approaching the bar with a little sigh. She forced herself to stay calm and not seem nervous as she ordered a bottle of rum to Granny, who smiled at her without noticing the storm raging inside her chest. She nervously tapped against the counter, waiting for her order to arrive. Then she couldn't help herself : she turned to look at the back of the diner, trying to see what was happening there.

She had to bend backward and stand in an uncomfortable way to finally see Killian, who'd joined his friends. Through the crowd, she saw him hugging Jasmine, who seemed way too happy to see him and held him tight against her. Her breathing got stuck in her chest, as her hands were holding the counter so tightly her knuckles turned white. Trying to calm the rage she was feeling awakening inside of her, she forced herself to take some deep breaths, shutting her eyes to escape her surroundings for a few seconds.

 _Calm down, girl._ She ordered to herself. S _he's only his friend. He's allowed to have friends, you got nothing to fear. She's married. He loves you. Nothing is going to happen between them._

"Emma, you all right?"

She got interrupted in her inner speech by Granny, and she opened her eyes to see her friend staring at her with worry in her gaze. Placing the bottle of rum and two glasses in front of her, she peered at her, as if to make sure she wasn't going to faint. She forced herself to smile and pretend everything was okay, she didn't want her friend to know what was happening inside her mind. She nodded, saying in a voice a bit too muffled to be completely convincing : "Sure, I'm fine".

Luckily, Granny seemed to give up and shrugged, probably thinking that what was happening inside of the sheriff's head was none of her business. She walked away, going back to her lasagnas as Emma was heading for her table with her bottle and her worries.

For the first few minutes, she forced herself to look away from Killian, because she knew that seeing him with _her_ was only going to hurt her, and she didn't want to feel bad, not again. So she took the time to calm her heartbeats down, and shut this little voice in the back of her head telling her that she had to go get Killian and bring him back to her table, for her own good. But acting like that would probably have started another fight. She didn't want that to happen. She had to stay calm. She had to act like the adult she was.

But time passed, and when she looked down at her watch, she realized her husband had walked away not less than fifteen minutes earlier. Her heart skipped a beat. He'd promised her he would be back soon, and he was still gone. So she couldn't resist this time : she had to know what was going on. She finally looked at the back of the diner, trying to finally understand. She had to writhe to be able to see something, but when her eyes finally met his familiar figure, she almost fell off her chair because of how disturbing what she was witnessing was.

He was still there, standing back to her. He had an arm wrapped around Jasmine's shoulder, recreating this gesture he was doing with her so often, tugging her so close to him, way too close, actually. She was laughing at his jokes, in a flirting way that wasn't pleasing Emma at all. Aladdin, holding a bit back, wasn't seeming that disturbed by the situation, while Emma was feeling the anger burning inside of her, a deep feeling of betrayal twisting her guts. Her first impulse was to get up and go tell them just what she was thinking about their behavior, but she managed to hold herself back. She was only going to offer Jasmine more opportunities to mock her, and she needed to trust Killian. After all, Aladdin didn't seem worried, so that meant nothing bad was happening between Killian and Jasmine. She had to trust her husband, even if it was hard. She needed to

So she looked away from this horrible scene hurting her like hell, feeling tears of anger starting to appear in her eyes. As she was trying to fight her demons, trying not to start crying in the middle of the diner or walk away to go home and leave her husband right there, her eyes met the bottle of rum, laying on the table. She'd told Killian she would wait for him, but he'd promised to come back and he hadn't. It was his own fault. He didn't have to stay way too long with this woman despising her. And she needed this, to stifle this horrible pain raging inside her chest.

With a somewhat shaky hand because of all this anger she was keeping locked inside of her, she poured herself a shot of rum, and swallowed it in one big sip. She felt with delight the burn of the alcohol going down her throat, warming her chest up a bit. But that wasn't enough. She needed more to calm down, to forget this pain, just for a little bit. So she took a second shot, then, barely taking the time to put the glass down on the table, a third one. She didn't even took the time for the alcohol to start acting, she was too eager to stop all of this.

At her fifth glass, she started to get light-headed and a bit dizzy. She had the pleasant feeling she was floating around the room. And she was feeling good, so good. The pain had gone away. Finally She knew deep down she should have stopped there – she was already a bit drunk, after all. But she didn't. Pushed by an invisible impulse, she poured herself another glass, her hand shaking so much a bit of the liquid fell on the table. And then she stopped counting.

All she knew was that, a bit later, the bottle was only half full, and she was really, really dizzy. Everything was spinning around her, but she wasn't scared anymore. She was even feeling in a very good mood. She was about to start laughing uncontrollably at this entire situation. So what, after all, if he was leaving her to go find another woman? She could do the same, she wasn't going to stay there and watch him without doing anything.

Her vision blurred, she peered around the room. No one had noticed how drunk she was, there. Then her eyes met Salim's figure, who was leaning against one wall of the room, and seemed to be very bored. A wide smile spread on her lips. She was bored too, actually. And, pushed by the alcohol, she wanted to show Killian how it felt like to be let down by someone he loved. She was feeling good, now that she'd taken her decision. Almost at peace with herself. So she got up, almost falling but grabbing the table to steady herself, and with uncertain steps, she approached her husband's friend. Her cheeks were flushed, and her inhibition was long gone given the amount of rum running through her veins.

"Hey." She started in a slurred speech, facing Salim and invading his space without even noticing it.

He didn't seem confused or even surprised by how drunk she was. As an answer, he only looked up at her and nodded. For some reason, that made her giggle, and she said with amusement in her voice :

"You're not very chatty, are you?"

"Talking is not my strong suit." He admitted with a little shrug.

She couldn't remember hearing him talk once before but, again, she couldn't remember much at the moment. He had a deep and comforting voice, and that made her feel good. Her mind blurred because of the alcohol and determined to take her revenge on how bad Killian had treated her – god, how dared he, anyways? - she placed both her hands on Salim's chest and got even closer to him.

She didn't even realize how stupid this gesture was. She was too far gone to feel bad about it. Kindly, without even seeming to judge her about her behavior, he wrapped his hands around her wrists and said, forcing her to take a step back from him.

"You're drunk."

"I barely drank." She said in such a slurred voice she was anything but convincing.

"You are _very_ drunk, and you're married to Killian, who is my friend."

"Well, he doesn't mind hanging out with his _friend._ I don't see why I couldn't do the same."

"What are you both doing?"

She saw Salim looking up to meet Killian's gaze behind her shoulders. His familiar voice had just rung in her back, sounding a bit confused. Without letting go of Salim's hand, because she knew it would piss Killian off and, god helped her, she just wanted to make him react, she turned to look at him with a big smile and said loudly, without even noticing it :

"Killian, you're here! I was talking with your friend. He's nice."

"Swan, what's the matter?" he asked, frowning, trying to grasp what exactly was wrong with his wife.

"I think your wife has drunk a little bit too much." Salim said as if it was nothing, leading her hand away from him and presenting it to Killian, who took it and held it tight in his. "Maybe you should take her home."

She noticed Killian's gaze searching for her eyes, to see if Salim was right and if she was actually drunk. He was looking confused, and that made her giggle again. He shook his head, not believing what he was seeing. He was looking surprised, worried, and she thought she saw a bit of anger in his eyes but she couldn't be sure, because everything was still spinning in the room.

"How many drinks have you had?" He asked in a serious tone.

"Dunno. Two, three. Maybe a tiny bit more." She ended up admitting, seeing he wasn't convinced by her lie.

"What do you mean by _a tiny bit more_?"

She shrugged as an answer. She wanted to make him mad, but even if she'd wanted to, she wouldn't have been able to tell him how much she'd had to drink. Amused by his behavior, she laughed out loud. After all, it was his own fault if she'd started to drink in the first place. So his anger was not making her feel guilty at all, it was actually entertaining her a lot.

He grabbed her hand even tighter, and almost dragged her across the diner, letting go of a "sorry, mate" for Salim on his way. He stopped just before their now empty table, attracting a few curious glances from the clients around them. Finding the bottle half empty, he let go of her hand to brandish it in front of her face, as if it was a proof of something. She bit her bottom lip, finding all of this definitely really funny.

"How much rum was in the bottle when you started to drink, Emma?" he asked, looking as if he was about to get very mad.

"Why is that interesting to you?" She stuttered, still laughing.

"Bloody hell, I'm not kidding, Swan!"

She shrugged again, trying to look innocent. At this point, she was messing with him, but she couldn't actually remember how full the bottle was when she'd brought it back to the table. He let go of the bottle, then took her hand again to lead her to the bar, letting go of a little "God, you're impossible" mumbled under his breath. He was looking so mad now, but Emma thought he had it coming. If he'd wanted for her to not drink that much, he should have respected his promise of coming back sooner. His promise of not letting her down. If he had to be mad at someone, it was at himself.

"Hey!" He called Granny, who immediately turned to look at the couple, guessing that something strange was happening there. "When you gave Emma the bottle of rum, it wasn't completely full, right?"

"Well." The old woman answered, her brows together in confusion. "if I remember correctly, and I'm pretty sure I do, it was entirely full. Why are you asking?"

Emma saw Killian's expression getting even darker than it'd been before, his eyes shinning with pure anger. He grabbed her wrist even tighter, as if he wanted to bring her back to reality, and almost shook her a little as he was saying :

"You've drunk half of the bloody bottle? What were you thinking?"

She shrugged for the third time, not knowing what to answer. His anger seemed to get even stronger, if only it was possible. He was about to explode, she could tell. She'd almost never seen him that way. She stared at a vein palpitating on his temple as if it was the most entertaining thing she'd ever seen in her life.

"Wait." Granny intervened, looking a bit shocked by these news. "You mean she drank everything, all by herself?"

"Impressed?" Emma asked with a big smile on her lips. God, she was feeling so good, as if nothing could reach her anymore. She was free of all pain.

"You think I have to get her to the hospital?" Her husband continued, ignoring her completely. "It's a lot of alcohol. I'm scared she's going to pass out or something."

"It's a miracle she's still standing on her feet." Their friend answered, glancing at Emma as if to make sure she wasn't going to be sick. "Take her back home, give her a lot of water, and watch her to make sure she doesn't lose consciousness. If she does, call an ambulance and get her to the hospital as fast as possible. It's really important."

Emma saw Killian's expression getting from anger to fear at a breakneck speed, and he turned to look at her with a deeply worried expression on his face. He finally let go of her hand, cupping her cheek to peer at her eyes and make sure she was okay, but she couldn't focus on his face, so she smiled at him instead to comfort him. She couldn't understand why he was so worried. She was feeling good, so good that she almost refused the glass of water Granny gave her, but Killian forced her to swallow it. She hadn't felt like that in a long while, actually. And it was making her happy.

He thanked Granny for her help and the water, then led her to the front door, holding her with more gentleness, as if he was scared to hurt her. When they arrived on the patio, the coolness of the wind surprised her, and she burst out laughing, looking up at the sky above her head. Distracted, her legs shaking because of the rum, she tripped on an invisible obstacle, almost falling down on the cold ground. Killian caught her before she hit the sidewalk, helping her to steady herself. He moved to wrap his arms around her waist and help her walk, but she pushed him away, saying in a loud voice :

"Oh, I'm okay, you're worried for nothing! I can still walk!"

He only answered with an annoyed sigh that made her giggle again, but he surrendered and let her go, staying behind her in case she would fall again. Her yellow bug wasn't parked that far from the diner, and despite her uncertain steps, they joined the car pretty quickly. Once she arrived next to it, she moved to the driver door and asked :

"You got the keys?"

"Yes, Swan." He sighed again, obviously trying to keep calm, as he probably knew that arguing with a drunk woman wasn't going to do him any good. "And there is no way you're taking the wheel in the state you're in."

"Why?" She asked in a childlike voice, trying to open her door despite the fact it was obviously closed.

"Because you are bloody drunk, that's why."

"Oh, come on, I haven't drunk that much. Plus, you can't drive. You only got one hand." She giggled, finding her own teasing very funny while she knew he hated those jokes about his hand, and she was always making sure to not bother him with these reflections, but now she was too drunk to even pay attention to it.

"You want me to call your father?"

His threat banged into the air, and she stopped chuckling right away, staring at him in surprise. Her mind blurred by the rum, she was still conscious enough to know how her dad would react, seeing her in that state. He would be absolutely scandalized, he wouldn't trust her anymore, and she was going to hear about this for twenty years – _at least_. So she slowly shook her head, showing that she was giving up, and he gestured for her to sit on the passenger seat. She finally obeyed, and he took the wheel, looking completely confused by this entire and sudden situation.

The journey home happened in a tensed quiet. Deciding she had enough of this horrible tension crackling in the air, making the atmosphere thick between them, she pressed the button to turn the radio on. She immediately started to sing the tune ringing into the car, a bit out of tune though, but not realizing it one bit. With his hook, he pressed the button again, only a minute later, stopping the song in the middle of the chorus.

"Hey!" She protested, crossing her arms on her chest like a petulant child. "Rude!"

He didn't answer anything, and she leaned back against the back of her seat, mumbling under her breath about how annoying he was. The rest of the journey happened in a horrible quiet. The turmoil of the car made her a bit nauseous, but it wasn't enough for her to feel actually sick. It's still in a very good mood that she got out of her bug and entered the empty house, Killian following her. As she got up the stairs outside without any problem, she tripped on the first step inside of the house, everything spinning around her. He didn't say anything, only groaned again, and placed one arm underneath her knee and the other on her back to lift her up from the ground. She giggled again as he was carrying her, swinging her legs back and forth to feel the air on her now bare feet. He put her on their bed, and said in a cold tone, watching her like she was a child he was forced to watch :

"Can you put on your pajamas alone, or do you need help?"

"Who do you think I am?" She answered, gesturing to take off her blue shirt.

But, and it was not that surprising, really, she ended up getting stuck inside the piece of clothing and calling for his help. He approached her to help her put on yoga pants and a clean t-shirt, a bit too wide for her. He stayed sat face to her once he'd finished the job, staring at her with his brows together, chewing on the inside of his cheek as if he had no idea what to do with her. She smiled at him, running her thumb over his bottom lip as he was still looking at her with an expression she couldn't describe – and, quite honestly, she didn't care.

Without trying to understand more about this gaze he was throwing at her, she then leaned forward the press a kiss on his lips, the sudden desire of feeling him close to her burning in her lower stomach. But her mouth had barely had the time to brush against his that he gently, but firmly pushed her away, leaning back to avoid her touch. She felt her heart aching at this gesture, the alcohol not even managing to stop the pain of this denial. From as far as she could remember, he had never refused a cuddle coming from her.

"Not tonight." He said in a low voice as an explanation. "Not while you're like this."

"Like what?" She mumbled, perplexed, and tickling this sensitive spot behind his ear to try and change his mind on the direction the evening was taking.

"Swan, stop!" He ordered, looking deeply annoyed. He took her hand, stopping her from continuing her strokes, and she stayed still, surprised by the tone he'd used to talk. "Can you tell me what the bloody hell got into you? Can you tell me why you drank so much while we were having a good time? You could have finished at the hospital, you know."

"I just wanted to have fun." She justified herself, shrugging.

"But we were already having fun before you got drunk, Emma!" He said, forcing himself to stay calm, but the anger was still noticeable in his voice. "And going to find Salim like that, flirting with him, that was a low bow."

She got stiff and her lips parted, as she couldn't believed what he'd just told her. It wasn't fair. So, he had the right to flirt with Jasmine, to be all intimate with her, and she couldn't do the same? No, that wasn't right. He wasn't allowed to be mad at her. He had left her alone, he had broken his promise and let her down. She was feeling the rage burning inside of her chest like an erupting volcano.

"Because you have the right to flirt with fucking Jasmine, but I can't do the same thing with Salim?"

"What?"

He had startled because of how violent her blame had been, her voice ringing loudly into the room. He was looking sincerely destabilized by her words, as if he hadn't seen the situation the way she did until she'd throw her opinion at his face. She was feeling like she could punch a wall, because she was so damn mad at him for not understanding, for hurting her instead of protecting her heart like he'd promised her he would. She continued, almost yelling :

"You left me all alone to go with her!"

He shook his head, not looking like he was believing what he was hearing from her. He was looking so damn surprised by this, his eyes shinning with pure misunderstanding. He ended up whispering, in a somewhat shaky voice.

"Is that what this is all about? You're jealous?"

She didn't answer, and felt tears appearing in her eyes all of the sudden. All the anger was getting away from her body, and she was just feeling a pure, deep sadness that was taking all the place in her heart. Unable to hold herself back because of the alcohol, she started to cry, huge husky sobs shaking her shoulders. He didn't wait any longer to take her against him and hold her close, seeming surprised by her mood swing, but genuinely saddened by her tears. She wrapped her arms around his back too and buried her face into the crook of his neck, like a little girl seeking comfort.

"You were the only one supposed to stay with me. You were supposed to never leave me. Why does everyone always leave me at the end? Why am I never enough for anyone?"

He didn't say anything for a long, long time. When he started to talk again, his voice was shaking too, as if he was crying, but she couldn't be sure of it because she didn't want to look up. He held her even closer to his chest, as if to show her he was there and he wasn't going anywhere.

"I am so, so sorry, my love. I love you so much. I won't ever leave you, I promise."

She continued to sob against his shoulder and he rocked her against his chest until she'd fallen asleep in his strong, comforting arms.

* * *

 **Okay, so that's it for today! I actually wanted to explain why I chose to make Emma drink that much. Actually, she's gonna say it herself later on, Emma's always had a tendency of running away when she's hurt or scared. Here, she couldn't actually walk out of the diner so the alcohol gave her the opportunity to run away from her pain. As for the part with Salim, I wanted to show just how much she's hurt by Killian's behavior, and how much she wants to show him she's in pain because she can't say it out loud. I thought it was interesting to see how she was reacting while not having any kind of inhibition anymore.**

 **Concerning Killian, The part where Emma saw him with an arm wrapped around Jasmine is actually a big misunderstanding. He's definitely not cheating on Emma, don't worry, and it was just a friendly gesture that lasted for a few seconds. He actually lost tracks of time, and was so mad at Emma because he was scared she would end up getting really hurt by all this alcohol. Both made mistakes in this chapter, and I thought it was quite interesting to see all of that from Emma's point of vue.**

 **Anyways, I really hope you liked it! See you next week for another pretty emotional chapter! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**thanks a lot to oncer4life11, paupaupi, ellegirlie77, Alexa and Guest for the reviews! :)**

 **Okay, guys. I'm repeating myself here, but publishing this is still vaguely terrifying for me. Why do I do that to myself, my anxiety can't handle it. Seriously, though, I hope you'll like this still emotional chapter, see you afterwards for a few more explanations ! :)**

* * *

"Emma? Can you hear me, baby? It's time, you have to wake up..."

Killian's voice was sounding so soft and far away from her, but it didn't stop a sudden and absolute migraine from taking its place in her head as soon as he started to talk. She was scared to open her eyes, because she knew her pain would only get worse when her pupils would meet the slight morning light entering the room through the window. But she also knew she didn't have a choice. She could feel Killian stroking her back to help her get out of her sleep as gently as possible. She finally opened her eyelids, but regretted this choice immediately and let go of a groan of distress, pressing her hand against her eyes.

"I'm sorry to wake you up, sweetheart." Killian continued in a low voice, his hand going up to gently toy with her hair. "I thought maybe you'd like to get ready before I leave to get the kids."

She nodded, but didn't answer anything back. She wasn't feeling good enough to do so, anyways. She was grateful for this thought he'd had, though, because she really didn't want her kids to see her in a such a regrettable state. He continued to run his fingers through her hair, chasing a few strands away from her face, before asking :

"How are you feeling?"

"Bad." She mumbled in a very husky voice, still wrapped in her blankets, because she didn't want to wake up and face the reality of what she'd done.

"I'll go make something to make you feel better, all right?" He then offered. "Will you be able to get ready by yourself? Do you need any help?"

She shook her head to show him she would be all right, and looked up to finally meet his gaze. Sadness and worry were shinning bright in his gorgeous blue eyes. He continued to stroke her blond locks to soothe her, looking at her carefully as if she was coming back from the dead. Then he understood he had to get up and make everything ready, so he leaned forward to press a kiss on her forehead before getting off the bed and walking away.

The print of his lips seemed etched on her skin. She placed her hand against her forehead, as if to make the pleasant feeling of his kiss stay longer. She stayed for a little while laying on her back in the quiet of the room, trying to ease her horrific migraine, pounding underneath her skull and threatening to make it explode any minute now.

The night had been terrible for both her and Killian. She'd been sick for hours – it wasn't surprising given the crazy amount of alcohol she'd drunk. He'd stayed by her side the entire time, her hair wrapped in his hook to push it back, his hand rubbing her back in encouragement. He'd forced her to drink water too – a lot – and she was thankful for it, because she knew she would have felt even worse if he hadn't tried to make her drink that much. She'd cried a lot, too. As much for the pain her sickness was causing as for the absolute chaos she was feeling inside. Her husband was there the entire time, comforting her as she was sobbing, whispering to her ear he would stay there and he would never, ever leave her alone. When she'd finally fallen asleep, he'd been forced to wake her up every half an hour to make sure she hadn't fainted and he didn't have to bring her to the hospital. She let go of a long sigh at these blurred memories, wondering what the hell had gotten into her for drinking that much the night before.

She was feeling so guilty. Killian didn't seem mad at all, but worried because of her words and saddened by her tears. And she didn't want him to feel bad because of her. Pushed by the rum running through her veins, she'd admitted what was making her so sad, but she hadn't wanted to make him feel guilty, or bad. She just couldn't take it anymore, it'd had to come out or she would probably have turned insane.

But she was finding herself so damn stupid for putting herself in such a lamentable state. She was an adult, she should never have drunk that much without thinking about the consequences of her actions. She could have ended up in a hospital room. She'd behaved like an idiot, she thought, all because she'd wanted to run away from her feelings. And sure, what Killian'd done was wrong, but she was still feeling guilty. Mostly because she knew she'd hurt him, and she couldn't stand seeing him so sad because of her.

She ended up finding the strength in herself to get out of her bed, and shuffled to the bathroom. She was still feeling sick, the morning light was unbearable to her eyes, everything looked blurry and she was feeling like her brain was about to explode. Cursing herself once again because, _damn_ , being hungover was definitely the worst, she brushed her teeth for a long time to get rid of the unpleasant taste she still had in her mouth. It was reminding her of what'd happened to night before, and god knows she didn't need that. Then she got undressed, leaving her clothes on the floor, and entered the shower with another little sigh.

The water was freezing, and she startled when it touched her naked skin. But she didn't do anything to escape the feeling, she needed it to clear up her mind. She didn't pay attention to the fact she was starting to shiver, and moved to place her face underneath the shower head, her hair falling in front of her eyes. She was feeling like the water was purifying her somehow, and it helped her get rid of the last bits of alcohol still glued to her skin. But even this couldn't erase the words she'd pronounced last night, nor Killian's pain because of what she'd done. She closed her eyes, pressing both her hands against the cold wall of the shower, placing her head between them. She was looking like she was asking for forgiveness without even realizing it.

She needed to go and apologize, they both needed to talk about this entire, horrible situation. Sure, she was aware she wasn't the only one in fault here, because the only reason why she'd started to drink in the first place was because she'd felt like Killian had chosen Jasmine over her. But she should have been able to contain herself. She should have acted like the adult she was supposed to be. She should have gone to talk to him, to show him that what he was doing was wrong instead of seeking comfort in the bottom of a glass of rum. She knew that she'd been wrong too, now. He'd hurt her, sure, but she'd behaved like a petulant teenager, and she'd hurt him as well. She was hating herself for that.

Without really thinking about what she was doing, and staying on her feet just underneath the water, she suddenly turned it up until it was burning hot, as if she was trying to punish herself through this action. She had to hold back a cry of pain when the heat came in contact with her skin, now used to the freezing temperature. She bit her bottom lip, but stayed there, forcing herself not to move for a few horrible seconds. Somehow, she was feeling like she was deserving this kind of treatment.

She eventually got out of there, after a very long time. The stifling heat of her shower had filled in the room, and she was finding it hard to breathe. Her hair was still drenched, and she put on some comfortable clothes, yoga pants and a wide sweater, since she was pretty sure she wasn't going to go anywhere that day.

It's only as she was putting on her sweater that she noticed the burn the hot water had left on her right arm. Her clear skin was bright red going from her wrist to the middle of her forearm. Almost fascinated by the surprising color, she pressed her left fingers on it, but stopped the touch immediately, wincing in pain. She shrugged, and lowered her sleeve over the wound so Killian wouldn't notice she was hurt. She didn't even want to try and make the burn better. She was thinking that, after all, she was deserving this.

She glanced at her reflection in the mirror, and let go of another little groan of despair. She was looking better that she'd imagined she would given how bad she was feeling inside, but she was still a mess. She had huge bags under her green eyes, and was so pale she was looking like she was going to be sick. She rubbed her face with her hands, and tied her hair up in a messy bun. Then, she decided to go down and join Killian in the kitchen. It was time. She wanted to talk with him. She wanted to apologize for her behavior. She just wanted things to get better.

A wonderful smell of coffee and toasted bread welcomed her when she arrived downstairs. She was still feeling kind of nauseous, but was pretty sure she wasn't going to be sick again, and she knew eating something would probably make her feel better.

It's a bit shyly that she entered the kitchen to find Killian making coffee, his back turned to her. She didn't know how he would react seeing her, she didn't know if he was going to get mad, and she just wanted to make him understand how damn sorry she was for what'd happened. But when he turned to look at her, he smiled, gently and tenderly, and she read pure love in his bright blue eyes. He gestured for her to sit down on a chair, a plate of toasts already covered with marmalade placed on the table. She obeyed, and he didn't take long to bring her a mug full of coffee. She wrapped her hands around the hot cup, letting got of a little sigh because she had no idea of how to begin the conversation. But he was the first to start talking in a gentle voice, a hand on her shoulder and peering at her face to make sure she was going to be all right.

"Are you okay?"

She just shrugged at that. If she was being honest, she wasn't feeling all right at all, but she didn't want to worry him even more. She'd acted like an idiot, and she would face the consequences of her actions. But he didn't seem that convinced by her answer and added with a very slight smile.

"It was a real question, love. To know how many aspirins you want for your head."

Encouraged by the welcoming tone of his voice, she said with a little smile, almost as a joke : "My head is about to explode. Maybe you should give me the entire box."

He shook his head, smiling a little bit wider and looking relieved that she was trying to joke, because it could only mean that she wasn't feeling that bad anymore. He walked away to go fetch the pills, and she brought the mug of coffee to her lips, hoping it would help her feel a bit better.

She took two big sips out of the drink. It burnt her throat, still fragile from the night, but it warmed her up from the inside and it was feeling so good. Putting the cup back on the table, she looked down at her breakfast, wondering if her stomach would accept it. She was kind of hungry, but she really didn't want to be sick again. Right as she was determined to finally try and eat one toast to see what would happen then, Killian came back with three aspirins in his hand, and placed the pills beside her on the table.

"What's that?" He then asked in a worried tone.

She frowned, wondering where this question was coming from, then noticed he was staring at her forearm with his brows together in concern. She cursed under her breath when she saw that the sleeve of her sweeter had rolled up to her elbow when she'd drunk her coffee, and was now divulging her burn. A bit embarrassed, she tugged on the arm to hid the wound, and mumbled as an answer :

"It's nothing"

He arched an eyebrow and she understood right away he wasn't convinced by her lie at all. He carefully took her arm to roll her sleeve back up, and peered at the burn spread there. She didn't try to resist, she was so tired and knew he would insist anyways. He tried to touch the wound to assess if it was bad or not, but she immediately freed herself from his grip with a little gasp when his skin came in contact with hers. She couldn't help herself, it was hurting too much to pretend.

"Oh, Swan." he said, shaking his head in worry. "Come on, love, you need to put cold water on it."

She let him take her by the hand as he led her to the nearest sink. He gently, but firmly placed her forearm underneath the freezing water to ease the pain. The silence filled in the space for a few seconds, then he started to talk again, his hand on the edge of the sink as if to make sure she was going to stay there.

"How did you do this?"

"I guess I just burnt myself in the shower." She answered with a little shrug, not looking up at him and she could feel his gaze burning on her skin. "It was an accident." She added, feeling his concern, and knowing that he'd already guessed she wasn't telling him the entire truth.

"You burnt yourself on purpose?"

He knew, damn him and his perceptiveness. She didn't even try to deny his statement : He already knew what'd happened anyways. He heart ached when he asked in a somewhat shaky voice, and she finally looked at him to see his eyes shinning with unshed tears.

"Why did you do that?"

She turned to look at him more easily, leaving her arm under the water so he wouldn't start panicking. He'd moved to press his hand on the small of her back, keeping her close to him. She felt tears starting to appear in her eyes when she saw how worried he was, and tried to keep her voice as steady as possible as she was saying, not really answering his question.

"Look, I'm just... I'm really sorry about yesterday, Killian. I don't know what I was thinking, I shouldn't have drunk like that. I behaved like a child. I feel so bad..."

"No, please, don't apologize, darling." He cut her off, and she tilted her head on its side, surprised by his reaction. "It's all my fault if you started to drink. I should never have left you all alone like that. It wasn't on purpose, I promise, I just lost track of time, but it is no excuse. I'm the one who behaved like an idiot. I didn't think about how you were feeling, and it's my part as your husband to make you happy. I'm so sorry you felt left alone again. You have suffered way too much in your life, and I don't intend to let you down ever again."

His words touched her soul, and she felt a lonely tear slowly rolling down her cheek. Without paying attention to the fact her arm was drenched with water, she turned completely away from the sink to hug him, her hands around his neck, her head resting on his shoulder. He wasn't long to embrace her completely, his face buried into the crook of her neck and his fingers running up and down her spine in a tender, soothing stroke.

She was finally feeling good in his arms. Her heartbeats were calming down, and she was feeling loved and safe. She would have wanted to stay there forever, escaping the world in this little bubble they were creating. When he was holding her like that, she was feeling like she was able to forget about her doubts and her fears, she could almost convince herself she would never be left alone again. He'd promised her he wouldn't let her down, after all.

"I love you so bloody much." He whispered in a broken voice, as if he was about to start crying.

Then he pulled away from her, his left arm still wrapped around her waist, his hand cupping her jaw to look at her more carefully. He was almost crying, she could see it now, and it made a lump appear in her throat. But he forced himself to smile at her, so gently her heart fluttered, and he wiped off a tear that was running down her cheek. Then, he said in a very low voice, as a promise she wanted to believe more than anything.

"We'll make everything better. We'll find something to get through this, okay? I just want you to be happy, so whatever you need, I promise I'll do it."

Then, without waiting for an answer - she would have been unable to answer him anyways, or she would have started to sob for good – he leaned forward to press a kiss on her lips. He was tasting like coffee and bread, and she let herself fall into the familiar taste of his mouth, trying to convince herself he was telling the truth and he wouldn't abandon her.

* * *

They unfortunately hadn't had the time to have a real talk about their feelings. They had while she was finishing her breakfast, sure, their hands linked above the table as if he wanted to prove her he wasn't lying and he was going to stay there forever. But he eventually found himself forced to leave to go get the kids at her parents', it was already late after all, and they didn't have a choice. Neal was supposed to come and play with Liam and Leia during the day, so Snow and David could have a little time for themselves as well, and Emma was feeling a bit worried about having three little kids at home all day. She still was horribly hungover after all, the aspirins had helped but it couldn't do miracles, and Neal was a loud kid, always getting excited in his games. She knew this day wasn't going to be an easy one.

Killian held her for a long time against him before walking away. They had both decided she would stay home to rest a bit while she still could, but she was so anxious to see Killian disappear, even if she knew where he was going and that it wasn't for long. She didn't want to stay alone with her dark thoughts. She needed to feel him beside her, because it was the only thing able to make her feel better. But he said to her ear in a very gentle voice just before leaving the house :

"I'll be right back, I promise."

He'd obviously read her mind and knew how she was feeling. He pressed a tender, long kiss on her forehead, as if to conceal his promise. She looked at him walking out of their house and stared at him until he'd disappeared at the corner of the street, feeling like it was the last time she was seeing him. It was absolutely horrifying.

As she was now finding herself alone, she searched for something to keep her mind out of the horrible situation she was stuck in. She put on some loud music, even if it was making her headache worse, because it was stopping her from thinking. Then, unusual thing for her, she started to clan the house, tidying things a bit because she needed to move, she just couldn't stay still.

She drank several mugs of coffee, what made her even more nervous, and it didn't help with her sadness nor her anxiety. Because despite her husband's embraces, despite his soothing words and his promise to never, ever leave her, she was still taking his secrets as an abandon. And she couldn't erase the image of his arm wrapped around Jasmine's shoulders from her mind.

So, when she saw her husband coming back with the kids a little bit more than half an hour later, the first thing she did was to hug him tight. She didn't want to let him go ever again. He didn't comment on this, he just held her so close he was almost lifting her up from the ground. It's only when she managed to convince herself he was there and he wasn't going anywhere, a couple of minutes later, that she finally squatted to greet Liam, Leia and Neal.

Her son seemed to notice that something was off with her right away. As Neal and Leia were running to the living room, both clueless of what was going on, he stayed with her, frowning as if he was trying to analyze her. Emma waited patiently for him to say something, intrigued by his behavior. Then, finally, he placed his little hand on her forehead as if he wanted to make sure she wasn't running a fever.

"What are you doing, sweetheart?" She gently asked, touched by how soft his gesture was.

"You sick, Mommy?" He answered, still peering at her with concern.

"No, baby." She said, rubbing his back to comfort him because, god, she wasn't going to worry her little boy in addition to all of this. "I just have a bit of a headache. But I'm fine, don't you worry. Go play with the others, okay?"

He seemed to waver a bit, but she forced herself to smile at him so he would feel better, and it encouraged him to go. He grinned back and walked away with light steps, joining his sister and uncle to finally take part in their games. Emma got up and turned to Killian, who immediately placed an arm around her waist to pull her closer to his chest.

"You're not feeling better, are you?" he said in a worried tone, dropping a kiss to the top of her head as if to comfort her.

"Not really." She admitted with a little sigh. "I'm just glad you're home."

On that note, he held her even closer to him, and they stayed snuggled against one another for a very long time in the middle of their hallway.

* * *

"You all right, darling?"

Killian's voice drew Emma away from her intense thoughts. She was sitting on her couch, watching the kids, but she'd let herself get distracted by her situation for a few seconds. She blinked, cursing herself internally. Anything could have happened during these few short moments, but luckily, her kids and brother hadn't done anything wrong meanwhile and were still playing on the living room, giggling at their games.

But she did have an excuse to be that distracted, though : her headache was still there, even if it'd gotten better through the hours, and she was completely exhausted by the horrible night she'd had, despite the crazy amount of coffee she'd drunk and that was still making her nervous. She however forced herself to nod and smile at her husband, she really didn't want him to worry even more because of her. He came to sit beside her, and she immediately placed her head against his shoulder with a little sigh, as he was wrapping his arm around her to feel her closer to him.

"You're still sad, aren't you?" He whispered to her ear.

She glanced at the kids to make sure they were still busy and couldn't hear them talking. That was an adult conversation, and she didn't want to worry them in addition to everything. She nodded slowly, and he buried his nose in her hair to breathe her in. Her mood hadn't gotten better at all, and she couldn't wait to resume her conversation with her husband. She needed to tell him everything that was going on inside of her mind. She didn't want any secrets between them anymore. She wanted to be absolutely, utterly honest with him to try and chase this horrible pain in her heart away.

"We're going to talk about this." He promised, answering her inner thoughts as if he was reading her. _An open book_. "We're going to talk about your feelings, okay? I'm so sorry you were feeling too bad to talk to me before, but I won't let this happen again. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. You can trust me with this, I promise."

"I know." She whispered, her voice barely audible, touched by his words.

She left her chin up to look at him in the eyes, and he leaned to press a little kiss on her lips. She enjoyed the familiar and comforting touch, she suddenly wanted to stay like this forever, because, damn, he was feeling so good. But a cry suddenly rang against the walls. She immediately recognized Leia's voice, and the both of them startled at the same time. With the feeling that something bad was happening, they both turned to the kids to finally understand what was going on.

The scene seemed to happen so slowly and at a crazy speed all at the same time. Liam had taken advantage of the fact his parents were busy to obviously use his magic, what they'd strictly forbidden him to do, and she couldn't understand why he'd suddenly disobeyed this order. God knows how given the fact he still didn't know how to control his powers, he'd managed to make a huge vase, that was usually laying on the fireplace, fly in the air. His eyes wide, he was himself looking afraid by what he was doing.

Emma understood he'd lost all control over his own power when she saw the vase starting to float above Leia's head. Her head titled, the little girl was staring up at the item with pure terror, as if she knew a danger was threatening her. Neal was obviously finding this entire situation really funny, because he was clapping and encouraging his nephew to continue his tricks.

Suddenly, everything changed really quickly. The vase stopped floating and started to fall, aiming at Leia's head who, completely terrified, now, had stopped moving and was looking like petrified. Emma let go of a cry of pure distress, knowing all too well the vase could kill Leia on the spot given how heavy it was. Then, without thinking, in a crazy impulse because she had to save her little girl's life, there was no other choice and her maternal instinct had taken control over her, she managed to use her own magic to make the vase move. It went to explode against the opposite side of the room, in a horrible clash that made them all startle, but Leia was safe and that was all that mattered.

The room stayed in a shocked silence for a few seconds, everybody realizing the worst had almost happened. Then Leia started to cry, knowing that she'd almost gotten really hurt. Killian got up to take her into his arms and tried to soothe her, whispering to her ear "it's okay, little love, you're okay, we are here, you're all right."

Emma could hear at the tone of his voice and see at his shaky hand that the panic was still running through his veins at the idea he'd almost lost his daughter. Neal said under his breath : "wow, that was _cool_ ", obviously not realizing how bad the situation was. Liam was looking frightened and excited all at the same time by what he'd just done, and Emma suddenly started to move, getting out of the state of shock she was in. She approached him and stood in front of her son, her fear making her heart beat almost painfully in her chest.

"What the hell has gotten into you?!"

She'd just yelled so loudly her voice had almost broken on the last word. She'd never screamed like that at one of her kids, she would always be careful to talk to them calmly when they'd made a mistake because she knew yelling would only scare them, but it was too much to take for her. She'd been too scared. Liam startled and looked at her with wide eyes. She was so, so mad. He had not only disobeyed her, and he had to understand it was wrong because, damn, he could create a mess with his powers if he was using them now, but he'd almost hurt his sister really badly. It was bad, really bad, and Emma couldn't help herself but yell because she had been so scared.

Liam ended up starting to talk again, as if to avoid being punished. "Did you see, Mommy? I made the vase fly!"

"Liam!" Killian said dryly in her back, sounding so mad as well. "Can't you see how wrong what you just did was?"

"So what, you made the vase fly?!" Emma outbid, her hands on her hips. "You want me to congratulate you, maybe?"

"But Mommy..." He protested in a little voice, looking impressed by the tone she'd just used to talk to him.

She felt Killian move behind her back. She knew he was supporting her on this, but he probably wanted her to stop yelling and talk calmly instead. She was aware that getting mad wasn't going to help her son understand that what he'd done was wrong, she knew that explaining the situation to Liam was the only way for him to get it. But she was so angry, she'd been so damn scared to lose one of them because of a stupid accident. And she was also mad at herself for not paying attention for a few seconds, because everything had happened while she was distracted. And her rage was exacerbated by her headache and the amount of coffee she'd drunk since she'd woken up.

"No, Liam!" She continued. "You could have hurt yourself really badly, do you know that? Hell, you almost killed your sister!"

"But I didn't want to hurt her..." he tried to justify himself.

"It doesn't change anything! How many times have I told you to not use your magic, huh?! How many times, Liam?"

Her baby brother was looking at her with wide eyes, standing just beside his nephew. He'd never heard her scream like this either, and he seemed really shocked about it. She was always so calm with the kids usually. Liam, the surprise gone, seemed to find all of this really unfair. He clenched his little fists, frowned, and started to scream as well.

"Stop yelling! Neal told me to do it!"

"And so what?" Emma replied, before Killian could say anything to try and calm the situation down. "It's not an excuse! You don't have to listen to him! If Neal tells you to throw yourself into the lake, you're gonna do it, maybe?"

She was so angry she didn't even realize she'd just pronounced the typical sentence of angry moms all around the world. Liam was so pale, and he was staring at her with fierce eyes. He was usually so calm, but he was looking at the edge of a tantrum, what'd never happened before. He had never gotten that angry. A set of drawers suddenly started to slam repeatedly, showing just how angry the little boy was at his mom's reaction. He was transformed, now, his smiles long gone. Far from being impressed, Emma continued :

"You're going to stay in your room until I know what to do with you, young man!"

It was obviously too much for the little boy. He'd never actually been punished, he'd just had to stay in his room a couple of times when he'd done something wrong, but what he'd done there was too bad for that. The lights of the room faltered a few times, then Liam yelled :

"I hate you!"

The words hit Emma so hard she felt dizzy for a second. She hadn't expected that at all, and she felt her heart ache so hard she was suddenly feeling sick. She'd always been so close to her son, and now he hated her. She didn't feel able to contain her emotions, not with everything that was happening lately. It was too much. He didn't love her anymore, because she'd yelled at him. She was a bad mom. Obviously, she was. At that moment, exhausted, anxious, she couldn't realize Liam had only said those words without thinking about them, because he was angry. She was feeling like she'd just received a bucket of iced water on her head.

The room was filled in a shocked silence. Leia had stopped crying, and even Liam seemed surprised by his own words. She vaguely heard Killian started to talk, saying in a cold tone : "Liam! What are you thinking?! Don't talk to your mom like that!". She didn't know what to do, she didn't know how to react and she was feeling like she was going to turn insane. She took three steps back, just hoping to escape from this horrible situation.

Killian noticed her movement and how shocked she was. In a gentle voice, he asked : "Swan? You okay?"

She didn't answer anything, she still didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to say because she was thinking that her son was right, that she was a bad mom because she'd yelled and that she was doing everything wrong. So she did the only thing she could do, the only thing she was always doing when she was feeling scared.

She ran.

Without answering to Killian, she turned her back to her family and rushed to her door. She needed to get away from there, it was important, or she would turn insane. She needed to be alone, to think, to walk away from this because it was too much to take for her already broken heart.

"Swan!"

She ignored Killian's scream and slammed the door behind her back, running down the stairs of her porch as if her life depended on it.

* * *

 **All right guys! So yeah, I feel like I've covered a few sensitive subjects here, mostly the self-inflicted burn. I kinda wanted to show how mad Emma was at herself, but she didn't really think about what she was doing by turning the water so hot. As for the scene with Liam, don't worry, he just said those words because he was angry, he's himself shocked by what he's done... Emma got really mad because she has a migraine, she drank a crazy amount of coffee and sh'se still kinda hungover, but I promise the little boy and his mom will have a calm conversation in the next chapter!**

 **I hope you liked this chapter, and see you next week! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks a lot to ellegirlie77, oncer4life11, EllaHillCrouch, Emilee Amethyst, Nenski, Guest, paupaupi and Alexa for the reviews! :)**

* * *

Emma's steps led her to the beach without her having to think about her destination. She nearly collapsed on a low wall there, her legs hanging underneath her, her feet swinging back and forth, staring at the blue immensity in front of her. The sea would always manage to calm her down when she was feeling bad. Killian would often bring her here, when she was worried or sad. She was actually on the same wall they were sitting on all those years ago, when they'd shared a flask of rum and he'd tried to soothe her about the situation with her parents, at the very beginning of their relationship. It was also where they would meet when they'd had a fight and they wanted to make up. She took a deep breath, listening to the sound of the waves crashing against the beach, trying to comfort herself as she wanted nothing more but to start crying.

Liam's reaction had hurt her. Her heart was still aching in her chest. Because she loved this little boy so much, and even if he'd probably not meant what he'd said, and he probably had no idea of how bad this statement was, it was an incredibly painful thing to hear. And she was feeling so worthless. Leia was rejecting her for a reason she couldn't understand, Liam was now saying he was hating her, and she was the only one to blame for that situation, she thought. She was a bad mom, it was obvious. There wasn't any other explanation to her kids' behavior. She was feeling like everything was falling apart around her, and she would have wanted to lock herself in her room, curl up under the sheets and sleep forever to escape her own life that'd become so hard to bare.

She was also feeling so bad for running away like that. Her old impulses had come back to life again, now that she was feeling so helpless, and she'd done what she would do every time things would become too hard, all those years ago. She'd gotten better, though, through the years she'd learned how to deal with things differently, but this time, it'd been too much to take. She was feeling like she'd behaved like a kid once again. She knew the sensible reaction would have been to calm herself down, to kneel in front of Liam and explain to him, calmly but firmly, that he couldn't say things like that and that he was going to be grounded, period. But she hadn't been able to do it, and she'd run away from her feelings. Again. She was feeling like such an idiot.

Everything seemed wrong lately, and she was feeling so desperate because she had no idea of what to do about it. Despite what Killian had promised her, despite the fact she wanted to trust him when he was saying Jasmine was nothing for him, it wasn't surprising he preferred her company to his own wife's. Even if she was mean with Emma, she seemed like a good, balanced girl at heart. A happy woman, who knew what she was doing. Emma was feeling emotionally unstable, she didn't know what to do anymore, and she wasn't able to face what was happening to her lately. She was hating herself so damn much for not acting like the responsible adult she was supposed to be.

In moments such as these, her past was catching up with her. Her wounds, created by a crappy childhood where no one had never wanted her, teenage years during which she'd been a runaway and had been left alone over and over again, were opening again with a surprising and unbearable violence. She was feeling like everyone would always end up letting her down. And why wouldn't they, she thought? She was the only one to blame, after all. There had to be a reason, people wouldn't have left her her entire life if she hadn't been guilty for it one way or another. She was unbearable, irresponsible, no one could stand her more than a few years in a row. And Killian was starting to have enough of her, it was obvious. The feeling was horrifying, because she was actually living Killian's behavior as an abandon. And he was the only one supposed to never leave her, but it was probably too late now. He was already gone.

She didn't know what she was doing there. She didn't know what she was waiting for, sitting there in front of the ocean. But she didn't know where else to go. At Granny's, she would probably cross path with Jasmine, Aladdin or Salim, and she wouldn't stand seeing them, not now, not while she was feeling like this. At her parents', she would have to answer thousands of questions, and she didn't feel good enough to talk about what was happening inside her head right now. At the station, she would only remind herself of how useless she actually was. The savior, they were calling her, but god, how wrong they were. Aside from destroying everything surrounding her, aside from putting everyone in danger or making her loved ones suffer, she wasn't good at anything. Proof was that they would always end up getting hurt or dying, because of her. Maybe she should have stayed alone, after all, in her cold apartment in Boston. She was unhappy back then, sure, but at least she was the only one to ache.

She had no idea of what to do anymore, she just wanted to ease this horrible pain inside her chest. Seeing the deep blue water crashing on the beach, she suddenly felt the strong and crazy desire to walk into it. To disappear for a few minutes into this blue immensity. To feel insignificant and so little for a while, to feel the waves washing her worries, and to forget all about her problems.

But she also knew it wasn't a solution. So she brought her knees to her chest, and buried her face in her arms, not seeing anything around her anymore. There, protected from the world, she started to cry. She needed to sob and evacuate this pain, or she would turn insane. Killian's secrets, her fear of losing him, Liam's words, Leia's distance, everything was transforming into little tears that were rolling down her cheek to finish their path on the soft fabric of her yoga pants.

"Emma?"

She didn't know for how long she was sitting there, crying, but it had to be a long time given how sore her eyes were from all the tears, when she heard Killian's voice in her back. She suddenly understood why she'd come all the way to the beach : it was their place, where they would always meet when something was wrong. Unconsciously, she'd wanted to see if he was going to come and try to comfort her. And he hadn't left her, he was there, always.

She suddenly felt ashamed of herself for doubting him, while he was always there for her, no matter what. Still sobbing, she looked up and turned to stare at him. His expression changed from concern to pure sadness when he saw she was crying, and he moved to join her on the wall. But he was wavering a bit, as if he was scared she would reject him. She wanted to feel him close to her more than anything, to feel his strong arms wrapped around her as he would promise her everything would be all right. She then reached for his hand, and he gently grabbed it. He was beside her in less than a second.

He straddled the wall, one leg hanging next to hers, and he pulled her to him so she would rest her head in the crook of his neck. She could hear his heart beating so fast in his chest, his breathing was jerky as if he was holding his tears back himself, and she snuggled so close to him, closing her eyes to enjoy his embrace. He placed his left arm around her stomach, and his right one came to rest around her shoulders, his fingers starting to play with a strand of hair on her temple to soothe her. She already felt her tears fading away as he was holding her so tight.

He didn't say anything at first, he just held her close to him and it was making her feel so good. The strokes of his fingers and the feeling of his arm placed against her stomach was comforting her more than anything could ever have. She needed this so much, to convince herself he was there and wasn't going anywhere. He wasn't going to leave her. After a few more minutes, she eventually calmed down enough to speak. When he noticed that her tears had faded away, he whispered to her ear, so softly it made a shiver run down her spine :

"I knew you would be there."

She didn't feel ready to talk about her feelings just yet, she needed a few more minutes to gather her strength and dive into the conversation. "Where are the kids?" She then asked.

"I called Henry so he would come to watch them for a bit. I wanted to talk with you for a while, just the two of us. Was I wrong?"

"No." She murmured, wrapping her fingers around his left arm, still placed against her stomach. "I'm glad you came"

He didn't answer anything, just waiting for her to be ready to tell him what was weighting on her mind, still stroking her skin in a soothing caress. He pressed a kiss on her temple, his nose in her hair to breathe her in. After a few seconds, she ended up deciding it was time. She took a deep breath and asked in a broken voice :

"Do you think I'm a bad mom?"

She knew he wasn't going to answer by the affirmative. He was way too gentle for that, and he wasn't going to hurt her like this, never, he was respecting her too much. But she always could tell when people were lying to her, her super-power was never wrong after all, so she knew she would be able to know it if he wasn't telling her the truth. He reacted right away, his voice a bit husky at her question :

"What? Swan, of course not! You're the best mom I ever met!"

She turned her head just a little bit to meet his gaze, and she read in his eyes shinning with unshed tears that he wasn't lying. She let go of a little sigh of relief, and placed her head against his shoulder once again. Her hand was still grabbing his left arm, as if she was scared he would disappear and leave her there with her sadness.

"Why are you saying this?" He asked in a low voice, and she could feel that he was feeling truly hurt by her words, as if he couldn't believe she'd actually thought such a thing.

"I've given Henry up for adoption. Leia doesn't want to approach me. And Liam just told me he hated me. These are pretty good proofs, don't you think?" She said with a little sniff.

"You've given Henry up because you wanted to give him his best chance. You weren't even eighteen at the time, lass, you were just a kid, and you just wanted him to have a chance to be happy. It's a proof of love if nothing else. And Liam told you this because he was angry. I explained to him it was wrong, and I sent him in his room right away, and he didn't even try to protest. He was feeling very guilty when he saw you walking away, you know."

"And what about Leia?" She asked, as if she wanted to hurt herself even more by bringing proofs of how worthless she was. "If I'm such a good mom, why does she run away from me like that?"

"For Leia, it's a bit more complicated." He admitted after a few seconds of quiet, as if he wanted to make sure he was choosing the right words. "But Emma, she loves you very much. Maybe you can't see it because her behavior hurts you, but it's obvious to me. She tries to be just like you, you know. The gestures she does, the words she uses, she's imitating you. I can already see how much like you she's trying to be. You're her role model, I can tell"

"You're really thinking that, or you just want to make me feel better?" She asked in a little voice, wanting to make sure her instinct was right and he was telling the truth.

"I'm being honest here, love, or I wouldn't say this." He assured softly. "And sometimes, I have troubles understanding what's happening inside Leia's little head as well. If it can comfort you, you're not the only one. She definitely has a temper. She's just like you." He added to make her smile.

"Just like the both of us." She corrected with a little chuckle, his try working.

He kept silent for a few seconds, still stroking her temple, and she knew this conversation was far from being over. They were going to talk seriously about the entire Jasmine situation. She wanted to tell him how she was feeling about his friend, but she didn't know how to start because she really didn't want to seem like she wasn't trusting him and make him mad. So, once again, he was the one who started to talk, and said in a low voice :

"Would you talk to me about what happened yesterday?"

She sighed, feeling a bit anxious, but she nodded anyways, because it was about time she talked about her feelings. She pulled away from him to look at him in the eyes while she was talking, and he released his grip on her shoulders to interlace his fingers with hers. With her free hand, she quickly wiped off the tears that were still rolling down her cheeks.

At first, she tried to find the right words to tell him what was weighting on her mind, but she quite quickly gave up on this idea. Talking about feelings had never been her strong suit. It'd gotten better when she'd met Killian, but she was still a bit uncomfortable with it sometimes. So the best for her was to use her instinct. She then took one deep breath and started to talk, wavering a bit :

"You already know why I've drunk yesterday, but I wanna tell you about the entire thing, because you only know a small part of it. I'm not trying to search for excuses because I behaved like an idiot and I should never have gotten drunk like that, but I hope it will help you understand... Well, yesterday, when you walked away to go join Jasmine, it was already hard for me. The reason why I'm so sad lately is because I feel like you're pushing me away to get closer to her. And it hurts, because I love you and you're the person I trust the most and I somehow feel like it's not the same for you anymore. So, like an idiot, my first reaction has been to push you away as well because I thought it would prevent me from getting even more hurt. It didn't really work, I think we can both admit it."

He was staring at her, his eyes shinning, as if he was about to start crying. But he didn't say anything, wanting to listen to her until the very end. He pressed her fingers between his, encouraging her to continue. She offered him a very slight smile, and started again :

"And then, when I saw you with your arm wrapped around her, this position you take so often with me, well, it was too much for me. I was feeling like I was going insane. You weren't paying any attention to me anymore, you'd forgotten about me and I was feeling like I wasn't existing to your eyes anymore. So I wanted to forget about everything, just for a little while, because it was too much to take. And I was trying to convince myself that I was being stupid, that you loved me..."

"But I love you!" He cut her off, his voice a bit broken and squeezing her fingers so hard as if to make her understand how he was truly feeling.

That made her smile a bit. "I know. I know, babe." She repeated to comfort him. "It's just... at the time, I lived that as an abandon. And you know how I can get when I'm scared or hurt. The only solution I found was to run away once again, and this time, it was the alcohol that gave me the opportunity to do so."

She got quiet and peered at him to see his reaction. She'd opened her heart and was pretty anxious, but he didn't seem mad at all. He was looking saddened by her words, but not particularly surprised, as if he'd guessed where her sadness was actually coming from. Finally, after a few seconds spent in silence, he ended up talking again in a very gentle, soothing voice :

"But, Swan, why did you think I preferred Jasmine to you in the first place? You're the love of my life, darling, I've told you this a thousand times. You're the one I chose, you're my love and no one is never going to take your place in my heart, I promise."

It made her smile, and she felt tears appearing in her eyes again, but they were from the joy she was feeling at his words. He was loving her so much. But she also knew she had to continue this conversation, so she started chewing on her bottom lip, hoping her statement wouldn't make him mad, and admitted : "It's because of all these secrets between us, lately. I was so sure that the fact you didn't wanna tell me anything about what's going on was because there was something between the two of you..."

"Nothing never happened between me and Jasmine, Emma, I promise you this." He said sincerely. "I have to admit that, at the time I met her, she hadn't met Aladdin yet and she seemed to like me. But I've never felt nothing more than friendship for her. And she's married, now. She loves her husband so much. You don't have to worry about this, I promise."

She let go of a little sigh, noticing with a bit of despair and frustration that he still hadn't told her how he knew the girl in the first place. But she took one deep breath and forced herself to keep quiet and not insist. After all, it was his life. He probably had a good reason for not talking to her about this. She had to trust him, she didn't want to fight anymore.

"That's not all." She then said, determined to admit everything to him, to open herself completely in order to make everything better, finally. "I also realize that she's so much more balanced that I am. Look at me, Killian. I'm mistrustful, full of contradictions. When I feel bad, I know I can become unbearable, but I can't help myself. I hate myself for that, sometimes."

"Emma!" he said, as if to make her listen more carefully. "First of all, you're far from being unbearable. You're the most adorable, amazing person I've ever met, and I love you so much. I'm sorry you can't see how absolutely wonderful you are. Then, how can't you see that I love you entirely? Not only for your qualities, but also for your flaws? How can't you see that all your little imperfections, I find them absolutely perfect? I chose you, I chose all of you, with your doubts and your fears, with your beautiful smiles and your tears. I'm not only there for the good moments, you know, I promised you this when we got married. Please, don't close yourself up in those walls of sadness. I'm here, I'll always be there, and I'm not going to let you down, ever. I promise."

She stared at him for a few seconds, feeling so touched by his speech her throat was in knots and her heart was about to explode. He'd moved his hand while he was talking to cup her jaw, and she lifted hers to interlace their fingers together. She let go of a jerky breath, wondering how she could ever have doubted the love this man had for her. He loved her, so damn much. He'd proven this many times. She couldn't doubt him anymore.

After a while, not knowing what to answer to his amazing statement, she just approached her face from his to press her forehead against his own. She blinked a few times, and they shared a glance for a few seconds, their noses brushing against one another. Then he ended up smiling, and said with such honesty her heart fluttered again :

"Love, do you want me to stop seeing Jasmine?"

"Killian..." She protested in a little voice, surprised by his words. She didn't want to stop him from doing anything because of her fears. She didn't want to be that kind of woman, forbidding her husband to do stuffs just because she was scared.

"It's an actual question, lass" He told her. "I'll respect your choice, because I just want you to feel better, and that's all that matters to me. Jasmine is not important. So I'll ask you again : do you want me to stop seeing her?"

She understood he was going to insist until she gave him a real and clear answer. She thought about it for a few seconds, her forehead still against his. She wanted to trust him, so badly, but she also knew herself. She knew that, sooner or later, her doubts would reappear again. She certainly would be happier if he wasn't seeing her anymore, because it would give her the peace she was looking for, it would make everything fall into place again, and she would feel so much better. And he was being sincere, she knew it. He really wanted her to be happy again. So she decided to stop lying to him and to herself, and she nodded, really slowly, to show him what she was desiring deep inside her heart.

She felt his smile spread wide on his lips, he was looking so happy she was finally being honest with him, and all her doubts flew away all at once. He wrapped his other arm around her waist to hold her close, then moved to break the small distance between them and press a long, tender kiss on her lips.

They spent a few minutes sharing more and more demanding kisses on this little wall in front of the ocean. She was feeling so much better now that she'd talked about her feelings, and her hands were sliding up and down his chest, just to feel him a little bit closer to her. She was feeling like she'd gotten her husband back, finally. It was as if this horrible weight on her shoulders, that'd been there since Jasmine's arrival in town, had suddenly disappeared while he was against her. Everything was okay, now. No more lies, no more secrets, no more doubts. Just two people loving each other so damn much.

He ended up pulling completely away from her to look at her in the eyes. He took her hand back in his, and said as she was running her tongue on her lips to taste him one last time.

"Let's go arrange this with Liam now, shall we?"

Emma nodded, and even managed to give him a small smile. She was ready, ready to act like an adult and go talk to her little boy, because she knew Killian was right and Liam hadn't meant what he'd said. So she got up, and, hands in hands, they walked to their home without never letting the other go. Their shoulders were brushing against one another, as if they were never going to leave each other again.

* * *

"Liam, can I come in?" She asked, knocking three times at her son's door.

She opened without really waiting for an answer. She'd needed a few minutes downstairs to find the courage in herself to go speak to her son, but Killian had comforted her and told her everything was going to be just fine. He was right, it couldn't be that complicated after all. Her little boy was four and a half, and she was his mom. And even if she'd never really punished a child before that, she needed to start one day or another – she was a mom of three after all.

Her son was sitting on his bed, cross-legged, and seemed to be bored out of his mind. He turned to her when he saw her coming in, and his face changed to display a sheepish expression. He looked down at his blankets as she was approaching him with somewhat uncertain steps. She forced herself to stand straight, trying to look confident and assured so he wouldn't guess she had absolutely no idea of what she was doing. Then she sat down next to him on his little bed, and decided once again that she wasn't going to think too much about what to say. Her instinct had never really betrayed her, and she was going to use it. It had worked with Killian not less than a few instants before, hadn't it?

"Liam, look at me." She then ordered in a calm, but bossy tone.

He looked up at her, his beautiful green eyes meeting hers, and almost pouted in a sad way. He seemed to try and coax her so she wouldn't be too strict with him, but she was determined not to let him win on that one. She could also see he was looking sincerely touched by the situation, as if he was feeling guilty for what'd happened between them. She then continued in a confident tone that surprised her when the words left her mouth.

"First of all, I want to apologize for screaming like I did earlier, and for walking away like that. I shouldn't have done that, and I'm sorry about it. But you have to understand that I got really scared. You almost hurt your little sister very badly by disobeying like you did, and you could have hurt yourself as well. And I'm not going to lie to you : you made me really sad when you said that you hated me. You can't say things like that. So I'm not going to change my mind : you are going to be grounded. What you did was really wrong, and you can't do it again. Understand?"

He nodded slowly, still looking at her and blushing a little bit, as if he was feeling really, utterly bad. Getting that she was done talking about what he'd done, he started in a very shy tone, avoiding her gaze as if he was scared she would get mad again :

"I didn't want to hurt anyone."

"I know you didn't, Liam." she said gently. "But sometimes, actions have consequences, bad ones, and you have to learn that you can't do whatever you want in life, because it can hurt people. And you have to understand that you don't have to listen to Neal all the time, not when he wants you to do bad stuffs. I know he's older than you, but when he tells you things like that, you can't listen to him. He's not your boss, okay?"

"Okay." he said, finally looking at her in the eyes.

Seeing that he was listening carefully, she continued. "And I also know you didn't mean what you said to me, but it was wrong. You really can't say things like that, even if you are really mad. I get that you were angry because I shouldn't have yelled at you like that and I showed you the wrong example, but when there is a problem, we have to talk about it calmly, like we're doing now. You made me really sad. You need to know that."

"I'm sorry, Mommy." he said with honesty, nervously playing with his fingers.

She smiled at him to show him it was okay and she wasn't mad anymore, and explained : "You also have to understand that you're grounded because you did something wrong. But it's a first for you, so I want to tell you something really important : it's not because I'm doing this that I don't love you anymore, okay? You're my baby boy, I love you with all my heart and nothing in the world will never change that. All right?"

She took his chin to gently lift his head up so he was looking at her, and smiled to show him she was being sincere. He answered a bit shyly at her, but seemed reassured at the same time. Seeing that he didn't really know what to do, she spread her arms wide so he would approach her, and he didn't need to be asked twice. He climbed on her lap and wrapped his little arms around her neck, as if he'd been scared she would be mad at him. She smiled again, happy to feel him close to her, and kissed the top of his head. After a few seconds, he said in a little voice :

"I'm really sorry, Mommy. I didn't want to make you sad. I love you."

"I know, baby." She said, touched by his words. "I love you too, so much."

They stayed in that position for a few more minutes, before she pulled away from him, keeping him on her lap but looking at him in the eyes. She winced a bit, and he answered with a little grimace, knowing that she was going to tell him what his punishment was going to be. She started to talk again, firmly so he would understand she wasn't going to change her mind.

"It's doesn't change the fact that you're grounded. Three days without television, and you're gonna stay in your room until dinner. Okay, Liam?"

"Okay." he answered with a little shrug, as he knew he couldn't do anything to change that. "I promise you I won't try to use my magic anymore, Mommy."

"Good, buddy." She said, dropping a kiss to his forehead. "I'm proud of you. I'll come to tell you when dinner is ready, all right?"

He nodded and climbed down her lap to go back to his bed as she was getting up to leave the room. Once out of there, she let the door ajar and let go of a huge sigh of relief. She was so glad the conversation was over, but she was even happier that it had gone so well. Trusting her instinct had been a good idea after all, because she was feeling like she had nailed the discussion. Liam had seemed to understand what he'd done wrong, he'd promised her to never do that again, and, more important, he'd told her he loved her, and she was feeling so much better now.

She walked down the stairs with light steps. Her headache was almost gone now, and she was feeling good, really good. She'd finally talked to Killian about what was going on in her mind, he'd understood and was ready to do anything for her to feel better. She'd made up with Liam and had done her job as his mom to make him understand the difference between right and wrong. Sure, she still had issues she had to face, but she wanted to stay positive. And she was so happy that a good part of these problems had now disappear in the span of a few hours.

Killian was waiting for her in the kitchen. Henry had gone to take Neal back to her parents' with Leia, and her, Killian and Liam were therefore alone in the house. When he heard her coming in, he offered her a bright smile and handed her a mug of hot cocoa with cinnamon. He knew the drink would always manage to make her feel a little bit better. She accepted it, thanking him and, seeing her smile, he said :

"It looks like it went well."

"It did." She nodded after taking a sip out of the hot drink. "Much better than what I'd expected, actually."

"I knew you would do great."

Her smile widened at his words, and she put the mug on the kitchen table to hold him against her, as he was rubbing her back. She couldn't believe what she'd been through in only one day : guilt, first, then sadness, distress, to finally feel good and happy. Everything was falling back into place. At that exact moment, she was happier than she'd been in a long time. Killian kissed her neck, then his kisses went up to meet her ear, where he whispered.

"I am so proud of you."

Her heart fluttered at that, but she didn't really know what to say. Touched, she just held him even closer to her, and he seemed to understand her inner thoughts because she felt him smile in her hair. They stayed like this for a very long time, and when she finally pulled away from him, she let go of a huge yawn that she tried to cover with her hand. Now that everything had gotten better, all the exhaustion of her night and of what'd happened during the day was coming right back at her, and she was so tired. Killian left his arms around her waist, and said gently when he saw how exhausted she was :

"You know what, love? Go to bed, go get some rest. You need it. I'll take care of everything."

"But Killian..." She tried to protest.

God, this offer was appealing, but she didn't want to leave him all alone to take care of the kids and all the chores in the house, all because she was hungover. It was her own fault if she was feeling like that after all. But he didn't let her continue. He cut her off by dropping a kiss on her lips, and said as she was melting at his touch, his lips brushing against hers.

"No, Swan. I insist. I'll come to wake you up when dinner will be ready, all right?"

"All right." She finally surrendered, smiling up at him and running her hand through his dark hair. "You are the best, you know that, Jones?"

"Aye, I know." he replied, and she burst out laughing at his words.

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 **Okay, that's it for today! I hope you liked it! See you soon! ;)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi guys! Sorry for not updating yesterday, I've been really busy this week-end and was too tired yesterday evening to do anything haha. But here's the new chapter! Thanks a lot to oncer4life11, Emilee Amethyst, dancingmylifeaway and Alexa for the reviews!**

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Laying on her side, her legs bent and all tangled with Killian's, her head resting on his bare chest, Emma was enjoying this quiet, perfect moment with her husband. Her hand was spread wide on his tight stomach, his arm was wrapped around her shoulders as she was trying to get the closer possible to him, and only their still jerky breaths were ringing into the silence of the room. She could hear the fast beats of his heart, and smiled, rocked by the sound. She moved a little bit, lifting her head up to kiss his chin in a tender gesture.

She was so happy to notice they were behaving just the way they had before this entire mess. They were even closer than before, if only it was possible. Three days had passed since their conversation on the low wall facing the ocean, and these three days had been absolutely, utterly perfect. They'd barely left each other once. Their days were punctuated by little kisses and hugs, no matter where they were or what they were doing, because they wanted to show just how much they loved each other. And their nights... Well, let's say they were pretty eventful as well, if nothing else. They'd barely slept in three days, but, _god_ , she wasn't complaining at all.

The sun had disappeared a long time ago, the sky dark, the moon full and the streets quiet. The kids were asleep for hours, and they'd enjoyed this time alone, but she didn't want to fall asleep, not yet. She wanted to enjoy Killian's presence by her side just for a little while longer. She wanted to kiss him until they were left breathless and feel the touch of his naked skin against hers.

"What are you thinking about?"

Killian's voice had rung into the quiet of the room, drawing her away from her pleasant thoughts. He'd asked his question is such a soft and tender tone her heart fluttered in her chest. Even now, despite her exhaustion and the activities they'd just finished not less than a few minutes earlier, she wanted him. But a little pillow talk was something she always enjoyed as well. She then moved a bit to look at him and answered with a teasing smile :

"I'm thinking about how much I love you."

He smiled at that, but arched an eyebrow in question. She giggled a bit against his skin. He was the one to make these kind of beautiful and romantic statements, usually. He seemed a bit surprised to hear her say those words, because it wasn't in her habits. She herself didn't know what'd gotten into her, but she'd just wanted to tell him how much she loved him. He playfully tickled her side and answered :

"You should be ashamed to steal my quotes like that."

"Maybe your behavior is starting to have an influence on me. And don't complain." She said in a falsely upset way because she knew he was teasing her by saying those words. "Otherwise, I won't say cute things to you anymore."

"Oh, but I'm not complaining." he said with laughter in his voice.

She looked up at him to see him raise his other eyebrow and offer her a funny face that made her laugh out loud. He was staring at her defiantly, as if she was daring him to do something. Then, without notice, he suddenly moved from under her head to straddle her, and her head fell back on the pillow behind her. She laughed, seeing him so eager, and felt her own heart starting to beat faster. That was exactly what she wanted, seeing him in that position, and she grabbed his arms to pull him closer. He stifled her laughter with a heated kiss, and she arched her back to glue her stomach to his.

"Mmm..." she said once he'd stopped, pressing his forehead against hers, her eyes still closed and licking her lips to get the last taste out of him. "If I'd known you would react that way, I would've said those stuffs way sooner."

It made him laugh again, and he moved to start kissing her lips, the kiss becoming more and more demanding. She moaned, but the sound was muffled by his mouth against hers. He was tasting like the pie they'd had for desert that night, and she titled her head to deepen this amazing sensation.

She wrapped her legs around his waist and made one of her hand run down his back to go cup his butt. She slid the other between them, and reached lower, searching for his manhood as she was feeling his growing arousal pressed against her stomach. She finally found the object of her desire, and wrapped her fingers around it as he was sucking on her lips, letting go of a little gasp. His own hand got down from her hair to cup her breast, and she let go of a little sigh of pleasure. His mouth left hers to start pressing open-mouthed kisses around her nipple, and she...

BAM!

A huge noise made them both startle. She brought both her hands back on Killian's chest, and he stopped kissing her breast to lift his head up, trying to understand what was going on. She herself lifted her weight on both her elbows to peer at the room and try to see if the noise hadn't come from an item that would have fallen on the floor. But everything seemed quiet and still, the surprised silence thick in the air for a second.

She didn't have to wait for long before getting answers to her questions, though. A few seconds after the loud noise, she heard Liam calling her name in a terrified tone, sobs in his throat. She understood right away that he'd probably lost control over his magic again, and that something had happened in his room.

She shared a worried glance with Killian, their eagerness to get together all replaced by the worry they were now feeling for their son. Hoping that nothing bad had happened and that her little boy wasn't too terrified, she said back : "I'm coming, baby!", before quickly getting off the bed, Killian doing the same. They both put on the clothes laying on the floor, and, without surprise, Leia's voice said from the other side of the hall only a few seconds after Liam's words :

"Daddy! There was a big noise!"

"I know, little love!" Killian said, hurrying up to put on his t-shirt. "I'm coming!"

They were ready at the same time, and shared another worried glance. Killian took the time to gently stroke Emma's hand, and dropped a kiss to her cheek to silently comfort her. Then they both went their separate ways, him going to Leia to try and comfort her, Emma going to Liam to see if she could help him feel better.

The memory of his terrified voice made her heart ache, and she swallowed the lump in her throat. She needed to look good for her little boy, because seeing her worried would only make things worse. But she was so concerned about him. These kind of accidents were more and more common now that he was older, and she couldn't wait for him to learn how to control all of this, because she really didn't want him to be scared.

She rushed to his room, and opened the door to see Liam curled up on himself in his bed, his little shoulders shaking from the violence of his sobs. His bedside lamp was shattered into a hundred pieces on the other side of the room, proving it'd flown quite a bit before finally crashing against a wall. She turned on the lights, and sat down next to Liam to try and comfort him. He immediately climbed on her lap and buried his face in her neck, and she held him tight, trying not to start crying at the sight of his tears and terror.

"I didn't do it on purpose, Mommy, I promise!" he sobbed in her neck, as if he was scared she would get mad at him.

"Hey, I know, baby." She whispered in a soft voice, rocking him against her chest. "It's not your fault. Everything's all right. I'm here now, you're okay..."

She spent a very long time trying to console him, rubbing his back and whispering comforting words in his ear. Her own heart was breaking at his reaction, and she was forcing herself to stay calm. When she finally felt like he was calming down a little, she pulled away from him, just a little bit, to peer at his face. Gently, she stroked his cheeks to wipe the tears off. He sniffled and said in a little voice, finally a bit comforted by his mom's presence by his side.

"I'm sorry, Mommy, I broke the lamp..."

"Hey, no worries, sweetheart." She said, forcing herself to smile at him to show him everything was just fine. "Look, I'm going to make it all better."

With a flick of her wrist, she used her powers, and the broken pieces of the lamp flew off the floor to float in the air. She moved her fingers, and the lamp slowly got back together, as if nothing had happened. Gently, still making it fly, she made it land on Liam's bedside. Her son had watched the entire scene with wide eyes, fascinated, and she turned back to him to say very softly.

"See? It's over. It's all fixed."

"I'm scared." Liam whimpered, rubbing his eyes, and she held him close again to try and reassure him.

"I know you are, buddy. I know it's scary. I was afraid too, at first, when I learned I had powers. But Regina helped me to control them, and she's going to do the same for you. You're gonna be able to control everything very soon. Everything is going to be just fine, I promise."

She continued to stroke his hair for a few minutes, and he finally seemed to relax as the door of the room was opening once again. Emma looked up to see Killian coming in, and she guessed that, now that Leia was asleep again, he'd wanted to know what'd happened to Liam. Her son didn't look up, but she gestured for her husband to come and join them on the bed. She knew his strong arms would be able to help Liam feel better, because their son would always feel safe with his father.

Killian approached them, and she pulled away from Liam. He climbed down her lap to go snuggle against his dad's chest, and Killian held him close, dropping a kiss to the top of his head. Her husband seemed so saddened by Liam's reaction, and he gently rocked him, rubbing his back before saying :

"Calm down, little mate, we're here. You're safe. Nothing can happen to you."

At these words, Liam let go of a little sigh and snuggled even closer to his dad. Once he seemed to be feeling all better, Emma placed her hand on his back and asked in a low voice :

"What scared you so much, sweetheart? Have you had a nightmare? Can you explain what it was?" She added once the little boy had nodded, his face buried into Killian's shirt.

"There was a fire, and people were screaming and you... You were both..."

"What were we, Liam?" Killian encouraged him gently, seeing their son had a hard time putting words on his feelings.

"You were dead." He finally said in a broken voice before turning to snuggle a little bit closer to Emma, so he was now sandwiched between his parents, looking at the edge of crying again.

She shared another glance with Killian, holding her son close to her. She was pretty sure Liam's dream was only just that : it wasn't a vision and they weren't risking anything. He was still too young for that, and nothing was threatening the town for now. It was just the dream of a worried little boy.

And that was what was more concerning. Because if Liam was having these kind of violent dreams, it meant he was scared. And it was probably a consequence of what he'd already lived in his life, of all those stories he'd heard about his parents. Killian'd died several times after all, they'd gone to the Underworld to save him, and it was proving Liam that his parents had been in danger so many times. And even if he was still almost a baby at the time, Emma had almost lost her life while she was pregnant with Leia. She'd been threatened by Zelena, who'd wanted to take revenge on the fact she'd sped her pregnancy up all those years ago, and this entire situation had ended with Leia being born way too soon and Emma almost dying during delivery. It was a miracle they were both still alive right now.

Somehow, Liam probably remembered these events. His nightmare meant that he was scared to lose his parents. Forcing herself to hold her tears back, she kissed her son's forehead and said in a voice she tried to keep steady :

"We're fine, Liam. We're here. Nothing is going to happen to us, you'll see."

She knew promising such a thing was risky. After all, she never knew what could happen. She could get hurt by crossing the road the next morning, she couldn't be sure that nothing would happen to her. But she needed to reassure her son, no matter how, because he couldn't worry and be scared. Killian continued, his shaky voice telling her he was hurt as well.

"You want us to tell you a story so you can fall back asleep, honey?"

Liam took a few seconds to answer, but ended up nodding his head. He pulled away from his parents to lay back down on his bed, and Emma followed him, laying next to him and wrapping her arm around his shoulders to hold him close. Liam took Killian's hand in his, as if to feel both his parents next to him on the bed and reassure himself. Then Killian asked softly :

"What story do you want to hear, little mate?"

"Could you tell me the story of how you met?"

Killian and Emma shared a little smile at the request. It was Liam's favorite story, and they'd told him this tale dozens of times. They were changing the story a bit as he was growing up, so it was getting closer and closer to how they'd actually met. Killian kissed their son's forehead, and she started in a gentle voice, smiling.

"Once upon a Time, there was a pirate, and a princess..."

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"Okay, dad." Emma said, her phone stuck between her chin and her shoulder as she was trying to put on her leather jacket. "I'm starving, so I'm going to go get something at Granny's. Do you want me to bring you something?"

"No, thanks, I just ate." he said to her ear as she was finally managing to put on the clothes.

"Got it. Something's happening in town?"

"Nope, everything's calm. For once." He added, what made her chuckle.

"Has Killian already eaten too, or do I have to take something for him?"

David and Killian had gone in the morning to patrol in a car, wanting to make sure everything was calm in town. They'd left her alone at the station with a ton of paperwork to do, and she was now starving for grilled cheese. She hadn't complained too much about being left with that kind of work, though. She usually hated it, but she was feeling exhausted by her short night – she regretted nothing – and she was really happy to stay inside, for once, especially since it was raining like crazy outside. She walked to the door, bracing herself for the awful weather, as her dad was answering.

"Wait, he's not with you?" She could almost see his frown in her mind. "That's strange. He left twenty minutes ago. He told me he was going to join you."

She didn't think to much out of it, knowing there was probably a good explanation to the fact her husband hadn't shown up yet. "He's probably at Granny's too. Maybe he wanted to go pick something up for me. I'm going, I'll know soon enough. See you later, dad." She added before hanging up.

She put her phone back in the pocket of her jeans and got under the rain with a groan. She bent her head and dived her hands inside the pockets of her jacket, trying to protect herself from the frozen wind that was reaching her bones. She looked up at the sky to find it completely painted in gray, a thunder in the distance promising that a storm was coming. Despite the weather, she decided to walk to the diner. It wasn't that far, and she needed to stretch her legs anyways. She reached Granny's in less than a few minutes, motivated in her race by the rain tickling her face and by her stomach growling.

God, she was starving. The huge breakfast she'd had that morning was looking so far away, and she was hoping that Killian was in the diner as well. She wanted to share her meal with him, talk a little bit, hear his laugh and see him smile. Since things had gotten better between them, she wanted to feel him close, always, as if she was scared to lose him again.

She'd finally accepted the secrets he was keeping from her, now that he'd promised her not to see Jasmine anymore. She was refusing to let all of this ruin their relationship, and had then forced herself to forget about everything that'd happened. Killian'd had a conversation with his friend on the phone to explain her he didn't want to see her anymore for personal reasons. He'd insisted for Emma to be there the entire time and listen to them talk. Now, she was determined to trust Killian, completely and utterly. She'd forced herself to bring her walls down again, with his help, and she was feeling so much better. It was as if nothing at all had occurred in the last few days, as if everything was perfectly normal and what she'd gone through had only been a bad dream.

It's with relief that she finally joined the diner. She was shaking, her hair was wet because of the rain, and she just wanted to go get warmed up and eat something. She then opened the door of the place, making the little bell ring on her way, and let go of a sigh when she noticed how warm it was inside. After closing the door behind her to keep the cold at bay, she looked around to see if Killian was there as well. It didn't take long for her to see his familiar figure at the back of the diner, and she smiled, hoping to be able to share a few moments with him. Still standing in front of the door, she lifted her hand up to wave at him and showed him she was there, her smile spreading on her face.

He looked up at her, probably alerted by her big gestures and the sound of the bell. She kept on smiling, but, against all odds, he didn't grin back and his eyes widened. She thought she could read fear in them, and frowned, completely confused. He was looking exactly like Liam when he'd been busted doing something he shouldn't have. Why wasn't he happy to see her? It didn't make any sense at all. She was about to approach him to ask him what was wrong and if she could help when she noticed that someone was sitting face to him, turning their back to her. She stopped, and chewed on her bottom lip, before peering at the figure facing her husband.

She almost gasped when she realized who it was. It was a woman. With a feminine and gorgeous figure and long, dark hair falling in her back.

Emma immediately felt her heart skipping a beat, then starting to race so fast it hurt her. She lost her smile, she didn't even know what to do, how to react to that. It couldn't be possible, anyways. She was having a nightmare or something. Or she was mistaking. It couldn't be _her._ He'd promised her he would never see her again. He'd called _her_ to talk about his decision. He couldn't have broken her trust. He wouldn't do that, never.

Probably feeling watched, the woman turned to face her, following Killian's gaze that still hadn't left her. Her husband seemed speechless, as if he had no idea of what to do or say to make the situation better. And, as the woman moved, Emma could finally see her face.

Her heart skipped another beat and she felt like she was going to throw up. It was her. She hadn't been mistaking. It was Jasmine.

She found herself unable to think for an endless second, completely confused, because she just couldn't believe it. Then, the reality of the situation hit her like a punch in the stomach, and she turned to look at Killian, searching for something that would tell her it wasn't real, anything, really, that would make her believe this wasn't happening. Her husband finally started to move again, and, seeing her reaction, he got off the booth, probably wanting to approach her and explain what was going on.

But she didn't give him the time to do so. Her mind was finally catching up on what was happening. She realized she wasn't dreaming, and all of this was actually real. Everything seemed to start moving again in her head, and she felt tears of anger blurring her vision. So she did the only thing she was able to do, once again.

Running away, running far, far away from there. She couldn't have this conversation with her husband in the middle of the diner. She would start yelling, and she couldn't do that. Not in front of Jasmine. She was too proud to make a scene again.

So she turned her back to Killian, who was trying to reach her, and opened the door almost violently. She needed to escape, or her heart would burst and she didn't know what would happen to her. She was terrified, as if her world was being turned upside down before her eyes and she couldn't do anything to stop it from falling apart.

"Swan!" Killian screamed when he saw that she was running away.

She didn't pay any kind of attention to him. She slammed the door behind her back, and started to run in the streets, not even knowing where she was going, as if the devil was chasing her.

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She ran to her house. Running had always managed to make her feel better. She had nowhere else to go, and this place was containing so many happy memories she was hoping it would calm her down. She was feeling like she was about to turn insane. She couldn't hide for him, though, he was chasing her, yelling for her to wait. But she was faster, her anger was giving her wings. She couldn't remember if she'd run that fast once in her life. She couldn't escape, though, she knew it. Unless taking her car and going out of town, he would catch up on her eventually. And she couldn't abandon her family like that.

She really wanted to tell him just what she was thinking about all of this, anyways. How dared he? He'd promised her to never see this woman again, and he was doing it behind her back! Hell, he was the one who'd offered her this solution in the first place! So what was he doing with _her_ while he'd told her dad he was coming to join her at the station? He'd lied to her. She was feeling so betrayed. She'd trusted him and he'd let her down. She'd brought her walls down, for him, and he'd lied to her face. As everyone before him. Because, obviously, no one would ever love her enough to not leave her eventually.

She let the front door open behind her. She knew he was going to join her anyways, and she couldn't lock herself in, it was his house too. She was drenched by the rain that'd become even stronger, and she was shaking from the cold and her anger. She was feeling like she was going to explode.

During the minute he took to join her, she walked into the living room like a wild animal locked up in a cage. She ended up grabbing a clipboard made out of crystal that was laying on the coffee table to throw it with all the strength she could gather against the opposite wall of the room. It hit it with a horrible din, and shattered into a dozen pieces, right when Killian was joining her in the room

It was the only way she'd found to not turn her anger against him and punch him right in the face. Despite everything, she didn't want to hurt him. He seemed deeply shocked by how violent her gesture had been, because he stayed still for a few seconds, standing far from her as if he was scared she was going to throw him against a wall too.

She looked at him in the eyes for a few seconds, her chest rising up and down at the fast pace of her breathing. She was panting, the oxygen wasn't reaching her lungs anymore. She was so mad, and she didn't know what she was capable of doing in the state of rage she was in. Finally, he ended up reaching for her hand and started in a soft tone :

"Swan, look..."

"No!" She shouted in return, taking two steps back to walk away from him, feeling so betrayed finding herself in the same room as him was almost unbearable. "You don't get to talk! Shut up!"

"Emma, listen!" He said, almost begging. "It's not what it looks like! I'm sorry..."

"Sorry? You're sorry?" She repeated, clenching her fists so hard her fingernails dived into her palm. "You think that fucking changes something? You promised me you would never see her again! Fuck, you're the one who offered me this!"

"Listen, I know it looks bad, but it's not what you think it is! I wanted to go to Granny's to get you something to eat. She started to talk to me. I didn't want to be rude and push her away, love..."

"Don't call me that!"

He took a step back in surprise. That was his way of calling her, and the fact she'd yelled those words showed how damn mad she was. She hadn't really thought about it, if she was being honest. Because she could see he was being sincere. And if what he was saying was true, it was better that what she'd thought in the first place. He wasn't cheating on her, he hadn't really broken his promise. But could she really trust him, after everything that'd happened? She was always trusting, and was always ending up getting hurt. God, she was so stupid.

"And how do I know you're not lying?" She then continued, in a lower voice as she was trying to calm down.

"Swan, I swear to you, I swear on everything that I'm telling the truth! Use your super-power!" He asked, looking like he didn't know what to do anymore. "Analyze me to see if I'm lying! You trust me, don't you?"

"Trust you? I thought I could, yeah." She snapped, this sentence making her all angry again. "But how could I do this now that I just saw you with _her?_ "

"Bloody hell, Emma!" He said, starting to scream as well, as if he was slowly losing his patience. "We're married, we have kids together! You have to trust me! Have I already betrayed you once beforet?"

"But you were with her! And you promised me! You promised me you wouldn't see her anymore!"

"For the hundredth time, Emma, she is nothing for me, understand? It was unexpected, and I didn't say no because I was surprised! Because she is my friend and I didn't want to let her down or hurt her feelings!"

"Well, meanwhile, you let _me_ down!" She said with sobs in her voice. "And I'm your wife!"

"You're impossible!" he then said, almost in a mean way that made her blink in surprise. "Your bloody walls, they are trying to become unbearable, Emma! I chose you, not her! But with your jealousy and your distrust, I'm starting to have enough, trust me!"

She almost choked on the air, completely outraged. It was his fault! He was the only one to blame, and he was still getting mad at her? She was the one who got to be mad, not him! He had no right to act that way.

She was feeling like her anger was devouring her from the inside. She wasn't managing to calm herself down anymore, damn, she didn't want to. She had trusted the wrong person, again. She hadn't learned her lessons. He'd betrayed her, and she was so _fucking_ mad at him for making her trust him in the first place. In a rage, she said in a tone as cold as ice :

"Oh yeah? You're the one who has enough of me? Well, you know what? I'm gonna make things easy for you."

And with those words, she walked past him, smacking his shoulders with her own on the way, to rush to the front door and walk under the rain. She was so mad, and she definitely wasn't able to find herself in the same room as him right now. She wondered internally if she would ever be able to do such a thing again.

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 **Ok, that's it for today! I know Emma's reaction can seem a bit extreme, but he did promise her something and broke his promise... Killian isn't cheating on her though, His encounter with Jasmin was an accident, and the arguments are almost over I promise! See you next week! :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**_Guys! I totally mixed up the reviews! Wait let me do that again xD_**

 ** _thanks a lot to Julia-CS, oncer4life11, dancingmylifeaway, ellegirlie77, paupaupi, Emilee Amethyst, Guest and Alexa for the reviews! :)_**

 ** _Sorry for the mistakes! I don't know what happened lol. Forgive my dumb-self, I love you all 3_**

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 _You're impossible!_

Emma was walking with quick steps, ignoring the rain that'd gotten even stronger than before. She'd found herself soaking wet as soon as she'd walked out of the house, and her clothes were unpleasantly sticking to her skin.

She couldn't believe what had just happened. She wasn't managing to process the information she'd just received. The words Killian'd pronounced had been so hard. They'd never fought like this before, never that violently. And, usually, every time they would be mad at each other or wouldn't agree on something, they would manage to calm down and not start yelling like they'd just done. But this time, it was too late. She was feeling like the infinite trust she'd once placed in him had been broken into a thousand pieces, just like her heart.

His words were still ringing in her head, crashing against her painful skull, only increasing her pain by trying to murder her and transform her into ashes.

 _I'm starting to have enough, trust me!_

So, he had enough of her? He'd said those words as if it was the most natural thing, as if it was normal, as if it wasn't going to make her sick to her stomach. Because he was the one who'd done her wrong, here! He had no right to yell at her. He'd promised her he'd never see Jasmine again, and he'd lied to her. And now, he dared putting all the fault on her? He dared complaining about the fact she was jealous?

He was right on that one, though. She was horribly jealous, and if she'd been too ashamed before to admit it to herself, she wasn't anymore. Because she was right to be, if he was seeing this woman behind her back.

Despite her anger, she suddenly felt like it was melting a bit to be replaced by a horrible sadness. That was it. That'd finally happened, what she'd been scared of for all those years. He'd ended up opening his eyes and noticing all her flaws, and he couldn't take it anymore. Despite what he'd promise her on that wall a few days ago – god, these peaceful moments seemed so far gone, now – he wasn't accepting her contradictions. And perhaps he was right. Because, putting herself in his shoes, she was finding herself unbearable.

But even if that was true, he didn't have the right to lie to her right to her face. If he didn't love her anymore, he should have told her out loud, he couldn't betray her like that. It was so painful. She was so mad at him, she wanted to hate him, but she couldn't do such a thing and she was scared. Scared that this fight had been the last one because they couldn't come back from this. Scared it would change everything between them. Scared their beautiful love story was over, and her happiness gone with it. After all, they'd gone so far this time. Could they redeem themselves, could they put their pride aside to apologize and make things better? She was doubting it, somehow

The rain was sneaking through the collar of her sweater and rolling down the thin skin of her chest. She was shaking, she was freezing to death. She wouldn't have been more drenched if she'd dived into a pool with her clothes on. The streets were empty because of the storm, which was only going to get stronger if she was trusting her instinct and the violent wind gusts looking like it could uproot the trees.

She didn't know where to go to protect herself from the weather. She couldn't go back home, obviously. Killian would be there, and she really didn't want to see him right now. She would only get angrier. She couldn't go to her parents either, they would ask her hundreds of questions, and she didn't want to talk with them about what'd happened, she wasn't just ready yet. So, without really knowing why, her steps brought her to the wall facing the ocean, the same wall on which they'd shared their beautiful conversation only a few days earlier.

She collapsed on it without paying any attention to the rain or the fact she was probably going to get sick if she was staying under the storm, only dressed in her light leather jacket. She stayed there for a very long time, lost in her thoughts, just looking at the restless waves crashing violently on the beach under her feet. The ocean was torn apart by the storm, mirroring what she was feeling inside. The wind gusts were so strong, and she knew she could fall off her perch any minutes, but she didn't care. She was finding it hard to care about anything, really.

She didn't know what she was doing there, she didn't know what she was waiting for by staying under the storm like that. It's only moments later that she finally realized why she'd come there. It surprised her herself. She was actually waiting for Killian, it was obvious. She was so mad at him, she was hating him for what he'd said to her and the fact he'd lied. But at the same time, she wanted to feel his body against hers. She wanted to hope he was going to realize how wrong he'd been and apologize to her. She wanted to believe he was still loving her and this was just a fight, nothing else, it wasn't the end of their story. It was were they would meet, always.

So she waited.

But he didn't come. He didn't come and she was feeling like her heart was going to literally break in her chest. Desperate, trying to find a reason why he would abandon her like this, because now she was hanging to the fact he still loved her, despite everything, he had to, she got her cellphone out of her pocket, naively hoping he'd at least called her.

But she had no missed call, not even a text. And it could only mean one thing. He'd meant what he'd told her. He didn't care about her. For all she knew, he was cheating on her with Jasmine since the girl had arrived in town. He could even be at her place right now. They were probably having a great laugh, imagining her under the pouring rain, waiting for him like a perfect idiot.

The anger took its place back in her veins, and she was relieved to feel this instead of this horrible sadness. She jumped off her wall to get back on the ground. She wasn't going to wait like this for someone who didn't even care anymore. The storm had gotten even stronger now, and she couldn't see two feet ahead of her because of the rain. But she knew where to go. She wasn't lost anymore. So she started to run. It wasn't to escape the rain, though, but to evacuate this rage, this tension that was giving her the feeling she was going to implode.

The wind was hissing to her ears, the water on her soaking wet hair was dripping in her neck and rolling down her spine. She didn't stop running, going at a breakneck speed, trying to exhaust herself, as if she was trying to escape from an invisible danger. The empty streets were giving Storybrooke the appearance of a ghost town. All the citizens were at home, probably curled up under warm blankets. She was the only idiot who'd stayed under the rain for so long, waiting for a man who didn't even give a damn about her. She'd probably caught a cold. No one would care about it, anyways.

She was feeling so alone, and she needed to punch something, anything. To avoid getting black home to glue her fist into Killian's jaw – because that wasn't going to solve anything, she knew it – she headed for the station, hoping her dad wasn't there. She wanted to be alone. She didn't want to talk to anyone right now. Given the storm raging inside of her, she would probably yell at anyone who'd try to talk to her, and it was only going to worsen things.

Luckily, when she arrived, the station was completely empty. Her dad was probably at home with her mom and baby brother, drinking hot cocoa and watching a movie. She didn't walk to the main room, and immediately took the direction of the basement. She ran down the stairs in the dark, almost tripping on each steps, but once again, she didn't give a damn about getting hurt.

She finally arrived at the bottom of the stairs, and turned out the lonely bulb hanging in the middle of the room. It bluntly enlightened a leather punchbag, hooked to the dusty ceiling by a chain, and a pull up bar, a bit rusty, placed in the corner of the room.

She was the one who'd created this place in secret, when she'd first come to Storybrooke, right after Graham's death. She'd wanted to stay in shape, and she would also sometimes feel the strong need to get her emotions out of her, when they would start to get too strong to bear.

No one knew about this place, they were still thinking the basement was completely empty, and no one except her would never come down there. It was just perfect. It'd been a little while since she'd come here, but she really needed it right now. When she needed to be alone and she didn't want to be found, she would come right there to rage against the bag and pretend it was the reason for all her problems. It would always make her feel better. She needed it more than ever.

She took off her clothes to put on the red tank top and the black leggings that she was keeping down there and that were laying on the floor. She tossed her drenched clothes in a corner without paying attention to the fact the floor was dusty, and quickly wrapped bandages around her hands to avoid hurting herself too much, given how hard she was probably going to punch. Then she faced the punchbag, and quickly crushed her fists against the hard area without paying attention to the scratches appearing on her skin as she was hitting the leather.

She stayed for a very long time there, punching, harder and harder, panting as the oxygen wasn't able to reach her lungs anymore. The sweat had replaced the rain and was rolling down her face. She was exhausting herself without even realizing it, but her anger was melting, transforming into sadness once again.

She was trying to ignore it, though, she was trying to evacuate everything with the effort, but it soon became too strong to bear. She couldn't believe she'd perhaps lost Killian too. She'd thought he would never give up on her, and now he was gone. And yet, she still loved him so much. She'd tried to do her best, but she'd failed, again. Everyone always ended up abandoning her, and it was her fault, it had to be, it was the only explanation. Because she wasn't able to love correctly. And Killian had probably decided he was deserving better than her. She was starting to believe he wasn't completely wrong to think that way.

Her emotions took control over her, and she ended up pounding the bag, her hands hurting at the violence of her gestures. Then, suddenly, she stopped, completely exhausted. And now that she was still, she wasn't able to contain everything anymore. She couldn't control herself, and she started to sob, almost violently.

She collapsed on the floor, tears running down her cheeks, her muscles painful and her breath jerky. She laid down on her back on the cold and dusty floor, trying to catch her breath and calm down, without managing to do so. It was horrifying. She was feeling like she was going to drown in her own tears. She couldn't breathe anymore.

She didn't want to lose him, she couldn't. She'd trusted him, and he'd hurt her, while he'd promised to protect her heart. She just wanted everything to be the way it was before. When he was still loving her, when he was still thinking that she was the prefect match for him. When he was looking at her like she was brighter than the stars themselves. But he'd ended up seeing the truth, and now he'd had enough of her. It was hurting so much.

She cried for a very long time, alone in the basement, her sobs ringing oddly in the quiet surrounding her. She let go of all her pain without trying to hold it back. And then, after what seemed like an eternity, she finally calmed down.

She stayed on the floor, one hand on her stomach, her eyes closed. She forced herself to take some deep and slow breaths, trying to stop her tears. Crying wasn't going to help her at all. It'd made her feel a bit better to finally let go, but now she had to pull herself together. Even if she was in pain, she had to settle down. She had three wonderful kids, parents who loved her, a baby brother, dozens of friends. Even if Killian didn't want her in his life anymore, she wasn't alone. She was surrounded, she had people to help her get through this. She was going to survive this, she was strong. The miserable young woman blowing her birthday candle in the loneliness of her apartment in Boston was gone for good. She wouldn't come back. She had to convince herself of it.

It's only when her breathing finally calmed down that a noise made her tilt her head on its side. She frowned and sat down on the floor, feeling exhausted by all these tears. A bit confused, she needed a few seconds to realize it was her cellphone ringing, the noise reverberating strangely against the walls. She got up, slowly, to go fetch the device in the pocket of her jeans, guessing it was probably Ashley who wanted to know when she would be there to fetch the kids.

But she had to hold back a gasp of surprise when she looked down at the screen. She had dozens of notifications, missed calls and texts, and she wondered during a horrible and confusing second if something had happened to one member of her family during the storm. With somewhat shaky gestures because of her fear, she opened the first text, and realized they were all coming from Killian.

" ** _Swan, come back. I'm so sorry. I should never have told you this."_**

She shook her head, completely confused. She'd been gone for hours, what the hell was he doing? She scrolled down to see the rest of the texts. He'd sent her dozens of them, looking more and more worried as she was going on.

" _ **Emma, I know I hurt you, but please answer me."**_

" _ **I'm so worried."**_

" _ **Lass, come back. I'm home, I'm not going anywhere. I'm waiting for you. We have to talk about all of this."**_

" _ **I'm sorry, sweetheart. I hate myself. I love you so much."**_

" _ **Emma, please answer me. I'm scared something has happened to you."**_

She wondered for a few seconds why he was sending her all of this now. It wasn't making any sense, not while she'd been out of the house for so long. Then she noticed the time written underneath each texts, and she understood.

He'd sent her the first one not even two minutes after she'd left the house. The network had probably been saturated because of the storm. He was trying to reach her since she'd walked away. He was feeling bad. He loved her.

He still wanted her in his life

She didn't know what to do anymore, she was completely lost. She'd convinced herself he didn't love her, and now he was worried and was trying to reach her for hours. She then noticed he'd left her a voice message, and decided to listen to it. She thought that, perhaps, hearing his voice would help her decide what to do.

She glued the device to her ear, and Killian's voice wasn't long to ring from inside the cellphone. Her heart skipped a beat at that. Despite everything, hearing his deep voice still made butterflies appear in her stomach, but she also felt like crying again. His tone was so thick with tears it was almost unbearable to listen to.

" _Swan, I'm trying to reach you for hours and you aren't answering to me. I've waited for you to come back home, I've tried to respect your silence because I know I deserve it, you have every right to hate me for what I did and said. What I told you was horrible, and I didn't mean a word of it. And I'm so sorry I talked to Jasmine without telling you, if only you knew how much I hate myself for this. But I'm starting to get really worried. There is a storm outside, you're out there for hours and I'm scared your silence is hiding something bad. God, darling, I would never forgive myself if something happened to you because of me, because of what I did. I'm going out to try and find you. We will always find each other, right? I want to talk about all of this with you, I want to show you how sorry I am. I'm scared, love, I already miss you. I don't want to lose you, I can't lose you. You're the most amazing woman I've ever met, and I hate myself for making you suffer like this. You deserve everything, you deserve the entire world, and I'm sorry I couldn't offer you this happiness. I love you so bloody much. I hope you're okay. Please, send me a text when you'll receive this message. Even if you don't want to talk to me, just to show me you're all right. I hope you'll come back to me soon, lass. You're my everything_."

She stayed still for a little while, the cellphone still glued to her ear even if he'd stopped talking, as if she wanted to listen to his voice, just for a little bit longer. His words had helped her, though, as she'd hoped they would.

Sure, he'd acted like a true idiot, and she was still mad at him, but she hadn't lost him. She'd been able to hear in his voice how genuinely worried he was, how much he loved her. They would get through this, as always. And even if she was feeling like the trust she'd placed in him was a bit broken, she still loved him, and she wanted to forgive him. Maybe she would even manage to trust him completely again, she wanted to, anyways, even if it would take time. They were a family. And a family had ups and downs, nothing could be absolutely perfect. But they would make it, together She was so convinced of it.

She then decided to go back home. He wasn't there anyways, and she wanted to take a warm shower, she wanted to wrap herself in a blanket with a cup of hot cocoa in her hands, because that would help her think.

She then put on her clothes again, dry now, since they'd stayed on the floor for quite a long time, and got out of the station. She was hoping that no one was back in the streets yet. The storm had calmed down, but, luckily, it was still freezing cold and the town was empty. A little rain was still pouring from the sky, tickling her face.

She made a point to avoid the road she would usually take to go home. She didn't want to cross path with someone she knew, and, mostly, she knew Killian was out there, looking for her, and she didn't want to see him. Not now, not while she still hadn't had the time to think about everything that had happened in the last half an hour.

She got home pretty quickly. As she'd hoped it would, her house was completely empty. The kids were at Ashley's, and Killian was probably still searching for her out there. She closed the door behind her back to keep the cold at bay, and immediately headed for the kitchen. She made herself a hot cocoa before sitting down on her couch, a blanket tightly wrapped around her shoulders.

She then sighed, and got the cellphone out of her pocket once again. She knew she had to talk to Killian now, to reassure him. He had the perfect right to know that she was okay, and he'd seemed so worried when she'd heard his voice, she just wanted to comfort him. She also knew a simple text wouldn't be enough after what'd happened between them. Even if she was mad at him, even if he'd hurt her, he needed to hear her voice right now. Despite everything, it was her part as his wife to comfort him.

So, after staring blankly at the screen, as if it could offer her every answer to her questions, she decided it was time. She quickly called Killian, pulling the phone to her ear before changing her mind.

She didn't really know what to say to him, an was nervously waiting for an answer. The cellphone had barely had the time to ring once that Killian had already picked it up, though. He started to talk before she could say anything, his voice shaking because of the worry he'd probably felt for the last couple of hours.

"Emma! Thank god, you're there. Are you all right? You're not hurt, are you?"

"I'm fine." She answered, a bit more coldly that she would have wanted to, but she couldn't help herself. "The network's been touched by the storm." She wasn't sure he would understand this last statement, so she added. "I didn't receive your messages until much later."

"So... You thought that... I hadn't tried to call you?"

She didn't answer and bit her bottom lip instead, trying to ignore her stomach that'd twisted at the sound of his voice. He was obviously feeling so guilty. And he seemed to be so appalled by the fact she'd thought he'd abandoned her for good. She could almost see his eyes shinning with unshed tears, and her chest ached at that. He continued in a shaky, almost fragile voice :

"I've been so scared. You weren't answering and I thought something had happened to you. Are you home?"

"I am." she simply answered, not really knowing what to say as she was torn apart between the facts she was angry at him, but also wanted to comfort him.

"You want me to come? We have to talk about everything. I want to redeem myself. I am so sorry about everything, darling, I hate myself for what happened. I've behaved like an idiot. Can I come and join you?"

She didn't say anything once again, her contradictory thoughts crashing inside her brain and almost giving her a migraine. She wanted to talk, sure, she wanted to make things better between them, but she wasn't feeling ready yet. She was scared she'd get mad at him, and it would only worsen the situation. She needed to take a few moments, all by herself, to think a little bit. But she was also aware that she couldn't keep him out of the house. It was his home too, and he had the prefect right to get shelter there as well.

He started to talk again before she could answer anything and find a solution. "You don't want to see me right now." He guessed in a broken voice.

"It's just... I need time." She answered, trying to sound calm. "But don't stay out under the rain like that. I can go to my parents'. You have the perfect right to come into your own house..."

"I have the Jolly Roger." He cut her off softly. "I can stay there for a while. I deserve this, after all. And I understand that you're mad at me, god, I'm mad at myself too. But please, allow me to show you how sorry I am. I would do anything to prove how much I love you, Emma. I am so sorry."

"I know you are." She whispered, her fingers holding the cellphone so tight her knuckles had turned white. "It won't take long, I promise. I just need a few minutes. I'll call you before tonight."

"Whatever you need, darling. I'm waiting for your call. And... I love you, Swan. Don't ever forget that, all right?"

She didn't say anything, she still wasn't feeling good enough to tell him she loved him back. She just listened to his jerky breath for a few seconds before hanging up, with the horrible feeling she'd probably made him cry.

She was so confused. She didn't know how to act, and she was so lost, now. She was mad at him, she was feeling betrayed, humiliated, and she didn't want to talk to him. But at the same time, she was still loving him so much, and his shaky voice at the other side of the line, muffled by the guilt and the sadness, had touched her so deeply. Deciding everything would probably seem clearer when she would be warmer, she got off the couch and headed for her bathroom, her heart still pounding quickly in her chest.

She spent more than half an hour under the burning hot water, her head against the wall of the shower. When she finally got out, she was feeling better, as if the water had purified her. She was now determined to act like the adult she was. She needed to talk to her husband, it was the only good reaction to have. She needed to stop running and face her responsibilities. She then sent him a text after getting dressed with clean and comfortable clothes, her hair, still drenched by the shower, wetting her t-shirt.

" **I'll go get the kids at Ashley's. I'll call you when they'll be in bed. We need to talk without being interrupted."**

" **Okay, Swan. I'm waiting. I love you."** he answered only a few seconds later.

She could guess he wanted to tell her he loved her all the time, now, just to prove he was being sincere. She sighed, and made herself a huge cup of coffee to try and clear up her mind. Then she got out the house to join the pouring rain and go get Liam and Leia at their baby-sitter's

* * *

The kids had just fallen asleep. It hadn't been an easy thing to put them in bed that night, they'd both guessed that something was off. Liam hadn't really been convinced by her lie when she'd told him his dad was out doing some adult stuffs, and Leia had asked several times where her daddy was and had refused to fall asleep until she'd collapsed, completely exhausted, in her mother's arms.

It was later then she'd hoped it would be when she was finally able to call Killian. She really hoped that he'd found shelter on the Jolly Roger and wasn't outside, all alone, under the rain. She was mad, but she was still worrying for him. She didn't want him to catch a cold.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she was grabbing her cellphone. It was time to finally have this conversation. She was exhausted, the events of the day had drained all her energy, but she really wanted to have a true discussion with her husband, now. She wanted to make everything better, to give him a chance, to rebuild this trust she'd lost in him. She just didn't want to lose him.

She sat down on her couch, pulling a blanket around her shoulders to comfort herself in the heat of it. Then she simply wrote, reading the text several times before actually sending it : _**"The kids are finally in bed. They asked after you. You can come back, if you want."**_

She waited for a few minutes, the phone in her hand, touching the screen every few seconds to see if he'd answered, but nothing came. She frowned, worried by this unusual silence. He would always answer her right away. He should have been particularly quick that night, after knowing she would reach for him. But she tried to reassure herself : it hadn't been that long since she'd sent the text, after all. Maybe he didn't have the device with him at that exact moment. Maybe the network was still a bit touched by the storm. Maybe he'd fallen asleep while waiting for her.

She turned on the TV, trying to change her mind by putting on a movie, but it didn't work at all. She sighed, looking blankly at the clock for what seemed like the hundredth times in a few minutes. Then she decided she'd had enough. Patience wasn't her strong suit, and she really needed to talk to her husband.

She then called Killian, to finally understand what the hell was going on. It rang several times, before falling to his voice mail. She frowned again, chewing on her bottom lip. From as far as she could remember, he'd always answered her. She tried to ignore the little voice at the back of her head yelling that something was wrong, and started to talk, wanting to leave him a message.

"Hey, Killian. I sent you a text, but you're not answering. Maybe you didn't see it, I don' know. I just wanted to tell you you can come back home, I'm ready to talk. And, hum..." She added, not really knowing if it was a good idea, but wanting to show him she was worried. "I hope everything's okay. Come back to me soon."

She hung up, and placed the phone on the coffee table to resist the desire to touch the screen every two seconds to see if he was answering. She brought her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She didn't know what to do about that silence. She was so concerned, but she was trying to reassure herself. There were hundreds of reasons explaining why he wasn't answering to her. Nothing was wrong. He was fine. She just had to be a little patient.

And so she waited.

* * *

 **Okay, I hope you liked it! See you next week! :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys! thanks to oncer4life11, Emilee Amethyst, dancingmylifeaway, paupaupi, Alexa and Guest for the reviews!**

 **This chapter is such a long one because at the beginning, they were actually two different parts of this story. But I decided to put the parts together, so this story will actually be 20 or 21-chapter-long ! Also, I apologize for the mistakes I probably made... Given how long this chapter is, I didn't have the time to read it a second time as I usually do! :)  
**

* * *

Emma was waiting for more than an hour, now. Her desire to stop worrying was now long gone. Her trick, that'd consisted in leaving her phone on the coffee table to avoid looking at it, had worked for the first half an hour, but the device was now back in her hand, and she was touching the screen so often that she was a bit scared she would end up breaking the thing. She had even made sure that her texts had been sent all right, at least ten times, if no more, but she hadn't found anything explaining why her husband was staying so silent. No call, no text, no news telling her he was okay.

She was trying her best to hold back the pure feeling of panic that was slowly taking over her at the thought that, maybe, something had happened to him while he was out there. _By her fault_.

She'd tried to watch TV, but the movie was now long forgotten in her mind, and she'd ended up turning the screen off because it was stressing her even more to notice she couldn't focus. She'd even gone to fetch a pack of peanuts in the kitchen, trying to eat something to busy her hands and pass the time. Except that her nervousness had made her eat the entire pack without her even realizing it, and her stomach was now painful because it was the only thing she'd swallowed since breakfast.

She chewed on her bottom lip, and felt the taste of blood under her tongue : she'd bitten too hard. She groaned, and anxiously glanced at the clock above the fireplace. It was almost midnight. God, he should have been home for a long time. Something was definitely off.

She'd tried to patiently wait for an answer, because there could be a thousand explanations at why he wasn't texting her back. But now, it was just sounding wrong. He would always answer her so quickly, and he should have been even quicker that night since they'd had a fight – and a big one. He'd seemed like he'd wanted to talk to her, earlier. So what was going on, and why was he torturing her with this horrible silence, now?

She wrapped her fingers around the phone resting on her lap, made it spin a few times, almost dropping it to the ground. She didn't know what to do anymore. She couldn't go out and search for him herself, the kids were home, and there was no way she would leave Liam and Leia all alone.

What about calling her parents to ask them to come and watch the kids for a while? That wasn't a solution either. She didn't want them to know what was happening, they would ask her so many questions she didn't want to answer to. Besides, it was late, and she would probably wake her brother up.

She couldn't call anyone, actually, everybody was probably sleeping tightly in their bed, unaware of the storm raging inside her chest. She scrolled through her contacts, and suddenly met Henry's number. She wavered a bit. She didn't want him to know what was happening, he was her son and she wasn't going to worry him by telling him Killian wasn't home. But he was probably the only one in this damn town who was still up, she knew he would always work on his novel until late at the night.

She really needed to talk to someone, or she would go crazy. After a few more seconds of hesitation, and with a little sigh, she decided to send him a text, in order not to bother him in case he would be sleeping. She just needed to get her mind off things, and maybe talking to her son would help. She typed quickly :

" **Hey kid, what's up?"**

She groaned again in frustration and resisted the sudden desire to throw her phone against the wall. She was more than aware her text was sounding everything but natural. They hadn't seen each other all day, and sure, they would text from time to time when they were apart, but she would never send him things like this at midnight. It was absurd, she knew it. And her son was perceptive. He would obviously know that something was off _._

He wasn't long to answer, and she winced at his text. **"Hey, Mom, is something wrong?"**

She typed an answer right away, just wanting to go back in time and not have this stupid thought to text her son. Why did she think it was a good idea in the first place? She really didn't want to worry him, not in addition to everything. **"It's fine. I thought maybe you weren't in bed yet. Just wanted to know how you were doing."**

" **At midnight? You think I'm stupid? Don't play smart with me. What's going on?"** he insisted.

She nervously tapped her foot against the floor, cursing herself under her breath. She didn't answer, though, hoping he would let go and go back to whatever he was doing. She rubbed her phone against her pants, embarrassed by her own behavior. The conversation had escalated quickly. She was hating herself for dragging her son into this situation, and she didn't know what to tell him now. Maybe she should just play dead. Maybe she should pretend she'd fallen asleep, and he would give up. But a few minutes later, another text came in.

" **Ok Mom, if you're not answering, I'm coming to our place."**

She let go of a frustrated puff of air, realizing that her son was as stubborn as she was. Damn. Why had she done such a thing? She should have known it would end like this. Henry had nothing to do with this entire mess, and she genuinely hadn't wanted to concern him. But now she couldn't go back. Aware that his text wasn't just a threat and that he was actually capable of coming to her house in the middle of the night if he needed to, she answered :

" **No, kid, please don't come. It's late. I'm sorry I texted you in the first place. I should just go to bed. See you tomorrow?"**

" **Not happening. I wanna know what's wrong."**

she sighed for what seemed like the thousandth times in a few minutes. He wouldn't let it go, and it was her own fault. She thought about what to do for a few minutes, wondering if she should just play dumb. But he would probably insist so she would tell him everything. She then decided to save them some time by telling him the truth right away. He was eighteen after all, he was an adult and he wanted to know. She answered quickly :

" **Don't worry, it's just Killian. He didn't come home. I just needed to talk to someone. Sorry that someone was you. I'm stupid."**

She was feeling so guilty her heart was racing in her chest. Acting that way had been so foolish. She had no clue of why the hell she'd thought it would be a good idea to start talking to him. She knew her son, she knew how stubborn he could get and that he wouldn't just answer to her first text, but try to read between the lines. This situation was her problem, not his. And now he was worried, because of her. He was her son. She should never have dragged him into this.

" **Of course I worry, Mom, it's not nothing! And you're not stupid, it's ok to be worried. Have you tried to call him?"**

She'd given up on trying to reassure him now, he wouldn't let go anyways. **"Yup, he's not answering."**

" **Have you tried calling at Granny's to see if he was there?"**

She felt a victorious smile spreading on her lips almost immediately. Granny's, of course Killian could be there! He had to, actually. Maybe his battery was dead, and he'd looked for somewhere to charge his phone. Or maybe he'd just forgotten the device somewhere, and he was safe there, while she was worrying like a perfect idiot. Everything was fine. It had to be.

" **Henry, you're a genius! I hadn't thought about that! I'm calling now."**

Her worry was gone, he was there. She really hoped he was, anyways, because it would mean there was a perfectly good explanation to his silence and noting bad had happened to him. Her fingers were shaking as she tried to call the diner. She was perhaps mad at him, but she loved him and she couldn't have stood the idea of something happening to him. She glued the phone to her ear, and waited for what seemed like hours for someone to finally pick it up. God, what was taking them so long? She was dying there!

"You're at Granny's, what can I do for you?" Her friend's voice started, and she had to hold back a little sigh of relief, because someone was finally taking the call.

"Hey, Granny. It's Emma." She said in a tone she wanted relaxed, but her voice was a bit strangled by her worry. "I was wondering if Killian was at the diner?"

"Wait, let me check." She only continued after a short pause that almost drove Emma insane. "Nope, he isn't there." Her breath got caught into her throat, and she suddenly was feeling dizzy. "Why?" her friend asked, unaware of what was happening inside of Emma's head. "Has something happened?"

"What? No!" She answered with a chuckle that was sounding incredibly false, even to herself. "Everything's fine. Awesome, actually. It was just a question. I should go."

"Are you sure you're okay, Emma?" Granny insisted. "You're sounding strange."

"Yeah, don't worry. Thanks."

She hung up before her friend decided to ask her more questions. She bit her lips again, the blood invading her mouth once more, and started to nervously scratch the leather of the couch she was sitting on with her fingernails.

She'd really thought that everything would turn up okay, that he was at Granny's and that he was all right, but after this false hope, she was more afraid than ever. Something was incredibly wrong, here. And if something had happened to Killian out there, it was her fault. She should have told him to come and join her, instead of acting like a child and ask him to keep his distance for a while. She'd been so stupid, and now he could be hurt. She could picture him, unconscious, laying on the cold ground. Worse, maybe he could be...

" **So?"**

Henry's text thankfully interrupted her horrible thoughts. _Get a grip over yourself, Emma. He's fine._ He wasn't hurt, he was okay. She had to convince herself of this, or she would turn insane before the end of the night. She answered to her son, trying to reassure him, and herself at the same time :

" **He's not there. He must be on the Jolly. Maybe he fell asleep. There has to be an explanation for all of this."**

" **You want me to come and watch the kids so you can go see if he's on the ship?"** He kindly offered, but it was the last thing she wanted. The idea of her son, alone in the night because of her, was almost unbearable.

" **No, kid. Please stay where you are. You don't have to come here. I'm sure everything's fine and I'm worried for nothing."**

" **Wait a minute, I'm calling you."** he simply answered, knowing that she wasn't half as relaxed as she was trying to seem.

She sighed, knowing that trying to make him change his mind was useless. He'd understood that the situation was bad, and he didn't want to leave her alone to face the fear of something happening to the man she loved.

She closed her eyes for a brief seconds, trying to clear up her mind. She suddenly wanted to start crying again. She was feeling so guilty for worrying her son. But, at the same time, she was a bit relieved not to be alone with her dark thoughts anymore. Was she a terrible person for thinking that way?

Her phone wasn't long to start ringing into the quiet of the house. The silence was sounding oppressive, now, it was so unusual, and it was giving her the feeling that something bad was actually happening. She wasn't long to take the call, not wanting to worry her son or wake her kids up.

"Hey, kid." She started with another sigh.

"You okay? Do you need anything?" He started very seriously, making a very slight smile appear on her lips because of his thoughtfulness.

"I'm fine, Henry. I promise." That was a lie. "He's probably on the Jolly Roger. I'm worrying for nothing."

"Did you guys have a fight, again?" He asked in a low voice, as if he was telling her a secret.

"Yeah." She admitted, rubbing her eyes to avoid the tears from rolling down her cheeks. "A pretty big one. And if he's out there... It's my fault, I asked him not to come home. If something happened to him, I'm the only one to blame."

"Oh, Mom." He said, sounding deeply worried by her words. "Seriously, do you want me to go on the Jolly Roger, and see if he's there?"

"No, Henry!" She said in a bossy way, wanting to avoid him going out at this hours. "It's midnight, you shouldn't go out alone now, especially not to clean up my own mess. It's my problem, not yours. Go get some sleep, I'm okay, I swear. I'll find something to make sure he's fine."

"There is no way I'm leaving you alone now!" He protested. "I couldn't sleep anyways. If you don't want me to come over, fine, but let me at least talk to you for a little while. I won't give up on you, Mom."

She rolled her eyes, but smiled anyways, touched by his last words. He wouldn't give up on her. Well, there was at least one person who would stay by her side, and it was making her feel so much better. Her son was really stubborn, that was for sure, and trying to convince him to leave her wasn't going to do them any good. If he'd decided he wanted to talk to her, he was going to do it. She then answered, graceful :

"Thanks, kid. You won. But let's talk about something else, then, okay? I don't want to bother you with my troubles. How are things with Violet?"

And that's how they started to talk about her son's girlfriend, Henry enthusiastically telling his mom about her. They spent a while just sharing some news, and she happily noticed that talking with Henry was actually making her feel better. He even managed to make her chuckle once or twice with his jokes, and she wasn't feeling like crying anymore.

It's only half an hour later that she finally heard keys in the front door, then someone closing it quietly, as if they were trying to come in without making any noise. She immediately knew it was Killian. Her heart was suddenly pounding so fast. He wasn't hurt, he was okay. She jumped off the couch and said to her son, almost panting because of her relief.

"Kid! He's okay, he's home!"

"Thank god!" Henry let go of a sigh of relief, and she guessed he'd been really worried as well. "We'll talk tomorrow?"

"Sure, Henry, I promise. Thank you so much for staying with me." She said with a little smile, because everything was falling back into place, and that was feeling so good. "Go to bed, now. I love you, kid."

"I love you too." he said, before obeying and hanging up.

She could hear Killian's steps approaching her, but she was back to him. She sighed again, trying to stop her hands from shaking as she was trying to put her phone back on the table. She was so damn relieved. She finally turned to look at Killian, narrowing her eyes to see if he was okay, if he wasn't hurt. He was standing behind the couch, as if he was waiting for her to say something. He seemed all right. This observation, for some reason, made her very angry. He was all right, and he had to have a good explanation for not answering her sooner, or she was going to scream. She'd been so scared.

"Where the hell were you?" She asked, trying to stay calm. "I was so worried. I left you a message, but you weren't answering. I thought something had happened to you."

"Sorry, love. The battery was dead." He said, getting his phone out of his pocket as if to prove her something, but he clumsily dropped it and it crashed on the floor.

She frowned at that, watching him as he was getting down on somewhat uncertain legs to pick the cellphone up. She hadn't took the time to really look at him as she'd at first wanted to make sure he was okay, and she was only noticing how strangely he was behaving now.

His speech was a bit slurred, as if he was searching for his words. His legs were shaking, and his eyes were closing a bit, failing to focus on her. She approached him, hands on her hips, suspecting that something was wrong with him. When he turned his head to try and look at her, she met his blurred gaze, and she finally understood what was going on. He was smelling like alcohol. He was drunk.

"You've drunk?" She asked, feeling the rage burning inside her guts.

"No." he tried to protest, but he was a terrible liar when he'd drunk, she noticed.

She was going to start yelling. The rage was possessing her entirely now, and she didn't know what to do to calm herself down. She knew deep down that she didn't really have the right to scream at him for being drunk. She'd done the exact same mistake a few days ago, after all. But his actions seemed worst than hers, if she was being honest. Because they were supposed to talk about what was happening. He was supposed to come right back home to her and apologize for his behavior. But he'd chosen rum instead. In a day, he'd betrayed her, he'd hurt her so badly with his words, then he was coming back home, drunk, after hours of silence. She just couldn't believe it.

"Wait, while I was worrying like an idiot here, you were searching for god knows what at the bottom of a bottle of rum? And you didn't think for one fucking second that I was waiting for you, thinking that something had happened? Are you shitting me, Killian?"

She'd yelled on the last sentence, and forced herself to calm down. She was going to wake the kids up, and there was no way they would see their dad in that state. Killian looked at her, completely lost, his eyes wide. He didn't seem to know what to say to redeem himself. She rolled her eyes. She knew trying to talk to him now wasn't going to be of any use, she didn't even know if he would remember this conversation the next day. So she approached him, grabbed his elbow and said in a voice as cold as ice :

"Go to the room. You've gotta rest. I'm going to make you some tea so you won't be too hungover tomorrow."

"But Emma..." he started in a slurred speech.

She didn't let him finish."Try to discuss one more time, see how it works for you." She threatened, gesturing to the stairs as if he were a kid she was sending to his room. "Go."

He stared at her, completely confused by the bossy tone she'd used to talk to him. She was usually so soft and gentle with him, and the way she'd talked meant that she was very, very mad. He then walked to the stairs with uncertain steps and she feared for a second he was actually going to fall. But he arrived safe upstairs, and she walked to the kitchen, trying to hold her anger back and not explode in the middle of the room.

She just couldn't believe what he'd done to her. While she was home, worrying like crazy, he was out there, in a bar, drinking his sanity away. He hadn't thought for one second he could actually borrow someone's phone to tell her where he was. He hadn't thought about her, and it was making her so mad. When she'd drunk, she had at least been clever enough to stay near him so he wouldn't get worried. But he hadn't. She'd been so scared she'd thought she was going to turn insane. She was feeling betrayed once again, and she didn't know how she would be able to calm herself down.

She took a few minutes alone in the kitchen to breathe and calm down. _Deep breath, Swan, deep breath._ She finally walked up the stairs to join him in their room, as she'd managed to ease herself a little bit. He'd put on his pajamas, and was sitting on the bed, probably waiting for her. He seemed to have noticed how angry she was, because when she sat down next to him to hand him the cup of tea, he started to talk :

"I'm sorry, Swan. I don't know what's gotten into me."

"Right. Drink your tea." she replied, avoiding his gaze because she just couldn't look at him right now, or she would say something she would regret later, she knew it.

"I've worsened things even more, haven't I?" he guessed, guilt in his voice.

"You can say that. We'll talk about it tomorrow." She said, getting off the bed with a sight. "Sleep. And think about what you've done, it can only do you good."

"Wait, where are you going?" he tried to call her back as she was walking to get out of the room.

"In the living room. I'll sleep on the couch tonight."

"Swan, wait!" he said, as if he was trying to tell her he would be the one sleeping on the sofa, but she didn't give him the time to continue. He was drunk, after all, he needed to rest in a real bed.

"No, _Hook"_ she almost spitted the nickname, and he startled. "I really don't want to be close to you right now."

She did the best she could to ignore the hurt she could see in his eyes, and turned her back to him, trying to escape this horrible tension between them. She almost ran down the stairs, and collapsed on the couch.

She was so mad at him. Her heart was pounding so fast that she needed a few hours to actually fall asleep. Things had never been that bad between them. She was scared of what could happen to them, after this. Because despite everything he'd done to her in a day, she knew he wasn't usually like this, and she loved him. But she didn't know if they could come back from this. She didn't know if she could trust him ever again.

And she didn't want to lose him.

* * *

Her night had been hell on earth, literally. She"d woken up every few minutes, terrified by horrible nightmares in which she was losing Killian and couldn't do anything about it. It's completely exhausted that she emerged from her restless sleep, without however opening her eyes right away.

She didn't know how to react, or what to do anymore. Things couldn't go on like this between her and Killian, they were obviously both suffering, and things needed to change. But talking about the situation hadn't worked. They were mad at each other again. More than ever, actually. She knew they needed to clear things up once and for all, but she just didn't want to face him, not now. She was still so angry at him for what he'd done to her the day before. She had felt so betrayed, so hurt. Her heart was still aching about the last events. So, when she heard his steps walking down the stairs, she curled up underneath her blanket and did her best to stay still, not wanting to see him at the moment.

She heard him approaching her, and closed her eyes even tighter, pretending to be asleep. Her breath got stuck in her throat when she felt him leaning above her. He gently placed the blanket back around her shoulder, as if he was scared she would get cold. She could feel his sadness reaching her bones while she couldn't even see him, and it was horrifying.

He stayed there for a minute or so, as if he was waiting for her to wake up. She didn't move. So he ended up giving up, and he walked away. A while later, he went to wake the kids up, bringing them downstairs. She could hear them talking in the kitchen. She heard Liam asking his father if she was sick, because she was still sleeping, and she suddenly felt guilty for running away from this entire situation. But she didn't know what else to do, she didn't know what to say to Killian, and it was the only solution she'd found to stay sane.

She listened to Killian offering the kids to go get breakfast at Granny's, and they both screamed in enthusiasm. After a few minutes, probably spent at trying to dress their children, Killian approached her again. She still didn't move, her heart racing in her chest at his presence in the room. He placed something on the coffee table, then leaned forward to kiss her temple. She did her best not to shiver at his touch. Despite her anger, this tender gesture made her feel a little bit better. He gently ran his hand through her hair, then whispered to her ear, as if he knew she was awake but just didn't want to speak to him.

"I'm so sorry. I love you."

Then, he got back up to get out the house with the kids. She stayed still for a few more minutes in the quiet of the room, without opening her eyes, as if she was scared he would come back and see her awake. She was feeling so lost. When she finally sat down, determined to stop pretending because she was alone now, she felt a lonely tear rolling down her cheek, and she wiped it off with impatience.

He was hating himself for his actions, it was obvious, she couldn't miss it, but it wasn't enough to make her anger go away. All her past wounds were coming back to life, making her dizzy. She was feeling betrayed, let down, by the person she trusted the most in this entire world. This person who'd promised to never give up on her. But she was loving him so much at the same time, and she just wanted things to be just the way they were before, when they were still behaving like two teenagers madly in love with each other.

She looked down at the table to find a piece of paper laying on it. She sighed, trying to hold back the tears she was feeling in her eyes. Taking the note in her hand brought her back to the same gesture she'd done not so long before. She was finding herself at the same place, but it was even worse now. She bit her lips to hold her sobs back and read Killian's handwriting with a lump stuck in her throat.

 _I don't even know how to begin with. I don't even know what to say except telling you that I'm sorry. I know it's not enough. I'm such a bloody idiot. I share my life with you, you, this amazing, perfect woman, and I still manage to ruin everything. I hate myself for making you suffer like this. I just want you to be happy. I want everything to be okay between us again, because I love you so much, but I'm the only one to blame for this situation. I'm so sorry for everything that happened yesterday. I acted like an idiot, and I hurt you, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself. From the bottom of my heart, Emma, I love you so much. I loved you since the moment I met you on the beanstalk, even if I didn't know it back then. And I'll love you for all eternity. I hope you will be able to forgive me one day, even if I don't deserve it. I don't want you to suffer, my love. I just want to see you smile again. It's the most beautiful thing in this world, and I'm sorry for taking that away from you. Forgive me. I love you._

One of her tears finally escaped her eyes and crashed on the paper, erasing the last words. She wiped off her cheeks again, and threw the paper next to her on the couch in a frustrated gesture. It was so much like him. Typical Killian. Behind his big romantic speeches, she could feel all his pain and guilt, she could feel it in her bones, and she knew he was being sincere.

But still, she just couldn't stop being mad at him. He'd hurt her so much. And if she wanted to forgive him, because she didn't want to lose him, she was feeling so betrayed she was terrified at the idea she had to trust him again. She wanted to protect her heart, it'd been broken too many times.

She got up and immediately walked to the kitchen She had a bit of time before having to face Killian, and she was going to enjoy this opportunity to think about what to do, how to act. She didn't want to talk to him, because she knew herself, she knew she would get mad again and it would only worsen things between them. But she didn't want to run anymore, and they couldn't leave things the way they were.

Sighing, she made herself a cup of coffee, trying to comfort herself a bit. It's only when the hot drink touched her lips, a few minutes later, that she finally understood what she had to do.

Walk away. It was the only possible solution to stop someone from getting even more hurt. Just go away, not for long, but she needed to calm down. She had to be ready to talk to her husband calmly, to have an adult conversation. And she was feeling this urgent need to get out of there. To get away from this town where something would always happen to break her happiness.

She had to walk away from her family to find herself. She didn't like being alone, usually, she'd already been by herself way too often in her life, and it was bringing bad memories back. But this time, she needed it. Deeply. Because she was feeling that, with everything that was happening in her life lately, Leia's distance, Jasmine, her endless fights with Killian, she could crumble at any moment, and never get back up again.

She nervously glanced up at the kitchen clock, thinking as quickly as possible about what to do. The more she was thinking about it, the more appealing the idea was looking. She wasn't letting anyone down. She was just taking a vacation from her own life. She needed it, she didn't want to feel this constant distress, that was crushing her chest and making her sick. She didn't know where she would go, but she knew she had to. That's why she almost violently placed the cup of coffee back on the kitchen counter, and almost ran up the stairs to go join her room.

She couldn't wait, she couldn't risk to change her mind because she knew it was the best solution they could find right now. She hastily got a bag out of her wardrobe, and started to pile up some of her clothes inside, barely looking at what she was taking with her. She didn't know for how long she would be gone, and it was therefore hard to actually plan her trip, but she was trying not to think too much about it.

She only stopped for a minute in the middle of her task, realizing she would have to wait for Killian's return to actually leave. She refused to run away like that, she needed to talk to him before, to explain her reasons and to promise him she would be back. But she also knew he was going to get back with the kids. How was she going to tell them she was going away for a bit? They were still so young, she was scared they wouldn't understand. And she wanted to talk about her decision with Killian face to face, just the two of them.

It's at that exact moment, while she was frantically searching for an idea, that her cellphone started to ring loudly. She looked down to see Henry's picture appearing on her screen, and picked up the call immediately, sitting down on her bed to talk to her son.

"Hey, kid" She started in a voice she tried to keep steady, because she didn't want to worry her son.

"Hi, Mom." He said, sounding a bit tensed. "How are you feeling? Are things better with Killian, now?"

"Not really." She admitted with a sigh, no wanting to tell him everything that had actually happened. "We haven't talked yet."

"Can I help you with anything?" He kindly offered, and she suddenly straightened, an idea crossing her mind at her son's words.

He was offering his help. She could absolutely ask him to come and watch his siblings while Killian and her were talking, so they wouldn't get interrupted. It was such a good solution, now that she was thinking about it. The kids couldn't be around while she would tell Killian about her decision, they couldn't see their dad's reaction. Even if she was trying not to think about it, chances were that he was going to react pretty badly. But she also knew it was the only way to actually make things better between them, taking a step back from the situation to think more calmly. She was honestly thinking that, for a while, they needed to live separately, or they wouldn't stop fighting and things would only get worse. That's why she answered after taking a deep breath :

"Well, now that you're offering, I do have something to ask you."

"Anything, mom." he answered right away, what made her smile slightly, because he was too adorable for his own good. "Whatever you need. I'm here for you."

"I just wanted to know if you could come home to watch the kids while I'm talking with Killian? That would make things so much easier for me. I really don't want Liam and Leia to be around while we're talking."

"Of course I can come! I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Thank you so much, Henry." She said, her heart pounding a bit faster because she was feeling so thankful for her son. "You really are my savior."

"No problem, Mom. I'll be right there."

She smiled at the phone as if he could see her, and continued to throw her belongings into the bag, before stopping a second time. Her gaze met one of Killian's old t-shirt, the one that she was sometimes wearing to sleep because it was soft and was reminding her of him.

She held it for a while, then slowly brought it to her face to breathe his fragrance still etched in the clothes. It was so comforting, as if nothing had changed and all of their fights had been just a horrible nightmare. She hesitated for a second, then decided to put it in the bag as well, before continuing to pack her stuffs wit somewhat shaky gestures, as if the devil himself was trying to chase her.

* * *

"Mom?"

"Upstairs!" She said back to her son, throwing the last of her things inside her bag.

She hastily closed it and hurried to get out of her room, so her son wouldn't guess what she was about to do. She didn't want him to find everything out while she hadn't talked to Killian about it yet. She was also a bit scared about Henry's reaction. She was afraid he would force her to face the situation, and call her an idiot for running away like this. She was afraid that she would end up changing her mind, because even if she was running away again, it was the best solution she had found for now.

She was knowing herself, and for her own sanity, she needed to get away from this entire situation. She then got out of her room right as her son was arriving upstairs, and she closed the door behind her back, leaning back against it and trying to look nonchalant. He didn't seem convinced by her try, though, because he gave her a suspicious look before asking with a little frown :

"You okay?"

"Sure." She said, forcing herself to smile at him so he wouldn't worry. "Thanks again for coming, kid. I really need to be alone with Killian for a bit.

"What are you doing?" he insisted, guessing that she wasn't telling him the entire truth, and she cursed internally.

"Nothing." She lied with a little shrug. "Why are you asking?"

"Mom, I'm not an idiot." he said, rolling his eyes. "What are you hiding inside this room?"

"Nothing!" She repeated in a high-pitched voice, starting to realized she was trapped and he wouldn't let go.

He gave her an annoyed look and approached the door to try and open it, forcing her to move to the side. She winced, knowing all too well he was going to notice her bag on the bed. She was so scared of his reaction when he would understand her plans. She tensed up when she saw his eyes meeting her suitcase, and he turned to her after a few seconds of silence, his eyes wide, his face pale as if he couldn't believe his eyes.

"What are you...?"

knowing she couldn't pretend anymore, she cut him off to reassure him right away so he wouldn't believe something that wasn't right. "I just need to go, Henry. Not forever!" She added, seeing how hurt he was looking. "I promise. I just need to go away for a few days. I need to get away from this town, and mostly from Killian. It's the best thing to do right now."

She'd expected him to start protesting. She'd thought he would tell her it wasn't a good idea and push her to face the situation. But, instead, he sighed and gave her a resined look, as if he knew he couldn't make her change her mind. She stared at him, a bit confused by this surprising reaction, then he said with a little shrug, his voice low and deep :

"You know what's best for you. You know yourself better than anyone. I won't try to stop you from doing this."

"Seriously?" She asked, raising a surprised eyebrow at him.

She really hadn't expected him to accept all of this that easily. She'd believed until now that he would actually get mad at her, but he looked at her gently and answered, approaching her to place a hand on her shoulder in comfort.

"I trust you, Mom. And I have eyes, I can see how unhappy you are right now. If you think that going away for a bit will make you feel better, don't hesitate. Go."

She smiled, feeling tears tickling her eyes at how thoughtful, mature her son had become in such little time. He was all grown-up, now. He was a kind, caring, trustworthy man. She didn't have to think about it before pulling him to her for a hug, and she said to his ear.

"Thanks, kid. I am so proud of you."

He pulled away from her after a few seconds, and was about to answer something, but they both startled at the sound of the front door opening downstairs. Liam and Leia's voices rang into the hallway, and Emma tensed up, knowing that the conversation she was about to have with her husband was going to be anything but easy. Henry's smile transformed into a grimace, and he offered her a sorry look as he was saying :

"But I don't think Killian is going to take the news that well, though."

"I know." She whispered, trying to calm her heart that was racing in her chest in dread. "But I need to talk to him, I need to tell him why I took this decision. I don't wanna hurt him."

"See, that's how I know you've changed so much since I first bought you to Storybrooke, Mom." He said, before adding, seeing her questioning look. "You would have gone away without telling anything to anyone, back then."

"It's just the right thing to do." She said with a little shrug, a bit touched by her son's words. Then she heard Killian's voice ringing from downstairs, a bit broken, as if he'd cried or was deeply worried

"Emma?"

"I'm coming!" She simply answered, taking a deep breath and bracing herself for what was coming.

"I'll go get the kids." Henry said with an encouraging smile. "It's gonna be okay, Mom. It was a tough decision to make, but if you feel like you need this, you need to listen to yourself and do it."

She nodded and forced herself to smile at him to show him just how much his words meant to her. She looked at him going down the stairs, and she heard him talking with Killian a little bit, explaining what he was doing there. When she heard her three children walking out of the house, she closed her eyes for a second and took some deep breaths to relax. It was going to be okay, she had to do it. She took her bag and decided to quickly go join her husband before changing her mind. She didn't have a choice, anyways.

Her suitcase in her hands, she slowly walked to the living room to find Killian sitting there, staring at his hand. She swore her heart was about to explode at his sight. He literally jumped on his feet to turn and look at her when he heard her footsteps on the floor. He had bags under his eyes from the exhaustion, and she guessed he hadn't slept much that night either. He was looking so worried, and it was obvious he was hating himself for what was happening. Without giving her the time to say something, he started immediately :

"Swan, I..."

"Killian, we need to talk." she cut him off in a soft voice, not really knowing how she would be able to tell him everything without making him panic at the same time.

"What is that?"

The tone of his voice had changed, and she got confused for a second before understanding. He wasn't looking at her anymore, but his eyes had met the bag she was holding against her. He was looking completely terrified. She bit her bottom lip, not really knowing how to begin with, and placed the bag on the floor to free her hands. She took a deep breath to start talking and explain the situation calmly, but he interrupted her :

"Emma, what are you doing?"

She was completely speechless, she didn't know what was happening to her. His own panic was invading her, and she seemed unable to talk. She shook her head to make him understand he was wrong, it was not what it was looking like and she wasn't leaving him, not really. But he didn't seem to understand what she was trying to tell him, and she saw tears appearing in his eyes as he was approaching her.

"Emma, no!" he said, grabbing her arm and shaking her just a little, as if he wanted to make her come back to reality. "You can't go! We can make everything better, I promise! I know I've acted like a bloody idiot lately, and I'm sorry, but please... Don't go, I... I can't lose you."

Without giving her the time to say something so he would understand he was completely wrong and was panicking for nothing, he threw himself into her arms to bury his face into the crook of her neck. She stayed still at first, she didn't know what to do to comfort him and make him understand she wasn't trying to break what they'd built together. She was on the contrary trying to fix things, she was only going for a short while.

After a few seconds, she ended up hugging him back, putting her anger aside to reassure him, as he was letting go of a jerky breath against her. She let him embrace her for a few more instants, then firmly pulled away from him. Looking at him, she could see his red eyes and the tears he was obviously trying to hold back threatening to roll down his cheek.

"Hey... hey, calm down." She finally managed to say, talking very gently so he wouldn't start panicking again. "It's not what you think it is. I'm just going away for a few days, not forever."

"You mean... You're not leaving me?" He said with sobs in his voice.

She bit her lips to try and stop herself from crying. His pain was hurting her so much, and she just wanted to take him against her again and promise him she wouldn't go and everything would be okay. But that wouldn't resolve anything. She had to do this. She had to be strong and explain to him, calmly, what she wanted to do.

"Of course I'm not leaving you." She said softly, shaking her head. "I'll come back. I just need to walk away from all of this for a little while.

"But we can talk about it!" He countered, as if he wanted to keep her by his side. "We can fix this, I promise, I'll do anything. You don't need to go..."

"I do need to, Killian, it's the best way to handle things right now." She answered in an assured voice that surprised her herself. "The only way to fix this is to live separately for a bit. We fight all the time." She added in a whisper. "We have to think about all of this. After that, I promise it'll be all right."

"So I'm the one who's going!" He said, nodding to stress his words. "I understand that you don't want to see me right now. I'll go sleep on the Jolly Roger for a while."

"No, Killian." She cut him off firmly so he wouldn't try to protest again. "You're not the only one I need to get away from. I need to get out of this town for a while. To forget about all the troubles we have right now. I'm the one who has to go."

"But... Where are you going to go?" he asked in a shaky voice.

Looking down, she saw that, mirroring his tone, his hand was shaking as well. She sighed, about to start crying. He was standing a few inches away from her, and she had to force herself not to break the distance between them to hug him tight and never let him go. He seemed so hurt by her decision and all the things he'd done lately. She looked away from his hand so she wouldn't wrap her fingers around it to comfort him, and answered with a shrug.

"I don't know yet. I don't know for how long I'll be gone either. But I'll come back. I'm not leaving you." She assured, seeing he was still a bit scared. "I promise."

"You don't want us to... Talk about it? I don't want you to go, Swan." He almost begged. "Not because of me and what I've done to you."

"I won't change my mind." She said. "You can't hold me back. And believe me, I know it's hard, it is for me too, but it's for our own good,. I'm doing this to save our relationship, okay? Because I don't wanna lose you."

He nodded, and she saw a lonely tear rolling down his cheek. He didn't even seem to notice it, too busy staring at her as if she were the sun, the light of his life and he wouldn't be able to survive without her. She hold back the impulse to approach him and run her hand on his face to comfort him. Being tender with him would only make things harder at the end of the day. It would only give him false hope that she wasn't actually going and that she'd forgiven him. It wasn't the case. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep her own sadness at bay, and he finally pulled himself together, looking up at her to ask:

"What are you going to tell the kids?"

"I don't know." She admitted in a whisper. "I'll improvise. I'll try to make them understand I'm not going forever. I hope they won't be too sad."

He nodded again, and they stared at each other for a few seconds, in silence, facing each other as if they were going to either hug or start a fight. His pain was hurting her so damn much. But she also knew that at this point, it was completely useless to try and talk calmly about this entire Jasmine situation again. They'd tried, and it hadn't worked, obviously. So, going away was the only thing left to do. And she wasn't going to back out.

* * *

"Do you guys have any questions?" Emma asked softly, looking at Liam and Leia as they were standing in front of her in the hallway.

She was kneeling on the floor so she could look at them in the eyes. Henry was standing a bit back, leaning against the wall, his arms folded and his brows together in concern. Killian was behind the kids, standing still, and was looking utterly desperate by this entire situation, because he knew he couldn't hold the woman he loved back.

Emma had just explained to her kids that she was going away for a little while. She hadn't told them why, obviously, it was adult stuffs and they didn't need to know, so she'd lied to them and told them she was going on vacation by herself. But neither of them, despite their young age, seemed to be completely convinced by her explanation. Leia was staring at her, her blue eyes bright, and Liam was frowning as if he was intensely thinking about what his mom had said.

"When are you coming back?" The little boy ended up asking with a little pout.

"I don't know yet, buddy." She said, rubbing his back in reassurance. "But I won't be gone for long. I promise."

"Can't we all come with you?" he asked, turning to look at his dad as if to ask him for permission. "I wanna go to!"

"I know you want to, sweetheart, but I need someone to watch the town while I'm gone." She lied.

"Why are you going, Mommy?"

She looked at her daughter, who'd asked her question in a low, almost fragile voice. Her head tilted on its side, she was looking absolutely confused by these information. Emma had never left the house for more than a few hours without the kids since Leia was born, and they seemed to find this sudden decision very strange. She smiled at her daughter and placed a finger under her chin to lift it up so the little girl was looking at her.

"I just need to, princess. I'll come back soon. You won't even notice that I'm gone, I promise."

She was a bit surprised to see that Leia was looking quite bothered by her departure. After all, she was never showing that she loved her mom, and if Emma had thought that Liam would be a bit sad, she"d never imagined that Leia would look at her with her blue eyes full of misunderstanding.

She forced herself to smile at her again, and kissed her cheek as a goodbye. The toddler didn't move, completely silent, looking a bit lost. Emma then turned to Liam, who was looking at her with sad eyes, and threw himself into her arms, wrapping his arms around her neck. He was looking on the edge of crying, and she rubbed his back, trying to hold her own tears back.

She couldn't say it was easy for her to go away like this. She was feeling like she was letting Killian and her kids down, but it was the only solution, she knew it, and she didn't have a choice. She then forced herself to pull away from Liam after a few more seconds, and she said to him as tears were shinning deep in his eyes.

"Take care of your daddy for me, will you?"

He nodded seriously, as if he were accepting a mission, and she got up to approach Henry. She hugged him too, for a long time, stroking his back in a maternal and tender gesture. He seemed pained by the fact she was going, but she also knew that he understood why she was doing this, and that he was supporting her on this. He said kindly as she was still hugging him.

"Drive safe, okay?"

"Don't worry, kid." She said with a small smile. "I've got this."

She finally pulled away from him after another second, and offered him a sad smile to thank him for his support. She walked to where she'd placed her bag in the hallway. She wrapped it around her shoulder with a little sigh, not really knowing how to say goodbye to Killian. She could feel his stare burning her skin. She ended up looking up at him, and he approached her with two big steps, taking her hand in his and squeezing her fingers between his own. He was looking so hurt, now, and no words were necessary for her to understand his thoughts.

 _Please, don't go! I'm sorry I've ruin everything, I'm sorry I've hurt you, but don't leave me!"_

But she had to, damn it. She couldn't stay. She had to save what they had together. So she slowly pulled away from his embrace and turned to walk to the door, smiling one last time to her kids, who were looking completely lost. She walked without stopping once to her car, but as she was joining the road in front of her house, she heard Killian calling her back :

"Swan, wait!"

She turned, a bit intrigued, and look at him running to join her. Without giving her the time to do anything, he tightly wrapped his arms around her to hold her close to his chest. She didn't try to fight against it, this time, and she herself buried her face into the crook of his neck, as if to breathe him in one last time before actually going. She fought against herself to keep her sobs at bay when she heard his jerky breath ringing in her ear.

Then, she pulled away to see that he'd lost his fight against himself and was now crying silently. He looked at her for a few seconds, as if it was actually the last time he was seeing her. Then he said in a broken voice, sobs stuck inside his throat :

"Take care of yourself. Send me a text when you'll get there, okay?"

 _Don't go!_

She nodded, then finally turned her back to him, knowing that waiting a bit longer would only make things even harder. She threw the bag on the backseat of her bug and sat down behind the wheel, still trying to pull herself together.

She looked at Killian one last time as he was standing beside the car on the sidewalk. He was looking so guilty, miserable, and she could guess he was scared to have lost her forever. She needed to comfort him, to show him she would come back. She met his gaze and looked at him for a few seconds, before mouthing a silent "I love you". Without waiting to know if he'd understood her, or what was his reaction to these last words, she started the car and left her street without looking back once.

* * *

 **okay! So Emma's gone... She's gonna spend a little time by herself, but I promise, no more fights from now! The rest of this fiction is mostly talking about their reconciliation! I hope you liked this and see you next week! :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello everyone! thanks a lot to dancingmylifeaway, oncer4life11, Emilee Amethyst, EllaHillCrouch, Alexa, paupaupi and Guest for the reviews!**

 **Don't worry guys, Emma will come around eventually. In this chapter actually! All the fights are over now, and from the next chapter, the only thing in this story is pure fluff and love! :)**

* * *

Emma had driven for hours without stopping once, as if she were trying to escape the devil himself. She was completely exhausted, now. It's only several hours after leaving that she realized she'd actually taken the way to New York. She then decided to stop there, in this town she knew so well, in this place she'd been happy for a while with Henry, even though the memories she had back then were only a lie. It was also the place where Killian had come to get her, where he'd helped her remember who she really was.

She'd driven fast, so fast that when she arrived, it was only the start of the afternoon. She had an advantage stopping there, though. She didn't have to think about a place to stay, she had one ready for her. Neal's former apartment, the one in which Robin and who they'd thought were Marian had lived for a few weeks all those years ago. Emma knew that Belle was still paying the rent, as a tribute to her step-son, and the apartment was then available for her. At least, she wouldn't have to pay to stay in a crappy hotel. And even if this place was the shelter of so many bad memories, because it was reminding her of Neal and what he'd done to her back when they were just kids, it was the best solution she had right now.

The first thing she did when she arrived in the small apartment was tossing her bag on the couch and collapsing on the dusty bed. The maid Belle was employing to clean the place every now and then had obviously not come in a while.

She put her hands over her face and sighed deeply. She'd tried to avoid thinking about her feelings, but she couldn't escape them anymore, and the truth was that she was devastated. Now that she was far from home, going away seemed so stupid. She was missing Killian, she was missing her kids, her baby brother, her parents, her friends, all of these people were leaving a huge hole in her heart.

She'd gone to tell her parents she was going away for a while just before leaving town, but she hadn't told them why, despite their desperate questions. She knew they were worried about her, but she didn't wanna talk, not now. And she knew that going away would eventually make her feel better, even if it was painful right now. She'd done the right thing, or she was trying to convince herself she had.

She stayed there for a long while, just laying on the bed in the silence of the room, listening to the noise of alarms and shouts in the streets below. She was staring at the ceiling, trying to make this lump that'd appeared in her throat go away. Then she decided to send a text to Killian, as she'd promised him she would, to reassure him and tell him where she was. She took her phone in her hand and, after a second of hesitation over what to say, she simply wrote :

" **I'm in New York, everything's okay. I'm in Neal's old apartment. Tell the kids I love them."**

 _I miss you already, Killian. I love you._

These words were burning inside her chest, and yet, she couldn't find it in herself to tell the truth, and she couldn't understand why. She knew it would have made him feel so much better to know that she just wanted to fight to save what they had, that despite everything that'd happened between them, she was loving him so much, and was forgiving him.

He was the only person who was really getting her, and he'd been the perfect husband before this entire mess, he'd just made some mistakes. She'd made some bad ones too, and they would get back together eventually. But she just couldn't talk to him about her feelings, not now. She was scared to get hurt again, and she was hating herself for letting her fears take control over her once again.

She got up with a sigh and threw the cellphone on the bed, not even brothering to look where it'd landed. She walked to the shelf, where some CD's and Vinyls were piled up. She squatted to look at the titles written on the covers, and ended up choosing an album of Muse, that she put in the stereo.

 _Uprising_ started to play in the apartment, and she increased the volume to dive into the music and avoid thinking about what was happening to her and her family. Then she walked back to the bed and sat down, taking her phone to notice that Killian had already texted her back.

" **Okay, be careful. The kids tell you they miss you."**

 _I miss you too, my love. Please come back_

She could decrypt his real thoughts behind his cold words, and understood he'd probably done the same with her one little text. She sighed again, rubbed her face with her hands to try and clear her mind up. She didn't know how to react to that, she didn't know if she should answer him to tell him that she loved him, or if she should just let it go for now.

But her cellphone started to ring again, and she peered down at the screen to see that it was Henry trying to reach her this time. She frowned, wondering why he was texting her now and, a bit worried that something had already gotten wrong in town, she quickly opened his message.

" **Hey, mom. Everything's alright?"**

" **I'm in New York, don't worry. I'm fine."** She hesitated for a few long seconds before writing the next part of her text. She really didn't know if it was a good idea to act that way, but she had to know, she couldn't do without it. She decided to start with her first question, asking : **"How are the kids?"**

" **Not too bad given the circumstances. They seem a bit lost, but for now, they're okay."**

Emma felt like she was relaxing a bit at these information. She really hadn't wanted for her kids to suffer from all of this, and if they seemed all right, all was good. The lyrics of the song seemed to ring in her heart, giving her the strength to continue, the strength to fight against her own fears.

 _Another promise, another seed  
Another packaged lie to keep us trapped in greed  
And all the green belts wrapped around our minds  
And endless red tape to keep the truth confined  
(so come on)_

 _They will not force us_  
 _They will stop degrading us_  
 _They will not control us_  
 _We will be victorious_  
 _(so come on)_

She took another deep breath before starting to write again, knowing that she couldn't go back from this. But she had to do it. She loved Killian, so much. She just wanted them to be happy together.

" **And what about Killian?"**

" **He's not really okay, Mom. He's being strong for us, but he's feeling awful. He's hating himself, you know. I'm staying with him for now. I'm helping with the kids."**

Emma bit her bottom lip to try and keep her tears at bay, but then she realized that she was alone in the apartment, and that no one would see her if she was crumbling, no one would ever know. She could cry as much as she wanted to.

So she finally let go, she let everything get out as the tears were rolling down her cheeks. She was hating herself for making Killian suffer as well, but they both needed to be apart for a while, even if it was making her heart ache so much she was feeling like it was going to implode. She needed to be alone to think clearly about everything that'd happened recently. And the only way to do so was to walk away from those she loved. She was the only one able to find it in herself to talk to Killian and actually forgive him, for good this time. And when she would find this courage, she would go back home, and everything would be just the way it was before.

It's only five minutes later that she managed to see through her tears, and she answered her son, simply saying, her fingers shaking as she was typing :

" **Thanks, kid. I owe you one."**

And then, still crying her eyes off, she got leggings and Killian's t-shirt out of the bag, put them on, and laid down on the bed, leaving the music on. She curled up on herself, her legs bent over her chest, laying on her side, and relaxed as she could smell Killian's fragrance on the shirt she was wearing.

It was giving her the wonderful illusion that all of this had just been a nightmare, and that he was next to her on the bed, ready to kiss every inches of her body to slowly wake her up. Comforted by these images, she fell asleep in a few seconds.

* * *

She slept for hours in a row, that day, absolutely exhausted by everything that had occurred in her life recently. When she woke up, it was late and the sun had already set in the sky. A bit confused, she took a few seconds to remember why she was in Neal's former apartment. When she finally recalled everything, she didn't know what to do for a few moments of pure confusion, and she just stayed still, laying on her side, as if she were waiting for an idea to fall from the sky and enlighten her.

She had not been alone for so long that she'd forgotten how painful it could be, sometimes. She then searched her memories, trying to recall what she would do to stop thinking about her loneliness all those years back, when she had no one to talk to, no one who was caring about her. And then she finally remembered : She would go out for a run. When she wasn't working as a bail bond person back then, she would do sports. Because the marvelous exhaustion it provided would prevent her from thinking.

That's why, ignoring the late hours and the coldness of the streets now that the sun had disappeared, she put on yoga pants and a thick sweater, tied her hair up into a ponytail. Only taking a few dollars with her in case she would need it, she got out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her back.

She ran for more than an hour in the streets of the city, ignoring the pain burning in her limbs and her breath getting shorter and shorter, given the fact she hadn't gone for a run in a very long time. She ended up finally stopping, placing both her hands on her knees to try and find the air she was lacking, a drop of sweat rolling down her temple despite the freezing temperature of the night.

She was exhausted, now, and was feeling a bit dizzy. Good. That was what she had been looking for by pushing her boundaries that far. Now, her mind wasn't clear enough for her to really think about something important anymore. She walked back to the apartment, stopping at a grocery store to buy some food for the days to come. She could have gone to eat at a fast-food, avoiding to cook, but, oddly enough and despite Killian's absence, she could still hear his voice at the back of her head begging her to take care of herself. And she decided to listen to him.

She then got back to the apartment, cooking a simple meal, because she wasn't that hungry anyway. Then she spent half an hour under a freezing shower, once again avoiding to think. Yet, she knew she would have to sort everything out sooner or later. It was the reason why she'd come all the way to New York in the first place, she wanted to think, to try and make everything better between her and Killian and forget what had happened between them.

She also knew the days to come weren't gonna be easy either, because now, without her family by her side, she somehow didn't really know who she was anymore. But she needed this time alone, she really did. She was doing all of this to save what she had in Storybrooke, this little town that was now her home. And she was going to fight to protect everything that she'd managed to build over the years.

* * *

As the days passed, she started to find a little routine in this new life she was leading for a while. She would wake up around nine, and would go out for a long run, only going back to the apartment to take a quick shower. For lunch, she would go to this little diner in the corner of her street, which was selling typical American food, and she would eat something, more out of habit than because she was actually hungry.

In the afternoon, she would go to a gym where she'd taken a subscription, and she would exercise for hours in a row, not taking one break, trying to exhaust herself. Each time, she was trying not to think, and each time, she was cursing herself for it, because she knew it wasn't the good way to deal with things. She couldn't stay in New York forever, especially because she was missing her family, so much it was starting to hurt at night, when she couldn't fight against her thoughts anymore.

She would call Storybrooke every night, to talk to the kids a little bit. She would barely exchange three words with Killian, but she could always sense his quiet questions behind his silence. _Are you all right? When will I see you again? I miss you so much, please, come back to me._

But she couldn't find the strength to go back home, she wasn't ready yet. She was still mad at her husband, and she needed to calm down before going back to him and their family. So every morning, she would wake up, telling herself she would find a solution, and each night, she would fall asleep alone in her bed, more and more lost, more and more desperate.

She met two people, during those days, two people who changed everything. They helped her think and see the truth, finally, after days spent at avoiding her own feelings. Both meetings occurred the same day, exactly one week after she'd arrived in the city. They disrupted the bad habits she'd taken of wallowing in her loneliness and her unhappiness, instead of searching for the strength to go back home and talk about everything with the man she loved. Without these two people, she knew that everything would have been different.

* * *

The first one happened during the afternoon, as Emma was going back from the gym after hours of physical efforts. Before going back to her apartment for a shower, and probably a nap given how tired she was, she walked to a supermarket to get something to eat. She searched the shelves, trying to find something she would actually want to eat, but nothing really appealed to her. She'd lost her appetite since she'd arrived there. She was barely eating, but she also knew she had to change this, she couldn't starve to death.

She was in the biscuits and sweets section when she noticed a teenage girl out of the corner of her eyes, shuffling between the shelves in a falsely nonchalant manner. Emma stopped her movements and pretended to be looking at a box of biscuits to keep the young girl in sight. She had long brown hair, dark eyes, and was wearing big glasses, a beanie on her head, and a sweater that she seemed to be wearing for several days. She was looking quite suspicious actually. She continued to wander for a few more seconds, then stopped, and Emma frowned discreetly.

It wasn't only this girl's odd behavior that had made her stop, she realized. She was looking vaguely familiar to her, and yet, she was certain she had never seen her before. It was a strange feeling that was burning at her core, making her stomach twist, and she was so puzzled she was feeling the intense need to know more.

The teenager looked around her, not noticing Emma, then, thinking that she was safe, she grabbed a box of biscuits to clumsily hide it inside of her sweater, the item forming an odd bump on her stomach. Emma suddenly startled, and her heart seemed to skip a beat. This behavior, this gesture, this look in her eyes... She understood why this stranger was looking familiar, now. It was because she'd done the exact same thing more than once. This moment, she'd already lived it, but from the other side of the mirror.

This girl was Emma twenty years ago.

She didn't have the time to ask herself more questions or to find what to do about what she'd just witnessed. The CCTV cameras placed all around the shop had probably noticed her stealing, and Emma saw one of the security guard approaching the girl from behind. She didn't think any longer about it. She had to help this girl, even though she didn't know her. Doing the same thing Lily had done for her all those years ago, she rushed to the kid and said loudly :

"Oh, you're here! I've been looking for you everywhere! Thanks for keeping this for me, I was scared they would be no more. You know how much I like these stuffs."

Emma reached for the girl's hand, and took the box of biscuits from her before the teen could do anything to show her surprise. She was careful to keep the box noticeable for the guard so he wouldn't think the girl was trying to steal. The stranger was now staring at her with wide eyes, looking utterly confused. Emma threw her a glance, clearly meaning "Play along and shut up, I've got this", as the security guard was still walking to them. He stopped right in front of Emma :

"Is everything okay, ma'am?" He asked, looking at them suspiciously.

"Sure!" Emma said in a bit too cheerful tone. "I've just asked my sister to keep this for me. What?" She continued, taking a falsely innocent look. "You didn't think she was trying to steal, did you? Charlotte!" She said, turning to the still silent teenager with her hands on her hips. "I've told you that if you kept on dressing like this, people would thing you were a criminal, haven't I?"

The young girl was still looking a bit intrigued, but she seemed to guess that Emma was just trying to help her, and she gave her a sharp nod. The guard looked at them carefully, then ended up smiling, buying their little game. He walked away, whistling slightly. Emma let go of a long sigh of relief, and the teenager stayed still for a few seconds, before finally mumbling, looking down at the ground :

"I didn't need your help."

"Clearly." Emma scoffed, shaking her head in disbelief. "You weren't going to go very far like this, you know. Did you want to get arrested?"

"It wouldn't be the first time." She said with a shrug, her face completely closed.

"You don't care?" Emma was surprised, she hadn't thought of that. "What do your parents think about this?"

"I don't have any parents."

"Of course you don't." Emma said with another sigh.

It was obvious, now that the girl had talked. These old clothes, these bags under her eyes, her a bit too thin figure, and, most of all, this pain shinning deep inside her brown eyes, wondering why no one would ever want her, what she'd done wrong to be where she was right now. She was in the system. And she'd done the exact same thing Emma'd done all those years ago. She'd run away from a foster home. Because she'd had enough of being let down, as Emma before her.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice right away that the girl was trying to walk away from her. Rushing to join her, she grabbed her sleeve to tug her back closer.

"Not so fast, kiddo!"

"Leave me alone!" The teenage girl said, stiffening as if Emma were about to hurt her. "You a cop or what?"

"I'm not a cop, but I won't let you leave like this." Emma answered, determined to talk to this girl to give her some words of encouragement. She would have given anything for an adult to be nice with her at the time.

"Why's that? Who are you?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest as if to give herself some confidence, but Emma could see that she was actually scared, since she hadn't planned for something like this to happen.

"I'm just someone who wants to help you." She said with a smile to reassure the girl. "And I have a credit card, I can offer you these biscuits. If I were you, I wouldn't go now."

"Or what?" She snapped, obviously trying to provoke Emma so she would leave her alone.

"Or I call your foster home to tell them where you are." Emma threatened, knowing all too well it was going to work.

"How do you know I'm a runaway?" She asked, letting go of her mask for a few seconds to look at her with wide eyes.

"You told me you didn't have any parents. And I know that kind of things. I'm a bail bond person, kiddo, and I can find your foster home number in only a few minutes. I wouldn't take that risk."

The young girl gave Emma a murderous look, probably feeling like she was trapped and she couldn't do anything to escape this weird stranger wanting to help her. Emma chuckled at that, finding herself in this gaze, and took her shoulder to lead her to the checkout area.

"Come on, let me at least buy you a real meal. You must be starving, am I wrong?"

"You wanna buy me something?" She asked, looking completely confused, obviously not used to someone being nice to her. "Why would you do that?"

"Because I know what you're living right now. I was in the system too, you know. And I ran away as well." She added, seeing her questioning look.

She opened her eyes wide, and Emma didn't have to force her for her to leave the shop by her side.

* * *

"Who did you say you were, again? My sister?" The teenager asked, her false arrogance back.

They were both sitting at a table in a diner, not far from the supermarket where they'd met. A Coke was laying in front of the girl, while they were waiting for their order to arrive. She was staring at Emma with a suspicious look from behind her glass, what made her shake her head, because this girl was so much like her it was getting weird. She smiled with a little shrug to reassure her :

"Why is is that surprising?"

"You're old enough to be my mom." She replied, with the obvious desire to upset Emma.

"You're right." She however answered with a little giggle. "I am old enough. I even have a son who's older than you are. I just said the first thing that came to my mind."

"Oh." She simply answered, looking surprised that her rudeness hadn't worked.

The waitress came to bring their orders, a simple coffee for Emma, and a huge cheeseburger for the teenager. She immediately grabbed her meal to take a bite out of it, as if she hadn't eaten for several days. Emma stared at her devouring her meal in silence, her hands wrapped around the hot cup in front of her. She was smiling at how happy the girl seemed at the sight of this simple meal. She started to talk again after a couple of minutes :

"I'm Emma, by the way. Emma Swan."

"Swan?" She noticed, arching her eyebrows in surprise. "That's an odd name."

"I needed to choose one. I didn't have any since they found me. I chose this because of the ugly duckling story, you know, the little ducking becoming a Swan?"

"What do you mean by ' _they found me'_?" She asked, looking a bit confused.

"I've been found on the side of the road when I was barely one day old." Emma simply replied, nodding.

"Wow, that's tough" She said, losing her armor for a second to display a more gentle expression, that Emma knew was her true nature. "My parents died when I was only three. Car accident. I can barely remember them. I've never found another family, and I thought it sucked, but your story is way worse."

"Well, that sucks too, you know." Emma said with a small smile. "I've been there. I know what it's like to feel like you're not wanted. I know it's tough. Would you tell me your name, so I could stop calling you _kiddo_?" Emma asked waiting to see of the girl was reassured enough to answer this request.

She seemed to hesitate for a little while, as if she were scare it would get her in troubles. But then she let go of her burger to reach for Emma's hand and shake it, saying in a serious tone.

"My name is Zoey."

"It's really nice to meet you, Zoey." Emma said as her smile was widening at how adorable the teenager seemed to be. "Are you on the run for a long time?"

"Two days." She shrugged, letting go of Emma's hand to go back to her meal. "It's not the first time. I just had enough of seeing all those kids getting adopted, because no one will ever want me now, I'm too old, I've missed my chance." Emma felt her heart skipping a beat at how similar the girl's words were to what hers had once been. "Is that why you've run too?"

"The first time, yeah." She said with honesty. "After that... It was for other things."

"You didn't have an easy life either, huh?" She asked with a little pout that made her look younger that she really was, showing that, even if she was trying to act like an adult, deep down, she was still a kid.

"You can say that." Emma answered. "But it got better. And I'm pretty sure it's gonna get better for you as well."

"Is that true?" She asked, arching an eyebrow and a note of hope in her voice. "Did you manage to succeed in life?"

"More than that." She answered with a big smile. "I'm actually happy, now. I found a family. I met my son ten years after giving him up for adoption, since I was only seventeen when I gave birth. And now I'm married, I have two other kids, and I never imagined I would have this life when I was your age."

She of course didn't say a word about magic and villains and her parents being fairy tales characters. She wanted this girl to trust her, and she would have thought she was crazy if she had said those things. She just wanted to offer her a message of hope. To make her understand that everything could get better, even if she was in a dark place right now. It would have made her feel so much better if someone had told her those things back when she was at Zoey's place.

"Yeah, maybe you're lying to me anyway." The teenager then said, taking her tough and jaded look back for a while. "I have no proof of what you're saying."

"You don't believe me?" Emma laughed. "You want a proof?"

Zoey nodded, looking suddenly very curious about what was going to happen, and Emma looked for her wallet to get out the family portrait she'd put inside a few months earlier. She was taking it everywhere, as if to keep her family with her even when she was away.

On the picture, Killian was holding a younger Leia in his arms, and the little girl was smiling at the camera. Emma was herself cuddling Liam, who was laughing, while Henry was standing in the middle, a happy grin on his face. Emma gave it to Zoey, who looked at it for a little while, and she saw her features relaxing. She finally looked up at her to say.

"That's a beautiful family. What's their names?"

"My husband is Killian. The oldest kid is Henry, he's 18. Then it's Liam, who's now four and a half, and Leia, who's two years old.

"Leia? As in Star Wars?" Zoey asked with a sincerely amused smile.

"Let's say it's a long story." Emma giggled at the comment.

"They're absolutely adorable." She said, giving Emma her picture back. "I'd like to have a family like this as well."

"You will." Emma answered without thinking twice about it. "You deserve it, Zoey. Look, I don't know you, but I can see that you're an amazing young girl. I'm sorry for everything you've had to go through. But you're going to find your family too, you'll see. You just need to hang in there. Don't ever give up, it's gonna get better."

The young girl smiled, and Emma could see behind the tears shinning in her eyes that her words had given her a bit of hope back. Because if it'd gone well for Emma after all, why wouldn't it be the case for her as well?

The two women continued to talk for a good half an hour, as if they'd known each other for a long time. Emma could already sense the maternal affection she had for this lost girl. She learned that Zoey was a fan of rock music, that she liked watching movies, and that she was dreaming about going to NYU to study health care and become a surgeon. Finally, at the end of the meal, Emma said with a little sigh, knowing Zoey wouldn't like what she was about to tell her :

"Look, Zoey. I'm sorry, and I know you are not going to like this, but I'm forced to call the police. I can't leave you out there like this, you know? It's dangerous, and I don't want something to happen to you." She added, seeing her new friend about to protest. "But I'm leaving you two choices. You can stay with me until the police arrives here, and we will say goodbye, before they get you back to your foster home. Or I give you ten minutes to go wherever you want, before calling them and telling them that I met you but I don't know where you are anymore. You get to choose, kiddo. You just need to remember that you're already fifteen. You only have a few more years to spend at your foster home. After that, if everything goes all right, you'll be able to get out of there. You'll even be able to get a scholarship if you work well at school to get your place at NYU. Imagine going to a campus, meeting people, making real friends and learning what you love. But for this, you'll have to continue high school, and stop running away. I won't lie to you, the few years that you still have in the system are not going to be easy. But something wonderful is waiting for you after this if you really want it. I'm convinced that you'll have a good life."

She seemed to think for a second, and Emma patiently waited for her answer. She didn't want her to make the same mistakes she'd made at her age. She'd dropped high school, she'd become a criminal and had ended up in prison, pregnant, at 17. She didn't want Zoey to take the same path, she didn't want her to suffer like she had. But finally, the teenage girl looked up at her and smiled to say :

"Okay, you can call them. I'll wait with you."

Emma smiled at her, feeling a sense of pride at the girl's decision and at the fact she'd maybe helped her a little bit, giving her the hope of a better life after all these hard times. She called the police quite quickly to tell them the young girl was with her. Then they walked out of the diner to wait for the officers, standing on the sidewalk.

An idea crossed Emma's mind, and she took Zoey's arm to roll up her sleeve, as the teenager was looking at her with surprise. She didn't say anything, and took a pen in her purse to write her phone number across the girl's forearm, like a teenager would have done.

"If you need anything, if you wanna talk about something important or just tell me how you're doing, you can call me. No matter if it's day or night, I'll be there. Okay?"

She smiled at that, looking so happy and touched to finally have an adult she could count on, someone who would care about her and reassure her when things would get too hard. Emma saw Zoey starting to shiver, and she took off her sweater to place it around her shoulders. The teenager tried to protest, saying :

"But how will I be able to give it back to you?" She asked.

"It will only be an occasion to see each other again." Emma answered, rubbing her back to warm her up in a maternal gesture that made the girl smile again.

"Thank you, Emma. It means a lot. Look..." She said, wavering a bit. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything." Emma answered gently.

"You told me your family lived in Maine, right?" She said, referring to the conversation they'd shared a bit earlier. "Why are you in New York, and not with them, then?" She continued when Emma had nodded.

She blinked several times, the reality of the situation suddenly hitting her like a punch in the stomach. Zoey was right, damn, she was so right. What was she doing there, while the family she'd dreamed of for her entire life was awaiting for her in Storybrooke, her home? Why had she run for so long instead of trying to save what she had with Killian, with the man who'd brought her home, who'd shown her she was loved and safe and would never be alone again? Completely lost, she then stuttered a bit :

"I... I don't know. Well, I do." She added, seeing Zoey tilting her head in question. "It's because we had a pretty violent fight, and I needed to get away from my husband for a little bit. But now, I have to admit I don't see why I'm still here." She said, more to herself than to Zoey.

"I can understand. It's because running is an habit for us, the foster kids. We just don't want to get hurt again." She answered with a sudden maturity that made Emma blink in surprise.

She was about to tell Zoey that she was absolutely right, but the police car arrived in the parking lot, and Emma could see the teenager stiffening beside her. She smiled at her and gave a little squeeze to her shoulder as a silent encouragement, then talked with the officers for a little bit.

Just before walking into the car, Zoey turned to her, and she could see in her eyes that she was feeling genuinely sad to leave her so soon. Emma had to admit she was pretty sad as well. She'd gotten attached to this girl so fast, this teenager who was so much like her. The girl smiled again and quickly wrapped her arms around Emma for a long hug. The blond rubbed her back, gently saying in a low voice :

"You can call me whenever you want, Zoey. Don't forget, all right?"

"Thanks, Emma, for everything." She whispered in a husky voice, as if she was holding her tears back. "Can you promise me something before I go?"

"Of course, kiddo." She said, pulling away a bit to look straight at her.

"Can you promise me you'll go back to your family? If you're like me, you've searched for this your entire life. It would be a pity to lose everything for a fight."

Touched by her words, Emma simply nodded, the lump in her throat preventing her from talking. Then she climbed into the car, and, after one last wave, she disappeared into the night. Emma looked at the streets, still standing on the sidewalk, completely lost after this unexpected meeting.

* * *

Emma didn't really know what to do with herself after leaving Zoey. This young girl who'd entered her life only a couple of hours ago had already made everything different. She'd reminded her of how hard she'd wanted a family before actually finding her own. She'd made her see how wrong it'd been to run away like this, because it'd only made her and the people she loved suffer even more.

But she was so scared to go home. She was so scared to go talk to Killian and say things she didn't mean because of her anger, or she was afraid of getting hurt again. Dozens of contradictory thoughts were crashing inside of her brain, and she could feel the start of a migraine appearing behind her eyes. She wanted to get her husband back, to hold him close, to forgive him and tell him she loved him so much. But she was still mad, because she'd trusted him and he'd betrayed her several times in such a short period of time. She'd lived this as an abandon, and it was reopening scars from her childhood that had never really healed.

She took a long and hot shower when she got back to the apartment, but it didn't help her take a decision. She knew she needed to get back to Storybrooke soon, to go hug her children and the people she loved. And she wanted to go back to her home. She was missing Killian and the kids, and she just wanted to forget what had happened to start anew. But she was so afraid she was stopping herself from listening to the cries of her heart. And she really didn't know what to do.

When she got out of the bathroom, she then decided to go to the pub she'd walked past several times during her morning runs, to go drink a glass or two and find herself in a lighter state to help her make a decision. She wouldn't get drunk, though, she'd learned her lesson the last time, she would just take a couple of drinks to help her see clearly. She grabbed her purse as she walked out of the apartment, closing the door behind her, and she ran down the stairs to enter the coldness of the night.

Arrived at the bar, she ordered a glass of rum without even having to think about it, as if tasting Killian's favorite drink would help her see what was best to do. Determined to stay sober, she drank slowly, lost in her thoughts, replaying her meeting with this teenager that was so much like her. Almost unconsciously, she got the family portrait she'd shown Zoey a bit earlier in the day out of her purse, and ran her fingers over it with a small smile on her face and her heart aching in her chest at how beautiful her family was.

That's when the second meeting occurred.

As she was trying not to start crying, because she was missing these people so much but was too scared to get back to them, she heard a deep voice saying from behind her shoulder :

"That's a beautiful family you have there."

Emma turned with a frown, a bit startled, and unconsciously hid the pictures in her palm as if to protect her family. She met the gaze of a tall Afro-American man, who had to be around fifty years old. She threw him a suspicious look, not understanding what he wanted from her. He laughed at her expression, and sat down on the empty stool beside her, saying to the barman :

"Two rums, please."

"I'm married." She said coldly, not understanding why this stranger was acting like this, the reflexes of a young girl living in the street coming right back to life as she'd had to learn to distrust too nice people in order not to get hurt.

"Oh, I know." He said with another chuckle. "I'm not trying to flirt with you, you know. You're way too young for me."

She felt herself blush, not knowing how to react to that. Her head was telling her not to trust this stranger, as always when she was meeting someone she didn't know. But at the same time, her instinct was yelling that she could trust him. She searched for his gaze to be sure of his intentions. He had really beautiful, dark eyes, in which was shinning a light of pure kindness and goodness. So she decided to relax a bit and offered him a small smile, quite happy to actually have some company :

"Sorry." She said in a low voice. "A stranger approaching me like that, you can understand that I have troubles trusting him."

"I get it, don't worry." He said with a grin. "You're right to do so, it can be dangerous to be too trustful with someone you don't know. You were just looking a bit lost, there. I was wondering if maybe you needed to talk to someone?"

"You a shrink or something?" Emma asked with a bit of mockery in her voice, but at her greatest surprised, instead of getting upset and leave her, he burst out laughing.

"Maybe." He said when he'd calmed down a bit, before reaching for her hand to shake it. "I'm Jack, by the way."

"Emma." She answered, returning his smile.

"You don't look like you're feeling that good, Emma." He said kindly, taking a sip out of his rum.

She spun her glass between her hands, and vaguely shrugged at his question. She didn't really want to tell this perfect stranger what was weighting on her mind. She didn't talk about her troubles with her own family, sometimes, so talking to a guy she didn't know was a bit weird to her. He didn't get upset because her silence, and simply continued :

"I understand that you don't want to tell about your life to someone you don't even know. But sometimes, it can help to talk to someone who's not in your situation and can help you see more clearly."

She shrugged again at that, not knowing what to answer and thinking about his words, which strangely sounded like the truth to her ear. He started again, very softly :

"Very well, it's perfectly normal. Maybe you'd like to talk about something else? As I was saying, it's a beautiful family you have there."

She hesitated for a couple of seconds, but decided to finally give him an answer. She wasn't risking anything by talking to him, and she really needed company, someone to talk to so she wouldn't drown in her own dark thoughts.

She then smiled slightly and got the family portrait out of her hand to show it to him, as he was grinning at the adorable picture. She asked, a bit curious, and getting more and more relaxed :

"Do you have any kids, Jack?"

"Two, actually. Two little girls. They are the light of my life." He said with a smile of pure happiness. "Are the three of them yours?"

"Yeah." She said, tenderly smiling at the image. "Well, the oldest one doesn't officially have the same father, but it's the same for us."

"The little girl looks just like you." He said, showing Leia.

"Yeah, and the boy is the spitting image of his father."

"It looks like you're close." He kindly noticed, seeing the look Emma and Killian were sharing on the picture, displaying all their love to the world.

"We are." She said with a somewhat shy smile. "We've been together for years, and we love each other a little bit more every day."

"Tell me, Emma." He said in a soft tone, straightening on his chair. "What are you doing here, without your family, if you're all so close to each other?"

Emma sighed and shrugged once again. She knew she could actually safely talk to him about what was happening in her life right now. He seemed to really want to help her. She wouldn't see him ever again, and maybe he would help her decide what to do. She then took a deep breath, wondering deep down why the hell she was talking to this stranger, before answering :

"Because things are bad right now, and I don't know what to do about this."

"He hurt you?" He guessed.

"Big time. I made my share of mistakes too. And I want to make things better, but I'm scared that he's going to make me suffer again. Is that insane?" She said, looking up at him with another sigh.

"On the contrary." He answered. "It's human. But if you both love each other so much, don't you think he deserves a second chance? Everybody makes mistakes. And I'm certain that he's blaming himself right now. After what you told me, I can say that your relationship deserves tho be fought for. There is a time when you need to stop running. I think you can easily get over this difficult time if you give him another chance to redeem himself."

His words reached her mind a second later, as she was realizing that he was absolutely, utterly right. His words and Zoey's started to mix in her brain. _A second chance, he deserves it, you love each other, go get your family back._

Killian's hurt face appeared in front of her eyes, his tears wetting his cheeks. He was feeling bad. They loved each other. She needed to go and get him. They needed to talk about all of this. She knew it now, and she was finally ready.

So she turned to look at Jack, her lips parted, her breathing fast, her heart pounding inside her chest. At his expression, she got that he'd already guessed she'd taken the right decision. He smiled at her, and she got off her stool, taking her purse and still holding the family portrait tight in her hand.

"Go get your husband back, Emma." he said with a smile.

"Thank you so much." She just stuttered before getting out of the bar, almost running to get to the apartment.

She needed to go find Killian. Right now. It was more important than anything. So she chose not to pay attention to the late hour, to the fact she'd drunk a bit, and didn't bother to call Killian to tell him she was coming back. She took the stuffs she'd scattered around the apartment during her stay, tossed it on the backseat of her car, and pushed on the accelerator pedal so hard her car made an almost scary noise as it was starting off.

She was going home.

* * *

 **Next week is the big reunion! We won't see Jack anymore in this fiction, but I can tell you we will see Zoey again :) I hope you liked this chapter, even though Killian wasn't in it. It seemed important to have Emma be alone for a little bit! See you next week! :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**thanks to oncer4life11 , EllaHillCrouch, dancingmylifeaway, Alexa, paupaupi, Guest and Emilee Amethyst for the reviews! :)**

* * *

She hadn't thought about calling Killian to tell him she was coming home. She hadn't even taken a break since she'd left New York and this miserable routine she'd created there. She was driving dangerously fast, but was choosing to ignore this fact, and if she kept on that way, she would arrive in Storybrooke in the middle of the night.

She knew she should have called her husband so he wouldn't worry when he'd hear someone coming in at night, but she actually liked the idea of surprising him. Waking him up with little kisses all over his face, holding him so tight as she was feeling his strong arms wrapped around her to keep her close. And, after celebrating their reunion – god, that was gonna be good, she could tell – they would finally talk, she would finally forget about everything that'd happened recently.

She was ready, now, more than ready. She was forgiving him. He was her family, her everything, and she was loving him beyond words. She wasn't going to let these little troubles control them and ruin what they'd built over the years. Zoey and Jack were right : she finally had a family, after all those years. She wasn't going to lose anyone ever again.

She drove in silence for several hours in a row, not even putting on some music, trying to think more clearly about what she would tell Killian when she would finally find herself in his arms again. The streets were empty at this late hour, and she was driving on a road barely enlightened by a few street lights, lost in the middle of the woods.

Her cellphone was indicating the way home, and she listened to it absent-mindlessly, pushing on the accelerator pedal despite the low visibility. She just wanted to get home. Even more, she needed to. She had finally understood that she didn't have to hold grudges like that, that she could trust her husband. And she was so eager to finally be reunited with her loved ones again.

Her phone suddenly started to ring and made her startle as she was lost in her thoughts. Ignoring every safety rules she'd ever learned about, she decided to pick the call up, telling herself that a little bit of danger wasn't going to kill her. The streets were empty anyway, and she got this. After all, she'd just taken her bug as she'd drunk a little bit, she was exhausted, and it was pitch-dark outside. That was dangerous and she was still alive. Her cellphone wasn't going to kill her, right?

She grabbed the phone, that was placed on the passenger seat, to look at the screen, and a smile spread on her lips when she realized it was her mom trying to reach her. So happy to finally find her way home, she didn't realize that it was more than midnight, and that this call was thus probably announcing something bad.

"Hey, mom!" She said in a cheerful tone, only leaving one hand on the wheel without slowing down a bit.

"Emma?" She heard a bit of surprise in Mary-Margaret's voice, probably because of how happy she sounded.

"Guess what?" She said, panting a little because of her excitement. "I'm coming back, mom! I'm coming home!"

"That's great, honey." She started, but she seemed worried, and Emma frowned. If everything had been all right, her mom would have been so happy to learn these news. She was starting to realize that something was probably wrong.

"What's the matter?" She asked, sounding all calm and professional all at once, thinking that a villain or a monster of some sort had arrived in town again.

"Something happened, baby... It's Killian."

"What?" She said in a low tone, feeling her heart skipping a beat at these information, and not even realizing that she was almost driving on the wrong side of the road because of her worry. "Is he okay? What happened?"

"He got into a fight with Salim. Things got pretty bad. We managed to separate them before it got too violent, but he received some pretty bad punches..."

"Oh my god, is he badly hurt?" she asked hastily, feeling tears appearing in her eyes and blurring her sight even more.

She should never have gone away, she thought. It was all her fault. If she had been here, she would have stopped him, she would have calmed him down, as always, and he would never have gotten hurt. She was feeling like she had almost lost him that night without even knowing it, and she felt a huge guilt spreading in her chest, twisting her stomach and making her head spin.

Why had she done such a thing? Why had she abandoned him and her kids like that? She had run away, again. After this long fight against herself, she'd lost and she had put her armor back on without even realizing it. And now, because of this, because she hadn't been able to face her responsibilities, he was hurt. She hadn't been able to protect him. She was feeling like a perfect idiot.

"He's been checked by Whale. He said his wounds aren't that bad, even if they are a bit impressive. But he's all right. I just thought you would like to know about this."

She was about to thank her mom for calling her, and wanted to ask her to warn her husband that she was coming back. They would finally be reunited in no less than a few hours, and she just couldn't wait. But a car horn suddenly made her startle, and she looked up. Too shocked by the news she'd just received, she hadn't realized that she'd looked away from the road, and was now driving on the left side of the street.

The headlights of a car driving straight at her blinded her for a second, and she let go of a loud curse while turning the wheel as fast as possible. She let go of her cellphone in the process, which crashed on the floor of her yellow bug. She crushed the brake as best as she could, but she didn't manage to take control over her car fast enough, and she ended up hitting a tree standing there on the ride side of the road, still driving at a breakneck speed.

Her head got projected forward, and it hit the wheel with a surprising violence. She wasn't sure of it, but it seemed like she lost consciousness for a few seconds before sitting back down with a wince of pain. She let go of a little whimper of distress. Her skull was feeling like it had cracked under the shock.

Placing a hand on her forehead to try and curb the pain, she felt a warm liquid covering it quickly, and needed a few more seconds to realize the red marks on her fingers were actually blood. A bit panicked at this sight, she glanced at the mirror to realize that her left bow bone was wounded and bleeding heavily.

"Emma! Emma, talk to me!"

Her mom's voice was ringing strangely into the narrow space. She was feeling the start of a migraine blooming behind her eyelids. She leaned forward with another grunt of pain to pick the cellphone up, completely shaken up by the shock. Her head was spinning, and for a crazy second, she didn't really know where she was anymore. In her mind blurred by the crash and the pain, she realized that she should have listened to what people had told her her entire life, and shouldn't have picked up the damn phone while driving.

"Emma, are you okay? Answer me!" Her mom was sounding so panicked, and her voice was shaking as if she were about to start crying.

"I'm okay." Emma said in a husky voice, her speech a bit slurred. "I was just in a car crash."

"Oh my god, baby!" She was sounding so worried it made Emma's heart ache. "Are you all right? Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine." She lied, placing her fingers against her wound again, and biting her lip to hold back a cry of pain. "It was just a little crash, everything's all right. I'll come back as soon as I can."

Without waiting for an answer, she hung the phone up, and got out of the car with uncertain steps, the world still spinning around her a little. She narrowed her eyes to look at the damage, praying all the gods she knew about so her car would still be able to take the road. She had to get home, now, she didn't have a choice. She wanted to, and now that she knew that Killian was hurt, she didn't have a second to waste. He needed her.

She winced and cursed under her breath when she was finally able to get a good sight of her car. The front part was entirely crushed by the shock but, luckily, she could see that the exterior was the only thing that'd been touched, and that the vehicle could probably still go for a while like that. Her yellow bug was definitely a tough one. It wasn't going to let her down now, it had survived worse.

Deep down, though, she knew that going back on the road was far from being a good idea. She was overexcited, she hadn't slept or eaten in hours, she had drunk a little, and even if she was far from being drunk, combined to the other things, it was making the situation even worse. And now, she had banged her head quite violently, and she knew that she should have gotten to the closest hospital instead of putting herself in danger like that.

But she had to go and join Killian and her family, she couldn't stay alone anymore. She needed their comforting arms. So she walked to the door to get back behind the wheel, but got stopped by an unfamiliar voice that made her startle :

"Ma'am? Are you okay?"

She turned, a bit worried, to discover a fifty something man, who was staring at her in concern. Her first impulse was to kick him and run away, afraid that he was ill-intentioned, but she noticed the phone he was holding in his hand, and his worried expression.

Looking back at the road, she noticed a car parked on the side, and understood that the man was the other driver, who had almost hit her. She tried to smile at him so he wouldn't worry even more, and answered in a slurred speech:

"I'm okay, sir. The crash looked worse than it really was. I'm sorry I almost hit you, I got distracted for a second."

"You were using your phone while driving, weren't you? I saw you, you know." he said in a severe way, looking at Emma as if she were a petulant teenager.

"I'm really sorry." She repeated with a little wince, knowing that she'd been entirely wrong. "My mom was just telling me that my husband's been hurt. I was shocked, and I didn't pay attention to the road. It's all my fault."

"Oh, dear, I hope he's all right?" He asked with a great honesty.

"He'll be okay." She said with a smile as a quiet thank you for his concern. "But I have to get to him right away."

"Wait, you can't take the wheel after such a shock!" he said, looking scandalized by this idea. "It was violent, you know!"

"I'm okay!" Emma repeated, talking a bit more coldly, because she just wanted to get back to Storybrooke and ignore her own wounds.

He didn't seem to care about the tone she'd used to answer him, and titled his head to look at her more carefully. She wondered for a second what the hell he was doing, and considered climbing into her car while he was distracted to never come back. But his expression suddenly changed to display a totally concerned look. She understood that he'd just noticed her wounds, and winced again. _Shit_. Things had gotten even more complicated, now.

"You're bleeding!" he said, his eyes wide open in fear.

"It's nothing." She tried to counter, but she realized he was far from being convinced when he lifted his phone up to his ear.

"That's it, I'm calling the hospital. You need to get checked."

"No!" She said, shaking her head to try and make him change his mind.

She knew he was right and she should have gone to a doctor to get stitches or something, but she also knew what would happen if she listened to this stranger. They would make her take a Breathalyzer, and even if she'd only drunk a little bit, it was rum and they would probably notice it. After taking care of her, they would call the police, as she would probably be in big troubles.

The proceedings would take hours. And she didn't have a choice but to come back home as fast as possible. The man she loved needed her right now, and she wasn't going to let him down, not again. The stranger facing her started to type on his keyboard, saying with a vigorous nod :

"But you're hurt! A shock on the head can turn out to be really bad, you know! You can't possibly start driving again like this. It can be very dangerous. You can't have another crash."

She understood that she didn't have a choice but to get away from there, or she would be trapped into this mess of a situation for hours. She didn't have time for that. So she answered hastily "Sorry, buddy, I have to", aware that he just wanted to help her, and she took advantage of the fact he was too surprised to act right away to get into her car.

She managed to get the bug back on the road, and crushed the accelerator pedal under her foot again, without paying attention to the man trying to call her back, looking desperate by her reaction. She was going home, no matter how.

* * *

She didn't take one break until arriving in Storybrooke. Her home, finally. She was in pain, her head was spinning so hard that sometimes, she couldn't see where she was going anymore, but the adrenaline was helping her to stay conscious and aware. She still knew that it was a miracle she'd gotten home in one piece and without hurting anyone.

It was the middle of the night, now, and the streets were empty, giving this usually animated place the strange atmosphere of a ghost town. She parked in front of her house, and without paying attention to the fact her bug was almost standing across the road, she rushed to her front door, an acute pain pounding in her skull.

Her mom was waiting for her in the hall. She'd probably stayed with Killian while waiting for her to come home. She'd certainly heard the bug, and was pacing in the room, but she obviously hadn't expected to see her daughter hurt. She let go of a cry of pure concern when she saw the dried blood on Emma's face, and the wound still bleeding from above her eye. She approached her to cup her cheek, but seeing that she was about to start talking, Emma cut her off and said hastily :

"I'm okay, don't worry. Where is he? Is he all right?"

"He's in the living room. He's resting" She said, still peering at the wound with a worried frown. "But Emma, you told me you weren't hurt..."

"I'm not. It's nothing." She said with a shrug, wanting to avoid the subject. "Seriously, I just wanna know what happened to Killian, right now."

Mary-Margaret sighed, understanding that trying to discuss with her daughter was useless. "He'll tell you about it himself."

"The kids?" Emma added, panting because of the fact she wasn't even bothering to breathe between two questions. "They're okay?"

"Henry is at Regina's. Liam and Leia are at the loft with your father. They're sleeping like angels. We haven't told them anything, we thought it was better if they didn't see Killian like that."

"Thanks a lot, you did good." She said, nodding, relieved to know that, at least, her kids were safe.

"Are you sure you don't want me to call Whale?" her mom insisted. "You don't look so good."

"I'm fine." She said, eager to finally go see her husband. "I'll take care of this later."

Her mom was about to protest, but Killian's voice interrupted them and rang into the house. Her heart skipped a beat when she noticed that his voice was a bit lower than usual, and that he was sounding utterly lost.

"Swan? Is that you?"

"I'll leave you to it." Mary-Margaret then said, getting that she wanted to stay alone with her husband for their reunion.

Emma simply nodded as a thank you, and didn't even wave at her to say goodbye. All that mattered now was her husband and his health, and she'd forgotten everything that was going on around her, her mom, her panting, even the pain in her skull.

She rushed to Killian then, and found him standing in the living room, waiting for her. Without even bothering to look at him to assess his wounds, or to try and decrypt the look he was giving her, she ran to him and threw herself into his arms.

He almost lost his balance under the shock, and let go of a muffled grunt of pain, but he didn't say anything and just held her so close she was feeling like she couldn't breathe anymore. But she didn't care. She ran her fingers through his dark hair, as his were tickling her back, her neck, her face, every part of her he could reach, as if he'd been scared he would never see her again.

She realized then just how much she'd missed this man, and felt like she was about to start crying. Everything about him had left a huge hole in her heart while she was away. His smile, a bit lopsided when he was about to tease her, his way of scratching the back of his ear when he was embarrassed, the tone he would use to talk to her, always so soft and loving, his caring touch, the way he would always look at her as if she were the most beautiful woman alive.

She didn't want to let go of him ever again, now that she had found him back. And he seemed to feel the same way, because he was still holding her so close her feet weren't really touching the ground anymore.

They didn't say anything at first, and their jerky breaths were the only sounds ringing into the silence of the house. Then she finally pulled away from him after a long while, tears in her eyes, and she gasped in fear when she saw how bad his wounds actually were.

One of his eyes was closed and swollen, his jaw had taken a scary purple shade, and he was standing a bit bent, as if he'd been kicked in the stomach several times. Dried blood was staining his beautiful face, but he didn't seem to care about his pain one bit. He was staring at her own face with pure fear in his gaze. She let go of a little whimper of distress at how hurt he was, carefully taking his face with both her hands as if to heal his wounds and take a bit of his pain.

"Oh, Killian..."

"Swan, you..." he started, staring at her wounds and his hand still resting on the small of her back.

"Shh, sweetie. Don't exhaust yourself." She cut him off in a very soft voice. "Come here, sit down. It's gonna be okay. I can fix this."

He obeyed, knowing that she was too stubborn to listen to his protests, but kept on staring at her with pure worry in his gaze. She didn't pay attention to that, and slowly ran her hand above his face, then entire body to heal every wound, every pain he had. He closed his eyes, and in barely a few seconds, he had gotten his good look back.

He straightened on his seat, and stared at her with his deep blue eyes, what made her heart skip a beat. All at once, now that she knew he was okay and safe, she felt a wave of anger rushing over her, because he'd gotten into a fight and he'd put himself in danger. She just couldn't stand the thought of losing him. Frowning, she smacked his shoulder, softly, though, because she didn't want to hurt him, and he placed his right hand over his left arm with an offended look on his face.

"Hey! What was the use of healing me if it's to punch me right after?" he protested, but she knew that he was trying to mess with her to relax her a bit, because he had a small smile on his face, and there was no way she'd actually hurt him with how soft her punch had been.

"You deserve it!" She replied, widening his eyes at him as if he were a petulant child, and showing him that, if he was joking, she wasn't. "What has gotten into you, tell me? What were you thinking, to get into a fight like that? You scared the shit outta me!"

"And what about you?" He replied softly, his smile gone and his worry back. "You were in a car crash! And you're hurt!"

He placed his hand on her face, gently cupping her cheek and, almost unconsciously, she pressed herself inside his palm to enjoy his touch more easily. She'd missed him so much, and she didn't want to leave him ever again. She took a few seconds to answer, placing her own hand over his to caress his skin.

"That's nothing. I'm fine. Can you tell me what happened? Why did you get into this fight? I was so scared..."

"Not before you use your magic to heal yourself!" he said, gesturing to her brow bone with a serious look on his face.

"But, Killian..." She tried to protest, just wanting to know the truth.

"No, Swan! You're hurt! There is no way I'm telling you anything before you're feeling better."

She sighed in exasperation and rolled her eyes, but had to hold back a smile. She had her husband back, she was by his side again, and she'd missed his caring so much, even if she was sometimes complaining about it. Killian, the love of her life, who wanted her to sleep enough, to eat healthy, to not work too much and to take care of herself. God, she'd missed everything about him so damn much.

She closed her eyes to focus a bit, and ran her open hand above her face, feeling her magic making its effect. When she opened her eyelids back, the pain was gone, and she glanced into the closest mirror to realize that the wound and the blood had disappeared, as if nothing had happened, and the car crash had only been a nightmare.

Killian shyly smiled at her, and she felt her heart swelling inside her chest. Not standing the idea of being far from him, she got closer to place her hand on his thigh, and asked in a whisper :

"So? What happened?"

"I got into a fight with Salim." He admitted with a little sigh.

"I know, my mom told me. What I wanna know is why?" She said, gently stroking his leg to encourage him. "I thought you two were friends."

"We are, it's just... Look, Emma."

She felt her breathing getting stuck in her throat as he was leaning forward, taking her free hand between his fingers while she was still running her thumb in soothing circles on his leg. Very kindly, he stroked her own skin, and this simple gesture made a shiver of pleasure run up her spine in expectation.

"When you left... I was completely lost. I still am, if I'm being honest." He said with a nervous chuckle that made her heart ache. "But I'm already feeling better, now that you're here. I was feeling so bad for hurting you, because I love you so much and I just want you to be happy. I couldn't blame anyone but myself for this entire situation, and it became a burden too heavy to bear. I missed you so much, every time I would see the kids I would see you in them, and I just wanted to call you to beg you to come back to me, but I also knew it wasn't going to help anything."

"I know you, now, baby" He added with a small smile. "I know it wasn't the solution. And I was deserving what was happening to me. But I ended up starting to blame Jasmine as well, because she was the one who'd come to find me when you surprised us at Granny's. Even if I should have told her to go, she was the one who hadn't respected my request of not seeing her again. I was so mad, so I went to tell her my feelings. Aladdin didn't know how to react, I was almost yelling at her because I was so angry, but Salim intervened when he saw how mad I was. He tried to push me away, he asked me to calm down, but I was hating myself too much, and it needed to get out by one way or another. So I pushed him as well, and a fight happened. It's Aladdin who managed to separate us, but we had the time to make a bit of damage."

"Oh, babe..." Emma started in a broken voice.

She knew he had been right to blame himself. But she'd been wrong too, she should never have run away like that. And she'd forgiven him, now. Everyone made mistakes, she'd made a ton of them too these past few weeks. She loved him so much, and knew now that nothing could ever break them. They'd survived worse.

His words had made tears appear in her eyes, and one escaped her attention to roll down her cheek. She was feeling so guilty to have gone away, to have left Killian and the kids. She knew now that she should have talked to him instead of walking away. She hadn't wanted to hurt him. But she'd felt so bad the only thing she'd found to feel better had been to run away, again. She squeezed his fingers between hers, and continued in a voice strangled by the sobs she was refusing to let go.

"I am so sorry, you know. I should never have gone away like that. I know it now. I've done what I would always do all those years ago, and I should have been stronger, I should have stopped those walls from going back up. You've hurt me, but I've hurt you too by running away like that. It was the worst decision to make. I'm so sorry..."

"Don't apologize, darling." He cut her off, his eyes shinning with unshed tears. "Please. I wasn't saying those things to make you feel guilty. You did what you thought was good for you. You've felt let down again, while I'd promised you I would never abandon you. I've been terrible, and I hate myself for it. You're the love of my life, you're my everything, I love you so much I don't even know how to say it anymore. And I've hurt you. Do you think you... Can you forgive me?"

"You're not the only one to blame, Killian, I've made mistakes too." She blinked to try and keep her tears at bay. "And I've already forgiven you."

"Love, I don't even know if I deserve it..."

"Of course you do!" She cut him off, alarmed by his words. "You've made mistakes, and that's okay. I've made some too. And even if I felt like you'd betrayed my trust, it's the first time in years I actually feel bad because of you. It happens in a relationship, it's okay. You don't have to blame yourself anymore. I know I can count on you. I love you so much. I don't wanna lose you."

"I love you too, so much, my love." He said in a very low voice. "I'm sorry."

"I know, I'm sorry too." She murmured softly.

She finally let go of his hand, to place hers on his face. There, without really thinking about what she was doing, too happy to be in his arms again, she ran her thumb over the scar he had on his cheek, his nose, his lips. She was feeling like she was getting him back after a long and horrible absence.

He smiled at her, softly, and she did the same through the tears that were now rolling down her cheeks. She left her hand on his face, and whispered so softly her voice was barely audible :

"God, how I've missed you."

He didn't say anything back, but instead, he leaned forward to press a kiss on her lips. At first soft and tender, it quickly became more and more demanding, and it meant everything, how much he'd missed her too, how much he loved her, how he just wanted her to be happy.

His tongue was soft against her lips, asking for entrance and she answered his request in less than a second. They were both so eager to finally get together again that their movements were shaky, a bit clumsy, as if they were two teenagers discovering each other for the first time.

But neither of them really cared. All that mattered was that they were finally in each other's arms again, and that everything was good between them, for good this time. They weren't going to let anything separate them again. She loved him, so much that she'd never thought it possible before meeting him. These mistakes that they'd made along the way were forgotten now. Finally.

Soon, their clothes found themselves tangled on the floor, as they were staying on the couch, both too eager to finally find each other to actually take the time to get up in their room. One of her legs wrapped around him, allowing him entrance, she was nibbling at his ear, tasting his skin and letting go of little moans as he was sucking at her neck, leaving a pretty mark on the tender skin.

As she was searching to take him into her hand, her arm stuck between the two of them, he gently stopped her, pulling away from her to look at her in the eyes. Before she could ask anything or protest because she wanted to continue what they'd started, he said so softly her heart skipped a beat :

"I'm so happy you're here, you know. I love you. I don't ever want to be parted form you again, all right?"

"All right." She promised, before arching her back to find his mouth, and whisper against his lips. "Now, let's celebrate this."

It made him chuckle, but he didn't let her reach for him, and instead started to place a trail of little kisses down her neck, then collar bones. He reached for her breast, sucked at her nipple, making her gasp in pleasure. He stayed there for a while, before going lower and lower, and as he was finally reaching the place where she most needed him, before doing wonders with his mouth, he whispered against her tender skin, his breath warm against her :

"It's all about you tonight, princess."

Before she allowed herself to dive into the depth of her pleasure, she wondered how she'd managed to last one week without the familiar and comforting touch of his skin against hers, his mouth on her lips and the feeling of him inside of her.

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 **Okay, guys! Next week, Killian will finally tell Emma what happened with Jasmine all those years ago. See you soon! :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Thanks to dancingmylifeaway, Nenski, oncer4life11, Emilee Amethyst, paupaupi, Alexa and Nightingale53 for the reviews! :)**

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Laying on the living room couch, Killian and Emma were so close she could actually hear the fast pace of his heartbeats. It was still dark outside, and it was pretty cold in the house since the fireplace hadn't been lightened up, but none of this seemed able to reach them and their happiness.

Only dressed in their underwear, a blanket wrapped around their tangled legs, their arms were enough to give them the heat they needed. Emma was on her side, her back glued to the back of the couch, her stomach against Killian's as they were breathing at the same time. Her head was nested underneath his chin, as she was breathing him in. He was gently stroking her spine, and she was playing with his dark locks, as his a bit too long hair was reaching his neck.

They weren't saying a word, neither of them. They were just happy to be together again, and they were still breathing a bit fast at the pretty exhausting activities they'd just finished a few minutes ago.

Their reunion, and what had followed, had been so much more intense that what she could ever have imagined. Feeling him in her arms again, his body against hers, his heat inside of her, their hearts beating together as they were falling at the same time in the depth of their pleasure. She had her husband back, finally. As if nothing had happened between them. And she couldn't even explain the relief she was feeling at holding him close to her again, after everything they'd been through.

She moved a little bit to look up at him, and noticed that he seemed lost in his thoughts, his eyes staring at her as he seemed so far away. She smiled at that, and tilted her head up to press a kiss at the corner of his mouth. He seemed to come back to reality at her touch, but the smile he offered her didn't reach his eyes.

She understood that he was concerned about something, and felt her heart twisting in her chest. She just wanted them to be happy, now that they were back together. No more worry, no more tears, just smiles and laughter and sunny days spent together. She asked in a very gentle voice, tickling the thin skin of his neck and trying to soothe him a bit.

"What's wrong, babe?"

"I was just wondering... You've lost weight, haven't you?"

Emma didn't answer right away, a bit surprised by this unexpected question, and by the worried glance he was throwing her way. He was right, though. Since Jasmine's arrival in town, she'd spent a good part of her days not eating because of how stressed and worried she was. And given how hard she'd worked out for the past week, her runs and the hours spent at the gym, it was actually highly probable that she'd lost some weight.

She'd always been quite thin, but when she looked down at her stomach, she realized that her ribs were noticeable underneath her clear skin, which wasn't the case before. She frowned, herself a bit surprised by this discovery, then looked back up at Killian to answer, meeting his concerned eyes that hadn't left her once.

"I suppose you're right. You know that I can't really eat when I'm nervous, and let's say that I haven't been at my best for the last few weeks..."

"You haven't eaten?" He got worried, his eyes widening in fear.

"Of course I did." She shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant because she just wanted him to feel better, and purposely forgetting to tell him that she would usually only eat lunch. "I just skipped some meals, and I did a lot of sports, so I guess it's not surprising that I've lost weight."

"Oh, Swan..." He said, still stroking her back, and not looking that convinced by her words. "You need to eat, sweetheart. You know it's not good for you to skip meals like that."

"I know." She answered with a small smile, happy to find him and his caring back in her life. "I was just feeling a bit sick because of the stress. But I promise that now that I'm back, I'll start eating normally again. You have my word."

"When is the last time you really ate something?"

She winced. _Damn it_. He wasn't going to leave her alone, was he? She just wanted him to feel better, she was truly okay and she was afraid he would feel bad, because a part of the stress she'd had to go through lately had been because of their fights.

She had to think for a few seconds before answering. She could remember that she'd let Zoey eat the night before, herself only drinking a cup of coffee. She ended up admitting with a little pout :

"Yesterday, for lunch?" She said as if she were asking a question, waiting to see his reaction.

"Seriously, Swan?" He said, pulling a bit away from her to look at her with a scandalized expression. "Was it a real meal, at least?"

"Hum..." She hesitated, deciding that she was going to be completely honest with him – he knew her so well, he always knew when she was lying anyway. An open book, since the beginning "Not really."

"Which means?" he insisted

"Toasts." She finally said with a new little wince.

"Are you joking, Emma? The only things you've eaten since yesterday are toasts?"

She shrugged at that, trying to show him that she was okay, but he kept staring at her with a sorry expression on his face that made her want to kiss him senseless to erase it. He was feeling guilty, now, and she opened her mouth to reassure him and show him she was fine. But he was faster than her, and said, pulling completely away from her :

"Okay, that's it. I'll make you something right now.

She stared at him as he was getting off the couch, leaving her alone under the blanket. He put his hook back on, as it'd fallen on the floor during their time together, and she just looked at him without really understanding his reaction. She hadn't expected that to happen, she would have wanted them to stay on that couch, in each other's arms forever.

She raised an eyebrow at him as he was putting on his pants, but was staying bare chest. She gave him a look, admiring how tight his stomach was and how the muscles of his arms were playing as he was tying is pants up.

"Killian, it's the middle of the night. I can wait 'til morning."

"You won't wait for anything, darling." He countered, with an almost severe look that made her smile. "You need to eat and get healthy again. I will not let you starve yourself like that ever again, you understand?"

She chuckled at his words, because he was making such a fuss about this entire situation while she was feeling fine. More than fine, actually, since she was back in his arms again. She looked at him walking away with big steps, and leaned forward to grab his shirt, that was on the floor as well, and put the clothes on, her legs naked under it. She answered in a playful tone, teasing him :

"I know I can count on you for that, Jones."

"You don't take care of yourself, so I'll be doing this for you, then!"

She knew that all this caring was his own way of making it up to her after what they'd been through lately, all those screams and tears and feelings of betrayal. She smiled and walked to the kitchen to go and join him, her feet bare and enjoying his smell that was etched on the shirt and was giving her the wonderful feeling of being safe and loved. Finally.

He'd already gotten the food out of the fridge when she joined him, and was busy turning the stove on. She sat down on the kitchen counter next to him, letting her legs dangling above the ground, to look at him with a tenderized smile dancing on her lips. He was so adorable. His hair was messy, and he was frowning, focused, as if he were doing the most important thing in the world by cooking her something to eat. She started talking again after a minute of silence :

"What are you making?"

"Bacon. Scrambled eggs. Toasts. Basically everything we have in the fridge, and that can be used as a breakfast."

"I won't eat for three days after that." She laughed, but he didn't seem to find her joke funny, as he turned to her and grabbed her waist to pull her close to him.

"Oh, believe me that you won't have a choice anymore. I will make sure that you take care of yourself, now. I don't want you to get sick."

"Killian Jones, are you suddenly trying to act like my dad?" She teased him, playfully arching an eyebrow at him.

"Someone has to make sure that you don't starve yourself, Emma Swan, since you won't do it yourself." He answered, throwing a serious look at her.

She laughed again and leaned to press a kiss on his cheek, then a quick peck on his lips and let her nose brush against his for a second. Then she whispered against his lips, adoring him and everything that was making him the man he was :

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me, love." He said with a small smile. "It's an honor for me to be the one who takes care of you. And..."

A sudden shadow erased the happiness on his face. His eyes darkened a bit and his smile faded away, and she didn't need him to continue his sentence to understand how guilty he was feeling about her loss of appetite. And even if he was one of the reason why she'd felt so anxious lately, she didn't want him to torture himself. Everything that'd happened was forgotten, finally. He needed to forgive himself, especially because he wasn't the only one to blame for what'd happened between them.

"Hey." She started gently, cupping his jaw so he would look at her and see the sincerity written in her eyes. "Don't blame yourself, okay? Everything's fine. I'm here, I'm okay. I'm never leaving you again. I promise."

"I know, beautiful." He said, stroking her spine and she smiled at the nickname. "I just feel so guilty about making you suffer. You deserve all the happiness in this world, and I can't stand the fact I've hurt you."

"It's in the past." She assured him in a soft voice. "Truly. Everyone makes mistakes. I made some too lately, I know it. I forgave you, so it's time for you to forgive yourself. Stop torturing yourself, okay?"

"I love you so bloody much, Emma." he admitted as an answer.

He leaned forward just a little bit more, and his forehead came to naturally rest against her own. She looked at him in the eyes, not able to stop smiling because of how happy she was to feel him so close to her again, as if they'd grown even closer after everything that'd occurred recently. Then she whispered against his lips :

"I love you, too."

He smiled and moved a bit to reach her lips and capture them. The kiss was slow, soft, tender, and it lasted a little while as they were rediscovering each other after days spent apart. Then he pulled away from her, his eyes full of regret at the idea of leaving her even for a second, and walked back to the stove.

As he was taking care of the bacon, she stared at him, chewing on her lip and her pupils dilated in lust. The sight of his bare chest, tangled hair and focused expression was making an intense heat burn in her lower stomach. Shivers were running up her spine as she was trying not to jump on him right there, in the middle of the kitchen, sending the bacon to hell to ride him on the counter where she was sitting on right now. But he suddenly made her come back to reality and asked :

"So, how was you trip to New York?"

"I've missed you." She sighed. "I've missed all of you. But I did make some interesting meetings" She then admitted with a smile, her heart still pounding fast at the thoughts that had crossed her mind only a minute before.

She talked to him about Jack, and mostly about Zoey, this young girl that was so much like her, this lost teenager wondering if someone would ever love her. She told him how she'd made her realize that she'd made a mistake by leaving town and by running away from her troubles instead of trying to solve them. She told him about how close she'd felt to this kid, about how she'd seen her younger self in her. Killian listened to her carefully, seeming deeply touched by her story, and Emma ended up saying with a little sigh :

"I just wish I could have done more, you know? But instead, I've been forced to send her back to the system, while she's so unhappy..."

"You've done everything you could for her, love." Killian assured, approaching her again to take her hand and comfort her. "I know you would have liked to offer this girl a family, and I would have been more than happy to welcome Zoey into our home if we weren't living in a town constantly threatened by villains."

She looked up at him and realized, amazed, that he was absolutely sincere, that, if they'd lived somewhere else and if their lives had been safe, he would have welcomed this girl into their family without a second thought. She felt tears appearing in her eyes, telling herself that she was definitely so damn lucky to share her life with this wonderful, amazing man that she could call her husband. She straightened a bit to kiss his lips again as a quiet thank you, because she couldn't find words powerful enough to describe what she was feeling inside. She started talking again when they'd parted, his arms around her :

"I just hope she's going to call me. If I can't offer her a family, I would like to support her a bit, you know? I would like to show her that she's not worthless and that she's loved and wonderful. I would have done anything to have a grown-up by my side when I was in foster care."

He stared at her with so much love she felt her heart swelling in her chest. She could read pure pride in his eyes and in the tone of his voice when he said so softly :

"You're the most amazing woman in the world, my Swan. I hope you realize that, right?"

"I could tell the same thing about you." She answered, blushing a bit at his words.

Oddly enough, after this last statement that should have made him happy and proud, he grew silent, lost in his thoughts, as if he were far away while being just next to her. She wondered for a while what had gotten into him, but tried to give him space. He would come around eventually, it was obvious he was thinking and she needed to leave him be.

She just kept on looking at him moving behind the stove with an impressive dexterity, a wonderful smell invading the kitchen and making her stomach growl. Finally, after a few more minutes, their breakfast was ready, and she stayed on the counter as he was placing a plate overflowing with all kind of food next to her. She let her legs spread so he could stand between them and pull her close to him.

He looked at her eating, his hand finding its way under the shirt she was wearing to meet the thin and sensitive skin of her back and hips, and stroking it gently. After a while, she ended up arching an eyebrow at him to say playfully :

"You're not eating? I know you're going to protest again, but I'm unable to finish this alone."

He only gave her half a smile at that, but didn't answer, and she frowned, losing her teasing look. Something was looking off about him while he'd been so happy only a few minutes before, and she placed a hand on his chest, looking up at him to say softly. :

"What's the matter, Killian? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, darling, you haven't said anything wrong." He comforted her then, pressing a kiss on her forehead. "You're prefect. And it's nothing bad, really. It's just... I've thought about it, and..."

He seemed to hesitate on the words to use, as if what he was about to say was scaring him to death. She let her hand fall to his stomach, and placed the free one on his face, letting her fingers gently tickling the back of his ear to silently encourage him. She wouldn't force him to say anything, though. It was his choice, and she would wait as long as she'd have to. Finally, after a few seconds, he said :

"I think that it's more than time that I finally tell you why Jasmine came here in the first place."

Emma blinked in surprise. She hadn't expected that to happen at all. She'd finally accepted that he had his secrets and that it was okay, because she was choosing to believe in him and trust him. He would not let her down. And she didn't want to force him to say something he didn't want to tell her. It was his choice and it was his life. She knew now that it he was trusting her more than anyone, and that the reason why he hadn't told her anything was simply because he hadn't wanted to stir up the past. So she said, looking at him with a soft look on her face :

"Hey, babe, I'm being serious here. You don't need to do anything. I know now that there's a reason why you haven't told me anything before, and I respect that. I agree with that. I don't want to put pressure on you, you should be able to keep your secrets without me getting in the way."

"You're not forcing me to do anything, Emma." He assured with a very slight smile that didn't reach his eyes. "I just realized that this secret has pulled us apart, and I don't want that to happen ever again. And you have the right to know, especially because I know I will feel better afterwards. You always have the words to reassure me when I'm feeling down."

She smiled, touched by his words, touched that he thought that she was able to comfort him when he wasn't feeling okay. She pressed a tender kiss on his chin to silently encourage him and show him that he was going to be all right, she would make sure of it. He took a few seconds to start talking, as if it were too much for him, and she moved her hand from his stomach to grab his fingers and squeeze them between hers, whispering :

"Killian, whatever happened, I'm here. I'll always be there. I will always support you, it's a promise."

"I know." He said with a small smile.

He closed his eyes for a second, as if to gather his strengths and his focus and finally tell her what was wrong. Then he said in a voice so deep Emma's heart skipped a beat, because he was looking so down :

"Jasmine and I met back when I was still a pirate, in Agrabah. I'd managed to find some magic beans, and was coming back and forth between realms, searching for my revenge and a way to calm it down. I was still suffering from Milah's death, despite all the years that had passed. I just wanted to find the bloody crocodile and finally give him what he deserved. She came to my ship, one night, as I'd just arrived in her realm. I still can remember it, how she's appeared into the night, standing straight, all proud, Salim by her side. At the time, she hadn't met Aladdin yet. And she offered me a job."

He took a deep breath, as if to brace himself for what was coming, and she pressed his fingers just a little bit more to show him she was here and wasn't going to go anywhere, he could tell her anything. He gave her a little smile at her gesture, and continued in a low voice :

"You already lived enough harsh things to know that nothing is black or white in the world. Jasmine is a hero, there is no doubt about that. She helped so many people in her kingdom, she did so many good things it seems unfair to bring this part of her life back. She was just a young girl at the time, she didn't know anything about ruling a kingdom, and she'd just made a mistake. A terrible mistake. She'd managed to defraud a huge amount of money to get something that she wanted. But a man, just an innocent merchant, had discovered what she'd done, since she had no experience in this field and had been kind of clumsy. He'd threatened to tell everyone about her crime if she wasn't admitting what she'd done herself. But she couldn't risk anyone learning about this, she was going to get chased from the throne by her own people. So she came to meet me with a promise of gold, and asked me... She asked me to get rid of the man. Who was an innocent, just trying to do the right thing. And I did it without thinking twice about it."

He looked down at her, as if he were afraid of her reaction, but she just couldn't understand why he'd been so scared for so long. She shook her head, confused. She knew his past, she knew that he'd been a pirate for years and that he'd stolen and killed, and she'd accepted it. She'd accepted him entirely, because he was changed and she loved him. As she'd told him all those years ago, she liked it when people found their good heart along the way. The past didn't matter to her. He was a hero, now

"But Killian." She then said, running her fingers through his hair. "I don't get it. I know you've done that kind of things. I know you were a pirate, and I accepted that, I accept all of you, your past and your present because I love you so much. Why were you so scared of telling me this? You know I wouldn't leave you for this."

"Swan, you don't get it." He said, shaking his head. "I wasn't scared of you leaving me. I just didn't want you to know because... I'm ashamed of what I did, everything that I did when I was a villain. And I just want to make you proud, I just want to make our kids proud. I killed this man just in front of his wife and young daughter, who wasn't much older than Liam is now. Because this girl that I didn't know was flirting with me and this man that had become my friend had given me gold. Jasmine's arrival here, it just made everything come back to the surface. I just would have wanted to forget everything about my pirate's life, because I've hurt so many people. And now that I'm a dad, I never want our kids to know what I've actually done in the past, because I just want them to see me as a good man. Maybe I'm trying to be one now, and maybe I'm succeeding, but I wasn't for so long. I don't know if I could ever redeem myself for everything that I've done. And I was so scared. I knew you wouldn't have left me, never, I truly knew that, but I was afraid that, during the night, when you would wake up and look at me asleep beside you, you would not think about your husband and the father of your children, but the pirate that I've once been and that made so many people suffer."

He let go of a little sigh, and Emma's lips parted, so touched by his words. He wasn't seeing himself as a good person, and he was scared she would think the same way. It broke her heart. But it explained everything : his nightmares, the distance he'd put between them, his secrets, he just didn't want her to see him differently because something from his past that was long forgotten had come back into life. But he couldn't see the wonderful person he'd become, he couldn't see how perfect he was as a father, a husband, a friend in general for everyone in town. Everyone had made mistakes in their past, even her parents, and she was the first to regret what she'd done in her youth, stealing to survive. But nobody was perfect, it was okay to make mistakes.

So, without thinking twice about it, she got of the counter to stand in front of him, and pulled him into a tight embrace, her arms around his neck and his face in her hair. She could sense that his breathing had gotten faster, as if he were trying not to start crying. She kissed his neck then, several times, then pulled away to meet his eyes shinning with unshed tears. She stated, putting everything she had in her in her words :

"Killian, all of that is in the past. I know that you're hurt, that your regret what you've done when you were a pirate, but it only shows how wonderful you are now, if nothing else. You know you did wrong and you would like to go back in time and change the course of things, and that only proves that you're an amazing man now. Look at us, look at everyone in this town. Everyone has made horrible mistakes, but we've all been forgiven for it. You have to stop torturing yourself. Our kids are nothing but proud of you and will always be, no matter who you were before, because you are the perfect dad for them, now. The fact that you can't see how wonderful you are, that you can't see how happy I am to have you as a husband and as a best friend, and that you're the father of my kids breaks my heart. The little ones adore you, and they will always love you. I want them to have you as a role model, because you're the most amazing man I know. I love you, and I will never, ever see you differently, no matter what you've done, because you're a changed man now, and you're the love of my life."

He seemed so touched by her words tears appeared in his eyes, and he pressed another kiss on her forehead, trying to silently thank her. She truly hoped she'd managed to make him feel better. She was pretty glad that he'd told her everything, now : he seemed so relieved, and if she had to spend the rest of her life assuring him that he was the most wonderful man alive, she would do so gladly. It was her part as his wife to show him that he was a good man, after all. He answered after a few seconds, looking at her again to continue his story.

"That's why Jasmine is here, now. This time, it's Aladdin who made a mistake. It was an accident, but they want my help. I tried to convince them that getting rid of the proofs wasn't the right way to deal with things, but they wouldn't listen to me. She's still convinced that I'm only pretending and that I'm still a villain deep inside, and that's what scares me so much. I can't help but think that she may be right. I know she has a plan with Aladdin, and she's trying to flirt with me, not because she's actually attracted to me, because she loves her husband, she truly does, but so I would accept her offer. And I'm so sorry that all of this hurt you, because you don't deserve this."

"Everything's fine." She assured with a soft smile, gently wiping off a tear that had escaped his vigilance and was now rolling down his cheek. "We'll try to talk to them together, all right? They both need help. They aren't bad people, and they deserve to take the right decision. And if they don't want to listen to us, well, we'll send them back home. They won't have a choice. They made you suffer for way too long already. You're a hero, Killian Jones. And I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you so much, love." He said in a muffled voice, at the edge of crying. "I was right. You always know what to say."

She smiled tenderly at that, and cupped his face, wanting to prove by this simple gesture just how much she loved him and how happy she was that he was in her life. His past didn't have any kind of importance, she would always see him as a hero, as the man who'd managed to reach her when she was closed off and broken. A wonderful, caring, amazing man.

Her lust took control of her again. She knew a way that could prove him that she was being totally honest with him, that he was more than worthy and that she would never see him any other way.

"You are one hell of a hero, Killian Jones. And you deserve someone who can show you just how amazing you are."

He raised an eyebrow at her, not looking like he was getting her innuendo, but she didn't give him the time to actually ask her anything. She attacked his mouth, captured his lips and started to kiss him senseless. He seemed to finally understand what she had in mind, and kissed her back, so passionately her back hit the counter behind her.

He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up, putting her back on the counter. Still kissing him without even bothering to breathe anymore, she wrapped her naked legs around his waist to pull him closer to her. She grabbed his shoulders as his hand was getting lower and lower on her stomach to finally found the strip of her panties and reach her center. She moaned against his mouth then, enjoying the taste of his lips, the feeling of his skin and how damn good he was with his remaining hand.

* * *

 **Here we go! As I've said before, this story with Jasmine isn't really that surprising given Killian's past, but he was just scared to lose his family because of what he's done. I hope you liked it, in the next chapter Emma is finally reunited with her babies again! :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Thanks a lot to Somethingalltogether, oncer4life11, dancingmylifeaway, paupaupi, Nightingale53 and Guest for the reviews! :)  
**

 **I'm aware that Killian's past with Jasmine can seem a bit trivial, but I also wanted to show in this story how a simple thing can escalate quickly sometimes in live, especially in long-term relationships. I think a simple thing can seem so complicated when you're living it, and that's also why Killian didn't tell anything to Emma, while it would have made everything better : he was too shaken up in my opinion to think more clearly and realize admitting his past to his wife could settle everything. Anyway, here's the next chapter, I hope you'll like it! :)**

* * *

Emma got awakened by the warm and familiar feeling of Killian's lips tracing a path down her neck to leave open-mouthed kisses on her shoulders. She opened an eye and smiled at the gentle way he was trying to wake her up. She didn't even think about protesting to get woken up so early, despite how exhausted she was. She'd dreamed about this moment for an entire week, in her lonely bed in New York, and she moaned in pleasure realizing her wish had finally come true.

His arms wrapped around her, her back glued to his chest, the feeling of his breathing in her neck... She'd missed all of this so much, and it immediately put her in such a good mood, to be back in Killian's arms. She giggled as he was moving a bit, gluing her to his chest even more, to reach the back of her ear. She interlaced her fingers with his, as his right hand was spread wide on her flat stomach, and enjoyed the feeling of his mouth on her skin.

They'd ended up falling asleep around five in the morning, and despite their very short night, she was feeling so good. She was more than happy to wake up in his arms again, as if everything had come back to the way it'd been before, as if the events that had occurred had only been a nightmare. Feeling that she was awake, he continued to kiss her, nibbling at her ear and making her gasp in pleasure, before whispering in a very soft voice :

"Good morning, love."

She turned her head to reach his shoulder and kiss it, and he held her even closer for a few seconds, burying his face into the crook of her neck, his fingers stroking her stomach through one of his t-shirt, that she'd worn to sleep. She stayed in that position for another little while, enjoying the familiar feeling of his body against hers, this same sensation that she'd missed so much in New York. Then she ended up pulling away, just enough to roll and face him, wrapping her arms back around him so he wouldn't go away. Titling her head, she pecked his lips before saying :

"'Morning, captain."

The nickname made him chuckle as he was tugging her closer, and she placed her head just underneath his chin. She smiled as he was pressing a kiss on the top of her head, sighing in happiness. Everything that had happened last night – the car crash, their reunion, his revelations, their pretty eventful night – had exhausted her, but she didn't want to fall back asleep. She wanted to enjoy every given moment in his arms, because she'd been so scared to lose him for good. He seemed to think the same way, because he murmured into the quiet of the room :

"I've missed you so much."

She giggled at that, blushing a little bit, and kissed his chin as an answer. She was so happy to hear his deep, soothing voice, to feel his strong arms around her, his smell, the blue of his eyes, everything that was making him the wonderful man he was. Then she answered in a whisper, feeling like she'd be perfectly happy to tell him those words over and over again for the rest of her life :

"I love you."

He smiled, and she moved to see him looking at her with pure love in his eyes. He leaned to press a kiss on the tip of her nose, making her giggle again. Then he ended up saying, tickling her spine with his fingers :

"We should go fetch the kids at you parents', love. They've missed you so much. They've asked when you would come back every day. And what do you think about going to get breakfast at Granny's after that?" He continued after she'd nodded, eager to finally be reunited with her kids.

"You're going to watch if I eat correctly, now, huh? You weren't kidding when you said this last night?" She asked with a little chuckle. "I guess I won't be able to skip meals anymore."

"You've guessed right, beautiful." He said with another smile, before losing his grin to look at her seriously. "But I'm not doing this to annoy you, you know? I just want you to be healthy, because I love you."

"I know." She said, touched by his words and his concern. "I've never had anyone to look after me before you. And I'm happy to know that you're taking care of me."

"Finally, you admit it!" He said theatrically, making her laugh out loud.

"Shut up, Jones, or I won't ever say cute things like that again."

He laughed as well and kissed her lips several times, enjoying this morning hug in their bed. Then a pulled away from her to sit down, what made her groan in frustration. She pouted when she saw him getting out off the bed, and he smiled at that, arching an eyebrow at her :

"We both know what's going to happen if we don't get out of this bed soon, and if we indulge in these kind of activities again, the kids will have to wait a bit before getting their mommy back'"

She giggled, knowing all too well that he was right, and sat down on the bed, biting her lower lip in lust while staring at his bare chest and the muscles of his arms, as he was telling her that he was hitting the shower. She looked at him walking away with her stomach twisted in disappointment, realizing that she didn't want them to be parted, even if it was only for a few minutes.

She sighted, and grabbed her cellphone, which was laying on her night table, deciding to call Henry and tell him that she was back in town. She really wanted to see her son, and for him to join their family breakfast at Granny's. He picked the call up right away, and his voice sounded surprisingly cheerful when he started to talk :

"Hey, Mom!"

"Hey, kid." She answered, a bit surprised. "You seem in a good mood."

"Well, you're back in town, so how do you think I feel?" he said with a chuckle.

"How do you know I'm back in Storybrooke?" She asked, frowning and a bit perplexed, but also deeply amused by her son's behavior.

"I have my sources... Grandma told me this morning." He added when he heard her giggling at his comment.

"That explains a lot." She answered with a smile. "I'm calling to tell you we're going to get Liam and Leia at my parents'. Do you want to join us there? We'll go to Granny's for breakfast after."

"Great!" he said enthusiastically. "I'll be there. I'm so happy you're back, Mom. I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, kid." She said, touched by his words. "See you in a bit."

She hung up the phone, and stayed still for a few seconds, her hands on her naked thighs, not really knowing what to do now that Killian was gone. She just wanted to be close to him again. She suddenly felt a smile dancing on her lips as a marvelous idea crossed her mind, and she immediately got off the bed to walk to the bathroom.

She didn't want to be away from her husband, and she knew he would like her idea a lot. Taking their shower together was a pretty common situation in their relationship. And she was certain that he would be thrilled, since he'd been staring at her as if he'd wanted to keep her in his arms for the rest of his life.

She entered the bathroom, opening the door left ajar, and dived into the heat of the room, the noises of the shower covering her footsteps. She got undressed then, taking off his t-shirt that she'd put on to sleep, and her panties, the only things that she was wearing. Before opening the shower curtain, in order not to startle him, she said a bit teasingly :

"Would you allow me to join you for a shower, captain?"

She heard him chuckling at that, and she took this as an invitation, getting under the hot shower as well. She glued herself to his naked skin with a smile, and he immediately wrapped his arms around her to hold her close. His drenched hair was falling in front of his eyes, and she tenderly chased one strand of hair away, her fingers stroking his dark locks. He kissed her lips and his hand suddenly cupped her butt, making her gasp, as he was saying against her mouth :

"I was wondering when you would decide to finally come, princess."

"What can I say." She shrugged. "I just don't want to be apart from you, even if it's for a few minutes only."

A huge grin spread on his lips at that, and he pushed her back until she met the wall, kissing her senseless underneath the water still pouring over their heads. She could already feel his arousal, pressed against her lower stomach, almost sending her on the edge just at this wonderful feeling.

His hand suddenly moved to tickle her stomach, getting lower and lower until finally meeting her center. Still kissing her and stifling her moans with his mouth, he started this amazing dance with his fingers – god, he was good with his hand, she thought – teasing her until she couldn't take it anymore. But she didn't beg him to finally finish the damn job – not this time. Pushing him away, she took him by surprise when she turned the situation around, pushing him against the wall and kneeling on the slippery floor to take him inside of her mouth.

She took him to the edge of his orgasm as well, taking pleasure at teasing him, as he'd done the same with her. Instead of finishing the job, she got back up at the last minute, and captured his mouth again. He groaned something that awfully sounded like "You're going to drive me crazy, lass", then pushed her back against the wall, finally entering her. They both didn't take long to finally fall into the depth of their orgasm, and they ended up panting against the other's mouth, wondering how, once again, they'd managed to transform an innocent shower into _that._

They forced themselves to get out pretty quickly after that, knowing that they couldn't wait any longer to go get the kids. They were behaving like two teenagers, as they were searching for every occasion to touch the other, share a kiss, a glance, a hug. As they were walking to her parents' loft, he was stopping at every corner to share heated kisses with her, quite often managing to make her moan against his mouth.

She was enjoying all of this a lot. She was so happy everything seemed to be just the way it'd been before. Telling his secret seemed to have relieved him a lot, because he was more relaxed, his smile never leaving his face. Seeing him this happy, she promised herself to never let things get that bad between them ever again. She'd missed him so much, she loved him, and they were so happy together. They'd found each other, the two lost kids who'd thought, once upon a time, that no one would ever love them. And it would take more than a secret to tear them apart. The past had made them see that even death wasn't powerful enough to separate them.

* * *

"Mommy!"

Emma had barely had the time to walk into her parents' loft that she heard two little voices call her name. She immediately squatted for a hug, expecting to feel Liam embracing her tightly. But, at her greatest surprise, it's Leia's little blond head that rushed to her, and she threw herself into her arms, wrapping her hands around her neck. A bit puzzled by this reaction she hadn't seen coming, since her daughter was always so distant with her, she held her close as well and affectionately rubbed her back.

"Hey, honey." Emma whispered, dropping a kiss to the top of the little girl's head.

She didn't answer anything, but she stayed glued to her mom's chest, her arms still around her neck while Emma was hugging Liam, whispering comforting words in his ear as he was looking so happy to have her back. She did the same with her baby brother, sharing an adorable moment with the little boys, then got up to go hug Henry and her parents. She moved to place Leia back on the floor, but as soon as she felt like her mom was about to let her go, she screamed in protest and held Emma even tighter.

"What's gotten into you, baby?" She asked in a low voice, wondering what was happening to her daughter to act so strangely. She kept her in her arms then, and with her free arm, she hugged Henry as the toddler was keeping her face buried into the crook of her neck.

"She's asked after you all week long." Killian informed her, standing a few feet away from her and a little smile dancing on his lips.

"Huh?" Was the only thing Emma was able to answer, wondering if she'd heard correctly. "Are you sure we're talking about Leia?"

"Believe me, we tried to comfort her." Henry added, stressing his step-dad's words. "But she just said that she wanted her mommy."

"But she seemed okay on the phone." Emma said, completely taken aback by these statements, still holding her daughter close as if to console her.

"She was calm only when she was talking to you, trust me. Otherwise, she was a little terror. Right, little love?" Killian teased her, and she answered with a small groan.

"Yeah, Leia is a baby!" Liam exclaimed, staring at his mom with eyes shinning with happiness. "She cried after you!"

"You weren't that happy either." Henry said, quite amused, and Liam frowned at his older brother, as if he were mad at him for saying the truth.

Emma laughed slightly at the exchange, but felt deeply guilty for making her children suffer. She just wanted them to be happy, and if she knew she'd made a mistake, she just wanted to show them that she was there, now. She placed her free hand on Liam's shoulder, and her son titled his head to look at her with a smile. She grinned back, realizing how difficult it'd been to stay away from those she loved. She had the most wonderful family, she couldn't have dreamed about being so happy not so long ago, and now, she was finally ready to enjoy her happiness completely.

"I've missed you too, sweetheart." She said in a voice a bit broken by the emotion. "God, I've missed all of you, guys. I won't ever leave you again." she added, looking up at her family as they were smiling at her.

"Does that mean you're not going anymore?" Liam asked with a big grin full of hope.

She sat down on the sofa, gesturing for him to settle next to her, and she wrapped her arm around his little shoulders to kiss the top of his head. Leia was still holding her tightly, not looking like she was about to let her go, and Killian came to join them. He wrapped his arm around her waist without paying attention to her parents' presence, who shared a tenderized smile at how close they all looked there.

"I'm not going anywhere, baby." She said gently, before turning to Leia to assure her the same thing, but the little girl immediately started to sob in her neck, almost choking her because of how hard she was holding her.

Emma shared a worried glance with Killian, who gently rubbed Leia's back, trying to help her feel better. She hadn't thought that her absence would have this kind of effect on her little girl. She had worried for Liam's reaction, because they were so close, but not for her daughter's. She would never show that she loved mom after all, so she'd thought that she wouldn't mind her not being there. She hadn't expected to be missed. She was feeling so guilty to have made her sad. So she did the best she could to console her, hugging her so tight as, for once, her daughter was accepting her affection and didn't want to let go of her.

As Liam had climbed on Killian's lap and as the latter was thanking her parents for their help the night before, she continued to rub her daughter's back. She kissed her hair, and leaned to whisper comforting words to her ear, just wanting her to feel better and feeling like she was about to start crying as well.

"Hey, baby girl, calm down. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, see? I'm staying right here, with you. You can stop crying. I love you so much, little princess."

Rocked by these words and her soft voice, the little girl ended up calming down, but she refused to let go of her as they were saying goodbye to her parents to go get their breakfast. She carried her to the diner then, and she sat down on a booth as, settled on her lap and leaning against her chest, Leia was finally smiling again.

Liam in Killian's arms, both facing her, and Henry sitting next to her, they happily shared their meal, talking about anything in particular, often bursting out laughing at Killian's or Henry's jokes. Her husband ordered a real feast of pancakes, bacon, eggs, toast, waffles, basically everything they could eat, and he threw regular glances her way to make sure that she was eating this time.

She felt so thankful for him, and she ate like she hadn't for what seemed like weeks to her. Everything was back to normal, finally. Sure, Jasmine was still in town and they needed to talk to her eventually, because her presence was obviously bothering Killian. But for now, they were enjoying the others' presence after such a long separation, and she couldn't wait to simply spend this day with her family.

* * *

"Hey, babe?" Emma started, her fingers tracing arabesques on her husband's bare chest.

"Aye, love?"

"I love you." She simply stated. "Thanks for today."

They were laying on their bed, the room dark and only enlightened by the light on Emma's night table. The kids were asleep for long, now. Her head resting on his chest, his arms wrapped around her, they were both lost in their thoughts, their breathing the only sound ringing into the quiet of the room until she'd started talking.

Emma was exhausted by her day and the previous night, as she hadn't slept for long, but she was so deeply happy she was forgetting about everything. They'd spent the day on the Jolly Roger with the kids, sailing the ocean and enjoying a time together. Even if Leia was still behaving a bit strangely – she hadn't wanted to let go of her mom all day, had stayed in her arms for hours, and had insisted for her to read her bedtime story – Henry and the kids had been so happy to spend the day on the ocean. She'd smiled and laughed all day, Killian and her touching, hugging, kissing each other every time they could.

She'd suddenly felt the need to thank him for this wonderful idea he'd had to spend the day together, and she felt him smile as he was kissing the crown of her head. He tickled her side, his hand underneath her shirt directly touching her skin, what made her giggle, and she gently tap his hand as a kind revenge.

"The pleasure was mine, love. You liked it, then?"

"Is that even a real question?" She answered, snuggling a bit closer to his chess until she felt his heartbeat. "It was absolutely perfect."

"Then, I have a question for you." He said after a second of hesitation. "Tell me your real opinion on the matter, please. It's only an offer."

She rolled then, moving to be on top of him, and she wrapped her arms around him, placing her chin on his chest and smiling. He placed his arm underneath his head to meet her gaze, leaving his right arm wrapped around her to hold her close. She could see that he was a bit worried, and ran her tongue over her lips, a bit intrigued by his behavior. She smiled again then, and kissed his stomach before saying in a soft voice :

"Hey, I don't bite. You can tell me anything, you know that."

A smile spread on his lips and he stroke her back, his hand making its way underneath her t-shirt again. He shrugged then, and said in a low voice, as if he were scared she would refuse his offer. She could feel his heart beating fast in his chest.

"I was just thinking that it could be a good idea to spend a few days together, just the two of us, without the kids. We could go on the Jolly Roger, if you want. I just want to spend as much time as I can with you, given what we just went through. What do you think?"

She stayed speechless for a second, surprised by this offer. She hadn't expected to hear these words, but she felt her heart skipping a beat in excitement at the images forming in her mind. Just them, lost in the middle of the ocean for a few days, able to do whatever they wanted to. The truth was, she wanted nothing more than that.

"You're absolutely not forced to agree, Swan." he said in a worried tone because of her silence. "It was just..."

She didn't give him the time to continue his sentence, and moved to reach his lips and kiss him for a long, long time, her eyes closed and enjoying the familiar taste of his mouth. She felt him smile against her lips, and once they'd pulled away from each other, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him there, so deeply happy she couldn't even believe it.

"Are you kidding me? Of course I want to spend some time with you, you idiot." She answered, and he laughed at that.

She kissed him again, her mouth going up from his neck to his cheekbones, ear, then going down again to meet his lips and share some little pecks with him. He held her so close, and she didn't want to leave him, ever. She was feeling so good in his arms. She ended up whispering after a few minutes :

"I do think we should wait for a few days before going, though. The kids are still a bit preoccupied because of me, and I don't want to make them sad by going away again."

"You're right." He said, burying his nose in her hair to breathe her in. "We should wait for a bit. And after that, maybe we could bring them out of town for a vacation, what do you think? They need to leave Storybrooke for a while. And I want to discover this world as well, you know." He said, kissing her cheek

She smiled and rolled on her side to free him from her weight. He moved as well, laying on his side to face her, and placed his hand on her waist to gently stroke her skin, as if he couldn't stand the idea of not touching her for a second. It made her shiver in pleasure, and she looked up at him with her eyes shinning in happiness.

She was so happy he'd offered her this idea of a trip with the kids. She wanted to show her family the world for so long, but they hadn't really had the time to go on vacation all together. She was sure it would bring them even closer, and she whispered, her smile widening even more.

"It's an awesome idea, Killian. We could go to Europe, what do you think? There are so many beautiful things to see, there."

"Europe?" He repeated, looking a bit confused because, if he now was a modern man and had learned a lot in such little time about the world he was now living it, there was still a lot he didn't know about this place.

"Yes, it's a continent." She said with a small giggle, and she added when he arched an eyebrow at her in question. "You'll see. I'm sure you'll like it, there."

"You want to do this, then?"

"Nothing would make me happier." She answered, approaching him to kiss his lips once again.

They stayed wrapped in each other's arms for another little while, just enjoying the feeling of having the other close to them, and Emma's thoughts converged to the conversation they would need to have with Jasmine, Aladdin and Salim. Before all these trips and this happiness, they would have to arrange this situation, she knew it.

That's why she ended up pulling away from her husband to look at him, hoping her words weren't going to make him sad and bring back bad memories. But they didn't have a choice. They needed to get over this bad period of their lives, she wanted him to feel better, and the only way to do so was to make things clear with Jasmine. She then pressed a hand on his chest, and started almost shyly :

"Hey, Killian? I've thought about this a lot, and... Before all of this, maybe we should talk to Jasmine? I know it's gonna be complicated." She added, seeing his face dropping in sadness and worry. "But we have to do this. If you want me too, I will talk to her. I just want you to be happy again. I don't want you to feel bad because of her, because you're hero now. You don't have to doubt that ever again."

Oddly enough, as she'd expected him to understand but to be sad, he offered her a tender smile that made her heart flutter. He approached her again to press a kiss on her lips, and whispered against her mouth :

"Thank you."

"For what?" She asked, pulling a bit away to stare at him, intrigued.

"For always being there for me when I need you. You're right. We need to make things better. And then, everything will be okay again, and we'll be able to enjoy our family. You're the best, darling. I love you."

She grinned at that, and felt herself blushing a bit, touched by his adorable words. She titled her head back to kiss him slowly, showing him just how much she loved him as well. And, not really knowing how she'd found herself in that position, she soon started to press heated kiss lower and lower and his naked stomach, starting these activities they'd shared so many times since they'd found each other again.

* * *

 **Here we go! The next chapter will see the end of the Jasmine situation. And the two remaining chapters after that will only be fluff ! :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Thanks a lot to oncer4life11 , ellegirlie77, Julia-CS, paupaupi, Nightingale53 and Emilee Amethyst for the reviews! :)**

 **I'm posting this chapter a day early because I won't be there all weekend, and I'll do the same next week! Hope you'll like it! :)**

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Emma and Killian were walking hand in hand toward Granny's, watching Liam and Leia playing a few feet ahead of them and making sure they were both perfectly safe. Emma grinned when she saw Liam turning to give his hand to his little sister and encourage her to follow him. The adorable bond these two were sharing never ceased to make her smile, and she was so happy to be a part of such a perfect family.

The kids were finally feeling better, and it was making Emma so glad to see that things were back to normal. She glanced at Killian, who wasn't saying much and was looking a bit tensed. She knew it was normal. They were on their way to go talk to Jasmine, Aladdin and Salim, and he was pretty anxious about this upcoming conversation.

Emma didn't want to talk about this situation in front of the kids, and she therefore settled for stroking his hand with her thumb to try and comfort her husband. He turned to look at her and offered her a small smile that didn't reach his eyes, letting go of a little sigh of discouragement.

As they were walking on the diner's patio, she felt him stiffening beside her. She winced at that, and pressed his fingers between hers : seeing him that stressed was making her genuinely sad. She just wanted him to be happy. So she approached the door to open it first, and made sure that her parents, who were supposed to watch the kids during the conversation, were already there. She waved at them and smiled, gesturing to Liam and Leia while her kids were running to their grandparents with cries of joy, as always happy to spend time with Mary-Margaret, David and Neal.

Staying outside, she closed the door to find herself alone with Killian on the patio, and she turned to him to stare at his face. He frowned, probably surprised by the fact she'd decided not to walk into the diner right away, but she didn't give him the time to ask any question. With the hand that wasn't holding his, she cupped his jaw and said softy :

"Hey, babe, I know you're worried. But it's gonna be okay. And you'll feel so much better after that."

"I know" he said with a slight smile, and brought her hand to his lips to press a little kiss on her knuckles, what made her shiver in pleasure. "I just don't want to bring all those bad memories back. But I need to talk to them, I need to make them understand that getting rid of the proofs isn't the right decision. It's for their own good. It's just not a conversation that I'm really happy to have with them."

Emma winced at that, feeling his worry to her bones, and wanting to help him. He'd asked her to let him speak with Jasmine, telling her that her presence by his side would already be more than enough for him to feel better. But she wanted to help him the best she could, and she said after a few seconds of silence :

"I know you want to speak to Jasmine yourself, and I get it, but if you feel overwhelmed and you need help, I'm here, okay? You only have to ask and I'll speak to her. I'm here for you. I just don't want you to feel too bad."

His smile widened and his eyes sparkled this time, as he tugged her closer to press a kiss on her lips. She grinned as well, wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her head on his chest, hearing his fast heartbeats. Since she'd come back home, they were definitely unable to stay away from one another. He stroked her back with his fingers, and said so gently her heart fluttered :

"Thanks, Swan. I know how hard it is for you too, because Jasmine made you suffer. You have no clue how amazing I think you are for coming here to support me on this."

"It's normal. I wasn't going to leave you alone to face this." She answered as if it were perfectly obvious, lifting her head up to look at him in the eyes.

He leaned to press a kiss on the tip of her nose, what made her giggle, her arms still tightly wrapped around him. They stayed like this for a little while as she was trying to comfort him, then she pulled away. She offered him a reassuring smile and interlaced their fingers back together to say :

"We should go."

He nodded at that, and the walked side by side toward the door of the diner, making the little bell ring on their way in. She waved at her parents, who were sitting in a booth, and winked at Liam, who was settled on her mother's lap and was staring at them, seeming to guess that something important was happening.

He could sense that his father was feeling a bit down, and was doing everything he could to make him feel better with hugs and kisses and little gifts. Her kids were so adorable she felt her heart swelling about twice its size. But she didn't want Liam to feel worried. What was happening was grown-ups stuffs, and the kids had already suffered too much because of this situation.

She sat down next to her husband in a booth at the back of the diner, and ordered two coffees. She noticed that Killian was looking even more worried now, all his body stiff in expectation, and she playfully nudged his shoulder to make him smile, hoping that her touch would help him relax a bit. She truly hated to see him like that, it was making her so sad, and she wanted to try and reassure him. He turned to her with half a smile on his face, and she mouthed a quiet "It's gonna be okay, babe", right as the front door was opening again and as Aladdin, Jasmine and Salim were entering Granny's.

Killian got even more tensed, if only it was possible. Emma placed her hand on his thigh underneath the table to show her support, and she felt like he was relaxing just a little bit. She glanced at him one more time to make sure he was handling the situation, then lifted her hand up to show the three friends where they were.

She had to admit that she was dreading this moment as well, but she didn't want to show it in front of her husband. He was already so worried, and it would only worsen things. She didn't really want to talk to this woman who had made her suffer so much. But they needed to, they all needed to have a talk with each other, and she knew she would feel better afterwards.

The three people approached them with big steps, looking pretty worried as well. They had called them the same morning to ask them to come to the diner, but they had simply said that they wanted to talk to them, not really telling them the real reason behind this meeting. They were probably wondering what the hell was going on.

Salim threw a threatening glance at Killian before sitting down. One of his eyes was still swollen because of their fight, and he didn't seem that happy to find himself next to his friend. Emma noticed the angry look Jasmine was throwing her way as she was settling in front of them. Her face immediately changed to display a charming expression when she looked at Killian, smiling at Emma's husband. The sheriff turned to Aladdin to see what he was thinking about his wife's behavior, but he didn't seem to be bothered by it at all. They'd probably decided together that Jasmine should behave that way to try and coax Killian, she guessed.

Emma blinked several times to try and ignore the anger that was twisting her guts and making her want to yell. She couldn't let her jealousy get the best of her, not again. She pressed Killian's leg, trying to comfort herself, and she felt his hand taking hers from underneath the table, probably sensing her fear as well. Despite his worry, he was trying to reassure her, to show her that he loved her and no one else.

She felt her anger transforming into dozens of butterflies, that took off inside her stomach at the touch of his skin against hers. After all these years, he still managed to make her fall a bit more in love with him every day. His fingers interlaced with hers, and he gave her the strength to politely smile to the people facing them and ask in a calm tone :

"Do you guys want anything to eat or drink?"

"What about we skip the courtesies?" Jasmine asked aggressively. "I just want to know what the hell we are doing here."

Emma rolled her eyes, annoyed by the rudeness of the woman facing her. She wasn't doubting the fact that she was a good princess for her kingdom, and a pleasant company to the people she liked, but she was starting to get really sick of all these uncalled attacks. She hadn't done anything to her, after all. She then opened her mouth, ready to reply with a cutting remark, but she got interrupted by Killian, who said dryly :

"Bloody hell, Jasmine. I would like for you to stop attacking my wife. She hasn't done anything to deserve this. You have no reason to talk to her like this. I think it's the least you could do to stop yelling at her every time she starts talking. No one ever taught you to be polite in your castle?"

Emma raised her eyebrows at that, surprised, and turned to look at Killian. He was staring at Jasmine, still pressing his wife's hand in his, and was looking like he was about to get very mad. The princess had looked down at the table, obviously embarrassed and a bit ashamed. In any other circumstances, Emma would have kindly stopped Killian from getting angry like that. It was in his habits to try and defend her, but she would always tell him that she could take care of herself and that he didn't have to try and help her. She loved the way he wanted to show his support, but she had always managed on her own and she didn't really need his help on the matter.

But this time, she felt actually quite moved by his intervention. It was the first time he'd taken her side during a fight with Jasmine, and it was proving that he wanted nothing more but to get over all of this and forget about what had happened. He seemed to notice that Emma was looking at him, because he turned to meet her gaze, smiling at her tenderly. They looked at each other for a few seconds, and she ended up turning her attention back to the three friends, feeling surprisingly and suddenly deeply serene.

"Very well, if you want us to go straight to the point, it's your choice." She stated with a little shrug.

"Before we start." Killian intervened, kindly pressing her fingers between his to show that he was ready to lead the conversation. "I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for getting mad like I did the other night, Salim. You are my friend, and I should never have attacked you nor hurt you. But without Emma... Let's say that I'm a bit lost. But now that she's here, I've found my way again, I'm all right. Everything is clear and that's why I want to talk to you."

Emma smiled and had to hold herself back from leaning to kiss is lips as a thank you for his adorable words. She saw Jasmine rolling her eyes at that, but she didn't react to the provocation. None of this was reaching her anymore, not after Killian's wonderful words. Her husband ended up continuing after a brief break :

"All right, then. If we called you here today, it's because we really want to have a conversation with you about something quite important. Emma is the sheriff and I'm directly concerned by your problem. It's our part to make things perfectly clear with you."

"Wait a minute." Jasmine said, frowning and looking sincerely intrigued by Killian's words. "Hook, you told _her_ what was going on?"

"Of course I told her." Killian said, nodding as if it were completely obvious. "I trust Emma more than I trust anyone."

This conversation was definitely going way better than Emma had expected. All these little comments, sentences, were making her heart flutter and she was feeling so happy. She smiled at Killian again, and nodded to encourage him to continue, as he was entering the core of the conversation. He wanted to do it by himself and she could understand that easily. She was just glad to simply be there by his side and to be able to show him that she was supporting him, no matter what.

He took a deep breath before starting to talk again. She knew that he was nervous, because he didn't want to stir up the past, but she could feel that he was gradually relaxing as the conversation was happening. She knew that he could do it. Hell, he could do anything. He was so strong, always. He'd managed to become the best person she knew, he was now a hero, and she was so proud of him. He ended up saying after a few seconds of silence :

"Here's what's going on. Emma and I have talked a lot. And we've realized that things couldn't go on like this. I told you dozens of times that I won't accept your job offer. I don't kill people anymore, I save them, I help them. And I'm proud of it. This poor man I killed because you asked me to is haunting me, now. You can't stay here, for the simple reason that you're disrupting our lives. I can't let this last any longer."

"Wait... You're chasing us away?" Aladdin stuttered, looking surprised and mostly scared.

"Hook, you can't do this!" Jasmine shouted, losing her arrogant expression to look at them with wide eyes. "You can't let us down, you're the last person who can help us! You know what's going to happen in Agrabah when the people will learn about what Aladdin did ! They will chase us from the throne! What happened was an accident, but it's bad! Really bad! No one will forgive us! We need to get rid of the proofs! Aladdin killed someone, for god's sake!"

Emma startled at that, surprised by these information she hadn't expected to hear. Killian had never told her what Aladdin had done to seek his help, and she hadn't tried to know more about it. But now that she knew the truth, she was more than surprised. She had never expected for the situation to be that bad. The young man, who was now looking like he was about to be sick, started to talk again, enlightening her on what had really happened.

"It was an accident." He said in a terrified whimper. "I never wanted to hurt someone. I hate myself for what happened. But this man... He attacked Jasmine to rob her in a dark street. I needed to do something! I couldn't let him hurt her! But I never wanted to kill him it just... happened! And a man looking by his window at the time saw everything. He's threatening us to tell everyone what happened... If the people know what I've done, I'll get chased from the kingdom, from my home, from the people I love!"

"But you were only trying to defend the woman you love!" Emma then said, before biting her bottom lip almost violently, suddenly remembering that Killian had asked her not to intervene and that she'd just broken her promise without even realizing it.

She hadn't thought about her words, she couldn't help herself but assure him that everything would be all right. He had done such a thing to protect someone he loved. He hadn't wanted to kill the thief. He wasn't deserving what was happening to him. She'd been in the exact same position all those years ago, when Cruella had tried to hurt Henry, and she'd killed her on an impulse. Emma glanced at Killian, worried that he was now annoyed by her intervention. But, at her greatest surprise, he simply gave her a kind smile, showing her that she could continue. She nodded and resumed in a lower voice :

"You didn't want to hurt anyone, Aladdin. You know... I've been in the same situation. I've killed a woman who wanted to hurt my son. It's been years now, and I still blame myself for not managing to find another way to protect Henry. But it was unavoidable. I needed to save my son. You put yourself in danger to save someone you love. You didn't have a choice. Your people won't be mad at you if they learn the truth. It only shows how much you love Jasmine."

"You... You think so?" he stuttered.

"That's not all." Killian added once Emma had nodded with a kind smile to comfort the man facing her. "You need to learn how to take responsibilities for your mistakes, the three of you. Getting rid of the proofs isn't the right solution. Go back to Agrabah. Explain to your people what's happened before they learn it from someone else. They will respect you for admitting your mistakes. They will understand. I'm sure of it."

"But... what if it goes wrong?" Jasmine asked in a muffled voice.

It was the first time Emma was seeing her being truly afraid, and she felt like she could finally see the real woman behind this mask of arrogance she was wearing. Tears in her eyes, she was looking terrified. Emma could understand easily : she was afraid that everything would change. She was terrified to lose someone she loved.

She then decided to put aside all the bad things she'd had to go through because of this woman, she chose to forget for a while that she'd tried to charm Killian and that he'd suffered because of her as well. She needed help, it was obvious. She was a hero who had lost her way, who had made mistakes, and she was probably scared of herself. Someone had to support her and make her see the difference between what was right and what was wrong.

So Emma approached her free hand from her, and gently placed it on the woman's forearm. She startled and looked up at her with pure surprise shinning in her eyes. The sheriff didn't give her the time to start asking question and said :

"Hey, if you need me to, I'll be there to help you get through this. If you see that it's going the wrong way, let me now. I'll go to Agrabah with you. I'll try to explain everything to your people. You don't deserve to be blamed for what happened, as it was an accident."

"Wait" Jasmine then said very gently, shaking her head as if she weren't getting something. "After everything I've done to you, you're ready to help me? You don't hate me?"

Emma chuckled at that and turned to Killian to silently ask for his opinion on the matter. She knew he'd wanted to talk alone, but her answer had come spontaneously, she'd just wanted to comfort the young woman. She was scared that he would feel a bit betrayed since she'd promised not to talk, but when she met his gaze, all she read in his eyes was pride. He smiled and pressed her fingers between his to show her it was okay to answer. She turned to Jasmine, who she was still looking at her with wide eyes, to say :

"Let's say that I know we'll never be best friends, you and I. But I can't let my emotions get in the way of helping you. You need us. I'm the Savior, and it's my job to help people in need. And I know that you're a good person. You made mistakes, sure, but it doesn't mean that you're bad. You don't deserve to be chased from the throne, especially since Killian's told be all the good you're doing for your kingdom. Everybody makes mistakes, you just need to learn to take responsibilities for them. And I'm here for you if you need me."

She seemed completely taken aback by Emma's words, and she stared at her as if she was seeing her for the first time. She'd finally realized that she just wanted to help her, and she slowly shook her head. Emma guessed that she was suddenly feeling guilty for trying to charm Killian and break their relationship. She loved Aladdin, it was obvious, and she could see now how much Emma and Killian loved each other.

The animosity she had toward Emma since the beginning was maybe because, now, Killian was a hero and she thought it was because of her. Or maybe she'd thought that Emma wasn't good enough for him. Or perhaps it was simply because he'd pushed her away at the time and he'd decided to marry Emma afterwards. It was only assumptions, sure, but Jasmine ended up starting to talk again to say in a muffled, soft voice :

"I'm so sorry. I was wrong about you, Emma. I should have tried to learn to know you and not be so mean to you, just because I thought you were going to judge us."

"We all make mistakes." Emma said with a little shrug. "It happens."

"Hook." She then continued, turning to Emma's husband, sincerity in her voice. "You're lucky to have found her. She's amazing. I'm sorry I've tried to separate you to get what I wanted. Don't let her go away, okay?"

"Never. I love her too much for that." He answered with a smile before turning to look at his wife.

And, without paying attention to his friends' presence, he learned forward to gently press his lips against Emma's for a tender kiss, concealing a silent promise to never let her down.

* * *

"Swan?"

"Yeah?" She answered a bit absently, holding Leia close to her chest.

As soon as the conversation had been over, the little girl had thrown herself in her mom's arms, had wrapped her arms tight around her neck and had refused to let her go. Her behavior was starting to concern Emma. It wasn't like her to be that cuddly. She guessed that her daughter was afraid that she would go away again, and that was why she wanted to stay with her all the time, to make sure that she was staying. Yet, aside from her strange behavior, she was herself. She was jumping everywhere, all full of energy, and she was even in a better mood than usual, the tantrums she could sometimes throw long gone.

She was sleeping in her mother's arms now, her head resting against Emma's shoulder. The sheriff smiled and leaned to press a light kiss on her little girl's forehead, before turning to look at Liam, who was running after dead leaves a few feet from them, to make sure everything was okay for her baby boy. Finally, she turned to Killian to smile at him and ask him to continue :

"I'm proud of you." He simply stated.

Her smile widened at that, even if she was feeling a bit intrigued by this sudden statement. His words were adorable and were making her so happy, but she had no idea why he was suddenly telling her this. She then answered with a little giggle to ask :

"What's the occasion?"

"You don't know?" He said, shaking his head and looking quite amused by her reaction. "It's because you've been amazing with Jasmine, that's why."

They'd left the diner a few minutes earlier, and were walking home with the kids. It'd been decided that Jasmine, Aladdin and Salim would go back home the next day, to finally admit what they'd done to their people. They'd promised them that if they needed help, they could come back to Storybrooke, and they would find a solution all together.

Jasmine had seemed surprised by her reaction, sure, but Emma wasn't feeling like she'd done anything special. She was the sheriff and the Savior, she was just doing her job to make sure these people would be all right. She then shrugged at her husband and answered.

"Just doing my job, here."

"You've done so much more than your job, love. With what she's done to you, you could have ignored her, yelled at her, because she would have deserved it. But instead, you decided to help her because she needs it."

"As I said, I'm just doing what I have to do." She insisted with a kind smile. "I haven't done anything special. She needed my help, so I gave it to her. It was only fair."

"And you don't even realize how wonderful you are." He said, shaking his head and staring at her in awe. "God, I love you."

He leaned forward to press a quick peck on her lips, making sure he wasn't waking Leia up in the process. She smiled at him as he was pulling away and opened her mouth to tell him that she loved him too, but her cellphone started to ring and interrupted their conversation. He gestured for her to give him their daughter so she could pick the call up, and she gently placed the little girl in her dad's arms, as she was still sound asleep. She then took her phone in her hand and frowned, mumbling to herself.

"Dunno this number..."

She was simply hoping that there wasn't a new crisis somewhere in town. After what had happened to her recently, she just wanted to spend a few quiet days beside her family, doing nothing else than enjoying their presence. A new problem to solve would just be very annoying right now.

"Sheriff Emma Swan, I'm listening." She simply said in her most professional voice.

"Hum, Emma?" A young woman's voice said, and she didn't recognize it right away. "It's Zoey, I hope that I'm not calling in a bad time..."

"Zoey!" Emma said with a big smile, turning to Killian, who placed his hand on the small of her back, happy to see her so smiley. "I'm so happy you called!"

"I was pretty scared to bother you." She admitted with a little laugh, seeming to relax a bit at Emma's enthusiasm.

"I wasn't lying when I told you you could call me anytime." She answered cheerfully. "How are you? Is everything okay back at your foster home? If you have the slightest problem, just tell me and I'll try to make things better, all right?"

"No, everything's good. To be honest, I was hoping that we could Facetime, maybe?" She offered a bit shyly. "I'm on the foster home's phone, and I don't really want everyone to hear what we're saying. I have my own computer, I bought it with the money I earned from my babysittings. And we could see each other..."

"Of course we can do that!" She said, happy to hear this offer. "Listen, I'm not home right now, but I'll get there in ten minutes or so. Can I call you when I'm arrived?"

"Sure, that's great!" She said, and Emma could hear the smile in her voice as she was talking. "I'll be waiting."

"See you in a bit, kiddo." She answered before hanging up.

She placed the phone back in her pocket without managing to stop smiling, and she turned to Killian, who gently stroked her back, Leia still asleep in his arms. He leaned to press a kiss on Emma's temple before saying gently :

"See? She called, you didn't have to worry."

"I'm so happy." Emma admitted with a little sigh. "She was sounding like she was feeling good."

"I think you're making a young lady very happy." He kindly stated.

Leia woke up there, as Emma was about to answer her husband. She looked a bit confused at what she was doing there, then looked around her to ask in a sleepy voice : "Mommy?"

"I'm right here, princess." Emma answered, taking her back in her arms. "I'm not going anywhere. You can go back to sleep."

The little girl smiled, reassured, and she buried her face into her mother's neck and stayed there. Killian smiled at that, and after one last kiss pressed on Emma's lips, he walked a bit faster to go join Liam. Their son started to explain him with a great enthusiasm what his grandparents had told him about the leaves falling in autumn while they were gone. She smiled again at the sight in front of her, and fastened her pace, eager to go talk to Zoey and finally know how she was doing.

* * *

"Hey, kiddo!" Emma said with enthusiasm fifteen minutes later, sitting at her kitchen table, when she saw the teenager's face appear on her computer screen.

Zoey's smile widened even more, and she answered cheerfully, looking in a good mood. Leia was still half asleep on her mother's lap, and the noise of the conversation awakened her. She looked around her with a worried expression, then frowned when she saw Zoey on the screen. Emma smiled at that and said to the teenage girl :

"This is Leia, who hasn't wanted to leave my arms." She said, dropping a kiss to her daughter's head. "Can you say hello to Zoey, princess?"

Leia didn't answer to the request and seemed kind of worried by the screen talking in front of her. She curiously looked at Zoey, but when the teenage girl smiled at her, she buried her face into the crook of Emma's neck, playing shy. That made her laugh as she was saying :

"You have to forgive her, she isn't used to being in contact with screens." She said, gently rubbing her daughter's back to comfort her.

"She looks so much like you." Zoey said, looking tenderized by how adorable Leia was. "You've gone back to your family, then?"

"Almost as soon as we left each other, yeah. Let's say that you reminded me of how happy I was to finally have a family that I love by my side. Thank you so much for that."

"I'm the one who has to thank you." She shrugged with a sheepish smile. "Without you, I'd still probably be on the streets, starving and trying to avoid dangers. You made me understand that something better was awaiting for me. Thank you for everything."

"That was my pleasure, kiddo." Emma answered right as Killian was entering the kitchen, Liam skipping beside him with a big grin on his face.

"Who are you talking to, mommy?" He asked, approaching her and looking at Zoey, his head titled on its side in curiosity.

"That's my friend, Zoey. You wanna say hi, baby?"

"Hi, Zoey!" Liam said, waving at her with the biggest smile on his face. "Do you know why leaves fall from the trees in autumn?"

"All right, then, Liam." Emma gently cut him off as the teenager was laughing from the other side of the screen. "I'm sure Zoey already knows that. If you want me to, I could read more about autumn and leaves falling for your bedtime story, all right?"

"Oh, yeah!" The little boy said, looking so happy by this offer. "Autumn is so cool! Right, Daddy?"

Killian had leaned over Emma's chair to look at the screen more easily, and was looking quite confused by the fact that his wife could talk to someone who was in New York and see her at the same time. He answered a "Yes, little mate" to Liam with a soft smile, then leaned to say to Emma's ear, a curious look on his face.

"Wait, you can hear her like that?"

"Yeah, Killian." Emma gently teased him. "Welcome to the twenty-first century."

"Wait, you don't know how to facetime?" Zoey looked surprised, her eyes widened and her eyebrows raised in question.

"Let's say that Killian isn't really into technology."

"We could say that." her husband admitted with a laugh, before waving at the young girl with a welcoming smile. "It's nice to meet you, Zoey. Emma told me so much about you."

Emma could see the young girl's face enlightening at these words, and she smiled at Killian to quietly thank him for this sentence that seemed to make her so happy. It was true that she'd talked a lot about how this young girl had made her think about her younger self, but it was still nice of him to try and make the teenager happy. Killian started talking almost immediately, looking at Emma with a smile :

"Swan, do you want me to take Leia so you could go to your room and talk to Zoey without being interrupted?"

"That would be great." Emma said with a grin at this wonderful offer. "Thank you so much, babe. Leia, you're gonna stay with daddy for a little while, okay? Mommy is just going upstairs. I promise you I won't leave the house."

She could see the start of a whim coming her way, but the little girl immediately calmed down when Killian took her in his arms. She got up and pressed a quick kiss on Killian's cheek as a thank you for his offer, rubbed Leia's back and affectionately fluffed Liam's hair. Then she took her computer to go upstairs. Once she was sitting cross-legged on her bed, the laptop in front of her, Zoey asked, looking a bit perplexed :

"Am I insane, or is your husband wearing a hook for a left hand?"

Emma burst out laughing so hard she needed a few seconds to finally answer the teenager. She hadn't thought about this small detail and could understand the girl's surprise, and she therefore invented an excuse so she wouldn't start asking herself some very embarrassing questions :

"He lost his hand in an accident years ago and … let's say that it amuses him to pretend he's captain Hook to make the kids laugh.

"Really? He doesn't look like Hook from the cartoon." Zoey said with a teasing smile.

"That's what he's telling me all the time!"

The conversation started on another subject, and they both talked for two hours without running out of words once. Emma was so happy to see the teenager smiling : she wasn't living an easy situation, but she seemed to have regained a bit of hope.

When she had to leave her so she wouldn't leave Killian alone with the kids for too long, she promised to call her very soon. She really wanted to keep in touch with the girl. She was such a wonderful young woman, smart, kind, and she deserved all the happiness in the world, she just hadn't been lucky at the beginning. Since she couldn't offer her a real family, she just wanted to give her someone she could count on. Like a big sister, to give her the hope that, one day, she would get out of there and have a good life. And she really wanted to help this girl, because she would have given anything to have an adult by her side when she was at her place.

* * *

 **There's only two chapters left for this story! I have another one I'm working on, that I'll start posting right after I finished this one! In the next chapter, you'll see Emma and Killian's trip on the Jolly Roger :)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Thanks a lot to Emilee Amethyst, oncer4life11, paupaupi and Alexa for the reviews! :)**

* * *

"Why do you have to go, Mommy?" Leia whimpered, grabbing Emma's leg and almost making her fall over in the process.

She tried to regain her balance, and sighed slightly. Her travel bag on her shoulder, she would have wanted to bring it to the Jolly Roger, but her kids didn't seem to agree with her plan. Yet, Leia had regained her usual behavior since her return from New York, even if she would now accept her mom's hugs with big smiles, but she wouldn't try to follow her wherever she would go anymore. But finally telling the kids they would go away for three days on the ship had been enough for her to start being all cuddly again.

They had let a week pass since the conversation they'd had in the diner, so the kids wouldn't be too disturbed, but they were still looking pretty sad. Meanwhile, Aladdin, Jasmine and Salim had finally gone back to Agrabah, and life had regained its normal course in Storybrooke. Killian and Emma were closer than ever, as if what they'd had to get through to stay together had made them fall in love with each other a little bit more once again.

Emma was so happy to spend a few days with her husband on the ship, lost in the middle of the ocean. Just them, the sea and the sky. But she felt her heart twisting and tears appeared in her eyes when she noticed her kids' sad expressions. She didn't want to hurt them by going away, and she tried to make herself feel better : she would only be gone for three days, and after that, they would all go away for these vacations abroad they'd talked about with Killian.

Emma tried to turn and talk to her daughter to comfort her, but she was still holding her leg and was unbalancing her. Killian seemed to notice the uncomfortable situation his wife was in, because he took the bag from her and said with a smile :

"Let me, Swan. I'll take care of it."

Without giving her the time to protest or even thank him, he offloaded her from the weight of her bag and walked to the ship. Emma could finally turn and kneel in front of Liam and Leia, who were both staring at her with sad pouts on their little faces. She smiled at them, trying to reassure her babies, and gestured for them to come closer to her. They both snuggled in her arms and she kissed both of their foreheads before saying in a very soft voice, trying to erase their looks :

"It's only for a few days, you know. It's really not that long. After that, we won't leave you anymore, Daddy and I."

"You already said that the first time." Liam said reproachfully, crossing his little arms over his chest to show his anger.

"I know, sweetheart, I'm sorry about that. But this time, it's true. We won't leave anymore"

"We can't go too?" Leia said, offering her an adorable pout that almost made her say yes, but she pulled herself together at the last second.

"No, honey. Daddy and I need to be just the two of us for a few days. But it's gonna go by really fast, I promise. And you're going to stay at Grandma and Grandpa's, you'll be able to play with Neal all day! And Henry said he would come to play with you for a few hours. You're going to have so much fun, you'll see."

"Yeah." Henry added, helping his mom in her explanations, squatting next to his siblings. "You'll have a nice time, guys."

"But I wanted to go sail too!" Liam protested, not convinced by these points.

"We'll go together another time." Emma offered. "And tell you what. Daddy and I have a little surprise for you for when we get back. I'm sure you'll like it a lot." She added with a mysterious smile.

"What is it?" Leia asked curiously, looking in such a better mood all of the sudden.

"If I tell you, it's not a surprise anymore." Emma replied with half a smile, meeting Henry's gaze, who also seemed quite amused by this last comment.

Her oldest son had been told about this trip they would take together, and the idea had seemed to please him a lot. They'd already talked about it with Regina to see if she was okay with them taking Henry on a trip for so long, and had promised her that, of course, Henry would spend as much time with her afterwards. She'd accepted right away, telling them that it was a great idea and that she also wanted Henry to discover the world. Emma and Killian had planned to talk about the places they wanted to go to during their weekend on the ship, and Emma knew that this surprise they could look forward to was going to comfort the kids about their departure.

Killian came back on the docks and knelt next to his wife, as the kids were rushing in his arms for one last hug. They stayed for a long time snuggled against him as he was promising them that the time would go by fast and that they didn't have to worry.

Meanwhile, Emma got up to hug her baby brother and her parents, thanking them for the hundredth time to have agreed to take care of the kids while they were gone. She embraced Henry for a long time as well, before leaning one last time to kiss Liam and Leia's heads.

She knew that the goodbyes couldn't really linger, because it would only be harder if they waited for much longer. She had to admit that leaving her babies was a bit hard, even if going away with her husband was making her so happy. So, as soon as Killian had gotten back on his feet, Emma took his hand and looked at him with a smile. They walked to the ship to reach the deck, and Killian approached the helm to get ready for the departure. Emma headed for the handrail and waved at her family as the Jolly Roger was sailing away, until they had all disappeared.

When Storybrooke became no more than a little dot lost in the middle of the morning fog, she heard Killian approaching her from behind. He wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her close to his chest and kissed her neck, what made her tilt her head on its side so he could get a better access to one of her most sensitive spot there.

"Let the adventure begin, Emma Swan." He whispered against her skin.

She giggled at that and turned in his arms to kiss his lips for a long, long time. He was tasting like the coffee he'd had this morning, and she was so happy to be back against him, as if the last weeks were completely erased from their memories.

* * *

"Well, Swan, it looks like you're a natural." Killian said, looking at his wife with an impressed look on his face.

"What can I say." She replied, turning to him, a little smile dancing on her lips. "I've had a good teacher."

It was hot outside. It was October now, and yet, despite the leaves falling from the trees, the weather was surprisingly wonderful. Emma felt like the summer was suddenly back, and she knew they were living the last few sunny days of the year, so she was determined to enjoy it. The sun setting in the sky was reflecting on the ocean, and it looked like the blue immensity was catching fire underneath the Jolly Roger.

Only dressed in a t-shirt and a bikini, Emma was sailing the ship with a focused expression. She knew how to navigate for a long time now, but Killian always seemed impressed by her skills. He came to stand behind her, and she pressed her back against his chest with a smile as his hand was spreading over her stomach, his head on her shoulder.

They first day together had been more than perfect. They'd spent hours simply hugging or kissing each other, as two teenagers knowing their first love. Emma loved those moments with her husband. She simply loved feeling him close, his strong arms making her feel safe and loved and wanted, and the way he was looking at her made her trust the future more than she ever had. They'd had to get through so much to stay together once again, but they'd succeeded. Because their love was so strong, stronger than death itself, and they were both refusing to give up on each other, no matter what happened.

"I always knew there was a little pirate in you, Swan" He said to her ear, repeating those words he'd told her all those years ago, when they'd come back to the past by accident.

She giggled at that, amused by this sentence that was bringing so many memories back to her mind. It seemed so long ago that they'd lived this adventure together. At the time, she would never have dared to imagine they would be where they were right now. She had feelings for him back then, she could admit it now, but she was so scared to get hurt again that she was forcing herself to ignore them. But he'd stayed there by her side, always, he had never given up on her to show her she could trust him. He'd helped her bring her walls down, and they'd built a life, a family together. Them, the two lost orphans who'd thought once upon a time that they would never be happy.

She turned on her heels and kissed the corner of his mouth as a quiet thank you for all those memories, all those moments spent together, and all this happiness. He smiled at that and said, placing his hand on the small of her back :

"What do you say we anchor for today?"

"Would you have something in mind, captain?" She provoked him, an eyebrow raised and a smile on her lips.

He answered with one of those smirks he mastered, and he approached her until his forehead was resting against her own. He then whispered against her lips, with a charming smile that made her shiver in expectation :

"I know you, princess. I know what can make you happy."

She felt her heartbeats fastening in her chest, a new heat burning in her lower stomach, and broke the distance between them to press a bunch of little kisses on his lips. He moved to deepen the kiss, but she messed around and tried to avoid him, what made him groan in a fake frustration. He ended up holding her close to him so she couldn't move anymore, and he finally reached her mouth to kiss her senseless. She buried her face into the crook of his neck for a few seconds, so happy she was feeling like her heart had grown two sizes. She finally started to talk again when his hand began to make its way under her wide t-shirt :

"Maybe we should anchor, babe. I don't want us to sink."

It made him chuckle, and he kissed her neck one last time before pulling away. He kept his left arm wrapped around her waist to keep her close, and said with a serious look :

"All right, love. Watch carefully, because next time, you'll be doing this."

She smiled at that and kissed his cheek, and he let her go to begin his work. She watched the muscles of his arms playing and his focused look, and ran her tongue over her lips, suddenly wanting to take him right there, right now. Knowing it wasn't the time, though, she simply said in a somewhat husky voice :

"Hey, handsome?"

"Aye?" He answered, blushing a little bit at the surname.

"I love you."

"I love you, too, gorgeous."

He finished in barely a few minutes and turned to her to grab her waist and start kissing her on the spot, enjoying the fact they were alone in the middle of the ocean to take her right there, on the desk of his ship, and hearing her cries echoing into the now dark sky.

* * *

"See? That's what Rome looks like." Emma said, showing a huge picture in the book she was holding between her hands.

Settled on the bed of the captain's cabin, she was busy showing her husband a few cities located in Europe so they could choose where to go with the kids. She'd borrowed a book from the library, guessing that they would obviously not have any internet connection in the middle of the ocean.

She was sitting between Killian's legs, leaning against his chest and her head resting on the crook of his neck. It wasn't particularly warm in the cabin, especially since she was only wearing a tight camisole and panties, but Killian's arms wrapped around her waist and his face against hers were enough for her not to be cold.

He was listening carefully to what she was saying, she could feel that he was genuinely interested by what he was discovering that night, and was regularly placing little kisses on her face and neck. It was already late, but she didn't want to fall asleep right away. She just wanted to enjoy these moments with her husband, and the inner peace she was feeling right now was so strong she didn't want it to ever go away.

"It looks beautiful." He commented.

"It is." She said, before adding with a smile, knowing it would make him laugh. "And the food is awesome as well."

"You've already been there?" He asked with a chuckle at her comment.

"No, I've never been out of the US." Emma said with a little shrug, regaining seriousness. "We didn't really have family vacations in the foster system. Believe me or not, I've never even been to Disneyland before!"

"Where?" he asked, looking confused.

"Disneyland." She repeated, amused by his reaction. "You know, these movies Henry and I make you watch all the time? The movie Tangled that we half-saw a few weeks ago? Well, it comes from a company named Disney, and there's an amusement park dedicated to the movies they make. People are dressed as the most famous characters, and they come to take pictures with the kids there. For what I heard, it's pretty awesome"

"You mean that this horrible captain in the movie Peter Pan you forced me to watch is in that bloody place? Is this really the way the people from this world see me?" He groaned in frustration.

She laughed out loud at that, she was always amused by how much he hated the captain from the cartoon. She lifted her hand up to cup his jaw and turned her head to press a kiss on his cheek. He seemed actually outraged by these news, and she whispered to him, half laughing :

"Come on, smile. The most important thing is that your family sees you like the amazing man you really are, right?"

"Aye." He admitted, finally smiling and holding her even closer to him for a few moments.

She continued to turn the pages of the book, explaining to him the cities they were discovering together. She was so happy to find herself against him, and she was still so in love with him that feeling his skin against hers was making butterflies take off in her stomach. She was feeling so lucky to be able to share her life with this wonderful, caring man. As she'd stopped on a page to show him a picture of Paris, he started talking in a soft tone that made a shiver run up her spine.

"Tell me, darling..."

"Yeah?"

"Would you like to, one day, go see this... Disneyland, is that right?"

"Huh?" She asked, turning her face to see him and wondering what he had in mind.

"Well, I was telling myself that it could be a great place to go with the kids. And you could finally see what it looks like, in real life."

"Are you serious?" She asked, feeling more than touched by this offer. "You'd be ready to put your hate for this world's representation of Captain Hook aside, for us?"

"Of course, Swan. I'd do anything for you." He said as if it were absolutely obvious. "You're way more important than a reputation."

Emma blinked several times at that to chase her tears away, deeply moved by his words. She hadn't expected to hear this offer at all, and she had to admit it was pleasing her a lot. She was so sure the kids would be happy to go to the park, and it would be one more adventure to live together with her family. She turned to kiss Killian's lips, trying to show him just how much she liked this idea, and she left her forehead pressed against his for a few more seconds.

"Thanks." She whispered, and he kissed her one more time as an answer.

She stayed snuggled against him for a few seconds, then an idea suddenly crossed her mind. She thought about it for a few seconds, trying to see if it was a good thing or not. She hesitated for a bit before starting to talk again, not knowing if she could actually tell her husband what she had in mind. But she ended up realizing that it couldn't go wrong anyways, that she was just asking for his honest opinion and that she could tell him anything, and she pulled a bit away from him to ask :

"Okay, so I'd like to ask your opinion about something."

"Anything, love." He gently encouraged her.

"Well... Zoey's birthday is in December, and I was thinking about a gift. Now that you told me about the park, I just think that after coming back from Europe, it would be nice to go to New York to say hello to her. And then... Only if you agree, of course... I think it would be such a great gift to take her with us to Florida, so she could come to Disneyland with us. By the end of the trip, it will probably be around Christmas, and we could take her home for a few days, so she could actually spend Christmas's Eve with a real family. Of course, it would ask for a lot of work." She added hastily, seeing that he was remaining quiet, what was worrying her a bit. "I need to get her foster parents to agree with this, and it's probably not gonna be easy. And there would be a lot of changes to make to the town for a few days, so she wouldn't see how surreal this place is. And if you don't agree with me..."

He cut her babbling off, suddenly approaching her to press his lips against hers, making her moan against his mouth. She couldn't understand what he was trying to say to her with this gesture, but she wasn't complaining, and forgot her nervousness for a second to enjoy the embrace. He ended up pulling away from her, and she saw an endless pride shinning in his eyes when he looked back at her.

"What's going on?" She asked, a bit amused by his reaction.

"You're the most amazing woman alive, that's what's going on. You want to offer this girl a family, you want to give her support. I think this is beautiful."

"It's not that exceptional." She countered, feeling herself blush a little bit at his compliments. "I'm just trying to give her what I was wishing for back when I was at her place. You think it's a good idea, then?"

"Of course I do, Swan." he said with so much softness in his voice her heart fluttered in her chest. "I would like to know this girl as well, and I'm sure she' ll get along great with Henry."

She smiled wide at that, more than happy by his answer, and once again fascinated by the fact he was ready to give everything to this girl he didn't even know. He was the one who was amazing, she thought to herself. She placed the book on the floor next to the bed, and moved to kneel between his legs to start and kiss him passionately, her hips already rocking against his body.

It's only much later, as they were laying in each other's arms, that they agreed on the places they would go to with the kids. They would leave Maine to go to London, then Paris, Rome, and finally Madrid. After that, they would go to New York to at least say hi to Zoey, and maybe take her with them if everything was going fine. From there, they would fly to Orlando, where they would spend a few days at Disneyland.

It's rocked by this wonderful plan, and by the kisses Killian was dropping on her hair, that she peacefully fell asleep in his arms.

* * *

"Seriously, Swan?" Killian said, laughing out loud, and Emma got out of the half sleep she was in. "I'm going away for two minutes, and you fall asleep?"

"But I'm tired." She whimpered back in a purposely childlike voice that made him laugh again, as he was sitting down next to her on the deck.

He didn't answer and placed his hand on the small of her back to gently tickle her skin. Emma was laying on her stomach on the ship deck, her head resting on her folded arms. Killian had only gone away for a few minutes to get rid of the leftovers from their lunch, but the surprising heat had almost made her fall asleep there.

She'd taken off her shirt and was only wearing a bikini, what allowed her to enjoy Killian's strokes on her skin even more easily. She ended up rolling on her back to look at him, both her hands resting on her stomach, and she saw him grin with amusement.

"What are you laughing at, Jones?" She asked, falsely threatening. "Don't mock me, because I wouldn't have been that tired if you hadn't had the wonderful idea of waking me up this early to look at the sunrise."

"Because it's my fault, now?" He said, arching en eyebrow at her as if he were actually upset, but she knew he was just messing with her.

"You know it" She replied, stifling a laugh.

She'd been awakened by a bunch of little kisses pressed everywhere on her face as it was still dark outside. He'd dragged her out of bed, not paying attention to any of her protests, so they could look at the sky slowly enlightening with the morning light. She had to admit that this beautiful sight had put them both in quite good moods, and had led to pretty enjoyable activities on the deck itself, but she was now absolutely exhausted.

They'd anchored again to eat, and the sun was high in the sky, the heat as strong as it usually would be in summer. Killian looked at his wife with a gentle smile for a few seconds, before himself laying next to her and take her in his arms. She let him cuddle her for a few minutes, but ended up saying playfully, just to annoy him a bit :

"It's too hot for that."

He defiantly raised an eyebrow at that, and suddenly moved to straddle her, leaning over her with a smirk on his face. He started to kiss her senseless for a few seconds, what made her moan against his mouth, but refused to answer her desire of deepening the kiss even more. His mouth left hers to get lower and lower on her stomach, his tongue dancing on her skin, and she arched her back to get her body even closer to his wonderful lips. He continued his task, but finished his path right above her panties, what made her groan in frustration as she would have wanted him to get even lower.

He looked up at her then, looking pretty proud of himself, and took her hand to help her sit down as he was still kneeling, a leg on each side of her.

"Is it too hot for that too?"

"You're an idiot." She laughed.

She moved to press a quick peck on his lips, what made him smile through the kiss. She still had goosebumps from his improvised kisses. He ended up pulling away from her, and, freed from his embrace, she got up and stretched, what earned her a delighted look from her husband.

She approached the handrail of the ship, and Killian immediately came behind her to wrap his arms around her as she was leaning against the barriers. The water was as blue as Killian's eyes and little waves were coming to crash against the Jolly Roger, forming a white foam before disappearing back into the secrets of the ocean. She grabbed Killian's arms so he would hold her even closer, and asked in a low voice :

"Do you think the water's cold?"

"I don't know, go and test it." He said playfully.

She raised a defiant eyebrow at that, and turned in his arms to look at him. His comment had made her want to dive into the ocean, because, damn, it looked so welcoming, and she said with half a smile that she wanted to be mysterious :

"I might just do it."

He didn't answer right away, probably thinking she was kidding. She took advantage of these short moments to walk on the other side of the guardrail and face the ocean, nothing left to catch her and prevent her form falling now. She heard Killian saying behind her back, sounding a bit worried :

"Hey, Emma, I was joking."

She didn't give him the time to try and hold her back, and she dived head first into the water, knowing all too well she wasn't risking anything, since she could use her magic anytime to get back on the ship. The water was cold after all, much more than she'd imagined it would be, bit it wasn't freezing and she wasn't regretting taking the big leap. She swam back to the surface and chased her drenched hair away from her face with a big smile.

"Swan!" Killian shouted from the deck when he saw her coming back up. "Are you insane? Come back here, you'll get sick!"

"No, I won't!' She laughed at his concern. "Come join me. You'll see, the water's just right!"

Now that she was starting to get used to the temperature, she was a bit less cold, but she wasn't telling the entire truth to her husband, because the water was far form being warm. He shook his head and said, not looking convinced and frowning in concern :

"I doubt that! Come back here! You can't stay in there!"

"Would the captain be afraid of bit of salted water?" She gently scoffed, knowing that this last sentence was most certainly going to make him react.

Indeed, as she'd expected it to happen, he answered her provocation by taking off his shirt in a quick gesture, divulging his tight stomach. He wasn't long to find himself in a swimsuit as well, and he took his hook off to carefully place it on the deck and avoid damaging it. Just before diving, he said defiantly :

"You'll see if I'm afraid!"

He jumped into the water, making sure to splash her in the process. She turned away from him to avoid getting water in her eyes, laughing so loudly she felt like her voice was ringing into the sky. He came back up to the surface after a few seconds, his wet hair falling on his forehead and shivering from the cold, saying as if she'd just betrayed him grandly :

"Are you mocking me? You said it was warm!"

"I didn't say that." She defended herself, finding it hard to keep serious in front of his outraged look. "I said it was just right, and it's just my opinion on the matter."

He shook his head and narrowed his eyes as if he were getting ready for a revenge, before lifting his hand up and lavishly splashing her for messing with him. She laughed at his attack, and they spent a few minutes playing together, trying to get the other drenched, before stopping to catch their breath. He grabbed her waist to pull her close to him, and she said, panting :

"I win."

"You haven't won anything at all, Swan. It's not even fair, I only have one hand."

"Now you're just making excuses." she replied with a giggle.

He pulled her closer then, so he could reach her lips and kiss her senseless for a few long minutes. His wet hair was dripping on her face, and his hand was sliding up and down her back, what made her moan in pleasure because, after all those years spent together, he knew every inch of her skin by heart and knew what places were sensitive, where he had to go to make her sigh or get a cry out of her.

She cupped his butt, running her other hand up to reach his neck, and she felt him shiver underneath her touch, but it had nothing to do with the water temperature anymore. After a long while, she ended up pulling just a little bit away from him to say in a teasing tone :

"At this pace, we'll end up traumatizing a seagull before the end of the weekend."

He stared at her for a few seconds, literally devouring her with his gaze, but he didn't laugh at her joke. He seemed too taken by his lust, the blue of his eyes darkened, and was too focused exploring every visible part of her body, as if it were the very first time he was seeing her.

She didn't push him to say anything, tenderized by the fact he seemed to find her even more attractive with each passing day. Finally, his eyes met hers again, and he said in a husky voice :

"I'm in the presence of an absolute goddess. Who cares about the seagulls."

Then, his hand slid inside her panties and he pressed his mouth against her to stifle her gasp, mix of surprise and immediate pleasure.

* * *

The remaining part of their trip happened just like in a dream. Their hours were punctuated by kisses and hugs, and often more since they were alone and no one could interrupt them. They were more in love than ever, and these three days had been such a wonderful idea. They hadn't found themselves alone for more than a few hours in a row for such a long time, and even if she was missing her kids and her family, she was happy to be with Killian for a bit longer than usual.

The Jolly Roger came back to the docks the evening of the third day, while the town was already half asleep. They were supposed to come back at night, but they'd wanted to surprise the kids and eat dinner with them together. They walked to her parents' loft, as Henry was there too, and they all rushed inside of their arms, so happy to have them back in town.

They shared a meal in their big house, and Killian let her announce the news of the big trip to Europe to Liam and Leia. They were asking after their surprise since they'd come back, and they didn't get disappointed. They both looked very enthusiastic,, and Liam immediately climbed on his mother's lap to ask a thousand questions about where they were going and how it was back there.

She looked at her family then, Henry, who'd grown up to become such a wonderful man, Liam, his eyes shinning with curiosity and his resemblance with his father more and more obvious with every passing day, Leia and her adorable smile, Killian's gaze shinning with pure love for the little family they'd created together. She was loving these people so much. She was so happy to go visit the world with them by her side.

A new adventure was beginning for them.

* * *

 **And there's only the epilogue left, now! It's a very, very long one telling the story of their trip to Europe. See you next week! :)**


	21. Epilogue

**Hello guys! Here's the last chapter of this story! Thanks a lot to EHCFullestFangirl, oncer4life11 and Emilee Amethyst for the reviews! I hope you'll like this! :)**

* * *

"Have a safe flight" Mary-Margaret said, holding her daughter tight against her for a few seconds. "Call us when you arrive, all right?"

"Sure thing, mom." Emma answered, pulling away from her to smile. "Kids, say goodbye to Grandma and Grandpa."

She stood aside to let Liam threw himself into her parents' arms, and turned her head right on time to see that Leia had managed, god knows how, to sneak in between Killian's legs and was now running toward the crowd of travelers walking and rushing each other in the hall of the airport. Emma's heart skipped a beat, knowing that if Leia lost herself in that chaos, the chances of finding her would be pretty small.

She reached to grab the hood of her parka and kindly tugged her closer to her. Killian leaned to take her in his arms so she wouldn't try to escape again, and said, shaking his head at their little girl's curiosity :

"What were you trying to do there, little love?"

"There's a lot of things to see!" She said enthusiastically, wriggling to be able to see something from behind her dad's shoulders.

"Perhaps, but you should say goodbye to your grandparents, now." Emma replied, slightly amused by her daughter's answer, reassured now that she was safe. "You're going to see a lot of things where we're going, but you won't see Grandma and Grandpa for a while."

Killian got Leia back on the ground, careful that she wouldn't try to go and explore this time. She let go of a little giggle and rushed to David to ask for a hug with a big smile.

November was there, and with it, the big day of their departure had arrived. They'd eventually decided that they would spend one week in each city, so they would get to New York right on time for Zoey's birthday. The teenager had no idea of the surprise awaiting for her, and Emma had contacted and made plans with her new foster mom, Evelyn, since she'd changed home after her last fugue.

After a long hour of endless questions on the phone, and an other half an hour on facetime to make sure that Emma was really who she said she was, the woman had agreed that she could take the young girl with her for two weeks. Evelyn was a good person, it was obvious, Emma could feel how much she cared about the kids she was fostering. She just had too much to take care of, so many kids to feed and get to school in time, and she was therefore too busy to spend alone time with each one of them.

She'd however been aware of who Emma was before talking to her. Zoey had told her after she'd arrived at her place back in September. After making sure that staying with Emma was safe, Evelyn had then been happy to fill every paperwork for the sheriff to be the one to take care of Zoey for a couple of weeks, as she knew the young girl would be so happy about this surprise.

Zoey and Emma called each other twice a week, now, and she'd met Emma's family through the computer. She'd told the teenager that her parents were actually her best friends, so she wouldn't think that she was insane given that Mary-Margaret and David were the same age as their daughter. She'd promised Zoey she would keep on calling her while she was abroad, so she could tell her how pretty the cities she was about to visit were.

She actually seemed like she was feeling way better since she'd met Emma, she would smile and laugh more easily, and the sheriff was so happy to have helped a young girl to get a little bit of hope back. At this stage of the game, she was pretty much seeing her as a little sister, and seeing her happier was all that she wanted.

She approached her dad to hug him one last time, then wrapped her arm around Henry's shoulders with a smile. Her parents had walked them to the airport so they could help with the luggage, but they couldn't go any further now. Neal had stayed in Storybrooke, watched by Ashley while they were gone. He'd been pretty disappointed to see them go, and had asked several times why he couldn't come with them. To comfort him, Emma had promised to take a ton of pictures to show him afterwards, she'd even bought a camera for the occasion.

After these last embraces, they finally walked away, waving at Mary-Margaret and David until they couldn't see them anymore. Henry was playing wit Liam while Leia was in Killian's arms, so she wouldn't try to escape one more time.

Emma suddenly noticed that her husband was staring at the prosthesis that had taken the hook's place on his left wrist, and she laughed at his reaction, playfully nudging his shoulder :

"Don't look at it like that, I think you're rocking this look." she said a bit teasingly.

"I can't believe you convinced me to trade my hook for _this_ " He replied, looking almost disgusted by this last statement

"Can you imagine the people's faces if they had seen you walk around with a hook for a hand ? They would have been scared of you. Plus, they would never have let you inside the plane with that kind of thing, they would have probably thought you were a serial killer."

"I hate it." He said with a pout that made her laugh.

"And what if I tell you that I kinda like it?" She said, raising an eyebrow to annoy him.

"You won't make me believe that you don't like the hook." He said, turning to her with a surprised look on his face.

He knew how much she loved this attachment. It was a part of him, and she wouldn't want him any other way. She laughed at that, and she leaned to press a quick kiss on his lips. Then she approached his ear to whisper in a charming tone :

"That's why the hook is hidden in your suitcase, captain."

She could see the tip of his ear turning bright red, as always when he was a bit embarrassed, and he shook his head, looking amused as well. He looked at Leia then, who was wriggling and giving him a hard time so she could see everything that was going on around her in the airport. Their daughter's curiosity was definitely endless.

They quite quickly arrived to the security checkpoint, and, as the good team they were, she helped Liam take off his jacket and his shoes as Killian was doing the same with Leia. She'd explained her husband what he had to expect at the airport so he wouldn't be too surprised, and he was obviously a natural. There was nothing this man couldn't do.

She smiled at him as he was taking his leather jacket off, and he answered by briefly placing his prosthesis on the small of her back. Leia ran through the metal detector with a giggle, but Henry was already waiting for her on the other side, and stopped her so she wouldn't try to go any further. Emma waved at her son as a thank you, while Killian was walking to join them.

As she was about to follow her husband, Liam suddenly grabbed her leg and looked up at her with terrified eyes. A bit worried, she squatted to be on eye-level with him, wondering what was happening to her little boy :

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" She asked, gently rubbing his back to reassure him.

He leaned to reach her ear, as if he didn't want the people around them to hear what he had to say. Looking almost ashamed, he whispered :

"I'm scared."

"You don't need to, baby." She answered with a comforting smile. "Look, Daddy, Henry and Leia are already on the other side, and they are fine." she added, gesturing to their family.

"But what if it rings?" He asked, nervously playing with his fingers.

"It won't, angel. And even if it does, you don't risk anything. I'll stay right there with you, I promise." She answered, before looking up at the man waiting behind them in the line, realizing that they were making everyone wait. "I'm sorry." She then said with a small smile. "It's his first time in an airport."

"It's okay." the man behind her said kindly. "It's normal to be afraid for his first time."

Her smile widened as she was thanking him for his kindness, and she then looked down at her little boy, trying to find an idea to reassure him. Finally, something crossed her mind, and she offered :

"We can cross together if you want. It will be like an adventure. You're the captain, and I'm your first mate. We have to cross a trap, set by our enemies, to go join our people who are held prisoners and save them all. They need us. So what do you think, boss?" She said, and smiled when she saw the fear in Liam's eyes disappear to be replaced by a deep joy.

She knew how to reassure her son, now, and she was aware that making it all look like a game was the best way to comfort him. It seemed to work perfectly once again, and he nodded, before saying enthusiastically.

"Let's go, Mommy!"

She got up and took his hand in hers, and they both walked through the doors, Liam not stopping once and the metal detector staying silent, as she'd planned it would. Once they found themselves on the other side, next to their family, he threw himself in Killian's arms, and turned to her to say with a big smile :

"We did it!"

"It's all thanks to you, captain!" She replied, giving him a high-five and playing along until the very end.

"Well done, love." Killian said to her ear, as she was putting her leather jacket back on.

She smiled at him, and he leaned to press a quick but tender kiss on her cheekbone, making her smile even wider. Once again, Emma turned her head just in time to see Leia running back to the detector, thinking once again that no one was watching her. She reached for her before she could go any further, and took her back in her arms so she wouldn't move anymore.

"The plane is the other way around, princess." She laughed, gently tickling her.

"But that's funny!" She replied, laughing as well and making Killian chuckle.

"You'll see, the plane is even funnier." Emma answered, as they were all walking to the boarding area.

They still had more than an hour before having to board. They then decided to stop at a Starbucks to have breakfast together. Emma looked at her kids laughing together, and she smiled, her hand interlaced with Killian's above the table their were settled in.

She was so happy to get away with her family, far from Storybrooke and all its problem, for a little while. Pretend that they were normal people and not princes and princesses and former pirates with magical powers. She couldn't wait to live all these moments with her loved ones. Like a little girl, she felt a shiver of excitement running up her spine, and crushing her chest. The month that was coming was going to be perfect.

* * *

After a pretty eventful boarding, since they'd had to fight for Leia to stay in their arms as she wanted to see everything and everyone around her, they finally settled inside the plane. Henry and Liam were sitting on the middle row, as Killian, Leia and Emma were on the left side, sitting next to each other.

She'd settled next to the aisle to reassure Liam in case he would be scared by this new experience, but for now, he seemed too curious to see everything that was happening around him to actually worry about take off. The little boy was playing with his security belt, as Henry, headphones around his neck, wasn't listening to his music yet, and was explaining to his baby brother what was going to happen soon.

Emma smiled at them, seeing them so close was making her so happy, and she turned to make sure that Leia, sitting next to the window, wasn't going to try to escape for the tenth time. But the little girl was now calm, and was leaning toward the window to look at the tarmac of the take-off runway. Emma sighed then, finally relaxing, and she leaned in her seat to take Killian's hand in hers.

"Tired already?" He asked, arching an eyebrow, teasing her.

"A bit." She admitted with a smile. "But we have hours in front of us now, I'll be able to rest a bit."

"Only if Leia calms down." he said relevantly, as their little girl had started to move in her seat again, the tarmac no longer interesting for her.

She snorted as an answer, knowing that he was right, right as the little screens in front of their seats were turning on on their own. A flight attendant started to talk in a soft voice, explaining what to do in case of an emergency. Emma could feel Killian tensing up a bit next to her as he was listening, then he leaned to whisper to her ear :

"Is this as dangerous as it seems?"

He was sounding worried. She stroked his hand with her thumb, understanding that it was okay to be a bit afraid since it was the first time he was taking the plane. "Don't worry. She's only saying this to make sure the flight will go smoothly."

"Are you sure?" He was actually looking anxious, now.

"Hey." She said gently. "You trust me, right? I won't ever put you in danger, you know. You and the kids are my everything."

He smiled at that and leaned to press a kiss on her lips and show her just how much he loved her as well. He seemed to relax a bit, then the plane started to move and get ready for take off. Emma glanced at the kids to make sure they were all right, but Henry was calm, and Liam and Leia were looking more curious than actually afraid of what was going on.

Killian didn't say anything, but as the plane began to move faster and faster and they were feeling the runway disappearing underneath them, she felt his hand squeezing hers, and he mumbled in a husky voice:

"Bloody hell..."

Worried by his reaction, she turned to make sure that he was all right. He was sitting completely stiff on his seat, and was breathing way faster than usual, his chest going up and down at the quick pace of his breathing. He seemed ready to jump off his seat, as if a danger was awaiting for them.

Wanting to reassure him, she freed her hand from his, and started to draw little arabesques on his palm with her fingers to calm him down. She was knowing him so well know, and she was aware that this gesture always managed to calm him down when he was afraid or anxious. She then started to talk in a very soft voice :

"Hey, babe... Killian, look at me."

He obeyed, and met her gaze, his eyes widened in fear as if he were on the edge of an anxiety attack. Her heart twisted at seeing him so panicked, and she continued her strokes, wanting nothing more than to reassure him.

"It's gonna be all right. The take-off is the most impressive part of the flight. But we're safe here, I promise. I love you so much, we'll be fine. Just don't look by the window, and you'll be okay. It'll be over soon. Breathe with me, sweetie. In and out. Good, again. In and out."

Emma was deeply regretting the fact she couldn't take him in her arms and hug him to never let him go, because of her seat belt. She continued to talk to him kindly, telling him gentle words and stroking his palm, until the plane was stabilized in the sky.

As soon as she saw the light above her turning off, telling her she could start moving again, she took off her seat belt, lifted the armrest up, and took him against her. She could feel his heart beating fast in his chest as she was holding him so tight.

"See? We're safe, calm down..."

He buried his face into the crook of her neck and, at her touch, she felt after a few minutes that he was finally relaxing. He gently stroked her back and said as her head was resting against his shoulder :

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me, babe. It's okay to be worried, especially since it's your first time." She smiled, happy to see that he was feeling better, and pulling a bit away from him, leaving her arm wrapped around him. "Do you want to look by the window? I promise you the sight is worth it."

He seemed to hesitate a bit. Still holding him, she turned to glance at Liam and make sure that he was okay. Henry had taken off his little brother's seat belt, and the little boy was wriggling to look by the window more easily, looking anything but scared. Emma leaned to watch from above Killian's shoulders and make sure that Leia was okay as well. The toddler turned her head to look at her mom with eyes shinning in excitement

"Pretty!" She simply said, her palm against the window.

She smiled, and their baby girl's reaction seemed to finally convince Killian. He turned to the window, and got still, his lips parted in surprise, looking at the landscape in awe. She smiled even wider, and leaned, one hand resting on his stomach, to look at the sight as well : they were flying above the clouds, and the sky was a beautiful deep blue from up there.

"Beautiful, huh?" She said to her husband, and he turned to her to kiss her head before answering.

"It is, but not nearly as beautiful as you."

She blushed at that, he would never cease to amaze her with his words. "You feeling better?" She asked, changing the subject.

"Aye, I'm all right." he said with a small smile. "Apologize for panicking like that."

"Don't." She said, wanting to reassure him. "It's perfectly normal, I get it. I'm just happy you're feeling good now."

He smiled and dropped a kiss to her forehead, before gesturing for Leia to climb on his lap, which she did with a giggle. Emma pulled away from her husband and leaned to ask Liam how he was doing. He seemed absolutely amazed by what he was living, and he talked to her about the clouds, the sky and the take-off for a few minutes, barely taking the time to catch his breath and too excited to care.

A few hours before landing, they faced a zone of turbulence. Killian had fallen asleep, Leia drowsing in his arms. Emma was watching a cartoon, Liam on her lap, while Henry was listening to music to help him rest. Killian woke up, startling, when the voice of the pilot asked them to tie their seat belt up again, and to not worry.

This time, Liam got a bit scared because of the news, and Emma helped him to sit back down in his seat, his little hand squeezed in hers to reassure him and show him that everything would be okay. She turned to Killian to see how he was doing, since he'd been pretty scared at first. He seemed tense, but he was too busy trying to comfort Leia, who seemed a bit worried for once and was looking at her father with wide eyes, to pay attention to his own fear. Emma took his hand to reassure him anyway, and they managed to get through the experience without panicking too much.

The plane landed at Heathrow airport a few hours later. The sky was grey and the weather cold, but it wasn't raining, so Emma didn't think about complaining. They got out into the freezing wind to go take the underground and arrive in the center of London.

Their big adventure was starting.

* * *

 **London**

"It's so pretty!" Liam said in awe, his face left up to the sky, his eye shinning with pure excitement.

He was staring at the lights of the city, completely fascinated by what was going on around him. Emma shared a happy glance with Killian, so glad to see him, and all her family so happy to be there. They were in London for four days now, and that night, after going to a restaurant for dinner, they'd decided to take a walk in the city.

Everything was enlightened around them, creating such a special atmosphere, as if the citizens were celebrating something. People were walking in every direction, magically never rushing into each other, some of them almost running, some of them walking slowly, everyone different but all immersed in this magical sphere out of the world.

Liam was holding Killian and Emma's hand, standing between them. He didn't seem to be willing to miss one second of what was happening, all these people and these noises so different from what he'd always known in Storybrooke. Henry was taking care of Leia's stroller, as the toddler had fallen asleep a bit earlier despite the noise, exhausted by her day. Emma turned to look at her oldest son and offered with a smile :

"Do you want help, kid?"

"I'm okay." He said with a little shrug, himself looking in awe in front of this beautiful city.

"You sure? You don't want me to take over?"

"Mom, please, I can push a stroller." He said, rolling his eyes in false annoyance.

"Very well, if you behave that way, I won't ever offer you anything anymore." She said, playing along.

He threw her an incensed look, but couldn't help himself but smile because of her teasing, and she wrapped her free arm around his shoulder to briefly hold him close to her.

The few days they'd spent together had been absolutely magical, punctuated by laughter and joy. They were feeling like a normal family for once, and it was doing them good. Killian was getting used to the traditions of this modern world surprisingly easily, he was barely surprised by what he was discovering anymore, and he was looking so glad to spend all this time -with his family.

Seeing the people she loved most in this world so smiley was making Emma so happy, and her heart seemed to grow three sizes each time she would look at her perfect, loving family.

"Mommy?" Liam suddenly started. "Can we have a dog?"

She almost choked on the air, because she certainly hadn't expected that request to get out of her son's mouth. He was looking at her with a perfectly innocent expression, as she was coughing to pull herself together. She had no idea of where this was coming from : Liam had always liked animals, sure, but it was a completely different thing to ask for a dog out of the blue, as if it were the most natural thing in the universe.

"Where did you get this idea from?" she ended up asking, shaking her head in disbelief.

"A lot of people have dogs here, and they're cute. So, can we have one?" He added, blinking a few times and pouting to try and coax her.

"No, Liam, we can't have a dog." She laughed because of his expression.

"But why?" He whined, his pout deepening even more. "You like dogs! You love Pongo!"

"It's not the same when it's someone else's dog." She answered firmly, determined to stay on her position and not yield. "An animal is a lot of work to take care of, you know."

"But I will do it!" He countered. "I'd do anything!"

"You're saying this now, but I'm pretty sure you will change your mind quite quickly."

"Daddy!" He then said, calling Killian, who'd carefully stayed out of the conversation until now. "You'd like a dog, I'm sure of it! Tell Mommy we can get one!"

"Yes, Killian." Emma added, curious to see what side her husband was going to take, because he was looking quite lost. "What are you thinking about all of this?"

He turned to her and arched an eyebrow, lifting his prosthesis up to his head and the tip of his ears turning bright red. He seemed to think for a few seconds, as if he were scared to make her angry, and she stared at him, wondering what he was doing. He ended up looking down at Liam and said with a wince :

"I won't say anything at all, because I won't risk to make your mother mad."

"Oh, right, pretend you're scared of me." Emma said, narrowing her eyes and placing her free hand on her hip in falsely anrgy look.

"Is that a yes?" Liam exclaimed, opening his eyes wide in excitement, and Emma frowned at her husband, because he'd just given their son a false hope.

"It's not a yes at all, little mate, it's a _talk to your mommy about it_."

"Yeah, yeah, stay safe, Jones." Emma groaned. "Walk away from this. I'm the mean one, now"

"I'm not trying to avoid anything!" He defended himself, looking worried about her reaction. "I will support you whatever you decide, I promise."

"Yeah, that's right, try to redeem yourself."

She was mostly messing with him and she wasn't mad, but she had to admit to herself that his way of avoiding the situation was annoying her a little bit. Especially since now, Liam was thinking his dad was agreeing with him, and she didn't want her son to think he'd won while it wasn't the case.

"Stop fighting." Henry intervened, half laughing at their little quarrel. "I have to remind you that there are children around, and that they're listening to you. You're not showing a good example. Come one, kiss and make up" He insisted, and Emma arched an eyebrow at him, a bit amused by this request.

She turned to Killian, who let go of Liam's hand as they were stopping on the sidewalk. He moved to stand in front of her, and took her hand, looking at her in a sheepish way. Even if she was annoyed, she couldn't help herself but smile at how adorable he looked.

"I'm sorry, Swan."

"'S okay, you're forgiven." She said, still smiling at his expression and rolling her eyes because she wasn't able to stay mad at him.

He smiled a bit shyly at her, and she shook her head, grabbing the front of his jacket to tug him closer and kiss his mouth, showing him she wasn't mad at all. His hand came to rest on the small of her back, and her fingers got up to play with his hair as they were forgetting the world around them. They got interrupted by Henry, who coughed and made them part :

"I have to remind you for the second time tonight that there are kids around."

His comment made both her and Killian laugh at the same time. She smiled at her husband to show him that their little quarrel was definitely over, and he grinned back in relief, before leaning to drop a tender kiss on her forehead.

The remaining part of their night happened smoothly, full of laughter and jokes. A little bit more than an hour later, they were back in the apartment they'd rented for the week. The place was quite spacious, and this allowed them to have a bit of privacy, what was definitely a good thing. Liam and Leia were sleeping in a room, Henry had one for himself, and Killian and herself were isolated in their own bedroom as well.

Leia hadn't woken up when they'd put her in her bed, too tired by her eventful day, and Liam hadn't been long to fall asleep either. After saying goodnight to Henry, Emma collapsed on the bed she was sharing with her husband with a sigh of pleasure at the feeling of the soft sheets and the pillows underneath her. Her legs were hurting from walking too much, and she was absolutely exhausted.

"What a day." She said, rolling on her side to look at Killian who, after taking off his shirt, laid bare chest next to her.

"Swan?" He then asked, sounding a bit worried as she was running her hand over her face to try and stay awake.

"Yeah?" She said, frowning at his tone.

"Are you mad for what happened earlier?"

At first surprised, she smiled tenderly to erase his worried look, and gently ran her hand through his dark locks to reassure him. She'd been annoyed, sure, but she hadn't been mad at all. It was forgotten in her mind now, and Liam had already moved on to something else.

"I'm not mad, babe." She said with a giggle, and she saw his face enlightening with relief. "But I wanna ask you something, though : why haven't you agreed with me and told Liam that we couldn't get a dog? Were you scared and trying to avoid an argument?"

"No!" He said, looking completely shocked by her question. "Emma, I can assure you, I haven't done that to make you seem like the bad cop. It's just... I was telling myself maybe it would be a good thing to have a dog after all." He hesitated with a sheepish smile.

"Are you serious?" She said, not really believing what she was hearing. "You actually want a dog?"

She was more than surprised by this sudden statement. He'd never talked to her about this desire, and he'd never seemed to particularly like animals. But he smiled like a little boy, and answered :

"Now that Liam's talked about it, I just told myself that it could make the house even happier. But then I saw your reaction and I could tell that you weren't agreeing with this. I didn't want to contradict you in front of the kids."

"You're worst than a kid, you know that?" She said, shaking her head after a second of silence, amused by his adorable behavior.

"Is that a bad thing?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Of course not, I like you that way." She replied with a little teasing smile.

He smiled as well, and she approached him to press her mouth against his. As she was moving to straddle him and run her fingers through his chest hair, she told herself that he wasn't completely wrong after all. If a dog was all it took to make her son and husband happy, she was ready to pay the price.

* * *

 **Paris**

"Don't count on me to walk into that thing!"

Leia in her arms, Emma took three steps back to join Killian, who'd stopped on the spot when he'd noticed the people in front of them in the line walking into the elevator. She placed herself on the side and gestured to the people standing behind them to keep walking. Henry, holding his baby brother's hand so he wouldn't get lost in the crowd, came to join them, looking at Killian with a worried frown.

They were all standing in front of the elevators, waiting to be led to the top of the Eiffel Tower. As everything had seemed to go perfectly until then, he'd gotten stiff when he'd seen the big machines starting to get up with a crowd of people inside of it. He was looking at the elevator as if they were about to swallow and kill them all, and didn't seem to be willing to walk inside of it.

Emma could understand her husband's fear quite easily, actually. He wasn't used to the modern world, even if he was pretty good at settling in, and some things could be really scary sometimes. She placed her free hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him, but it didn't seem to work as well as she'd wished it would.

"Are you okay, Daddy?" Liam asked, looking a bit concerned as well.

"Hey, babe." Emma started without giving Killian the time to answer their son. "I know it seems scary, but I promise you this is completely safe. And the sight from up high is beautiful, for what I've heard."

He still didn't seem convinced, and she bit the inside of her cheek, thinking about a solution. She wouldn't force him to walk into that thing if he was afraid, that was for sure. For what she'd noticed in planes and the big monuments they'd visited, Killian wasn't a bit fan of heights. So she ended up saying, holding Leia a bit tighter in her arms as she was talking :

"That's okay, we don't really have to go up there. Henry, you wanna go up with your brother? I know you wanted to see the sight. We'll wait for you here, you can take as much time as you want."

"Swan, you wanted to see how it was like, there." Killian objected as the crowd of sightseers were still walking past them. "I'm sure Leia will find it beautiful as well. Don't deprive yourself of this opportunity, I can stay alone for a bit."

"I don't mind!" She countered, not wanting to leave him alone because she thought it was unfair.

"Okay, I'm going with you, then."

"But you don't like heights!" She said looking at him with a worried expression on her face.

"There is no way I'm going to let you miss this just because you don't want me to be alone. And you're a stubborn lass." He said, what made her smile slightly. "I know you won't change your mind. So I'm going with you. I already told you, I'm a survivor."

"And _I'm_ the stubborn one." She said, rolling her eyes, falsely annoyed.

He chuckled at that. He didn't seem that reassured, though, even if he was forcing himself to look confident. Noticing his expression, she smiled at him, and said gently :

"Are you sure? Once you're in there, you can't get out until we're at the top."

"I know." He said, straightening as if to show that he was brave, and she snorted at that. "I'm ready."

He didn't seem willing to change his mind, and she didn't insist, knowing he wouldn't back down now. However, once they found themselves in the big elevator, lost in the middle of the crowd, and the door closed behind them, she could feel her husband tensing up from behind her. She glanced at him with worry, and whispered as Leia was wriggling in her arms, wanting to see the machine going up.

"It's gonna be all right, babe. I promise. You trust me, right?"

"Of course I do, darling." He said without even having to think about it.

Emma smiled slightly at that. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him, his face buried in her hair to breathe her in as she was trying to get as close as possible to him to make him feel better. She could feel the fast pace of his heartbeats through his jacket, and was hoping that he would feel all right soon. Even if he'd insisted to go up with them, she was feeling really sad to see him so panicked.

They reached the top quite quickly, and he let go of a sigh of relief as they were all getting out of the elevator. She smiled at him and gave him Leia, who was asking for her dad's arms, pressing a tender kiss on his lips to comfort him as she was so proud of him for facing his fear like that.

The five of them approached the security fence, and Liam let go of a sound of pure awe when he saw the city, looking so tiny at their feet. She noticed that Killian wasn't that comfortable, and she placed her hand on his back to kindly make him understand that he didn't have to watch if it was scaring him. He smiled at her as an answer and kissed her temple, before placing Leia on the floor, but keeping her little hand in his so she wouldn't escape.

Meanwhile, bringing her camera with her, Emma walked a little bit away from her family to take a few pictures of them. She would almost never ask them to take a pose, capturing the natural moment instead. She'd already taken so many good images during their trip : Liam and Leia running after some squirrels in Hyde Park, Henry, looking so impressed by everything that was going on around him on the Champs Elysée, dozens of pictures of the kids and Killian, who was always looking like he was doing a photoshoot, no matter the moment. She loved to capture these moments, and was already seriously thinking about making a photo album of their time together to show it to Liam and Leia when they would be older.

"Do you realize there's barely a few pictures of you in there?" Killian's voice said to her ear, making her startle a bit.

She'd looked down at the screen of the camera, busy looking at the few pictures she'd just taken, and hadn't heard him coming to join her. Leia next to him, he was looking at the camera from behind her shoulder, and she said with a little shrug :

"It doesn't bother me, believe me."

She'd never really liked being in front of the camera, and, aside from family portraits, she would almost always refuse for someone to take pictures of her. There were a couple of images on which she was during this trip, but she was never alone on it, once holding Liam in her arms, another time because Killian had insisted to have a picture of the both of them.

Killian gave a falsely annoyed look at her answer, and gave her Leia's hand to take the camera. She playfully fluffed her daughter's hair, looking at Killian and wondering what he had in mind.

"What are you doing?" She laughed, seeing that he was carefully looking at the device.

"It's a crime for such a gorgeous woman to never be on any pictures."

"Oh, come on." She said, giggling at his comment. "I'm on some of them. Besides, you don't even know how to use this thing..."

She'd barely had the time to finish her sentence that he'd brought the camera to his face to take a picture of her. She hid her face behind her hand, laughing out loud as he was groaning in frustration :

"Too quick for you, Jones!" She bragged.

"Laugh all you want, Swan, but I'll have your picture taken before the end of the day."

"We'll see." She said, still laughing at him.

He tried several times, but never managed to take a picture of her. She was having so much fun, playing with him like that, and the game lasted for the entire day, as Henry was finding all of this very funny as well.

It's only much later, as the sun was beginning to set in the sky and they were walking on the Champs Elysée, that he finally got what he wanted. She was walking in front of him on the sidewalk, pushing Leia's stroller as Liam was skipping next to his big brother.

"Swan?" Killian called in her back.

"I'm not going to turn, you know, you've already tried this several times." She said, laughter in her voice.

"I love you, sweetheart."

She turned on her heels, surprised by this sudden statement, feeling a big smile appearing on her lips and ready to tell him that she loved him so much too. But she didn't have the time to say anything before a flash blinded her, and he gave her a victorious smile as she was understanding that he'd tricked her. She opened her mouth, outraged, and approached him, pointing at him in a threatening way :

"Hey! That's cheating! That was completely unfair and you know it. Erase this picture, now."

He raised an eyebrow at her, far from being impressed and a smirk still on his lips, annoying her even more. He handed her the camera and showed the screen, saying :

"As you wish, darling, but do you really want me to erase that?"

She gave him an incensed look before looking down at the camera, and she found herself speechless in front of what she was seeing. It was really unusual for Emma to be happy with a picture of herself, but this time, it was different.

The sunset was appearing behind her, the light hooking her blond hair, and she was absolutely glowing. A smile on her lips, her eyes shinning with pure joy, she was looking so happy by his statement her heart skipped a beat. Is that what she was looking like when he was telling her he loved her?

"Okay, you won." She surrendered, shaking her head. "But the trick was mean."

"Oh, Swan." He said, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close to him. "I was only playing along. I really love you so much, you know. Are you mad at me?"

"Nah, that's okay." She finally said, regaining her smile. "I love you, too."

And she put herself on her tiptoe to kiss his lips for a long time in the middle of the avenue.

* * *

 **Rome**

"Okay, guys, this is probably the best thing I've ever eaten in my entire life." Emma said, taking a bite out of the huge pizza that was laying in front of her.

"You're saying this about everything you eat since we've gotten here." Henry gently mocked her, shaking his head, but he was himself looking quite happy to eat in such a good restaurant.

"That's right, Swan." Killian said, gently teasing her. "You've said that about the arancini balls we ate yesterday, and you're probably going to say that about desert tonight."

"We're gonna have a desert?" Liam asked with eyes shinning in expectation, looking up from his meal, suddenly interested.

"Finish your plate first, sweetheart." Emma smiled, helping Leia, who was sitting next to her in a baby chair.

She shared an amused glance with Killian from above the table, her husband looking happy to see that she'd definitely gotten her appetite back for good. She had to admit the town was offering some delicious meals, and she was curious to taste everything. She hadn't really expected that, and she was pretty enthusiastic.

The kids were looking quite happy as well, and with all the miles they walked every day to visit every wonder this wonderful city had to offer, they were often starving at the end of the day, what were allowing them to enjoy the food completely.

"Wanna do it myself!" Leia suddenly said, trying to take the spoon out of her mom's hand.

"Okay, princess, you can try. But if I see that you're putting food everywhere, I'll come back to help you, all right?"

Leia smiled at her mom with a little nod, and Emma leaned to press a kiss on the top of her head, giving her the spoon she wanted so much. Since she'd come back from New York, if she was now the careless little girl she once had been all over again, Leia was accepting her mom's cuddles, and would even ask for hugs sometimes.

Emma was feeling so happy that she'd managed to get closer to her daughter, finally. She loved this little girl beyond words, as she loved Henry and Liam, and she'd had a hard time accepting the distance the toddler had put between them. But now, her little family seemed closer than ever, and she couldn't have been happier.

Emma turned away from Leia to take another bite out of her pizza. She enjoyed the wonderful feeling on her tongue, than looked up to talk to her husband :

"You want some? I wasn't overreacting, you know, it's actually delicious."

He shrugged, looking a bit curious, and planted his fork into a piece to take a bite, accepting the offer. She saw his eyes widening in surprise, and he said, looking impressed :

"Wow, that's different from what we have in Storybrooke!"

He reached forward to take another bite, but she playfully slapped his fingers to stop his movement. He raised an amused eyebrow at her as she was saying, laughter in her voice :

"Hey! I offered you one bite, not half of the thing!"

"Come on." he said, playing along. "You won't ever manage to eat everything."

"Oh, you wanna bet?" She answered, defiantly raising an eyebrow at him. "We walked all day and I'm starving."

"Seriously?" Henry intervened, trying to hide his laugh but failing. "Are you actually spending your lives making bets? What are you, twelve?"

"I have to remind you, my dear, that we're the one paying for your food." She stated, trying to stay perfectly serious. "Since you probably want a desert, if I were you, I would keep quiet."

"Oh, you're threatening me on my food." he said, narrowing his eyes, falsely mad. "That's a low bow, mom. I'm disappointed."

They looked at each other for a few seconds, trying to keep serious, but they ended up bursting out laughing at the same time, unable to stare at each other and not laugh at the same time. Emma was having so much fun, spending all this time with the ones she loved. And their adventure was far from being over.

She loved to see the little ones looking at everything around them in awe, their surroundings so different from what they'd always known in Storybrooke. She loved to see Henry staring at every monument, as if he were trying to etch the images in his memory, and she loved to hear Killian asking her thousands of questions about why this building was there and how it'd gotten there in the first place.

She loved to spend all this time with her family, because she'd dreamed about being surrounded and loved for her entire life without even daring to imagine she would be as happy as she was now. Parents who loved her, three beautiful kids, a husband that she loved so much and that wasn't only her lover, but also her best friend. She was adoring them all so much, they were her everything and she would feel her heart growing two sizes from the pride she would experience every time she would look at them.

She managed to finish her pizza by herself, and smiled teasingly at Killian from above her empty plate to show him she'd won, even if she didn't say anything because she knew Henry would end up kindly mocking her again. The kids asked for desert, and as Henry was carefully looking at the menu to make his choice, Liam turned to his mom with a confused look on his face.

He'd been unusually quiet during the meal, but she'd thought it was because of his exhaustion. But now, she noticed he was actually looking concerned about something. She smiled at him and kindly asked :

"What's wrong, baby?"

"Well, hum..." he wavered, looking a bit embarrassed. "You said that Henry wouldn't have any desert, and you always keep your words."

She frowned at that, wondering where this strange idea was coming from, before finally getting it. He was still so young, and he hadn't understood that they were previously kidding with their words. She got at the same time why he had barely talked for the last hour, and asked, a bit worried :

"Is that why you were so quiet?"

"Yeah." He shrugged as if it were perfectly obvious. "I didn't want to say something bad and be punished."

Emma let go of a little sigh, and glanced at Killian, who was looking as appalled as she was by their son's words. He turned to their little boy and started talking gently to make him understand that they hadn't been serious :

"Liam, it was a joke, you know. We were just kidding with Henry. We're on vacation, and except if you do something really bad, I can assure you you won't be punished."

"Is that true?" The little boy asked, smiling back again.

Emma moved and gestured for him to approach her. He got up and she took him on her lap, dropping a kiss to his hair and holding him close to her. She was feeling a bit guilty for forgetting for a while that Liam was still a bit too young to understand some jokes, and she was feeling bad for scaring him. To reassure him, she whispered :

"Of course, it's true, angel. You can choose whatever you want for desert."

He smiled, looking comforted by this offer, and stayed snuggled in her arms until the waiter brought them their orders. Emma and Killian decided to share a chocolate ice cream with two spoons, and the meal ended in such a good mood, Killian's hand interlaced with hers from above the table, as always when they would face each other.

Later, as the kids were asleep in their beds after the long day, Killian found her curled up on the couch of their room, half asleep. She was wearing leggings and a camisole, and was trying to wait for him to finish his shower before falling asleep, exhausted by her day and the fact that she'd eaten too much to honor her bet. She turned her head when she saw him coming and smiled as he was laughing out loud :

"What are you doing?" He asked, approaching her.

"I ate too much." She just answered, as he was settling on the couch next to her.

She lifted her head up to be able to place it on his lap. He immediately started to play with her hair, what made her groan in pleasure, and he chuckled at that as her eyes were closing slowly because of her exhaustion.

"I told you you wouldn't be able to eat all of that by yourself."

"But I've won." She replied, yawning. "What is my reward, by the way?"

He wriggled his eyebrows as an answer, and leaned to reach her lips and gently kiss them, keeping his hand in her hair. She smiled through the kiss, but grabbed his shirt to tug him closer when he pulled away, whispering against his lips :

"Not so fast, Jones. I think I deserve better that that."

"I thought you were tired." He said, raising an eyebrow at her.

"I'm never tired for that." She murmured, before lifting her head up again to capture his lips in a passionate kiss.

* * *

 **Madrid**

"Did you have fun, princess?" Emma asked, lifting Leia up and wrapping her in bath towel so she wouldn't get cold.

"Yeah!" She shouted, her blond hair drenched and shivering a little.

Emma took her in her arms and rubbed her shoulders to warm the little girl up, what made her giggle out loud. She came to snuggle against her mom's chest, a big grin on her face. Emma cuddled her for a few minutes, enjoying this quiet moment with her daughter. She was looking so happy to be there, and her good mood was contagious.

They were all in an aquatic park since the start of the afternoon, built inside to protect them from the cold wind blowing outside. Everyone seemed to be having a great time. She'd stayed with Leia and had gone with her to the kids pool to play with her, while the three boys had gone to try the big slides.

Emma didn't really feel like swimming anyway, so she was so happy to have spent the afternoon with her baby girl, sharing laughter with the toddler as it was one of the first time she was entering a real pool. Even if they would go to the sea quite often, she'd only dipped her feet into the ocean, and she obviously seemed to like the water as much as her father did.

Emma looked up right on time to see her three boys getting out of the pool, drenched from head to toes and big smiles on their faces. Leia let go of a little cry of joy and got up to go greet her dad, while Emma was approaching her sons to ask :

"How was it?"

"Awesome!" Liam said, as she was also wrapping a towel around him to warm him up. "Henry did some really scary slides, but I'm still too small to go."

"And you didn't even go into the water." Henry said, gesturing to his mom and referring to the fact that, despite her bikini, she was almost completely dry.

"I did go." She defended herself, laughing. "The depth of the kids pool just reaches my knees, that's all."

"And now, you're just searching for excuses." He said teasingly. "I'm sure the truth is you just didn't want to go."

"We're going to change this right away." She heard Killian's familiar voice saying behind her back.

Before she could react, he suddenly wrapped both his arms around her and pressed his chest against her back. She groaned when she felt the cold water touching her skin, and said, wriggling to try and free herself from her husband's grip.

"Stop it, you're wet!"

"You didn't come here to stay out of the water, Swan." He said, still holding her close and laughter in his voice.

"No, I came to spend a good time with my family. If I can stay out of the water, it's even better for me." She replied, still wriggling.

"Daddy! Put Mommy into the water!" Liam then shouted, bouncing up and down in excitement.

She turned her head to meet Killian's gaze, and narrowed her eyes as he was still holding her close, trying to seem threatening. He only laughed, and she said in a low voice :

"Don't you dare..."

"Who wants me to put Mommy into the water?" He cut her off, laughing.

Both Henry and Liam raised their hands, as Leia was staring at them with wide eyes, still too young to really understand what was happening. Killian dropped a kiss to the top of his wife's head, and said, chuckling :

"Sorry, Swan. The majority prevails."

Before she could say anything, he had lifted her up from the ground, both his arms wrapped around her waist. She tried to free herself again, half laughing because she wasn't actually mad and was just messing around, but it didn't seem to be able to unbalance him. She wasn't heavy, that was the least we could say, he was strong and was carrying her as if she weren't weighting anything.

She couldn't help but let go of a giggle when she heard Killian and her kids' laugh in her back. When he arrived near the edge of the pool, Killian got still for a second. She stopped moving and turned her head to look at him, wondering if he was actually going to put her into the water. He smirked at her, placed a quick peck on her lips and stated :

"I love you, Swan."

And on that note, he threw her in the pool. The temperature was pretty pleasant, and she had braced herself for the shock, she therefore didn't take long to go back to the surface, completely drenched, now. Trying to hide her laughter, because she was definitely finding all of this really funny, she climbed back on the edge of the pool and said, placing a finger on Killian's chest.

"You're going to pay for this, Jones."

She turned to face the pool, and he also moved to face her, a big smile on his lips as he knew that she was messing with him and was finding that hilarious as well. She immediately saw a possibility of revenge there, but didn't say anything, and continued to stare at him, falsely threatening.

"And what are you going to do to me?" He gently mocked her.

"Revenge is a dish best served cold. Don't forget that we do sleep in the same bed."

"How could I forget that?" He said with a charming look, but she managed to stay serious and not giggle at him. "Okay, I deserve this. But don't be too hard on me, promise?"

She laughed at that and wrapped her arms around his neck, unbalancing him a bit. She started to talk in a low voice to distract him, and he didn't seem to notice that she was slowly guiding them toward the edge of the pool, too busy staring at her like she was the sun itself.

"You know that I would never do something to hurt you. I'm not completely insane, and I care about you. But you deserve some kind of revenge, so expect something..."

She stopped talking right as his heels met the edge of the pool. She smirked and raised an eyebrow, as he was realizing a second too late what she had in mind. Without giving him the time to do anything to escape her plan, she placed both her hands on his chest, whispered "I love you, too" to mirror his previous words, and sent him into the water in a big splash.

He got back to the surface a few seconds later, looking at her with an outraged look as she was laughing so hard she had to bend a little. Henry came to give her an impressed high-five, and Killian narrowed his eyes at her, saying :

"That was a low bow, Swan!"

She offered him a charming smile, and dived as well to go join him, the kids staring at them and still laughing. She approached him quickly, and wrapped her arms around him to keep steady. He lost his falsely mad look to smile at her, and she said, giggling :

"You deserved this. We're even now?"

"We're even." He nodded.

And, as if to show her just how much he loved her, he approached her to kiss her lips.

* * *

 **New York**

"I so hope Zoey is going to be happy about us coming." Emma sighed a bit absently.

"Are you kidding, Swan?" Killian answered with a comforting smile. "Of course, she'll be more than happy. You're including her in our family, and it's probably what she's hoped for her entire life. She's going to be the happiest teenager, I'm telling you."

Emma smiled at her husband to thank him for his comforting words. They were all in the plane to New York, and she'd facetimed Zoey just before taking off. The teenager thought that they were going back to Storybrooke, and wasn't excepting them to come see her. The sheriff was feeling a bit anxious concerning the young girl's reaction, though. She was scared that this big gesture was actually a bit much, but Killian managed to calm her down, as always.

Their trip was coming to an end, and it'd been absolutely perfect. These moments spent with her family had been magical, discovering the world with the people she loved most in this world had been such a wonderful experience, and she knew deep down that these moments were only the beginning of their adventures as a family.

She turned in her seat to look at Henry, who was reading a story to Leia, as the little girl was listening to her big brother with wide eyes, amazed. Liam had fallen asleep in Emma's arms, and Killian seemed to be used to flying, now, because he didn't seem anxious at all anymore.

The landing was going to happen in only a few moments, but she lifted the armrest between hers and Killian's seat anyway to rest her head against her husband's shoulder. He smiled at that, kissed her temple, and wrapped his arm around her shoulder to keep her steady.

The movement woke Liam up, and he straightened on Emma's lap, looking all around him with a sleepy expression that made both his parents smile. Emma rubbed his back to help him wake up as he was saying in a slurred speech :

"Are we there yet? Are we going to see Zoey?"

Emma felt her smile widening at that. Zoey had always been so nice to Liam, and the little boy would always want to talk to her for a few minutes when Emma would call her. She knew he was therefore very excited to see her for real. She playfully fluffed his hair and answered :

"Not yet, sweetheart. You need to be patient for a little while. But we're almost there."

He smiled, obviously happy, and snuggled against her chest again, falling half-asleep almost immediately. As she'd expected it, the take off started only a few minutes later, and in a short time, they were back on the ground. They'd planned to spend the night in New York – another surprise they'd planned for Zoey, since they were going to spend the evening watching one of Broadway's famous musical – and they hurried to get their luggage back, wanting to arrived as fast as possible at Zoey's foster home.

Killian noticed how nervous his wife was as they were walking on the sidewalks. She was holding Liam's hand, as Henry was pushing Leia's stroller through the busy streets of the city. She could feel her heart pounding so fast in her chest, afraid that the teenager wouldn't like this idea that she'd had.

She didn't want her to feel forced to do anything to please Emma, and she was scared that it was too big of a gesture and that the girl would feel a bit scared. Killian met her gaze and smiled at her, before interlacing his fingers with her free hand to show his support. She immediately relaxed at his touch, and let go of a little sigh, trying to pull herself together.

After waiting for a couple of seconds in front of the foster home's door, a fifty-year-old woman with brown hair came to open with a kind smile. Emma immediately recognized Zoey's foster mom, and grinned back a bit shyly. Evelyn seemed a bit tired, but warmly shook hers, Killian's and Henry's hand :

"It's really nice to finally meet you, Emma." She said, before adding to Killian and Henry. "I'm Evelyn. Zoey talks about all of you all the time."

She gestured for them to follow her inside the huge living room, and Liam looked all around him, eyes shinning with curiosity, as Killian was taking Leia in his arms, leaving the stroller in the hallway. The kids weren't at home yet, they were all in school for now, and the house was quiet as Evelyn was telling them to sit on the big sofa, offering them a cup of coffee before signing all the necessary papers so Emma could take care of Zoey for the two weeks to come. Liam and Leia walked away to go play with the toys in the living room, as Killian and Henry were staying next to Emma while she was signing what seemed like tons and tons of papers.

"For what I understood, you're coming from the system as well, right?" Evelyn suddenly asked.

"I do." She nodded with a shy smile. "Zoey's story reminded me of my own in a certain way."

"She's such a wonderful girl, you know." She said with a little sigh, and Emma titled her head on its side, listening carefully. "She's smart, polite, she just hasn't been lucky. She changed foster home to come here after her last fugue, and I can see that she only wants to be loved. I feel bad, because I can't really spend alone time with her. You see, ten kids are living in here, most of them are between six and twelve. Zoey is the oldest. I just don't have time..."

"I get it." Emma answered with a comforting smile. "You just want the kids to be happy, it's the most important. I was in some foster homes that treated me like I was nothing. I've been abused and neglected. You're offering a safe place for these kids, you really care, and that's a really great thing."

"Since you've come into her life, she's feeling so much better." She then stated warmly. "I didn't know her before, but I've been warned that she could try to run away again. Now, she's stopped this, she's working much better at school, she's smiling a lot, what she was not doing much before, for what I've been told. I think you've given her hope, and I just wanted to thank you for that."

"I'm the one who has to thank you." Emma answered, touched by her words. "You're trusting me to take care of her, and I'm so grateful about that. Zoey means a lot to me, she's like a little sister, and I just wanted to make her a part of my family for a few days."

"And she's going to be so happy about it." Evelyn said as the front door was opening again.

Emma heard several children's voices starting to talk as they were entering the hall, and felt the nervousness taking its place back in her chest. Evelyn got up to get out of the living room. She talked a little bit to the kids before saying :

"Zoey? Don't get up in your room right away, a surprise is awaiting for you in the living room."

"What kind of surprise?" Zoey said, sounding a bit worried.

"You'll see." Evelyn answered, a smile in her voice.

Emma got back up to greet the teenager, imitated by Henry and Killian, as he was gesturing for Leia and Liam to come back next to them. He winked at them and placed a finger on his mouth to show them they had to be quiet. Emma rubbed her hands nervously on her jeans, and Killian placed his fingers on the small of her back to comfort her.

"It's gonna be fine." he said to her ear, and, again, it managed to relax her a bit.

Evelyn gestured for Zoey to follow her, and the young girl arrived to the living room without noticing the family immediately because of the fact she was staring at her foster mom with an eyebrow raised in question. But she ended up turning her head to them, and her eyes widened in surprise. Her gaze went back and forth between Evelyn and the five of them, before settling on Emma. She let her backpack fall on the floor and rushed to her to throw herself into her friend's arms.

"Emma!" She exclaimed, as the sheriff was laughing because of the young girl's enthusiasm.

"How are you doing, kiddo?" Emma replied as she was pulling away from her and looking at her with wide eyes, as if she couldn't believe this was really happening to her.

"But... What are you doing here?" She asked, shaking her head slowly. "I thought you'd said you were going back home".

"We've come to wish you a happy birthday." She explained with a big smile. "Before telling you what I have to say, maybe I can introduce you to my family." She continued, pulling a little bit away from her.

Killian immediately hugged the teenager in a paternal gesture, he'd talked with Zoey more than once thanks to the computer, and Emma smiled at him as Zoey was grinning because of the gesture. She then approached the kids, as Liam, who'd seemed so happy to see her, was now looking all shy and embarrassed. Emma laughed seeing his sheepish look, and she fluffed his hair to comfort him, before turning to the young girl to say :

"We didn't come here just to say hello." She stated, glancing at Killian, who gave her an encouraging smile. "The truth is, we have a few surprises for you for your birthday."

"What are you talking about?" Zoey said, looking a bit taken aback.

After taking a deep breath, she started to explain their plan : the show on Broadway, Disneyland, Christmas Eve in Storybrooke. Zoey's eyes widened as she was going on and on, and seeing that she wasn't reacting, Emma added with a bit of anxiety ;

"Of course, you don't have to agree with this. It's your choice to come or stay. If you think it's too much, we'll get it and..."

"Are you kidding?" She cut her off in a high-pitched voice. "Jeez, thank you so much! It's just... No one ever did something like that for me before."

On that note, she hugged her once again, and Emma let go of a little sigh of relief, so happy that the surprise was pleasing her. She stayed a few more seconds hugging her friendl, who didn't seem like she wanted to let her go, than offered with a smile :

"Do you want me to help you pack? I could tell you exactly everything that's planned for the weeks to come, then."

"Sure! She said, still close to her and her eyes shinning with unshed tears. "God, Emma, I can't believe you're doing all of this for me..."

"It's nothing, really;" She interrupted her so she wouldn't feel uncomfortable. "It's our pleasure to welcome you home. Come on, let's go. A beautiful show is awaiting for us tonight."

And on these words, she nodded and led her to the staircase. She took the time to share a glance with Killian, who was smiling and looking so happy by the girl's reaction. She'd just made the teenager really happy, and she was so glad about it.

* * *

 **Disneyland**

"Mommy! Daddy! Can we go take a picture!" Liam shouted, looking overexcited and bouncing up and down.

"You can go, sweetheart." Emma answered, placing a hand on his shoulder to encourage him. "Just keep your sister's hand in yours, all right?"

He nodded enthusiastically, and the little ones took a few steps to get into the line of kids waiting to take a picture with one of the famous mascot of the park. Emma followed them close with Killian so she wouldn't risk them getting lost in the crowd, and she wrapped her arms around her husband, resting her head on his shoulder with a big smile.

They were in the park for two days now, and Emma was feeling like a kid all over again, amazed by all that was going on around her. Everything was absolutely perfect. Zoey seemed to be so happy to be with them, and she couldn't stop laughing and smiling, what was making Emma so glad.

She'd thanked them at least a dozen times, and they'd had to threaten her to take away her desert if she was going on like that, making sure that Liam wasn't nearby to not worry him this time. She was getting along amazingly with everyone, Killian was behaving as if she'd always been a part of the family, and she'd been included with an amazing easiness, as if she'd been there all along.

"It really looks like they're siblings." Killian said, gesturing toward Zoey and Henry, coming back from a roller coaster and approaching them quickly.

Her oldest son was trying to tickle the young girl, who was avoiding his tries, laughing out loud. He ended up wrapping his arm around her shoulders and fluffing her hair without paying attention to her cries of protest. He was actually behaving like a big brother with her, and if she was pretending to be annoyed with it, Emma could see that she was actually so happy to be included in this family.

The two teenagers finally joined them, cheeks flushed because of the adrenalin and the excitement. Emma pulled a little bit away from Killian, keeping his hand in hers to ask with a smile :

"So, how was it?"

"Awesome!" Zoey said enthusiastically. "I've never done such a thing before, and this roller coaster was the best way to start!"

"Mommy!" Liam said, tugging on his Mom's sweater with a little pout. "I wanna do it too!"

"You're still a bit too young, little mate." Killian said, taking him in his arms to comfort him. "But when you're older, I promise I'll take you to do it"

Liam seemed a bit disappointed and sighed, wrapping his arms around his dad's neck. Leia, seeing his brother snuggled against her father, gestured for Emma to take her. She lifted the little girl up, kissing her hair as she was smiling up at her mom.

She loved these moments with her family so damn much. She wanted to keep them in her memories forever, because she was happier than she would ever have imagined it possible. She was looking at Henry, who was trying to convince Killian to go into the roller coaster with him, when a voice made her turn on her heels.

"Is it for a family picture?"

It was the man standing next to the mascot that had asked the question, and she shared a glance with Killian to ask for his opinion. The picture was supposed to be for the kids, but it couldn't hurt for them to all be on it. It would make a wonderful souvenir.

"Why not, it'd be a good idea." Killian said, understanding her thoughts without her having to say anything.

He placed Liam back on the ground, and their son rushed to the mascot with a big grin. Leia wriggled for Emma to place her on the floor as well, and she joined her brother joyfully. She was about to follow Henry, when Zoey's voice rang behind her, sounding a bit worried and embarrassed :

"A family picture? I don't think I should..."

"Nope." Emma cut her off, laughing quietly as the girl had turned bright red. "Don't you dare protest. You're part of this family now."

And without giving her the time to say something else, she wrapped her arm around her shoulders and took her to go join her family. Killian was on the other side of the mascot, his arm around Henry's neck, and Emma saw the man who'd talked to them in the first place smile because of how close they all looked.

After the picture was taken and Liam and Leia played for a couple of seconds with the mascot, they walked away to continue exploring the park. Emma naturally left her arm wrapped around Zoey's shoulder, as the teenager was keeping quiet for a few seconds. She ended up starting to talk again, sounding a bit shy :

"Hey, Emma?"

"Yeah?" She asked, turning to face her and wondering what she was thinking about.

"Thank you..."

"No!" She said out loud, laughing. "What did we talk about? Killian, babe, come here!" She added, calling her husband, that came to join them right away, Leia in his arms. "We have a young lady who doesn't want to listen to us when we tell her to stop thanking us. What do we do about that?"

"We do as we said." He said, trying to look serious but failing. "No desert tonight."

"I'm being serious!" Zoey protested, laughing as well. "Thanks for showing me what a real family is..."

"You're going to be happy." Emma assured her with a small smile. "I know it. You deserve it."

She didn't answer anything, but her smile reached her shinning eyes, and she wrapped both her arms around Emma for a hug. She kept her close for a few seconds before pulling away from her, and Emma wiped off a tear that was sliding down her cheek :

"Come on, we're here to have fun, aren't we?" She said cheerfully so Zoey wouldn't feel uncomfortable.

She nodded and completely pulled away with a last smile to go join Henry and Liam, who were walking a few steps ahead of them. The latter rushed to the teenager with a big smile and asked her to take him in her arms. The little boy really liked the young girl's company, as she was always so nice with him. Killian wrapped his left arm around his wife's waist, and tugged her closer to kiss her temple.

"I think you've made a young girl really happy, Swan."

"Nothing would have been possible without you." She replied, turning in his arms to face him. "Thanks for supporting me on this."

"No need to thank me, darling." He assured gently. "I'm really happy to show her that she's going to be happy some day. I just wish I would have been able to do that with you when you needed it."

"You're here now." She smiled, deeply touched by his words. "that's all that matters."

He grinned at that, and she wondered what she'd done that was so good to deserve such a perfect family. Then he leaned forward to press a kiss on her lips, and she melt into it, so in love with this wonderful man.

* * *

 **Zoey**

"Can we go open the gifts now? Come on, Mommy!" Liam begged, pouting at Emma to coax her.

They were all sitting at the breakfast table, and her son was asking to go see what was under the Christmas tree since he'd opened his eyes. That made her laugh, and she shared a glance with Killian as she was thinking they'd made the kids wait enough. He grinned at her, understanding her thoughts, and answered their son :

"You can go."

Their little boy quite literally jumped off his chair to rush to the tree in the living room, what made both his parents laugh out loud. Henry got up as well, and got his sister out of her baby chair, placing her on the floor as she was toddling off after her brother. Zoey smiled at that and joined them as well, leaving both her and Killian alone in the kitchen.

She stroked Killian's hand from above the table, and he smiled tenderly at her. They'd gotten back from their vacation only a few days earlier, and everything was perfect between them. Of course, it was a bit weird to come back to a normal life – as much as it could be in this town, anyway – but their holidays were extended by Zoey's presence in their house.

She was sleeping in the guest room, and her being there was asking for a lot of precautions, since they needed to hide the magic in town. But they were doing well, she had to admit it. Every citizen had been warned and asked not to talk about anything surreal, and not a single strange thing had happened since they'd come back.

"Let's go see their reactions." Killian said with a smile, tugging her close and holding her hand as she was getting off her seat.

She grinned as well and followed him to the living room, where the four kids were sitting on the ground in front of what seemed like a ton of presents. Liam was shaking a box with a big smile to try and guess what was inside it, Henry was looking at some of the books he'd received in one of his boxes, and Zoey was helping Leia opening her presents, as the little girl was still a bit too young to really be able to do it by herself.

Emma smiled again and wrapped her arms around Killian to pull him closer to her. She was so happy. They'd spent Christmas Eve at her parents', telling Zoey that they were Emma's best friends, and she'd been included in their little group right away. There had only been one little accident, when Leia had called Mary-Margaret Grandma. They'd explained the kids that they were playing a game so they couldn't talk about magic or anything, but the toddler was still too young to really get all of that. Emma'd had to invent something on the moment, telling Zoey that it was the name she was giving Mary-Margaret as a joke, and that Leia had probably repeated it to imitate her mom.

She wasn't comfortable with lying to the girl, but if it was the price to pay for her to be happy, than so be it. She couldn't really talk about magic and villains and savior and fairy tales. The excuse had been received with laughter, and seeing the smiles her parents were trying to hide for the rest of the night, Emma was sure this story would be told a lot at future family meetings.

Emma looked at the kids having fun for a little while, before noticing that Zoey wasn't opening her own presents. She'd expected that to happen, since they hadn't let Zoey know that they had other surprises for her, and Emma held back a smile. She pulled just a little bit away from Killian, but kept her arms wrapped around him, and said :

"Zoey? There are gifts for you too."

"What?" She asked, turning to face her friends with her eyes wide open. "Are you kidding?"

"Not at all." Emma laughed, glancing at Killian to see him smiling as well.

"But... no!" She said, shaking her head in disbelief. "You've already done so much for me, I..."

"It's too late anyways." Killian interrupted her, shrugging. "You might as well discover what's there for you."

She shook her head again, looking absolutely amazed, and started to go through the pile of gifts with Henry's help. Emma could guess that she wasn't used to that kind of treatment, and it was making her so happy to give her what she really deserved.

Her and Killian had talked for hours to agree on something to give her – it was more complicated for her, since they weren't legally fostering her – and they'd decided not to pay attention to the money they had to use, since they could get all the money they wanted thanks to magic. They just wanted to offer her what she deserved, and if the love and inclusion in their family was something that couldn't be bought and was worth more than anything, there was something important to the girl they could offer her.

Henry ended up finding the two envelops that had Zoey's name written on it. She frowned at that, looking a bit surprised, and opened the first one. She read the inscriptions on the tickets she was holding in her hands, and Emma saw her lips parting in surprise.

"Oh my god!" She muttered, immediately coming to hold Killian and Emma against her, holding he precious tickets in her hand. "Are you serious? Thank you so much!"

Emma laughed at her reaction, and glanced at Killian with a big smile. They'd just offered her two tickets to go see her favorite rock band in concert, as they were coming to New York for the summer break. She obviously seemed to like this idea a lot.

"Do you like it?" Emma asked, and Zoey just nodded, completely in awe. "Do you already know who's going to come with you?"

"Would you come?" She asked without really thinking, and Emma needed a few seconds to process the words because of her surprise. "Well, If you can of course. I know you're busy, and..."

"I'll make sure I can go." Emma cut her off with a big smile. "I'll be there, I promise."

A wide grin appeared on Zoey's face, and Emma glanced from behind the teenager's shoulder to look at Henry. He was kindly smiling, seeming sincerely glad to see the young girl so happy. The sheriff and her husband had talked with him about all of this and the gifts they wanted to offer Zoey. He'd received the same amount of thing for Christmas, of course, but the surprise that was coming for the young girl was a big one. Emma had wanted to assure her son that they would do the same thing for him in a heartbeat if he ever needed it someday. He'd accepted their idea as if it'd been completely natural, and Emma was feeling so proud of her son.

"Open the second one." Killian encouraged her.

She really carefully placed the tickets back in the envelops as if they were the most precious thing she'd ever seen, and took the second one with a somewhat shaky hand. She got a pile of papers out of it, and Emma could see how confused she was about it. It was the reaction she'd expected to see, and her heart started to pound in her chest, wondering how she was going to react when she'd learn the truth.

"As you can see, you're holding in your hands brochures from NYU. We know that you want to become a surgeon, and after talking a lot about it, Killian and I have decided to help you so you can go to college. We know you're going to get a scholarship, but we'll help you with the rest of the expenses. We want to help you live your dream."

Her lips parted in surprise again, and she looked back between her and Killian, looking a bit stunned by what was happening. She didn't seem to realize right away what this meant, and the time seemed to stop for a couple of seconds in the room. Then she quite literally jumped in their arms to hold them close to her.

"You're both completely insane." She mumbled without seeming to believe what was happening to her.

"We're not, Zoey." Killian said, pulling away to look at her and smiling at her reaction. "We just believe in you, and we know the world needs a surgeon like you."

"But... why? Why are you doing all of this for me?" She asked as Emma could see tears appearing in her eyes.

"Because you deserve your chance, Zoey." Emma then answered, a bit moved as well. "Because you deserve the same chance as Henry, Liam or Leia. Because the fact your life hasn't started well doesn't mean that it has to keep going that way. I know you can succeed, kiddo. I'm convinced of this. We're just helping you a bit."

A tear ran down Zoey's cheek, and she held Emma even closer. This embrace meant all the thank you in the world, because she could understand what she was trying to say through it. Emma wanted to show her she was loved, she wanted to give her the hope of a better life awaiting for her, and she soon felt tears running down her own cheeks when she realized she'd succeeded.

A bit later, as the kids were playing with their new gifts in the living room, Killian gently led her to the kitchen for some alone time. Since the kids were there, they would always find a moment to celebrate their own little Christmas, most of the time when they were in bed. She was pretty eager to find herself alone with him, and offer him the gift she'd gotten him.

But for now, her husband could see that she was still moved by the young girl's reaction. He smiled at her and took her in his arms when they found themselves alone, as she was melting through the kiss he was pressing on her forehead.

"I'm so proud of you."

"I'm the one who's proud." She answered immediately, and she felt him smile against her.

They spent a long time hugging there, her head on his shoulder, his hand in her back. The two orphans who'd found one another. The two lost kids who were now feeling safe and loved in each other's arms. They understood each other better than anyone, they'd fought to have their future together, future that they'd almost lost several times, but they were both too stubborn to let go.

They'd built a family, a life together, they'd rebuilt their lives that had been broken so many times before by leaning on one another. And they'd finally found this treasure that was their happiness now, with each other and with their kids. She was loving him so much she didn't even know how to say it out loud anymore, because her feelings were beyond words. He was the person she was trusting most in this world. The one who got her, who loved every part of her.

He knew every scar, every tear and every doubt, he knew everything about her. He'd managed with his patience to break every wall that she'd built around her heart. He'd offered her what she'd always wanted : a family, a home. And sure, their relationship had ups and downs, because they were humans. It wasn't perfect, because they'd both been broken by life, and some scars would never completely heal. But they were helping each other. They were survivors, and they would get through anything together, hand in hand, like they'd always done. Their love was stronger than anything, and they would never give up on each other.

They were fighters. They were going to watch their kids grow up, side by side. Henry becoming a famous and talented writer, Liam growing up to look just like his father, Leia becoming a beautiful and adorable little princess. They would wake up next to each other, fifty years from now, still finding the other more stunning than the day before.

They were going to build their future together.

Their best years were yet to come.

* * *

 **and that's the end! I like to think that Killian and Emma eventually told the truth about magic and fairy tales to Zoey, and adopted her, but that part of the story is up to you!**

 **I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed, favorited, followed or simply read this story. I loved writing this so much, and I really hope you liked it! I'm coming back very, very soon with a whole new fiction, a captainswan AU based in the Enchanted Forest. I'm pretty proud of this next story, and I'm very excited to publish it in here! See you very, very soon! :)**


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